Monday, 4th September.

Z A C

Dawn was breaking on the horizon. Blue hues collided with the dark smear above us and the sound of the world waking up was the sound track to a fresh start in the form of a morning sunrise.

There would be no rain today but the rain we'd had yesterday was needed. Our tank was full. The grass moist for the horses. The fence smelled like damp wood and beads of moisture hung from the shed awning, soon to be dried under the sun. I loved it when it rained and I loved it the morning after even more. The entire earth was rejuvenated, revitalized.

Addie was late this morning. Her door was closed when I went past her bedroom and I'd almost finished feeding the horses without her. Most mornings, she was out long before I was. I didn't hold it against her, no doubt she was emotionally drained after the mess that was made yesterday. There was no harm in her spending the morning in bed if that was what she needed.

Cain Sutton, the seventeen year old who assisted his folks with the horse training was down at the ring, unloading the shed full of saddles and surcingles and other bits and pieces. He was a gangly kid, arms too long, blonde hair that looked darker because it was full of oil and little round eyes that made him look like a sinister villain in a kids cartoon. As harsh as it was, he was uncomfortable to look at. He always looked like he was plotting to shank someone with a pool cue.

"Good morning, Zac," he stood up straight and waved. I gave him a nod. "Where's miss Addie this morning?"

His mild obsession with Addie was not doing him any favors. "In bed."

He carried on shifting equipment around while I opened the gate for Lavender. She was on a rope, itching to go for a gallop. I could feel her pull but she was behaving herself a whole lot more these days,

"Is miss Addie your girlfriend, Zac?"

My face was hidden behind the horse so I didn't concern myself when I rolled my eyes. "Not a girlfriend sort of girl, Cain."

The answer surprised me, even though it had come from my own tongue. It occurred to me that it sort of fit her. She didn't seem like the sort of girl that would need a label, or a declaration or a claim. You'd just love her and she'd love you back. A free spirit that wouldn't hesitate to commit to the place that made her feel most alive.

However, that wasn't how Cain interpreted my answer. "Nice," his tone was suggestive, brows wagging. "Get the lovin' without the fussin'."

"Come again?"

"Oh I just mean, I would give anything to bone a babe like that. And bonus, no tie downs. Must be nice. Is it good? Is she- is she good?"

"Shit kid," I spat with disgust. "Don't ever talk to me like that again. Especially not about her. In fact, don't talk about women like that in general," I walked out of the ring, muttering, shocked and concerned. I don't know if he was just a perv, or if he thought I'd bro down with him if he started degrading the woman that I was falling in love with. "Fuck me. What the hell?"

I passed Hallie on the way back to the stables. "Cain needs a lesson on chivalry, asap."

She stopped and I could feel her staring after me as I kept going. "What?"

"He's disturbed!"

"Zac!"

The sun was out now, Addie was coming down the hill toward me as I closed the paddock gate. My chest expanded because I saw the drawing in her hand and I couldn't wait to tell her that I had a good feeling about the situation with Milo. But when she got closer, her expression wasn't as jovial as I had been expecting.

"Something wrong?"

She stopped in front of me. "Where did this come from?"

"Willa drew it."

She shifted her weight and waved the piece of paper. "Yes, but how did it get here?"

Shit. "I went and saw them last night."

Her jaw twitched, her chest expanded as if she was gearing herself up to go off. "Why did you do that?"

"I wanted to talk to Milo. He was being an asshole and I fixed it."

"It's not your place to fix it!"

I stared down at her agitated furrow and furious pout. "I just wanted to help."

"Well, I don't need it. Ugh, Zac. It's none of your business. You could have made it so much worse! Don't you realise how stupid I look when you're arriving to set things right. As if I packed a tantrum and sent my man down to sort it out. How can Milo trust me with his daughter if I can't even cope with a discrepancy. I was going to give him some space and then go back and ask for forgiveness. Like an adult. Stop butting in."

"What the fuck. Gees, alright. Well, it helped. You're welcome."

"I'm not going to thank you," she scoffed with incredulity. "Like I said, you could have made it worse. First you charge on down to see Raine when they won't respond, now you're telling Milo how he should handle his own daughter. I don't need a white knight or whatever you're trying to be."

Now she'd bruised my ego. I felt embarrassed and fucking hurt. "You ever think that it wasn't all about you?" I shouted as she began to walk off. She spun around again and stopped, staring with heated anger. "Think I might have done it for Will? Because she gets hurt in this mess more than anyone. Yeah I worried about you but she needed someone on her side too. I spoke up for her. So get a fucking grip."

Her cheeks flushed red. "Fuck you."

With that, she stormed off and walked down the hill, around the bend and out of sight. Fuck knows where she was going but I didn't care. I threw my bucket at the fence. "Fuck."

Instead of heading to the shed like I had originally planned, I went straight inside so that I could cool off. Working on the cars required calmness and patience and I was possessing neither of those qualities at the moment. I would end up butchering something and ending up in even more of a state.

I walked into the kitchen and swung the fridge open, finding a cold water, I slammed it shut again. "Fuck," I mumbled, breathless after I'd downed half of the bottle in three seconds flat. "Fuck."

As upset as I was at how rude she'd been, I knew deep down, that she wasn't all wrong. I could have made things worse for her, pissed Milo off to the point that he put his foot down and didn't let me see Willa either. But I had good intentions. Did she have to be such a bitch about it? Does she expect me to apologise?

"I'm not fucking apologising," I muttered and swung the fridge open, only to slam it shut again when I realised that I was too wound up to eat.

If I apologise, it'll only to stop her from being upset with me. She should apologise first. She didn't have to spit the dummy with me, go off the deep end. She could have talked it out and I would have understood her point. Ugh, but if I understand her point, maybe I should apologise first. Be the man and all that.

Be the man? "Ugh, asshole." I banged my head against the cupboard, sick of the sound of my own thoughts.

"Zac?"

I spun around and saw dad at the threshold, his stare full of concern and curiosity. "You alright, son?"

"Oh," I exhaled and looked down at my hand, realising that I'd crushed the water bottle. "Yeah. No, I'm fine, pops."

"You're making a damn awful racket in here. What's going on?"

"Sorry pops."

He walked around the island and stood on the other side, flicking the coffee machine on. "What's going on?" He asked, more stern, giving less room to wiggle out of an explanation.

"I'm just a bit pissed off. It's no big deal."

He scoffed and gestured around the room. "You start thrashing my kitchen, it's a big deal, son."

I leaned both palms on the island and sighed.

"Fine. Don't tell me what's caused the bear sized headache. You want a coffee? Oh and if the mood has anything to do with Addie, it was probably your fault. Apologise."

"What?! My fault?!"

He grinned and pulled two mugs off the free standing rack. "So it is about Addie."

"Ugh," I pushed off the counter and waved in dismissal. Clever bastard. "I tried to help her out, do the right thing and she didn't appreciate it. Told me I was butting in and to stop being a white knight. I was helping."

Dad chuckled and spooned a big heap full of sugar into both mugs, despite the fact that I stopped having sugar in my coffee when I was twenty six. Whatever. I couldn't be bothered correcting him right now.

"Of course you wanted to help. You like to help. You stick your nose in and come to the rescue. You do it with me, Raine, even that Tyler kid. I'm not surprised you got accused of being a white knight."

I watched him with a narrow stare. "You say it like helping is a bad thing."

"No. Not a bad thing. But once in a while, people need to take care of themselves. Figure things out for themselves. Help themselves. People need that sense of accomplishment. Problem solving and over coming obstacles. It's the part of life that helps us learn and grow as individuals, son. Step back and ask yourself if Addie is really overreacting to whatever happened."

"She is."

He stopped mid milk pour and shot me a frightening stare. "You sure?"

I swallowed and thought before I answered him again. I thought hard. My need to help wasn't just about her, it was about Willa and I suppose she didn't know that. Still, I could have explained that reasonably without getting upset. Her temper startled me, caused me to be defensive and I lashed out. Perhaps we'd both come at it with the wrong approach, but all I could do was apologise for my part.

"I guess, not having all the information, her reaction was somewhat justified."

He nodded, stirring a spoon in the bright orange mug with no handle before he moved onto the black one with a chip in the rim. He watched his hand move in circles and I waited for him to tell me something. I could almost feel it coming. What else did he want to tell me?

"I'm thinking about selling the land. Keeping one of the paddocks for the shed so you have something to work on the cars in, and moving into a retirement village. A big one. With its own homes and a little shopping complex and all of that. The bells and whistles."

My mouth fell open.

"Don't be looking at me like that. I'm tired, son. I'm done with this horse business and so are you. You want cars. Full time cars. I want you to have this house and space for cars. You've earned it, son. Taking care of this place for so long, we both deserve a bit of rest."

My head was spinning. I'd never imagined my father to move into a retirement village. I just couldn't visualise it. "But, what about the horses. This was mom's passion. Her life."

"Yeah," he took a deep breath. "It was hers. And I loved her for it. The care that she took. The love that she had for those creatures. Beautiful. But she's gone, son. She'd want us to do what's best for us. She'd want us to be happy and not just okay. She wouldn't want us spending the rest of our lives doing something that we didn't love."

"I don't hate looking after the horses."

"You don't love it though, son. You want cars. That's what brings you happiness. I know. And I can't even go out there no more. It hurts. Even after all this time, it hurts. You should have this house, I don't want it gone, I just want something a little cosier. But I'll visit, a lot."

"Can we just slow down," I said, feeling breathless. "I mean, when is all this happening?"

"Oh," he laughed. "I haven't made any sort of arrangements. Just wanted to chat about it first."

So much was changing and happening so fast that I felt as if I couldn't keep up. We'd been in a routine for a long time. A solid routine and all of a sudden I'm falling in love and Willa is meeting her birth mom and dad is discussing the concept of moving out and giving up the horses. I feel like I've just dropped on a roller coaster and I'm not sure when my stomach is going to catch up with my body.