meanstreak
rick grimes 𝘹 fem!𝘰𝘤
© WANDARYEN ──── 2024

I leaped from the car when we arrived back to the prison. Maggie and I ran up to our father and younger sister, embracing them both in a tight hug. Being held by our father was just what we needed; like we were kids again.

I pulled away from him and gave Beth a gentle kiss on the crown of her head then smiled as she looked at us. Beths smile was a cure, along side with her warm hugs. As the youngest, she still looked out for us. She was the root to keeping us together through every rough patch.

"Beth, why don't you take your sister inside and help her wash up." I gestured towards Maggie and Beth nodded. I watched them both disappear into the prison block before turning to Rick.

My father put a hand on my back as Rick took a stance in front of us, a small smile resting on his face. "You came through, like always." My father commented. "Sounds like we have a new problem on our hands."

Rick nodded, "yeah."

"You get a good look at him?"

I slowly crossed my arms over my chest and shook my head as I looked between both men. "I was pinned and everything seemed to have happened so fast."

Rick ran his hand down his face, visibly exhausted, "he had Daryl and Merle pitted against each other. A crowd cheering for them to fight to the death while Sienna was forced on her knees to watch. What kind of a sick mind does that?"

"The kind this world creates." Hershel sighed. I looked up at my father and his eyes seemed to have dipped downwards, glancing at the ground as I tilted my head to the side. "What's wrong? The baby?" Rick asked and my father shook his head. "No, the baby, she's healthy. Eats like a horse, sleeps like a rock."

"So what is it?"

"Something we'll approach momentarily." I watched as my father nodded up towards the prison — his gaze lingering between Rick and I. "You two come inside and rest for a while. Exhaustion is going to catch up to the both of you sooner or later."

I nodded knowingly, but gestured towards the furthest watch tower. "I'll be there in a moment — I just need some time. Need to catch my breath."

I walked away before either of them could stop me and immediately headed straight towards the tower. I was painfully exhausted, just like my father had predicted — but I needed time to clean my head.

Daryl was gone.

Maggie and Glenn were tortured — maybe even worse.

My sister refused to tell me what happened on the drive back. I didn't want to corner her or put her in an uncomfortable position — especially with an audience.

When I finally came to her and told her Steven was abusing me — she listened the entire time and never interjected while I was speaking. Even her facial expressions remained the same, until I finished speaking my part, and she had a chance to steamroll through the emotions.

She was angry and then she was mortified — but then came the self resentment and I reassured her. She cried in my arms and I held her during the whole thing.

I didn't want her holding me because I didn't want to be pitied.

I understood, years ago, that my situation with my fiancé was as cruel as anything. The only reason why he stuck around longer than intended was so he didn't bring harm to my own family. I much rather have him take his anger out on me than one of my sisters or our father.

Truthfully if he did — I would've killed him a lot sooner.

"Sienna?"

I turned away from the large window of the guard tower. Rick was standing next to the door, closing it gently behind him before resting his hands on his waist.

"You alright?"

I nodded briefly before turning my gaze back towards the window. The woods seemed impossibly empty — only a few walkers wandering around aimlessly. The fact there was barely anything outside of the prison to be concerned about brought me even more concern to begin with.

It felt quiet — too quiet.

"How's your head?" He appeared beside me, his presence bringing me more warmth than the Georgia heat.

I subconsciously reached up and touched the back of my head. My hair was pulled from the elastic and my scalp ached from where the man held a tight grip for a solid five minutes — maybe even longer. "If I go through hair loss — does that make me less intimidating?"

Rick smiled, shaking his head. "With your stubbornness and act of leadership, I'd say you're going to be just fine."

We laughed together and tears formed in my eyes — the action so sudden I wasn't even sure why I was beginning to cry. Until I remembered the last time I stood here with Rick was because he didn't want me to go with him for the same very reason I was feeling emotional. Maybe even embarrassed.

"Here, let me take a look." He was already shifting behind me, before I had the chance to protest and his fingers gently began caressing the back of my head.

My eyes voluntarily closed when I felt the pads of his fingers massage the skin of my scalp. His fingers lightly danced on the spot to ease the pain and give it comfort — a small sigh of relief exiting my lips.

When his hand dropped and the soft feeling disappeared after several moments, I felt the unwanted tears returning.

I quickly covered my face with both of my hands, a small choked sob escaping my body before I could force it down like a hiccup.

The silence between us was almost defeating until I felt him rub my shoulder before his hand wandered down my back. It made me cry harder — a comforted feeling I never got to experience with Steven, not once. And if I did, it was brief, unaccounted for and definitely forgotten.

"I'm sorry." I used the heels of my palms to wipe my eyes, purposely applying pressure in hopes it would force the tears to stop.

"Sorry for what? There's nothing to apologize for." His voice was soft — comforting. The kind of tone I've heard him use on Lori while in passing.

I nodded eagerly before shrugging, dropping my hands to my waist. "You didn't want me to go, told me to stay here — I put you in an uncomfortable position and in the end got myself and Daryl trapped. Now he's gone. I can't help but wander if I hadn't gone, would he still be with us?"

Out the corner of my eye he shook his head relentlessly before lowering his own gaze towards the floor. "Whether you were there or not — Daryl still would've left with his brother. That was his own choice to make." His hand on my back traveled to my wrist with a gentle tug and I was forced to face him. "So, I'm still wondering, how is this your fault?"

"Maybe not directly, but — " I forced my gaze out the window, unable to finish my sentence.

"You know what I think?" He tugged on my wrist again. I looked down at his hand before looking up and meeting his lingering stare. "You're still healing from past trauma — having PTSD that you're still learning how to handle. Apologizing for something that wasn't your fault to avert from future consequences. It's a coping mechanism."

His thumb rubbed gently against the pulse on my inner wrist. "You don't have to do that anymore, Sienna. Anything that happens can be fixed or at least — whatever fears you have, just give them to me. I'll fix it myself."

The breath in my lungs caught firmly and my body was moving before I could register what I was doing. But I know what I wanted to do — how badly I wanted to get rid of Steven from my entire system. I wanted to rip him out of me like he was a virus leeching off my emotions.

I brought my freehand up to Ricks face and cradled it gently while pressing my lips firmly against his own.

His grip on my wrist loosened, giving me full freedom to hold his face with both of my hands as his owns secured themselves tightly around my waist.

I nearly stumbled into his body with the force he was using to pull me closer, but each time I brought my lips closer to his for anything kiss — he would respond more eagerly. It sent a shiver straight down my spine to my core.

Steven never kissed me with so much want and he was already beginning to be forgotten about.

I refused to stand here in someone else's arms and only think about how my dead fiancé never touched me like he actually loved me. But the way Rick did — there was a certain unsettling feeling that maybe I was missing out on something entirely different than what I forced myself to believe.

His hands wandered below my ass and cupped my thighs. My lips practically ached to be away from his for the split second it took. My stomach flipped with anticipation when he carelessly hoisted me up and I wrapped my legs securely around his waist.

I twirled the mop of curls at the back of his neck with my fingers before tugging at them playfully — which caused his head to tilt backwards.

A smile stretched across his face when our lips disconnected and I couldn't help myself from laughing.

He gripped my thighs once before carefully — somehow — placing us both down on the ground of the watch tower. I tried to imagine the whole scenario without opening my eyes but gave up entirely when his lips strayed away from mine and started leaving a wet trail down the column of my throat.

I tried to suppress my own moans, God forbid someone was outside, but his hands traveled up from my thighs and gripped my hips with hunger.

His lips paraded around my throat to my collarbone and I quickly held onto his shoulders. There was no way I was becoming this needy over something that hasn't even happened yet but the aching feeling growing in my core was becoming unable.

"Rick?" I was too embarrassed to look him in the eyes.

His lips strayed from my neck and I sunk into the floor with disappointment. "Hm?" He gently gripped my sides again and forced me to finally look at him.

No words could be made — my entire vocabulary slipping through me completely as he reached up and picked a strand of hair away from my face.

I wanted him to keep going but I was becoming too nervous to voice those thoughts directly. If only he could hear them and I wouldn't be forced to speak on what I wanted — but those thoughts came as clear as day when he purposely grinded himself against me and I couldn't stop the moan from coming out.

I opened my eyes to peer up at him and nearly gasped to catch his blue eyes watching me already. A careful linger behind his stare — intending to make sure I was good so I decided to nod my head in hopes he would understand.

I reached up to touch his curls again, a light smile stretching across my face until he grinded against me again and my eyes rolled back from the pleasure friction.

His hand reached for my thigh and propped it up against his waist. We groaned in sync and I was becoming utterly embarrassed by how needy I sounded. It probably came off desperate — maybe a little too carelessly even though anybody could be on watch.

As if the man could read my mind, his soft voice pierced my ears and brought my focus back to him. "When was the last time — "

I shook my head. It was long — too long since I've felt any kind of affection from a man. Even during the long treacherous years we spent on the road constantly searching for our next safe haven — I never laid with another person.

Almost as if I was subconsciously waiting for Rick. The realization gave me enough courage when I bucked my hips and forced him down on his back.

While eagerly pulling my shirt off — he sat up and begin kissing the skin beneath my bra with his large hands caressing my sides. Each touch sent a burning fury straight through my body — as if someone was using a defibrillator to bring me back to life.

Once my bra was discarded and I was left half bare to the man, he left a trail of lingering kisses across my skin before pulling me back down for another passionate kiss. I began grinding myself against him with my chest flat against his — my fingers finding home in his hair once again.

We flipped open once more and he didn't hesitate to remove his belt, followed by his jeans and my own. There was no moment of hesitation — no chance to change our minds on our current predicament before he lined himself up with my aching core and pushed forward.

A soft moan fell from my lips like a mantra and he quickly braced himself with one hand on my waist and the other beside my head on the ground.

I wrapped my leg around his waist, allowing him to use my lower half as leverage to keep himself up. But I was too quick to judge a man for his age and how much stamina he probably carried; because with the way he was grinding into me, I almost confused him for someone else entirely.

With how gentle he caressed my body with his hands but pounded into my core, I felt my toes curl from pure ecstasy and I didn't have the chance to warn him before I came undone.

His neck dropped heavy into the crook of my neck — planting lingering hot kisses along the sweaty skin. My moans mixed with his in sympathy until his became breathless and unstable — insinuating that he was reaching his own peak.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought his lips back to mine in an attempt to mask our moans. I no longer carried who was around — there was nothing in the world that could compare to the ultimate pleasure I was experiencing right now. I almost never wanted it to end.

His kiss grew firmer and his hips spluttered against mine until he pulled out and released himself somewhere that wasn't my body. Almost as if he didn't want to mark himself on me — a thought I would have to come back to another time if I ever found the courage to revisit this particular moment.

The tip of his nose brushed against mine and our breathing slowed to a steady synchronization. He used his thumb to brush some sweat from under my eye — his gaze lingering on me for a moment longer before rolling over towards the side.

Neither of us said anything and I wasn't entirely sure if that was a good thing — or something about to become more tragic than I was prepared for.

dylan