meanstreak
rick grimes 𝘹 fem!𝘰𝘤
© WANDARYEN ──── 2024

My eyes fluttered open and I was immediately greeted by the sun peaking through the windows of Hilltop. My body ached against the small bed I must've been resting on for hours because the moment I move, every bone in my body cracked.

"Ow," I muttered tiredly, shifting myself against the bed to sit up before pausing with a wince. The area Negan stabbed me hissed angrily — still sore after all the treatment I must've gotten. A white medical wrap was tied around my lower abdomen and my clothes were replaced entirely.

Panic started settling in when I began to remember everything that's happened in the past 12 hours.

I tried to sit up again, ignoring the burning pain in my stomach until Dr. Carson rand over from across the trailer and gently placed his hand on my shoulder. "Sienna, it's okay. You're safe." My gaze lifted towards his. "Take it easy, you've been out for a few hours."

I nervously swallowed the thick lump down my throat that managed to form in just a few seconds. "My sister —- where is my sister?"

"She's okay," he promised while taking a seat back on the stool beside the bed. "Her and the baby are okay, I promise."

I inhaled deeply while slowly swinging my legs over the side of the bed. "I have to go — I have to — " I tried to stand up but his grip on my shoulders slightly tightened; worry flickering across his face. "Sienna wait, we need to talk." His head tilted to the side with his eyebrows slightly raised, instituting that the conversation was important.

I exhaled softly and nodded, "about what?"

He lowered his hands to his lap with his eyes shifting towards the floor momentarily. "I — don't know how to ask this." I furrowed my eyebrows and slightly shook my head in confusion. "Have you noticed any weird feelings lately? Sickness or anything?" His question came out with caution. "Your stab wound was actually pretty minor, you lost blood but it wasn't serve." Carson began to explain. "Not entirely sure if it counts but he purposely stabbed you in an area that wouldn't kill you."

"Fantastic," I muttered while keeping my gaze glued to the doctor.

"But you fainted and your body seemed to go into some kind of shock. Now, Rick stated this happened before. During the compound you got sick and fainted. Sienna," he spoke softly. "You're pregnant." I knew where he was going with this, but the reality that this was all true and that the pregnancy stick wasn't just a fluke caused me to inhale sharply. "Sienna," Carson spoke softly. I stared blankly at him for a moment, unable to form a sentence with the words twirling around in my head. "I did an ultrasound while you were sleeping. You're two months pregnant — going on three."

I shifted against the bed, flinching slightly before hovering my hand over my stomach. If Carson was going to be the person taking care of Maggie and I — then I needed to be honest with him.

"I knew about the pregnancy," I admitted softly, my gaze flickering somewhere on the floor his face. "I missed my period and the morning sickness hit me like a brick the other day. I've been fainting a lot, it seems like, and — "

Dr. Carson leaned his elbows on his legs, hunching forward. "Stress. It will do that to you. And it'll get worse during your pregnancy, which is why it's extremely important for you to avoid stressful situations for the sake of your child."

I wanted to roll my eyes in response. Avoiding stressful situations at this current time seemed utterly impossible — but I also knew it was true. Things I've learned from my father and our horses on the farm, we had to keep an eye on them every single day to make sure they lived an easy life during pregnancy.

"I know it's a little redundant," he laughed breathlessly. Him applying humor to the situation actually eased me a little. "Everything that's happened is — horrific. But the fact all of you have made it this far is pretty clear on how strong you are." I nodded my head knowingly. "But bringing up some concern — is Rick aware of your pregnancy?"

I looked at the doctor again and slowly shook my head, guilt washing over me. "I haven't had the chance yet. I was going to, before Maggie grew ill and then out on the road — " I inhaled slowly to relax my nerves. "He doesn't know."

Dr. Carson placed a reassuring hand on my wrist, giving it a lot squeeze. "I've met him and he seems like a good honest man. Would you like me to be here when you inform him? Or — I could tell him that I discovered — "

"No," I cut him off quickly. "No, I should be the one to do it. I need to be honest with him."

A smile slowly stretched across his face. "That's good. I'll do whatever makes you comfortable." He stood up from the stool, picking it up and slowly moving it to the other side. "I'll go get him."

I nervously nodded, "okay."

He grabbed his metal notepad and exited the trailer. The door softly closed behind him and I watched his figure slowly disappear through the window.

I carefully pulled myself off the bed. The burn in my belly fighting against me but if I didn't get up any time soon, then my entire body would become mummified. I was stiff and it was becoming too uncomfortable before I started to carefully stretch my limbs.

There was a tall standing mirror across from me and I slowly made my way over, positioning myself in front of it. Instead of focusing on my obvious disgusting features from severely crying for hours — my gaze slowly drifted down my body and fell over my stomach.

The large green shirt covering my body was probably meant for men, but my first complaint wasn't going to be about fashion choices and what Hilltop carried for visitors.

I pinched the hem of my shirt and lifted it above my covered wound. No blood was showing, which meant I was stitched up and healthy, just like Dr. Carson promised.

I slowly shifted and faced the mirror sideways. The gaze on my stomach remained and I curiously lifted my hand, hovering it over the wrap to see if it was visible I was carrying a child. Two months was too soon — but the fact there was actually something growing inside me felt surreal.

The front door of the trailer opened with haste and I quickly dropped my shirt when Rick appeared in my peripheral vision. Before I could even open my mouth and greet him, it took him about five paces before he reached me.

His body nearly crushed mine with how tightly he embraced me. I wanted to cry out from the pain in my stomach but the warmth of his touch and having him hold me was everything I needed. It was enough to subdue the pain momentarily.

I wrapped my arms around his waist, tightly gripping the back of his shirt and I could've sworn I felt his chest heave against mine like he was choking back a sob.

He gently stroked the back of my head — soothing down my hair and I welcomed the comfort instantly.

"I'm so sorry." His nose nudged against the side of my face and I carefully turned my head to gaze up at him. His clothes were changed and he was clean, but the redness that surrounded his eyes told me he had been crying through it all while I slept.

I gently placed my hand on his cheek and he voluntarily leaned into it. "Carl?" I asked, my voice barely raising higher than a whisper.

"Worried about you." He kissed my palm before leaning his forehead against mine.

I bit down on my bottom lip, "I heard what he called me — earlier," I lifted my gaze towards his. "Did he mean it? He really meant it?"

A smile slowly spread across his face as he nodded reassuringly. "He meant it."

I nodded my head before completely pulling away from his embrace, my hands coming up to rub my tiredly. "What's wrong?" His voice was crossed with worry but I kept my hands over my face, fresh tears forming behind my eyelids. "Hey," he softly whispered while reaching for my wrists. "What is it?" He forced my hands away from my face and his expression shifted with concern.

I licked my bottom lip, bringing back the moisture that disappeared before forcing my gaze towards the wall beside him. "I wanted to tell you the other day, before everything happened — I didn't mean to hold it back for so long."

His head tilted out the corner of my eye. "Hold back what? What is it?"

"I'm pregnant." I held in a heavy breath and forced myself to look at him again when he didn't respond. Almost as if every cell in his body fell completely still and his arms fell to his sides.

His eyes slowly faltered down towards my stomach before looking at my face again. I nodded my head, confirming with him that I was speaking the truth.

For a split second I thought he was going to be upset — maybe angry that I didn't tell him sooner. The silence between was becoming as painful as the wound on my stomach, until he suddenly collapsed on his knees right in front of me.

I quickly reached out for him, murmuring his name in confusion but watched as he placed his hands upon my waist. His head tilted forward, lightly fell against the center of my stomach and I watched his shoulders began to shake. I didn't understand until I heard the first sniffle, followed by a broken sob that nearly knocked the wind out of me.

I slowly kneeled down in front of him with my own tears collecting again. His hands remained over my waist but I lifted his chin to capture his gaze — which was filled with devastating worry. As if he was the bad guy — like he was blaming himself for everything that took place the past twelve hours.

"Rick," I spoke softly, cradling his face in my hands. "It's okay." I pulled him closer and his head immediately fell into my shoulder — causing me to wrap my arms around him protectively.

He cried hard. His tears seeping into my shirt and it was the first I've seen him this broken down since Lori died, but I understood why.

I wasn't the only person in the world that worried about failing everyone around me.

"I put you both in danger," he spoke into my shoulder. I didn't respond, no amount of words could change the fact he was hurting heavily — so I held him tighter, closer.

I gripped the back of his shirt and tucked my head into his neck. I wanted to provide to him the same way he always provided to me when I needed someone.

Not just words of encouragement but the physical touch that he was here with me.

We lifted our heads and with one of his hands hovering over my stomach, the other tucked some hair behind my ear. Tears stained his cheeks and his blue eyes bore heavily into mine. "I love you so much," he tilted his head slightly. "I love you, Sienna. Unconditionally — you will never truly understand."

I nodded my head knowingly. "I love you, Rick."

I entered the Hilltop house with silence, taking the long way up the stairs into one of the guest bedrooms where Maggie was currently staying in for rest.

I was going to return with the others back to Alexandria, but I wanted Maggie to remain here. I needed to know she was going to be safe and well tended to by Dr. Carson. I was supposed to return soon with another checkup on my wound and the baby — but for now I needed to go home.

I softly knocked on the bedroom door before making my entrance — taking in the sight of my sister lying peacefully on the bed, surrounded by blankets and water to stay hydrated.

Maggie noticed my presence and immediately sat up in bed, our gaze connecting and I immediately felt like I was going to crumble. The events flashed through my mind and all I could see was Glenn — all I could hear was my sister's cries. It was haunting.

"I — " I couldn't get the words out. They were lodged in my throat as if someone had a tight grip around my neck, forcing me to remain silent.

She tilted her head to the side before pulling back the comforter and inviting me into bed with her. "It's okay," her voice reached out for me and I couldn't stop myself from climbing into bed beside her.

I choked on a small sob curling up my throat and we immediately embraced one another tightly.

"We're going to be okay," Maggie promised in whisper.

"I couldn't protect you," I shook my head, covering my mouth with my hand as I continued to cry. "I can't protect you from all this heartbreak. How am I supposed to keep us together if I can't protect you?"

Maggie shook her head before, gently using her sleeve to wipe the tears off my cheeks. "Sienna you do more than enough already."

I inhaled a shaky breath, sitting up completely while wiping the rest of the tears away with my hands. "You're staying here. You're not coming back with us for now — I want you to stay here to rest."

She didn't protect, thankfully. "Okay," she slightly smiled. "I'll recover and come back when I can."

"Take all the time you need." I leaned down and kissed the top of head before leaning my forehead against her own. "I love you, Maggie." I wanted to be more encouraging for my sister but I was afraid to make promises I couldn't keep. I didn't want to lie to her — but I wanted her to know that I was going to fight through this for us.

"I'm going to kill him," I murmured against her skin after planting another kiss on her head. "For us." I carefully moved off the bed and exited the room where both Rick and Carl waited patiently for me.

Rick perked up, leaning off the wall with his hands settled on his waist. "Ready?"

I nodded slowly, making my way towards them while threading my arm under his, my gaze falling down on Carl. He was sitting in a chair with his hat in his hands. "There's something we have to tell you," I spoke softly, earning his attention.

"What is it?"

I felt Rick pull me closer into his body and I offered a small but promising smile towards Carl. "I'm pregnant."

He jumped up from the chair — his gaze flickering between Rick and I quickly before smiling wide. "Really?" I nodded my head. "I'm going to be a big brother again?"

"Yeah, son." Rick responded gently.

"So, there always is a silver lining," Carl nodded. "This has to mean something." I watched him turn away and the three of us began walking downstairs. "Right?" He continued while glancing at us from over his shoulder. "There's still hope."

I looked up at Rick and his eyes immediately found my own. Silence forming between us before he leaned down and kissed the spot between my eyebrows.