meanstreak
rick grimes 𝘹 fem!𝘰𝘤
© WANDARYEN ──── 2024

Daryl, Glenn, and I made it back to the house after our encounter with Randall. I had my gun back into its holster, using the back of hand to wipe the sweat off my forehead.

When I entered the living room, I looked around rather quickly only to notice Rick wasn't back; and neither was Shane. Panic started to rise in my chest as I placed my hands on my waist.

"Where Rick and Shane?" I asked quickly.

"They're not back, yet." Lori looked over at me with worry and I quickly looked to Daryl.

"We heard a shot." Glenn pointed out.

"Maybe they found Randall?" Carol brought up.

Daryl shook his head, "we found him."

"Is he back in the shed?" Lori asked as everyone stood around listening.

My lips pursed with concern, slowly shaking my head at the woman. "He's a walker." Lori's gaze held mine momentarily before they flickered towards Daryl's. "Did you find the walker that bit him?"

"No, the weird thing is — he wasn't bit. His neck was broke. So he fought back. The thing is, Shane and Randall's tracks were right on top of each other. And Shane ain't no tracker, so he didn't come up behind him. They were together." Daryl explained as Lori made her way over to him.  "Would you please get back out there, find Rick and Shane and find out what on earth is going on?" Daryl nodded, "you got it."

"It just doesn't make sense," Glenn whispered to me.

I crossed my arms over my chest and nodded. "If Randall died from a broken neck, how'd he get infected without a bite mark?"

"Maybe he got a cut, got infected by a walker that could've passed already?" Maggie walked up to us, placing her arms over her chest as well but I shook my head. "Unless a walker left a trace of blood we didn't see; it's not possible. Daryl's a tracker. What we noticed was blood on a tree but it was fresh. And it wasn't from Randall."

"So, what do you think happened?" Lori asked.

I sighed, "we don't—, we're not sure."

She brought her hands to her face worriedly and slowly dragged them down before taking a seat on a nearby chair. "I don't understand what's going on."

"We'll find them," I reassured the woman. "But we should remain calm until the men get back and we discuss things thoroughly."

Maggie nodded, "great idea."

I turned away from my sister and Glenn, opening the screen door to the house and slowly stepping out onto the porch with a heavy sigh. With the lights from the porch shining dim and low, it was enough to give me sight to look out into the distance.

I noticed several figures moving, automatically assuming to be the men making their way back. But as the figures started multiplying, my heart slowly fumbled deep and I quickly turned my head to the door. "Dad!" I called out softly.

He came out in a rush — not ten seconds after I called for him, standing beside me as he took in the same sight as I did. The bodies multiplied slowly but surely across the farm.

"Patricia, kill the lights." My father whispered. Andrea pushed the screen door open, speaking softly toward us. "I'll get the guns."

Glenn suddenly came out from the house as Daryl made his way back up the front porch. "Maybe they're just passing, like the herd on the highway. Should we just go inside?" Glenn looked between Daryl and I.

"Not unless there's a tunnel downstairs I don't know about. A herd that size would rip the house down." Daryl stated.

"Fuck," I muttered nervously under my breath before placing my hand on my father's arm. "There's no way we can avoid it, we need to do something about this. I can grab a vehicle and a gun — maybe try to lore them away?"

"That might be our best bet," Daryl nodded in agreement.

Lori suddenly came rushing out of the house with her hand pressed against her chest. "Carl's gone."

Carol immediately came to her side as the rest of us turned around, "what?"

"He—he was upstairs. I can't find him anymore." Glenn looked at Lori and shrugged. "Maybe he's hiding." Lori shook her head in protest, holding her hand over her heart. "He's supposed to be upstairs. I'm not leaving without my boy."

Carol took Lori's hands and gave her a reassuring smile. "We're not. We're gonna look again. We're gonna find him."

The two walked back into the house in search for Carl as Andrea came back out with the bag of guns. Everyone immediately started digging in and pulling out guns, including Maggie. Glenn stared at her in shock. "You grow up country, you pick up a thing or two." She stated and I smiled just slightly, pulling my gun out of its holster.

"You can go if you want." Hershel suggested, clicking his gun.

"You gonna take 'em all on?" Daryl nodded his head at him while I started grabbing more ammo out of the bag.

"We have guns. We have cars. Kill as many as we can, and we'll use the cars to lead the rest of them off the farm."

Glenn looked over at my father, shocked. "Are you serious?"

My father looked between me and the boys. "This is my farm. I'll die here." I watched him walk off with his gun, leaving the rest to collect ammo on the porch. "Alright. It's as good a night as any." Daryl hopped over the porch railing and onto the grass, heading towards his motorcycle.

I followed Glenn, and Maggie down the porch as they made their way to one of the cars. I stopped beside my father and placed my hand on his shoulder. He turned to me and lowered his gun. "I'm proud of you Sienna. I always have been. You're one of my greatest achievements."

A smile tugged at my lips as my eyes became glossy. I leaned up and kissed my father on the cheek, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "I'm not leaving this farm without you. We're holding it down together, for mom." And with that, I quickly walked off towards the car and got into the back seat.

Maggie drove off with some speed as Glenn and I rolled down our windows, sticking our heads out and pointing our guns towards the few walkers we first came across.

"Whatever you do Maggie, don't stop the car. You keep driving!" I instructed out loud and I could see her head nod from behind the seat.

I slightly tilted my head to the side and looked through the sight to shoot. I was lucky enough to shoot a few in the head, others got hit in the chest or the stomach but enough blows to get them falling to the ground.

Out from in front of us, I noticed the barn suddenly caught on fire and my eyebrows raised in surprise. I quickly brought my head back inside the car, "you think that's Shane and Rick?!"

"Maybe! Keep shooting!" Glenn yelled, popping off several more rounds.

But the more we killed, the more that showed up. The dead was multiplying by the second and I knew we didn't stand a chance against them even the slightest bit.

We were out numbered by maybe a hundred — or more. I quickly brought my head back into the car and rolled up my windows and Glenn followed suit. I looked out towards the window and pointed towards the blue truck that was beginning to drive off. "Should we follow them?"

"I'd say yes. Swing it around here," Glenn ordered but we suddenly became trapped as walkers started to pile at the hood of the car.

"I cant get through!" Maggie cried out.

"Back the car up and head out!" Glenn shouted.

Maggie looked over her shoulder at me before fixing her gaze toward Glenn. "What?"

I leaned forward in between Maggie and Glenn — my fingers gripping the seats, "get off the farm now."

My sister shook her head in protest. "Don't say that." There was a croak in her voice, pain with having to leave. My chest was just as tight as I looked off towards the house, no longer seeing my father standing out front.

My heart throbbed against my chest at the possibility that he could've died, causing my hand to hit the back of the seat. "Maggie, go! Right now!"

She began to cry, shaking her head repeatedly until Glenn looked at my sister. "Maggie, it's lost!" He suddenly shouted.

"The others — we can't leave them." She was still protesting until Glenn raised his voice again. "Get off the farm now!" She quickly put the car in reverse, backing away from the walkers in front of us before taking a sharp turn and driving away from the barn.

"How could you just want to leave them?!" Maggie cried.

"I didn't want to!" I shouted, my eyes filling with tears as I dropped my gun on the seat beside me. "Beth—, dad, Patricia!" I could see the tears streaming down her cheeks from the mirror and I quickly shook my head, letting out a painful sob. "Maggie, we had to! We would've died if we didn't make it out!"

"Maggie, Sienna — breathe," Glenn instructed, placing his hand on the dashboard in front of him. Maggie inhaled slowly, driving on the road at a slow speed now. "Alright, let's just..let's just circle back to the highway." Glenn nodded.

"Did you see our dad? Did—did he make it? Did you see?" Maggie asked, her voice growing shaky with every word.

Glenn shook his head. "I couldn't see anything."

"And Beth..I lost Beth. We've gotta go back there."

My chest was rising up and down, my fingers gripping my jeans until I let out a shaky breath. "I think Beth was with Lori. Did they make it?" Maggie glanced over at Glenn as he sat there calmly.

Glenn shook his head, "I don't know."

"Patricia? Jimmy? What if they didn't make it? What if nobody made it?"

I slowly sat forward and placed a hand on my sister's shoulder, looking at the side of her face. "They made it, okay? They had to. Alright? Let's just circle around to the highway where they left supplies for Sophia."

Maggie shook her head. "No, the herd came from that direction."

Glenn took a deep breath before letting it out. "Just stop. Stop the car."

As Maggie pulled over, Glenn got out of the car and walked over to the drivers side while Maggie switched seats to the passenger. I ran my hands over my face and wiped the tears from my cold cheeks as Glenn reached over and cradled Maggie's face in his hands. "Hey — hey, hey, Maggie, look at me. Look at me. Hey, we're alive. We made it. Okay? I'm sure they are, too. Right?" There was a pause until I noticed Glenn swallow thickly. "I love you. Maggie, I love you. I should've said it a long time ago and it's been true for a long time."

I looked away the moment Glenn pulled my sister close for a single kiss and a hug that probably cured her broken heart within seconds.

Jealousy suddenly overcame me but I shook the disgusting emotion off quickly. I wasn't about to sit here and cry over a man that didn't love me. Our relationship wasn't real — our friendship wasn't real. Steven was simply a vessel keeping me from moving forward.

When sunlight returned, the three of us made it to the highway with the blue truck and Daryl's motorcycle following closely behind.

We were able to spot them both along the way and waved them down to follow. When we parked, I noticed our father standing beside Rick and Carl with big smiles on their faces.

I quickly jumped out the car and ran towards my father as he opened his arms to us both. My arms wrapped around his neck tightly as Maggie held his waist. I let out a small sob of happiness, my head falling on his shoulder until Beth came running up and the three of us held her in between.

"Where'd you find everyone?" Rick asked as Daryl came walking up, sharing a brotherly fist pump. "Well, those guys' tail lights zigzagging all over the road — figured he had to be Asian, driving like that." I chuckled softly, looking over at Glenn then grabbing his shoulder and squeezing it lightly.

Glenn smiled, "good one."

I let go of my father, allowing my sisters to engulf him in a strong hug, before I turned to Rick and suddenly threw my arms around him. A sigh of relief exiting my mouth and fanning his neck.

His arms slowly secured themselves around my waist. "I'm glad you got out," he whispered softly under his breath.

"Me too," I agreed with a nod before pulling away.

"Where's the rest of us?" Lori questioned, now holding Carol in her arms with Carol at her side.

Rick exhaled heavily. "We're the only ones who made it so far." I watched Lori's facial expression slowly falter with realization. "Shane?" I looked up at watched as Rick shook his head, his own gaze averting away from Lori's.

"Andrea?" T-Dog pipped up.

"She saved me, then I lost her." Carol spoke before slowly shaking her head. "We saw her go down."

Our father looked down at Beth, his arm fighting around the youngest as his voice filled with concern. "Patricia?" She shook her head with fresh tears forming. "They got her, too. Took her right in front of me. I was — I was holdin' onto her, daddy." Hershel slowly nodded, "what about Jimmy? Did you see Jimmy?"

Rick placed his hands on his hips, shifting weight from one foot to the other, "He was in the RV. It got overrun. You definitely saw Andrea?" He looked towards T-Dog. "There were walkers everywhere." He sighed.

"Did you see her?" Rick asked and T-Dog shook his head.

"I'm gonna go back." Daryl spoke, about to mound his bike but Rick declined. "We can't just leave her." T-Dog raised his eyebrows, gesturing towards the woods.

"Maybe she'll know to come here?" I looked up at Rick but he shook his head.

"We don't even know if she's there. She isn't there. She isn't. She's somewhere else or she's dead. There's no way to find her." Glenn shifted on his feet, his brows furrowing. "So we're not even gonna look for her?" Rick swallowed hard, "we gotta keep moving. There have been walkers crawling all over here."

"I say head east." T-Dog piped up.

Daryl grabbed his crossbow suddenly from his motorcycle. "Stay off the main roads. The bigger the road, the more walkers, more assholes like this one." Daryl lifted his crossbow, "I got him." I watched the arrow go straight through its head and its body fall limp against the ground with a thud.

When we got back onto the road, I stayed in the same car with my father and Beth, holding her tightly to my body for comfort. My fingers ran through her long blonde hair while my free hand softly rubbed her back.

When Ricks truck honked behind us, we slowly pulled over to the side with Daryl stopping in front of us. Each of us climbed out of the cars and I instantly crossed my arms over my chest before Beth wrapped her arms around my waist for warmth. I held her close to me as we got together in a small circle.

"You out?" Daryl asked.

Rick nodded, "Running on fumes. We'll have to make a run for some gas in the morning."

Carol crossed her arms over her chest, her eyebrows furrowing with worry. "Spend the night here?"

"I'm freezing," Carl looked up at his mom as she rubbed his chest for warmth. "We'll build a fire, yeah?"

"You go out looking for firewood, stay close." Rick ordered.

"We can't just sit here with our asses hanging out." Maggie quickly piped up, receiving a glare from our father. "Watch your mouth. Everyone stop panicking and listen to Rick." When the chatter got silent, Rick gave Hershel a nod. "All right, we'll set up a perimeter. In the morning, we'll find gas and some supplies. We'll keep pushing on."

"Glenn and I can go make a run now, try and scrounge up some gas." I spoke up, looking at Rick but he shook his head. "No, we stay together. God forbid something happens and people get stranded without a car."

Glenn shook his head in disagreement, "Rick, we're stranded now."

"I know it looks bad, we've all been through hell and worse, but at least we found each other. I wasn't sure. I really wasn't — but we did. We're together. We keep it that way. We'll find shelter somewhere. There's gotta be a place." Rick was trying his hardest to keep everyone positive for the sake of the group, but everyone was just about scared out of their minds as they stood around waiting for answers.

Glenn sighed from beside me, "Rick look around. There's walkers everyone. They're migrating or something."

"There's gotta be a place not just where we hole up, but that we fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together, build a life for each other. I know it's out there. We just have to find it." Ricks voice was raising with anger and frustration.

I shifted my gaze between each individual of the group before speaking us. "We've been traveling for a bit, we need a minute to calm down. One second we're arguing about who's going where to retrieve what — then the next we're arguing that nobody is allowed to go anywhere." I crossed my arms firmly over my chest and allowed my wandering gaze to fall on Rick. "I agree that we should stay close for now. Let's regain our strength and head back out in the morning — we've been up all not and we're exhausted."

Rick's eyes bore heavily into mine, a very subtle nod in my direction as if he was silently thanking me for agreeing with him.

"Even if we do find a place and we think it's safe, we can never be sure." Maggie spoke up, turning to me with caution. "For how long? Look what happened with the farm. We fooled ourselves into thinking that that was safe."

Hershel looked towards Maggie, "We won't make that mistake again."

"We'll make camp tonight over there, get on the road at the break of day." Rick added.

"Does this feel right to you?" Carol asked from beside Daryl. Beth now moved away from my side and walked up to Rick with almost a pleading look. "What if walkers come through, or another group like Randall's?"

Daryl stood between the group, speaking directly towards Rick. "You know I found Randall, right? He had turned, but he wasn't bit."

"How's that possible?" Beth asked.

From behind Rick, Lori was still rubbing Carl's chest before she placed her hands on his shoulders. "Rick, what the hell happened?"

A heartbeat of silence filled the empty space between all of us before Daryl spoke up. "Shane killed Randall. Just like he always wanted to."

"And then the herd got him?" Lori questioned.

I shifted my glance from Daryl over to Rick, sudden concern blooming in my chest when he refused to meet my gaze by studying the ground beneath his feet.

He placed his hand on the holster of his gun. "We're all infected." My lips parted slightly, quickly looking over at my father as he stood silently. "At the CDC, Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it."

I shook my head swiftly, dropping my arms from my chest and stepping towards Rick. "But you never said anything—" He looked over at me and sighed. "Would it have made a difference?"

"You knew this whole time?" Glenn questioned.

"How could I have known for sure?" Rick spoke defensively. "You saw how crazy that mo—"

"That is not your call!" Glenn raised his voice at Rick. The whole group grew silent. "Okay, when I found out about the walkers in the barn, I told, for the good of everyone." Rick swallowed hard, looking down. "Well, I thought it best that people didn't know." He turned away and walked off from the group. Lori kissed the top of Carl's head before following after him.

I brought my thumb to my lips, lightly chewing on the nail before I turned to Glenn and Daryl. "It makes sense now."

"Still doesn't make it right," Glenn spoke sternly and I nodded in agreement. "It was the wrong call. But how we're reacting now wouldn't of been any different if he told us before. Now we have to live with it."

"How could you just say that?" Beth turned to me, her lips formed into a frown with fear flashing through her eyes.

I released a small sigh and tucked some of my hair behind her ear. "Because now that we know, we have to process and come to terms with it. We need to work together as a group to stay alive. What we say or do isn't going change the fact that we're — infected. It's not going to change anything Beth, I'm sorry."

"She's right," our father nodded. "We can't keep fighting. It won't do us any good."

Nightfall came quickly as everyone sat around a now built camp fire to stay warm. I stood up from beside my dad, placing my hand on his shoulder as I walked over towards Rick and crossed my arms over my chest to keep myself warm. "They're just scared," I spoke quietly. "We're still trying to process everything that just went down over the past 19 hours. Give them time."

Rick places his hands on his waist and sighed. "We don't have time, Sienna."

"You're our leader," I spoke more sternly, getting him to turn his attention towards me. "They need the hope back that they've just lost. You can give them that." I looked over at Rick and sighed, "look, I forgive you. If you're seeking forgiveness that's fine. You thought you were doing that's best, which just so happened it wasn't — but you're trying. You've kept this group alive longer than anybody else could. I'm grateful that my family is still alive."

"I was waiting for the right time," Rick admitted. "Everything went wrong and I was running out of time to tell them. They deserved to know."

"I nodded my head in agreement, "yes, and now we do. Later is better than never." He looked down at me and I smiled slightly, giving him reassurance. "It's better to know now then find out the hard way."

"Just as Rick was about to open his mouth, Carol stood up from the camp fire in panic when there was a sound of trees rustling from behind us. "We need to leave. What are we waiting for?"

Rick and I turned around, walking towards the camp. "No ones going anywhere," he instructed sternly. "The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark. We don't have the vehicles. No ones traveling on foot." There was another sound of movement from the woods, a branch snapping rather loudly as everyone looked around in fear.

"Don't panic," Hershel instructed.

"I'm not sitting here waiting for another herd to blow through." Carol spoke in frustration. "We need to move— now."

"No one's going anywhere," Rick repeated himself angrily, causing me to glance over at him.

"Do something!" Carol snapped.

"I am doing something!" Rick whispered shouted at the woman. "I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doing that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this. I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ's sake!" I looked over towards Lori and Carl as the boy started to cry.

An overwhelming feeling of dread weighed against my chest but I remained planted firmly by Ricks side.

"You saw what he was like, how he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us. He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back. He gave me no choice. He was my friend, but he came after me." He started to pace slowly in front of everyone. My eyes shifted over towards Maggie as she looked at me with as much confusion.

I slowly shook my head, almost telling her not to disagree with the situation. We all had our own opinions. Our own set of fear and anger. But what we all knew was that Shane hated Rick. It was as clear as day.

"My hands are clean," Rick continued. "Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead. I say there's a place for us, but maybe—maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe I'm fooling myself again." He rubbed his face with his hand, taking a deep breath. "Why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard!" He started to frantically wave his hand around in the air, gesturing to nothing in particular. "Go on, there's the door. You can do better? Let's see how far you get."

The group fell silent.

"No takers?" Rick raised his eyebrows. "Fine. But get one thing straight," he paused, looking around the group. "You're staying. This isn't a democracy anymore."