meanstreak
rick grimes 𝘹 fem!𝘰𝘤
© WANDARYEN ──── 2024

I balanced Judith on my hip, allowing her to grab onto my hair as I paced back and forth down the hallway in silence.

Michonne was watching over Deanna while Rick spoke with Jessie in another room after checking the windows to look at the crowd outside.

I placed a gentle kiss on the crown of Judith's head as Carl slipped past me. Watching him walk down the stairs I then turned around and walked into the room with Rick and Jessie, "how's it looking?" I asked calmly and they both turned away from the window to meet my gaze.

Rick placed a hand on his hip and shook his head with a small sigh. "They're crowding the streets. We were just discussing how much food we have and how long we could hold out. We just need to keep quiet for a while."

I nodded my head knowingly and turned around, taking Judith back to the room where she could continue to rest in the bed like she was earlier.

When I placed a blanket around her body to keep her warm, I heard a crash coming from downstairs and quickly ran out into the hall.

Rick and Jessie weren't far behind when I jogged down the steps and rushed up to the door that led to the garage. My eyebrows furrowed and I quickly started banging on the door with my fist. "Carl?"

"Carl!" Rick matched my tone of worry as he came up behind me and started messing with the doorknob while using his free hand to hit the door.

"Ron open the door right now!" Jessie shouted between our ears, not getting a response from anyone on the other side.

"Back up!" Rick ordered for the both of us to move out the way, in response he pulled out his axe and started hitting against the door knob.

When we heard several more crashes and walkers coming from the other side, it caused Rick to hack at the door knobs even harder before they completely fell off. I then used my foot and kicked the door open, the three of us rushing to get the boys back inside.

"Get a mattress quickly!" I ordered for anyone in the house to apply weight to keep the door shut while the walkers tried pushing it open.

Four of us leaned against the door trying to keep it shut as the others ran around getting one of the mattresses as told. Rick quickly leaned against it with Gabriel, "we need more, and we need to be quiet."

"I'll see what I can find," I spoke up with Michonne now by my side.

We ran upstairs and started grabbing smaller nightstands that we can pile on top of each other, yanking out the lamps and tossing them to the side.

"Will this work?" Michonne looked over at me and I shook my head, picking up the nightstand with a grunt. "It's gonna have to."

We carefully walked down the stairs and started stacking the nightstands on top of each other, pushing them against the door. Gabriel was quick to come back with other things as well, mounting more objects against the pile.

We took a steady step backwards to look at our work — watching the door to make sure it was sturdy enough to walk away with enough weight held against it.

Michonne stepped backwards and walked into the living where Jessie followed. "They knocked over the statue," Michonne stated. "It's drawing more attention."

Judith could be heard crying from upstairs and Rick turned away to go check on her quickly.

"We have to keep the windows covered and stay quiet. Don't let them hear us or see us." I stated and the others nodded their head in agreement. "They're starting to gather around the porch — I think it's best prop something up against the front window just in case."

"I have an extra mattress — we can use the couch too," Jessie suggested as she started to walk around. I nodded my head and followed after her with Carl by my side.

The three of us grabbed the extra mattress from the spare bedroom and carried out into the hallway. "Grab the coffee table!" I pointed in the living room, Gabriel and Michonne quick to follow point and push everything onto the floor. "Couch next," I suggested and the three of us quickly backed away as the two pushed the table against the mattress.

With all the walkers making their way on the porch, they started pushing up against the window and caused the plywood covering Jessie's broken window to fall off.

We were all quick to move on our feet and push against the mattress and table, trying to keep the walkers out of the house. I yelled out Rick's name, calling him downstairs out of panic and in which he responded almost immediately.

"There's too many of them," I spoke tiredly, my back bouncing off the mattress then falling back against from the pushing.

"Everybody get upstairs!" Michonne yelled out while pulling out her sword.

The side door started to break open, practically splitting in half as walkers stumbled inside. "We have to go, now!" I shouted, holding my arms out for everyone to back away.

"Get the couch!" Rick spoke before rushing back over to the front of the house with Gabriel and Jessie. We started to run up the stairs as they dragged the couch to block the pathway of the walkers coming up to the second floor.

"We're going to need bed sheets! Enough for everyone," Rick spoke as he suddenly started to drag a dead corpse into the room we were all standing in. Michonne was right behind him, bringing in a second one and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Bed sheets for what?" Jessie asked, her breathing heavier than usual.

Rick kneeled down to the bodies and pulled out his axe, looking up at our small group. "We all go to the armory."

"How?" Jessie asked with Ron now at her side.

I looked down at the bodies then brought my gaze towards Rick, quickly putting two and two together before kneeling down beside him. "We're going to mask our scents with these."

Rick and I made eye contact and he nodded his head. "Cover ourselves with the insides. It'll mask our smell, make them think we're like them."

There was a moment of silence between the group, the others standing around and looking down at the bodies. Rick wiped the sweat from his forehead with his arm and gestured towards the bodies. "I've done this before. We stay calm, we don't draw attention, we can move right through them."

"They're in the house, they're making noise." Michonne stated. "More are coming."

I nodded my head, "we have to — there's no other way. We either stay here and die or fight our way out." I glanced around the group then looked towards Rick, placing my hand over his so he knew I was with him. "And I don't plan on losing our kids."

Rick nodded knowingly as him and Michonne started splitting open the walkers stomaches, pulling out their insides with their hands.

"What about Deanna?" Gabriel spoke up with a pile of sheets in his grasp.

My gaze fell down onto the floor, my eyes closing briefly before I slowly stood to my feet. "I can do it — "

"No," Michonne spoke up and stood beside me now. "I'll do it— it's okay." I looked over at her and slightly smiled, holding my hand out towards Gabriel then taking the blankets in my own grasp.

I started to cut out holes for our heads, tossing everyone each a sheet as Rick started to apply blood and guts to their bodies.

Jessie did her own before helping Ron and her other boy Sam get prepared. My focus was on Carl before turning to Rick, the both of us helping each other cover up.

The awful smell of the dead never got any easier, but it helped to put our focus onto something else to distract ourselves.

"You can do this," Rick whispered down to me as I helped rub more blood over his chest and shoulders. "You're stronger than me, you always have been."

I looked up at him and shook my head, my fingers slightly fisting the sheet covering his body. "I'm stronger with you," I stated gently before turning back to the bodies to finish covering myself.

"Sienna." I turned to face Michonne, who was holding out a piece of paper folded up neatly in my direction. I questionably took the piece of paper, motioning to open it until she caught my wrist gently. "Read it after all of this is over."

I gazed up at my friend and slowly nodded before tucking the piece of paper into my back pocket. "Okay."

Rick suddenly came out of the room with Judith in his hands. I swallowed nervously and helped Carl tuck her under his sheet where he put her in the little baby carrier.

Rick was the first to walk downstairs, moving the couch to the right side as I followed behind with Carl right behind me.

We didn't dare make a sound or any sudden movements. I couldn't deny the way my heart was racing against my chest, causing me to feel light on my toes from the anxiety growing in my system. But as Rick said, it would work, because once we started shuffling our way through the living room and to the front door; not a single walker bothered us.

We started walking out onto the porch and I grabbed for Ricks and Carl's hands, holding onto both of them tightly as we started to form a line out the door.

My gaze shifted back and forth between the dead, our pace moving at a slow speed to keep us from standing out.

The sun was getting low quickly, giving us little room to be able to see much as we continued making our way through the crowd of walkers in silence. Just every now and then did we glance behind us to make sure other were okay and didn't fall out of line.

We started to make our way towards the right where the small pond was, coming to a stop in a small circle while we watched our surrounding. "All right, new plan," Rick whispered as he turned to face us. "Flares from a few guns aren't enough. Too many walkers, too spread out. We're not going to the armory."

"What do you have in mind?" I whispered gently.

Rick glanced down at me and nodded towards the distance. "We need our vehicles back at the quarry. All of us drive. We'll need to round em up. We leave, we come back." I turned my gaze away from Rick and looked around the scene, pondering the idea before I looked back up at him again. "We'll do it, but Judith — she's not going to make that. It's too risky—"

"I'll take her," Gabriel spoke up. Rick and I quickly turned to the man as his stare flickered back and forth between us. "Keep her safe in my church until you all lead the walkers away."

"Can you do this?" Michonne suddenly spoke up in a hushed tone. Gabriel looked over at her and nodded. "I'm supposed to. I have to."

I inhaled a shaky, yet panicked breath, as I watched Carl lift his sheet and help hand Judith over to Gabriel. My heart pounded against my chest anxiously as Gabriel gently hushed her while holding her into his arms. Tears started to form in my eyes when I heard her little whines, taking a step in front of Gabriel to get his attention.

"Please—take care of her. Take care of my baby," I whispered with worry, feeling Rick hold onto my hand now. "Please don't let anything happen to her." I was begging, pleading with this man that I had little trust in to protect our daughter with his life.

She had to make it. If it was going to be anyone in this world to live, it had to be Judith and Carl.

Gabriel looked down at me, nodding his head as he responded firmly to me. "I swear to god I won't let anything happen to her."

I took a small step backwards while I nodded as Jessie grabbed onto her younger son. "Take Sam," she suggested but he declined. "Yes, Sam, it'll be safer." She placed her hands on his shoulders as he looked at her with wide eyes. "I'm not leaving you. I'm not." He gave her a quick firm nod before she could protest. "I can keep going. Please."

"I'm going to keep her safe," Gabriel spoke softly, making eye contact with Rick and I before he started to make his way towards the church.

I gripped onto Rick's hand tightly as Jessie turned to us, her hand now resting on my shoulder. "He's going to make it, okay?"

Rick and I nodded her heads, a heavy sigh escaping my lips while Rick stuck out his free hand and encouraged Sam to take it while I led the line through the streets.

The sun was now set and darkness was weighing on our shoulders as we tried to make our way through the crowded streets.

Still no sound to be made or any dramatic changes that could cause a stir between us and the walkers.

Everything was peaceful for the time being, my grasp in Ricks hand never loosened as we made a slow beeline between the walkers.

We were so close to the opening of Alexandria that I could start pushing the weight off my shoulders, but suddenly Rick tugged on me to stop and I turned around to see Sam frozen in place.

I furrowed my eyebrows and stepped closer to Rick as Jessie tried to get her son's attention with her soothing voice. "Sam? Come on — come on." She gently tugged his hand to continue moving forward but he didn't budge from his spot. "Sweetheart? Sam."

I quickly glanced around our surroundings before leaning forward and encouraging him to keep going. "Sam, we're almost there. Just a bit more," I whispered and Jessie nodded her head agreeing. "Come on, Sam."

He slowly started to shake his head as his face twisted with emotions. It was dark but I could slightly tell the single tear that started to roll down his cheek.

"Sam, just look at mom." Ron spoke up now trying to get his brothers attention.

"I need you to come with me," Jessie's voice was a bit higher now, tugging on his hand a bit harder to try and snap him out of his scared like state.

But his feet were planted on the ground, a small sob escaping his lips as he shook his head quickly. His mouth opened as he was ready to speak, cry out to his mom but his words were cut short when a walker suddenly came to his side and bit down on his shoulder.

His screams started to echo through town as more walkers came to tackle him down. My hand flew up towards my mouth in shock as Jessie screamed out from the top of her lungs. "Jessie!" I practically yelped, Carl immediately trying to get her away but her grasp never dropped from Sam even though he was dying.

"We have to go!" Carl whispered.

But in a flash our plan of survival getting out of Alexandria was immediately shut down when a walker came up behind Jessie, wrapping its arms around her and biting down on her neck.

Her screams were now the next thing loud enough to hear across the town, my eyes flying open as Carl started to call out to Rick. Her hand still grasped onto his, not giving him a chance to let go until Rick pulled out his axe and started cutting off Jessie's hand.

Carl fell backwards into Michonne and I quickly moved Rick away from the mess that was being made from Jessie's body. Carl stood up and my gaze was focused on him until we heard the clicking of a gun right in front of us.

It was Ron that had picked up Carl's gun, holding it in his shaky grasp and pointing it towards Ricks direction.

"You—"

I slowly held up my hands in a shaky matter, trying to get Ron's attention while swallowing the lump down my throat. "Ron— you don't have to do this. Lets just get out of here, we have to g—"

From behind him, Michonne lifted her sword and drove it into his heart from behind but his finger already on the trigger had squeezed and released a bullet into the air.

I flinched at the sound, looking at Michonne while breathing heavily then watching Ron's body drop to the ground.

"Dad?"

When I looked back up towards Carl, I could see his right eye damaged and bloody from the gunshot. A nauseous feeling quickly climbed up my throat from the sight and the force of adrenaline climbing up my back.

His body fell to the ground and I let out a choked sobbed, my fingers now reaching out for him before Rick leaned down at picked him into his arms.

"Michonne!" I whispered in panic and she immediately grabbed my hand, pulling me with her as we raced behind Rick. Her free hand still held her sword as she swung it around like it was a knife cutting butter.

Bodies dropped around us as she made a pathway for Rick and Carl, all the way towards the infirmary.

The door to the house opened up and Rick was the first to run inside with me following after and Michonne right behind. "This is a gunshot?!" Denis asked, shutting the door behind us and guiding Rick to place Carl on the counter.

"Handgun! Close range," Michonne responded quickly as I started to pull the sheet over my head and kicking it to the side.

"Please save him," Rick whispered, stumbling backwards until I started to pull his own sheet over his body before catching his face in my hands. "Rick — my love, look at me." His eyes were still trained on Carl's until I could get him to meet my gaze. My dirty and bloody fingers softly caressing his face, gently pushing some of his hair out of his eyes. "Focus on me."

It was like my voice was distant for him or silenced. He kept looking back towards Carl as everyone rushed around us until he took a step backwards and away from my hold. He rubbed his face with his hand and started walking back towards the door.

I looked behind me towards Carl then looked around for Michonne, I heard the door open behind me and panic started to rise in my chest. "Michonne! I can't— he," I shook my head, unable to get my words out as I looked down at Carl, my hand coming up to cover my mouth.

I needed to be out there with Rick, but I needed to be here with Carl too. "I'll go out! I can help Rick," Michonne insisted, rushing up to me with her hands on my shoulders. "You help Denis. I'll get Rick, okay? I'll get him." She took a step back and pulled out her sword.

"He's taking them all on," Aaron spoke up. "We have to go get him!"

I took a stand towards Carl's body, my fingers fumbling to pick up the thread for Denis and continue where Michonne left off. "Sienna, breathe." Denis tried to calm me down, her eyes meeting my glossy gaze and giving me a single nod.

Aaron, Spencer, and Heath chased after Michonne outside and I slowly leaned down to press a small kiss on Carl's forehead. "I'm going to save him, I promise." Denis was working swiftly but carefully to stitch up what she could from his wound, my hands still continuing to shake while I held the stitch.

I could hear the gunshots from outside, the chaos between our people and the walkers while I kept my gaze trained on Carl.

"I need your help cleaning, take this," Denis handed me some white gauze and started to pour herself a cup of alcohol. "Be very careful on the socket, only the outer area. Clean the blood so it doesn't get infected."

I nodded my head and did exactly what she described for me to do, keeping my hands as steady as I possibly could for Carl's sake. As I looked at his wound and watched his shortness of breath while he laid there asleep, tears formed in my arms from the sight of him.

"He can't die," I muttered, looking up at Denis and letting out a choked sob. "He can't die, I promised—I promised her, he can't—"

Denis furrowed her eyebrows but then quickly shook her head, placing her hand over my shoulder and slightly shook it. "Sienna listen to me, stay strong. Focus. You can do this — for Carl. For him."

A loud explosion went off from outside and the both of us flinch, jumping in our spot before turning around and seeing a large light shining through the covered windows.

I furrowed my eyebrows and quickly used my arm to wipe the tears from my cheeks before jogging over to get a look outside.

A small hiccup escaped my throat as I looked back towards Denis who continued working on Carl. "Everyone's fighting back — there's a fire coming from the pond. They're drawing them out, they're killing them." A small smile crept on Denis lips, a small nod of her head before she ushered me back over. "While they're doing their part — let's do ours and save your son okay?" Her eyebrow raised questionably and I took a deep breath, squaring up my shoulders to get myself back into focus.

By sunrise the town of Alexandria finally fell quiet. The herd that surrounded our home was down, either dead lying on the streets or burned alive thanks to Daryl, Sasha, and Abraham.

Glenn was alive and reunited with my sister, her safe and sound along side of Enid.

We lost people, a lot of people, but there was still enough of us left to keep going. A reminder as to why we were still fighting so hard to survive. For Carl — and Judith.

I was sitting in a chair beside Rick, watching over Carl's sleeping figure as he was finally resting in a soft bed after his surgery. Michonne was standing by the front door with Judith in her arms, cradling her and keeping her occupied while we sat with her brother.

I wiped my tears away several times, my now clean hands rubbing against my face tiredly as Rick leaned forward and held onto Carl's own. "I was wrong," he spoke softly. "I thought after living behind these walls for so long that — maybe they couldn't learn." I looked at Rick and gently put my arms around his back before leaning my head against his shoulder. "But today, I saw what they could do — what we could do, if we work together." He continued in a whispered tone. "We'll rebuild the walls, we'll expand the walls. There will be more. There's gotta be more." I turned my face and placed a gentle kiss on his shoulder, gently rubbing his back with my fingers for comfort. "Everything Deanna was talking about — is possible. It's all possible I see that now."

I leaned backwards and off of his shoulder, brushing my hair back with my fingers before taking his hand into mine, gently rubbing the top of it with my thumb. "We can do that, we can do all of that." I agreed and Rick turned his gaze towards me. "We'll rebuild this home — give Carl and Judith a proper home. Make safe for them and build them a future." I reached up and gently pushed some hair from his eyes, slightly nodding my head as he kept his eyes locked on mine. "As long as we have each other, we can still do this."

"For them," Rick whispered in response.

"For them," I agreed before leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss on his forehead.

Judith made a soft noise and our gaze flickered towards her still in Michonne's arms. I remembered what was given to me earlier, from Deanna — deciding now was the proper time to read it.

I fished the crumbled paper out of my pocket and carefully unfolded it without causing further damage.

"What do you think it's about?" Rick questioned.

I shrugged my shoulder, my eyes briefly lingering across the large paragraph written in messy handwriting before reading out loud from the beginning. "Sienna, I want to start off by thanking you for being open minded from the very beginning. Even during your interview you displayed a lot of emotions that I deemed valuable for the community. I've seen you laugh around your family, protect them with every bated breath — and even promise to keep those in Alexandria safe." My heart swelled against my chest, fresh tears forming in my eyes at her kind words and I was beginning to wonder when she decided to write this. "I love my children, I love my husband, I love what we created here to keep everyone alive. You're a natural born leader, someone who doesn't depend on their emotions to make their decisions but always acts upon the best intentions. I interviewed every single person from your group and all of them had something specific to say about you."

Rick reached over and placed his hand on my back, rubbing it tenderly before leaning over to kiss the side of my face while I continued. "You've taught all of them not to only take but to give in return. You are their friend, family, and lover. The decision to accept you as their leader was not solely based off your relationship with Rick, but because the tenderness in your heart proved to them that you were worthy enough to lead the pack. Which is why i'm entrusting my dearest Alexandria to you. Rebuild, replenish, repair all that is broken and turn it into what it was meant to be. Make Alexandria the place people call home and willingly travel for — there will be no other safe place like this. I'm giving you the key to my heart, this community, and my people to care for. It's my time to go, but it's your time to lead. Do only what you believe is right. Okay, Sienna Grimes?"

The piece of paper trembled in my grasp and I watched a few tears slip onto the parchment — slightly smearing some of the ink.

My body naturally leaned closer towards Rick's as he willingly wrapped an arm around my shoulders. Michonne was silently smiling from the brief glimpse I took of her before turning back to Carl. His sleeping figure the most peaceful I've seen in a long time and that's when every emotion in my body settled.

Everything I do now and moving forward, was for them.