meanstreak
rick grimes 𝘹 fem!𝘰𝘤
© WANDARYEN ──── 2024

"She's going to want to help – that's the kind of person she is." Rick slowly lifted his gaze off the ground and allowed his eyes to linger around the group. "I won't ask anyone to watch over my wife, she's very capable of taking care of herself but the things happening lately are taking a toll on her." His fingers started anxiously toying with the watch on his wrist. "It's making her more sick. I can't have her out there doing what we normally do and I can't have her trying to take care of everyone else. She needs to rest."

Several people nodded amongst the group. Lila, who stood next to her husband, suddenly raised her hand. "I would like to take on that responsibility — to watch after her, I mean. If that's alright."

Rick slowly shook his head. "There's no need. I would be grateful if someone could keep an eye on her but there's no need — "

"Please," she insisted kindly. "To be honest, I still feel partly guilty about her accident. She was supposed to meet up with Drew and I – that never happened. I would like to repay you for that."

Rick bowed his head for a moment before nodding, accepting her offer. "Thank you, that's much appreciated." He lifted his hand and gestured towards Aaron within the crowd. "I'm taking Aaron out to look for more supplies, Olivia is going to help with Judith and Carl — I should be back before the day is over."

"I'd like to come along and help." Drew was raising his hand up high, nodding towards Rick. "I know a spot or two that might be worth checking out if they haven't been picked through yet."

"That would be helpful, thank you." Rick shifted on his feet and looked back at the house behind him. "I left her a note stating where and who I'll be traveling with. If you come across her and she's angry with me – well, tell her there's strawberries in the fridge. She'll like that."

Some folks in the crowd laughed, which caused him to look towards the ground and smile sheepishly. Anxiety was weighing on his heart to leave her behind, but he figured she'd be safer in Alexandria than out on the road with her and his unborn child's life in danger.

I rolled over directly into a piece of paper awaiting for me on Rick's side of our makeshift bed. After the saviors took everything, including our mattresses, he collected as many blankets as possible and folded them on the floor. It wasn't much, but the fact he made my side thicker compared to his was enough to keep me from complaining.

I stretched my arm out across the bed, anticipating to feel him beside me but only heard a crinkling noise coming from a piece of parchment.

"Rick?" My voice cracked from exhaustion but nevertheless I forced myself to open my eyes. Bedroom empty, bathroom silent — nothing echoed through the halls just yet which told me I was home alone for the time being.

I rolled over on my back with the note and held it above my face so I could read the message that was intended for me to find. Rick's handwriting was threaded across in blue ink — stating he would be back later in the day with supplies for Negan.

I rolled over on my side with haste and peered towards the small alarm clock. It was past lunch, already going on towards two p.m. which told me I slept the entire morning away.

"Oh my God," I muttered under my breath, pulling the blankets back and jumping to my feet. Judith's monitor was gone, which meant someone was watching her. My knife laid on the dresser across the room right next to the bowl Rick and I usually placed our jewelry.

The first thing I did was slip on my locket before changing out of my comfortable clothing and switch into something for the day.

I combed my hair and brushed my teeth as quickly as my body would allow me, but all I could think about was the amount of morning chores I've missed. I had no idea who was in Alexandria, who left, who was doing what — part of me wanted to be angry with Rick for not waking me up, but the other part noticed how particularly energized I was after sleeping in.

I jogged down the stairs while pulling my hair back into a quick messy bun. "Carl?" Olivia's cries suddenly carried throughout the house and my heart hammered against my chest. "Carl!?" My feet slid across the hardwood floor before stopping abruptly when Negan spun around to face me — still carrying that same smirk I desperately wanted to smack off his face.

"Well! Well! Well!" His arms stretched out and my eyes flickered towards Carl who silently stood behind his large figure. The first thing I noticed was that his bandage was gone, including his hat — which caused my blood to begin to boil. "What?" Negan chuckled. "No, 'hi, how are ya?' Just looking like someone pissed in your cereal this morning? I'd assume you weren't a morning person but actually – it's two o'clock in the afternoon and you missed breakfast!"

I nervously gestured towards Carl without taking my gaze off Negan. "What's going on here? What did you do to him?"

Negan raised his eyebrows quickly. "What did I do to him? Oh," he chuckled again. "I'd take a seat at the table because I got one hell of a story to tell you." He pointed his bat towards the living room and I reluctantly followed with him and Carl trailing behind me. "Your son here managed to sneak into my neck of the woods, shoot down some of my men, and threaten to kill me."

I quickly spun around and narrowed my eyes at Carl, in which he retreated from my glare by bowing his head.

Negan awkwardly leaned backwards and whispered towards Carl from over his shoulder. "Shit kid, I'd be scared if I were you."  He adjusts his position and stands up straight again before shuffling towards me. "Actually, I brought him back home safe and sound — didn't even touch a single strand on that emo head of his. You should thank me for that."

I kept my gaze fixated on Carl, frustration curling inside me but I couldn't properly scold him for it right now.

Out of the corner of my eye, Negan reached for my necklace and I visibly flinched backwards expecting him to raise a hand. He seemed offended by my reaction by holding both of his hands up in defense. "Relax, mom, was just checking out your fine jewelry here."

He reached forward again, this time more slow, and opened the locket with one hand. "Well, look at that." He smiled wide, slowly bobbing his head. "Family portraits just like the old days. We should take one together, too, and frame it for the house. Which reminds me!" He closed the locket and stepped backwards so he could position himself between Carl and I. "I want to play house! I want to be Rick for the day and you can be my wife."

I arched my eyebrow at the man but remained silent as he chuckled. "What? Isn't that what you already do here in this fancy town?" He clasped his hands together. "Now I know I just made Olivia fetch us some lemonade but I'm kind of feeling a cup of coffee first — why don't you make us both a cup while our son here gives me a tour of the house." He tilted his head towards the side and his lips curled up into a smirk. "Honey."

"Okay." It was all I could manage to say without smacking that smirk off his face. "Very compliant, I like it." He giggled like a child, watching me walk towards the kitchen before grabbing my bicep. "Hey — no kiss on the cheek for your dear husband?"

I blinked up at him silently before removing myself from his grasp and entering the kitchen.

"Tough crowd," he muttered before slapping his hand against Carl's back. "Okay, kid. Give me the grand tour!"

I stood in front of the coffee machine for a solid ten minutes, even after it finished brewing, with my eyes staring blankly at the mugs. I could hear Negan talking to Judith — right after Carl tried to convince him that her bedroom was just storage and the water heater.

My anxiety was at an all time high and it was pushing right up against my stomach. I wasn't going to be able to choke down any more vomit for the next several months if my body wasn't going to be strong enough to hold it down. I never imagined morning sickness to be this bad — but it didn't help that Negan was here touching my children and purposely giving them nightmares.

I jumped towards the trashcan and barreled over, throwing up straight acid and whatever was left in my stomach from the previous night.

"God damn, that's disgusting." I blindingly reached for a hand towel and used it to wipe my mouth, purposely ignoring his commentary. "I know you're pregnant and all, but I can't shake the feeling that you get sick just looking at me."

"That too," I bravely muttered while reeling back from the trash can. I expected to only see him and Carl standing before me, but he currently held Judith in his arms and I nearly tumbled over. "Judith," I breathed out her name softly, stretching my hand out towards her.

Negan furrowed his eyebrows with a pout and smacked my hand away. "Hey, it's my turn to hold the baby." She instinctively reached out for me with her small hands and I nearly wept. "Don't worry, darling. Mommy is going to follow us everywhere we go today." He started walking towards the front door, "let's go sit outside like a family – bring me my cup of coffee won't you honey?"

I felt Carl's gaze burning a hole into the side of my head. I gestured for him to follow Negan onto the porch before grabbing only his mug and meeting outside.

"Here you go, right here." Negan patted a chair to his right while Carl took the chair to his left. He carefully placed Judith on his lap and reached for the coffee. "Did you add milk and sugar? I like it a little sweet — not too bitter like my heart."

I slowly nodded my head after handing him the mug. My eyes were fixated on Judith, who was staring back at me but relaxed against Negan's chest. She had no idea who he was — and it killed me inside.

"Oh, this little girl is precious." He chuckled softly before waving towards someone walking past our house. "Hey, neighbor! Why don't you come by later? We might grill out." He chuckled again, taking a sip from his coffee then handing me the mug. I placed it down on the glass table between us and watched him pull Judith away from his chest so he could peer into her sweet eyes. "Oh, I like it here — mhm. I might just have to stay here."

My gaze quickly flickered towards the porch, still listening to him when he brought his attention towards my son. "You know, I was thinking about what you said earlier, Carl. Maybe it is stupid keeping you and your dad alive." I quickly turned my head and watched him shrug casually. "I mean, why am I trying so hard? Maybe I should just bury you both down in one of those flower beds. Huh?" He smiled wide towards Judith. "And then I could just settle into the suburbs. What do you think about that?"

"Ah. Damn, that smells good." Negan brought the wooden spoon to his lips, taking a small taste of the pasta sauce the three of us created together. I eyed him curiously but with no emotion shown on my face. He was clearly the only one entertained by this entire situation.

"Mmm!" He sighed happily before turning to Carl. "Want a taste?"

My eyes flickered towards my son, who was in the middle of rolling out dough for the biscuits. When he only stared at Negan blankly, the man chuckled and stepped back towards the stove. "Okay." He nudged me with his elbow next, lifting the meat sauce towards me and I immediately shook my head.

My nose scrunched slightly at the smell. I remember when we captured the deer out in the woods — how the smell was so pungent while they skinned and mashed the meat together. It was the perfect amount to make ground meat for everybody — but I haven't been able to touch it just yet.

"Ah, right, pregnancy. That's a damn shame." He clicked his tongue before going back to stirring the sauce. "You guys cook a lot here?"

"When we can." I focused my gaze back down on the noodles, anticipating when they would be done so I could finally sit down.

I felt Negan's gaze burning a hole in the side of my head, which forced me to look up and meet his frustrated glare. "You two don't know how to hold a conversation or what? It's only ever two or three syllables with you two. It's actually quite annoying."

"And so are you. You haven't stopped talking since you got here." The words came out of my mouth before I could stop myself. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Carl stopped rolling out the dough and Negan swiftly turned to me fully. "You know," he took a step towards me and I pulled away from the boiling noodles. My heart nearly seized against my chest when I noticed just how close he was standing. He forced a smile on his face — raising his hand and slowly curling it into a fist. "You really are incredibly lucky you're a woman. What I did right there," he gestured towards my stomach. "Was just a warning — a lesson if you may. But if you keep running your mouth towards me then I'm going to have to pull Rick aside and get him acquainted with the idea of being alone."

He breathed heavily through his nose on that last bit. His eyebrows rose slightly, "am I making myself clear?"

I nodded once then pointed towards the boiling pot of water. "Your noodles are done."

His left eye twitched lightly before he dropped his hand and turned back to the stove, grumbling to himself. "I so hate that you're funny."

After Carl set the table for him, Negan, Olivia, Rick and I — we all sat down and eagerly waited for Rick's return. I was unclear where he currently was but the frustration on Negan's face was continuing to grow the longer we sat here in silence.

My Judith fell asleep in Olivia's arms, who was sitting to my left while I occupied the other head of the table facing Negan. Rick was supposed to sit between him and Olivia — across from Carl who sat next to Judith's high-chair.

Negan let out a long stretched out sigh. "I'm not waiting for your dad anymore. I don't know where the hell he is, but Lucille — " He picked up the bat from beside him and carefully placed it in Rick's chair. "Is hungry." He clasped his hands together and directed his gaze towards Carl. "Carl, pass the rolls." My gaze flickered towards him, watching him sit unmoving before Negan shrugged. "Please?"

Once lunch was thankfully over, I put Judith down for her nap and focused all my attention on doing the dishes while Negan was doing, whatever it is that he does, outside in the neighborhood. I didn't hear anyone crying — taking that as a good sign since I woke up to a panicked Olivia running out of the house.

The only thing that brought me concern was that Spencer, out of all people, was currently trying to entertain the main out front of my house for some apparent reason.

I grabbed my hoodie from off the coat rack and slipped it on before stepping outside to check on everyone. Carl and Olivia were standing on the porch — watching Spencer and Negan play a game of pool by themselves. Negan's people stood around and watched, while my group started to gather as well.

"What the hell is this?" I muttered to myself, taking a stance beside Carl by the railing. Rosita looked up at me from where she stood behind Spencer. I tilted my head questionably towards the girl but she only shrugged — insinuating she had no idea what Spencer was doing.

Negan rubbed the small bit of chalk on the tip of his pool cue while Spencer was setting up the balls within the rack. " I could never do this with Rick. He would just be standing there, scowling, giving me that annoying side-eye he gives me.

Spencer slowly lifted his gaze. "That's actually what I came to see you about. I want to talk to you about Rick."

I slowly crossed my arms over my chest, narrowing my eyes into the side of his head. Negan gazed up at me from where he stood — breathing in sharply. "All right. Talk to me, Spencer. Talk to me about Rick." He took the first hit, the white ball racing across the table to smack against the others — sending them sporadically across the green fabric.

I nervously bit down on my lower lip, forcing my gaze down the road where the entrance of Alexandria was. Come on baby, where are you?

"I get what you're trying to do here, what you're trying to build. I'm not saying I agree with your methods, but I get it." Spencer went into his bullshit accusations while Negan walked around the table and perfectly shot most of the striped balls into the corners. "You're building a network. You're making people contribute for the greater good. It makes sense. But you should know that Rick Grimes has a history of not working well with others."

"Is that so?" Negan straightened his back and turned his attention to Spencer.

He nodded, making his way to the other side of the table. "Rick wasn't the original leader here. My mom was." He used the chalk to rub against his pool cue before leaning across the table to make his shot. "She was doing a really good job of it. Then she died, not long after Rick showed up -- same with my brother, same with my dad."

Negan curiously crossed his arms after picking up his glass of liquor, tilting his head to the side. "So, everything was peachy here for -- what -- years? And then Rick shows up, and suddenly, you're an orphan?" He took a small sip before placing it down on the corner of the table with a chuckle. "That is the saddest story I've ever heard. Good thing for you ‭he's not in charge anymore."

"Doesn't matter." Spencer shook his head. "His ego's out of control. He'll find a way to screw things up, to try and do things his way, to take over. That's what he did with my mom. That's what he'll do again."

"You know," Negan gestured up towards the porch — directing a finger at me. "Sienna is a leader too. They work together, they're married right? So what do you have to say about her?"

My gaze flashed towards Spencer when he perked his head up at me. He was silent for a moment, not pulling his stare away from mine before he abruptly looked down at the table. Almost as if he were choosing his words carefully.

"They're married. I think that shows a direct line of her characterization as well."

Carl gripped the railing in front of us and I gently placed my hand on his shoulder.

Negan walked towards Spencer, taking another sip of his drink. "What exactly are you proposing be done about that?"

Spencer finally stood up straight again after hitting another ball into the hole. "I am my mother's son. I can be the leader she was. That's what this place needs." He gestured towards the group lingering behind them. "That's what you need."

Negan leaned closer to him with a smirk stretching across his lips. "So I should put you in charge -- that's what you're saying?"

"We'd be much better off."

Negan slowly paced around the pool table, mentally debating his next shot. "You know, I'm thinking, Spencer. I'm thinking how Rick threatened to kill me, how he clearly hates my guts." He raised the pool stick and poked it towards the air but in no specific spot while he spoke. "But he is out there right now, gathering shit for me to make sure I don't hurt any of the fine people that live here. He is swallowing his hate and getting shit done." He chuckled heavily and shrugged his shoulders. "That takes guts."

He shot another ball into the hole, smiling to himself at his success before placing the pool stick on top of the table. He turned to Spencer, tilting his head curiously. "And then there's you. The guy who waited for Rick to be gone so he could sneak over and talk to me to get me to do his dirty work, so he could take Rick's place." Each step he took moved him closer and closer towards Spencer — that smirk never falling from his lips. "So I got to ask -- if you wanna take over, why not just kill Rick yourself and just take over?"

Spencer's facial expression shifted almost immediately. "What? No, no. I didn't -- I don't – "

Without realizing I noticed my entire body began to shake. Something was going to happen — just by the tone of Negan's voice and the way he crowded Spencer like cattle. He wasn't there when it happened, he had no idea what kind of man Negan truly was.

I was scared — petrified. Just like the day I lost my best friend.

"You know what I'm thinking? Cause I have a guess." He leaned towards Spencer and dropped his voice low, like a whisper. "It's because you got no guts." I noticed his hand reached for his pocket and every fiber in my being went numb as I watched him pull out a knife and cut Spencer's stomach open.

"Ohh!" Negan chuckled and I quickly grabbed Carl, instinctively covering his eye with my hand while I watched Spencer's insides pour out. "How embarrassing! There they are. They were inside you the whole time!"

Olivia screamed beside us and Carl clutched onto my arm but I refused to pull away — not wanting him to see what was taking place. "You did have guts. I've never been so wrong in my whole life!" The man chuckled deeply, gesturing towards the crowd that stood in shock. "Now, someone oughta get up here and clean this mess up."

No one responded — nobody moved. My gaze was fixated on Spencer who was still bleeding out on the ground, hands holding onto his intestines. "Anyone want to finish the game?" I carefully removed my hand from Carl's face but protectively pushed him behind me. "C'mon. Anybody? I was winning!"

My heart pounded against my chest and the sound echoed through my ears. I was completely convinced that everyone outside could hear just how badly I was close to going into a heart attack.

From my peripheral vision, Rosita suddenly pulled out a gun from the back of her pants and shot directly towards Negan. A panicked wail leaving my lips the same moment he raised his bat and nudged the bullet.

Without hesitation, I shifted on my feet with desperate attempt to reach Rosita when Arat grabbed her by the neck and slammed her against the ground. "Shit! What the shit!?" Negan shouted.

Carl grabbed my arm, stopping me from moving down the steps of the porch. "You're pregnant!" He hissed in my direction, which forced me to stop and turn back to our friend.

"Shit! You just -- " Negan pointed his bat down towards Rosita. "You tried to kill me?! You shot Lucille!"

"She got in the way." She grunted from underneath Arat — who now held a knife against her throat.

My hands shook violently at my sides. Carl reached for one of them — grasping onto it tightly within his own, purposely keeping us both in place before we did something that caused the situation to get worse.

Negan paced in front of us, exhaling and inhaling sporadically before reaching down and picking up the bullet casing. "What is this? What is this?" He narrowed his eyes at the object while holding it in the air. "This little bad boy made from scratch? Look at those crimps. This was homemade!" He shifted towards Rosita again, pointing his bat in her direction. "You may be stupid, darlin', but you showed some real ingenuity here."

Olivia continued to sob beside me and the adrenaline coursing through my body made me want to snap at her to be quiet. Any other sudden movement could set this entire community ablaze.

"Arat, move that knife up out on that girl's face." The woman did what she was told, hovering the blade along Rosita's cheek. "Lucille's beautiful, smooth surface is never gonna look the same, so why should yours?!" He slowly shook his head, his upper lip curling slightly. "Unless — unless you tell me who made this."

Rosita curled her hands into fists while they rested beside her. "It was me. I made it."

Negan leaned back on his heels and chuckled. "You see, now I just think you're lying. And you lying to me now?!" I flinched when his voice reached another octave — clearly displaying deep rooted anger. "Such a shame. Arat's gonna have to cut up that pretty face. One more try."

My eyes flickered back towards Rosita who purposely leaned up and allowed the blade to drag along her cheek. "It was me."

Negan placed his hand over his chest and laughed, slowly shaking his head. "You are such a badass!" He finally turned back towards the porch and waved his bat in my general direction. "Sienna," he said with a singing tone. "As the leader — I'm expecting you to help out your friends here. And after the day we've spent together, I'd expect you not to lie to me either."

Tears welled up in my eyes and Carl's grip on my hand tightened. I quickly shook my head nervously, my voice cracking as I spoke. "I — I don't know, I don't know who made it."

His eyes slowly narrowed. "Are you telling me that you don't keep track of these fine people and what they do throughout the day?" I swallowed the thick lump in my throat — forcing it down as far as it would go. "That really is bad leadership quality right there. Maybe Spencer wasn't wrong after all." My lips parted as I watched him turn away. "Fine. Have it your way," he shrugged casually. "Arat — kill somebody."

My entire body went still as I slowly turned my gaze towards the woman. She removed the knife and pulled out her handgun, in which Rosita started screaming for her to stop. "No! It was me! No!"

Arat turned towards the porch and made eye contact with me for a split second, her gun aimed in my direction before she moved a single hair and shot Olivia dead right beside me.

Carl's scream caused me to flinch — his hand disappearing from mine as he dived down beside Olivia. I couldn't look — every hair on my body stood straight up and the familiar feeling of a wave of nausea started to overcome me.

"Rick!" Negan shouted happily. "Look, everybody, it's Rick!"

I slowly hovered my hand over my stomach, the wind being kicked out of me entirely like someone had kicked me right in the chest.

"Ah, your people are making me lose my voice doin' all this yelling." My tearful gaze flickered down towards Negan, then towards Rick and Drew were carrying Aaron — blood spilling from all parts of the man's body which only told me that their arrival was prolonged thanks to the saviors. Eric quickly took Aaron from Rick's arms, holding onto his partner with the help of Drew as Negan shuffled closer.

"We had an agreement!" Rick grunted through his teeth, moving towards Negan angrily.

Negan tilted his head to the side and smiled wide. "Rick —  how about a "thank you"?" When he didn't respond, Negan swayed his head side to side with a chuckle. "I mean, look, I know we started this relationship with me beating the holy shit out of your friends, and because of that, we're never gonna sit around and braid each other's hair or share our deepest, darkest secrets, but how about a little credit?"

He stretched his arms out wide. "I just bent over backwards to show you how reasonable I am. Your kid -- " He gestured behind him and pointed towards Carl who returned at my side. "He hid in one of my trucks and machine-gunned a bunch of my men down, and I brought him home, safe and sound." Rick's gaze finally met mine and I felt the instant need to crumble. My bottom lip quivered as I fought to keep myself from crying — covering my stomach with my arm now. "And I fed him spaghetti! Took care of your wife, played house for a little — it was actually kind of fun."

"Another one of your people — " Negan sighed heavily, like the idea actually brought him any distraught. "Well, he wanted me to kill you and put him in charge. I took him out for you. And another one, here," he gestured towards Rosita. " — she shot Lucille, trying to kill me just now, so I gave you one less mouth to feed." I briefly glanced down at Olivia, the gunshot in her cheek leaking blood down her face and dripping onto the porch.

"And by looking at her — that mouth did some major damage. Now, personally, I wouldn't have picked her to be the one to go, but Arat," he exhaled heavily with a shrug of his shoulders. "I don't know — didn't trust her." I brought my attention back to him as his gaze fixated on mine, purposely leaning in closer towards Rick. "Though, for a split second I thought she was going to kill Sienna here — that was a little scary."

Rick flickered his blue eyes towards me before turning back to Negan. "Your shit's waiting for you at the gate. Just go."

He grinned wide. "Sure thing, Rick — right after I find the guy or gal that made this bullet. Arat?"

The woman turned and thrusted her gun in Aaron and Eric's direction. Tara jumped forward, "it was me!" The gun was now pointed towards her and Eugene began to weep from behind, slowly pulling his hands from his face. "No! It wasn't it was me. It was only me."

Negan curiously turned, arching an eyebrow at Eugene. "You?" When he moved closer, Eugene's breathing picked up with panic. "It required one spent casing, one four-holed turret reloader, powder, one funnel for the powder – "

"Shut up," Negan muttered. "I believe you." He raised his bat close to his own face, closing his eyes momentarily while taking a heavy breath inwards. "Lucille, give me strength." He finally turned back to Rick and silent tears started rolling down my cheeks, no longer finding the strength to keep myself together. "I'm gonna be relieving you of your bullet maker, Rick -- that and whatever you left for me at the front gate. And however much you scavenged, it's not good enough, because you're still in a serious, serious hole after today. Let's move out!"

The saviors finally lowered their guns. Three grabbing onto Eugene and pulling him away without much hesitation.

"No! No, no!" Rosita cried. "Please, just take me! No!"

My grip on the railing loosened and my knees finally gave out. More tears collected, blurring my vision entirely while I slowly sank down onto the porch and pulled my knees against my chest to cry.

It's all I could do — with my arms wrapped around my stomach trying to comfort the very little thing growing in my body, I was already beginning to feel like the biggest failure of a mother.

Olivia and Spencers bodies were removed. Drew and Lila helped the others carry them to our community grace site. I didn't move from the porch, not even when Rick sat beside me and cradled me tightly into his arms. I couldn't take my eyes off the blood that remained in the middle of the street — the pool table still resting there untouched.

Carl went back inside to watch over Judith after she woke abruptly from her nap. Not a single soul was outside lingering near our part of town.

"I should've been here with you," Rick whispered into my hair. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left." His thumb gently caressed my cheek to collect the few tears that continued to linger down my face.

I was tired of living in fear — tired of having my friends die right in front of me. I was sick of constantly moving to find a new place to call home, something that potentially kept us out of danger for a few days. I wanted a home that would keep us out of danger forever. I didn't want to live in fear. I was tired of being sick and tired.

I finally peeled my gaze off the ground where the blood remained and turned to Rick. His gaze quickly met my own — both of our eyes sunken with tears and exhaustion. It broke my heart to see Rick this way and it was lighting a fire in my chest.

"I'm not doing this anymore," I muttered tiredly to my husband. "I'm not going to continue living in fear after I worked so hard to get us where we are now — only to have someone take it out from under us."

He bowed his head and lightly shook it. "We can't — "

"Yes, we can." I spoke sternly. "We. Because it's you and I — not one above the other. Not ever." He raised his head, fresh tears forming in his eyes and I felt the sudden need to protect him now from these challenges. "He has the numbers, more than we've ever seen, more than Woodbury. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm willing to stand beside you and help you beat this, just like we were meant to." I used my sleeve to softly wipe the tears from his face. "We've been through so much, we've done things to stay alive — to protect our family. That doesn't make us bad people, we're good people — who have had bad things happen to."

I lowered my hand and he immediately caught it with his own, lacing his fingers between mine. I shifted my body and crossed my legs so I was facing him completely, bringing our hands towards my stomach. "I want to protect our family no matter the cost — so our kids can have a good future. So, how do we do it?" I tilt my head to the side curiously, keeping my gaze locked on his own. "Do we sit here and take it? Until our community is left with nothing?" He shook his head slowly and I nodded mine. "Okay. We're the ones who get things done. You said that — we're the ones who live. That's why we need to fight, not just for us, but for Judith, Carl, our unborn, and for Alexandria — for Hilltop, all of us." I brought his hand up towards my mouth and pressed a gentle kiss across his knuckles. "God brought us together for a reason, right? This is it, this is what we were meant to do — save people. So that's exactly what we have to do."

"We can fight them — we will." I spoke gently but more affirmative. "We're going to find a way to beat them. I won't let our family fall apart and neither will you. We've come too far to let things go now. You're strong, Rick," I whispered softly.

His head leaned closer and I followed suit, allowing our foreheads to connect. "I'm stronger with you," he whispered back. "We'll go, right now, to Hilltop." I pulled my head back just as he raised his hand to hold my face. "I'm not going to let another day pass by and wait for the right moment — because it's now."

I nodded heavily in agreement. My gaze flickering upwards as I watched him stand up, but with his arms reached out for me. "Okay," I responded, taking his help with standing up from the porch. "Let's bring Michonne, Rosita, Tara, and Carl. We need our family — we need their support."

He leaned forward and firmly kissed the space between my eyebrows.

The arrival to Hilltop was the most excitement I've felt the entire week. Seeing my sister standing on top of the wall, her own little baseball cap over her hair just like Glenn pulled at my heartstrings.

The six of us stepped out of the car and Rick quickly took a stance beside me, interlocking our fingers tightly.

"Sasha! Enid!"

The gates to Hilltop slowly opened and we were immediately greeted by my sister Maggie. Sasha and Enid came running out of one of the trailers — large smiles stretching across their faces.

I kept my hand secured within Ricks, pulling him forward as I rushed towards my sister with a sense of euphoria to be reunited. Seeing her face — back to its natural beauty and entirely healthy, it eased the worry that lingered in my heart. She was okay.

"Sienna!" She cried out the moment our arms met in a death-grip like hug. I let out one happy sob into her shoulder before pulling away and taking her face in my hands. "I missed you so much," I cried, fresh tears streaming down my face.

Rick stood beside us, patiently waiting for his turn to embrace Maggie into his own arms. "You're okay?" He asked softly.

She nodded. "I'm okay. The baby's okay -- all of us." I looped my arm around her waist, pulling her closer to me as Rick bowed his head, giving her a single nod. "You were right — right from the start. You told us to get ready to fight, I didn't listen, and I couldn't." A small smile slowly stretched across my lips as my gaze lingered on my husband's face. "I can now."

Maggie placed her hands on his shoulder, giving him and I a reassuring smile before turning around. My arm around her body frame dropped and I followed her gaze towards the trailers — where Paul suddenly appeared with Daryl at his side.

My mouth fell wide open and it felt like the air got sucked out of my lungs from shock. He escaped — somehow and made it all the way to Hilltop — waiting for us to arrive. I couldn't control myself another moment longer as a piercing scream full of pure joy escaped my lips. My feet picked up before I could even fully process his presence — running directly towards him at the speed of light.

"Daryl!" My best friend, my savior, Beth's light was finally home. "Daryl!" I shouted his name as loudly as I could before jumping directly into his arms that awaited me eagerly. My legs wrapped around his waist the moment his arms caught me — the both of us stumbling backwards from the force.

I kissed the side of his face repeatedly, gently cradling his face in my hands before finally letting my feet touch the ground. I gently took one of his hands, unable to help myself with hope that it would bring him more happiness – and lightly placed it over my stomach.

His gaze flickered down towards where his hand was held with both of mine. He was crying — his bottom lip quivering from a mixture of a smile and a silent choked sob. When he lifted his gaze back to mine, I nodded eagerly with a large smile, confirming that I was in fact carrying a child.

Rick quickly pulled him in for a hug while holding the back of his neck – securing him tightly between the both of us. Daryl reached for me with one arm and used his other to wrap around Rick — the three of us huddling together in a tight circle.

I cried joyfully for the first time in days. Although it exhausted me to cry continuously — I didn't mind shedding a few tears for both of my boys.

dylan
OH AND I CRIEDDDDDD WRITING THIS REUNION. MY FAMILY. MY SHAYLAAAA