meanstreak
rick grimes 𝘹 fem!𝘰𝘤
© WANDARYEN ──── 2024

I spent my entire time alone at home with Judith while the group took a trip to visit a group of women that saved Tara's life. The distance between Alexandria and Oceanside was long — causing the group to travel out several days. They were excluded from the world, far off by the beach — away from the chaos between us, the saviors, hilltop, and the kingdom. Tara gathered us together after our deal with Jadis and the scavengers was not good enough.

Rick and I collected 63 guns from our run but it wasn't enough.

I wanted to be angry. I wanted to lash out of the group of scavengers after everything Rick and I went through. The emotional trauma I experienced in the span of two minutes because I thought he died.

Part of me remembered that 63 guns were better than 20 or just 3. It was still a lot and Jadis was willing to give us more time to seek out more weapons.

Tara explained her situation with these groups of women and her connection with them. How the saviors killed all their men and they've managed to survive completely on their own by the beach. It was impressive.

But after the day I had with Rick, I needed time to rest. I exhausted all my strength in just two days. My pregnancy sickness was kept at bay for the time being until we returned home — then it was like I couldn't stop.

Rosita looked after Judith and I. The three of us slept in the same room, sharing the same bed while Rick was gone because she knew it brought me comfort. I didn't want to be alone and neither did she.

We spent two nights talking about the future for Alexandria — the saviors, and she willingly opened up to vent about her frustrations and fears.

I didn't have all the proper answers to give her, but the fact I listened and understood where a lot of her anger came from, it seemed to have helped her fall asleep in the end. We were never close, not like Michonne and I were. She came into my life the same moment I lost Beth — it was hard to properly regulate my emotions. But we've both lost people, the same as everyone else, and I believe that's where the understanding originally comes from.

I opened up to her about Steven which might have given her the courage to talk about Abraham for the first time since he died.

We laughed and cried all in the same breath before she went on to tell me about her situation with Sasha.

The girls wanted to kill Negan — take him out at the sanctuary themselves and even ran into Eugene while they were there. They meant to do it as a team, but Sasha managed to trick Rosita and get herself trapped inside the compound alone.

We knew Negan wasn't dead, yet, but we also didn't know if Sasha was still alive. Rosita apologized to me repeatedly — ultimately blaming herself for what happened in the end.

I wanted to promise her that we could win her back, but even I understood the severity of our relationship and how that might not be possible. I couldn't be optimistic even if I tried, as much as I wanted to.

On our third night alone in Alexandria, we received a questionable visitor — something I never expected in my entire life.

"How are we going to break the news in the least awkward way possible?"

My gaze faltered from Rosita, my hand hovering over my growing belly with a shrug. "I don't think there's a way for us to avoid it. I can't only tell Rick because someone else is going to find out."

She reached up and pinched the bridge of her nose. "We should've just killed him when he arrived."

I tilted my head and offered a small smile. "I partly agree with you — but if given the opportunity, it should be Daryl."

"Heads up!" Lila shouted from the guard perch. "They're home," Drew called out after climbing down the ladder and jogging up to us. "What's the plan?"

I shook my head, the three of us walking towards the gate. "No plan. We're ripping it off like a band-aid."

"Great," Rosita mumbled as she and Drew worked together to pull open the gate. Headlights illuminating my figure immediately from the RV, a car, and Daryl's motorcycle. My stomach stirred uneasily — this time not from the growing child in my womb.

Rick was the first to run up to me in a much awaited embrace. Kissing my lips the moment he reached me then kneeling down to kiss the top of my stomach. I smiled peacefully, accepting another hug from Carl and Michonne.

"Hey, you okay?" Enid asked Rosita directly.

"Where's Sasha?" Paul appeared next, the others slowly surrounding us in one giant circle and all of their eyes falling on me.

Rosita turned her head in my direction and I nervously shifted my weight from one foot to the other. Rick's hand hovering over my stomach wasn't enough to settle the anxiety growing in my system.

"We have a visitor," I spoke softly. "Waiting in the cell." I could feel Ricks gaze burning a hole in the side of my head but I couldn't meet his gaze when I reached for his hand and guided us towards our holding apartment.

Rosita unlocked the cell door once we arrived. I stood beside Michonne and watched carefully as Daryl entered the room with Tara, Paul, and Drew.

In the shadows, Dwight slowly stood up from the ground and the reflection of the moon casted across his face — giving everyone the perfect glimpse to see who was waiting for their arrival. And much like I expected, everyone was on their toes trying to pull Daryl back.

Michonne immediately held my arms and ushered me backwards the same moment my arms wrapped around my stomach. Rick, Drew, Paul, and Tara practically jumped on Daryl to keep him from murdering Dwight.

"He says he wants to help us." Rosita was the first to speak up after Rick managed to force our friend back. My husband's gaze quickly found mine before turning to Dwight with a tilt of his head. "That true? You want to help?"

Dwight nervously nodded. "I do."

"Okay." My gaze flickered towards Rick's hand that reached for his gun. He pulled the hammer back and stepped further into the cell — aiming the gun towards Dwight intentionally. "Get on your knees."

He complied immediately and did what he was told. "Look at me," Rick spoke sternly — in which Dwight slowly lifted his chin in the direction of the gun. "Why?"

"'Cause I want it stopped." Dwight admitted. "I want Negan dead."

"So why don't you kill him?"

He slowly shook his head. "Can't just be me. They're all Negan."

Tara moved away from beside Rosita and hunched over in front of Dwight with her hands propped on her knees. "That girl you murdered — she had a name. Her name was Denise, and she was a doctor. She helped people."

I watched him nervously gulp through the minimum lighting we had in the entire room. "I wasn't aiming for her."

Daryl pulled out his hunting knife and charged towards Dwight by grabbing a fistful of his shirt and slamming him back against the wall.

"Do it. Do it!" Tara insisted.

I moved away from Michonne and stepped further into the cell beside Rick. "Daryl," I called out to him calmly but his knife didn't stray from Dwight's face. Their heavy breathing mixed together rapidly from anger and adrenaline.

Dwight didn't bother moving his face away with the blade. "You wanna end it this way — you go ahead. I'm sorry. I am. I know you want to."

Rick finally lowered his gun to the side with a small shake of his head. "He could just be here to see if you were here."

"We can't trust him." Michonne appeared beside me and I carefully flickered my gaze between her and Rick. "We only brought him in so we could hear him out. Said he knows how Daryl managed to escape."

"He owned me. But not anymore." Dwight's gaze briefly settled on mine before Rick immediately positioned himself in front of me. "What I did, I was doing it for someone else. She just got away," he continued with his attention back towards Daryl. "So now I'm here. So are you because of her."

"Do it!" Tara shouted.

"There's another choice."

Tara  stepped closer, shaking her head swiftly. "Daryl. Daryl, you knew her!"

Dwight continued. "Negan trusts me." He slowly raised his chin before lowering it but his breathing still remained heavily. "We work together, we can stop him. You knew me then, and you know me now. You know I'm not lying. I'm not."

Daryl finally lowered his knife but didn't remove the grasp he held on Dwights neck. Their stares never faltered and Rick purposely moved towards the side to stand beside them — watching Dwight's every move.

"They have Sasha, if she's even alive." Rosita muttered.

Paul turned to her, "Why didn't you say something? He could be our only chance to get her back."

"Because I don't trust him. But I trust Daryl."

Dwight nervously inhaled heavily. "Negan's coming soon. Tomorrow. Three trucks probably. Saviors and him." He flickered his gaze towards Rick, giving him a nod with confirmation. A panicked chill shot down my spine and the way I instinctively reached for my stomach again, Michonne immediately put an arm around me. "I can slow them down, bring some trees down in the road, buy a little time for you guys to get ready. If you can take them out, that's where we start. You kill them, I'll radio back to the Sanctuary and say everything's okay. You drive the trucks back, and I can lead you right inside, and, with the right plan, we can wipe out the rest."

"It's not the worst idea we've heard," I decided to speak up, earning several glances from my friends.

Dwight gave me a single nod but returned his attention back to Rick and Daryl. "Check to see if your friend's still alive. Then, we get the workers on our side, build our numbers up, and go from outpost to outpost and end this."

"I want to talk to you about something."

I looked up from the large duffle bag I was currently packing for Judith. Clothes, toys, food — anything she'll need that'll last a few days depending how long the fight could last.

Rick was sitting on the edge of the bed beside me, reaching for my hand in the process of speaking. "You're not going to like it, and you're going to be angry with me — but you're going to stay at Hilltop with Judith when this all goes down."

Sunrise hasn't even approached us yet but after Dwight left, Paul insisted on returning back to Maggie with Enid and the baby.

"What?" I furrowed my eyebrows while holding his strong piercing gaze. "I can't be worried about you, Carl, and the baby when this happens. I'm not going to risk it," he continued.

I quickly shook my head and peeled my eyes away to continue shoving her diapers inside the bag. "No. I'm not going, I'm staying and helping with the fight."

"It's too risky." He gestured his hand towards my stomach before hovering his arm across the bag to block my movements. "For once I need you to do what I say. I'm not arguing with you about this. We went scavenging for two days and when we returned, you slept for nearly twelve hours. You can't continue to push yourself."

I turned away from the baby abruptly and began collecting more of her clothes. "There's no fucking way I'm leaving, Rick."

"Sienna! Yes you are." He stood up now from the bed and I spun around to meet his stern gaze. "No, I'm not! You can drag me there, send me in a box — and I'll just come right back!" I tossed the clothes at the bed before pointing a finger towards him. "Because I swore to protect these people. I promised Deanna I would turn Alexandria into something beautiful. I told her I would take her place to defend her people and I can't do that if I'm hours away from home. We started this together, so let's finish this together!"

That familiar vein grew across his forehead as if he was battling every demon inside his body. "I said no!"

I quickly looked away from his burning glare and carefully crossed my arms over my chest. "I thought about what you said the other day. How if either one of us were going to die, it had to be you no matter what." I rolled my lips inward, pressing them in a tight line before biting down on my lower lip. "I didn't want to hear it but I'm listening now and I understand." I took a step closer to him and tilted my head backwards to properly catch his worried gaze. "I understand your fears. I see it everyday when I look you in the eyes. But I wont accept a life that didn't involve us trying. Either of us could die at any moment, but I'd rather do it by your side than far away wondering if you made it." My eyes grew glossy from fresh tears and he immediately held my face in the palm of his hands. "Not being here for you will eat me alive. You continuously saved my life from time to time again and again — let me do the same for you. Let me do this for you, for our family."

He inhaled heavily, his throat bobbing briefly like he was trying to contain himself from crying as well. "I know I said I could survive if you died," his voice was softer now but cracked slightly. "But the truth is I would die without you. And a world without you Sienna, is a world I refuse to live in."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close to me as much as I could without my stomach being in the way. Warm silent tears rolled down my cheeks when his own arms secured around my waist tightly — his hands gripped the back of my shirt.

After we said our goodbyes to Paul, Enid, and our sweet little Judith — we began our preparation for what was approaching us in the next several hours.

The sun finally hung above our heads and Jadis arrived with her group of scavengers. Several of her people are on bikes and large amounts sitting in giant garbage trucks. I so badly wanted to make an obvious comment at their choice of arrival — but I thought about what she said before. We take but don't bother.

It amazed me how her and her people managed to stay alive for so long. But if they only ever kept to themselves with little interaction outside their home, it was all I needed to know.

Jadis slowly walked towards Rick, Michonne, and I. Her eyes squinted past the sun as her gaze flickered between us. "What you fight for." She gestured around our home.

"Not the place," Rick placed a hand on his waist. "The people, each other. You're a part of that now."

"We take. We don't bother," she repeated. " Our way. Maybe another way."

"We want the same," I spoke softly to the woman while turning to face her. "Not to be bothered and to live peacefully. We might have that chance now with all of you here."

She slowly tilted her head in my direction. Her gaze faltered towards my stomach before flickering it back towards Rick — my eyebrows furrowed curiously. "Yours?" When she turned back to me, I looked at Rick and nodded. "Well, yeah."

Silence settled between us for a brief moment and her gaze didn't falter from mine as she gestured towards Rick. "I lay with him after. You care?"

My hand instinctively reached for the gun in my holster and my thumb pulled back the hammer. Rick immediately jumped towards me and grabbed my wrist firmly. "Okay, hey," he lowered his face towards mine, inspecting me to comply but I couldn't peel my burning glare off the woman.

She was entirely amused.

"We should get back to work," Michonne insisted with a nervous smile, raising her hands between Jadis and I.

"Yeah," Rick agreed with a quick nod of his head. His grip on the gun replaced my own and forced the safety back on, shooking me a quick wide eyed look.

Jadis began walking away with Michonne, my eyes lingering on her back before I turned to Rick. My facial expression shifted from anger to immediate disgust and frustration then started following after the women.

"How is this my fault?" I heard him muttered from behind me.

I stood with Michonne and one of Jadis' people on a rooftop. We each had a sniper to get the best view of the entire community up top when Negan and the saviors arrived.

"You shoot one of these before?" Michonne questioned the woman. I was in the middle of inspecting a strange metal object sitting by the extra bag full of ammunition. I couldn't figure out what it was used for — I started to question if the people living in this house in particular had an interesting taste in sexual intercourse but I was not one to judge by any means.

"Worry?"

"No. We'll be on the next one over."

"Why?" The woman questioned.

I lifted my gaze from the object in my grasp just as Michonne tilted her head towards the streets. "It's more sight lines if we split up."

The woman grabbed her own sniper and nodded. "I'll go."

"You sure?" The woman nodded and Michonne shrugged her shoulders before turning to me. "Sienna, put that thing on."

I snapped my head in her direction with my eyebrows raised. "Huh?"

She sighed softly with a slight shake of her head, fighting against smiling while propping her weapon against the perch. "I made it. It's supposed to protect you and your baby." I furrowed my eyebrows curiously and watched as she opened my jacket, securing the buckle across my back. It resembled one of those fake baby bumps you would see in stores — it gave me enough padding and the metal was nailed down on top of it. "I spent days melting the metal so it would sit across it perfectly. Nothing is getting through that."

I smiled up at my friend while dragging my fingers lightly across the fake bump. It was heavy, but I basically wore it like an old fashioned fanny pack. "Thank you." I zipped my jacket up to cover the object.

"We win."

We quickly turned towards the woman who returned to our roof. A smile ghosting her lips with her eyes training between us.

"Okay," Michonne gave her a single nod. "We win."

"Yeah." She responded before slowly turning away and exiting our roof to go to her own post.

I grabbed the third sniper from the ground and took my place beside Michonne, kneeling down on the pillow against the ledge. "Remember, just stay low. Don't pop up if you don't have to — I'll take care of the most."

"It's we, Michonne." I glanced up and offered her a gentle smile. "It'll always be a we."

"Sure," she nodded without taking her eyes off the front gate. "But if anything happens to you or my niece and nephew — I will raise hell."

I smiled knowingly, getting myself as comfortable as possible against the pillows before propping the sniper on the ledge and adjusting the scope so I could see.

"All points are covered. Every contingency is already met. I come armed with two barrels of the truth. A test is upon you, and I'm giving out the cheat sheet." Eugene's voice spoke loud and clear through a microphone. A deep rooted chill traveled down my spine and I purposely exhaled slowly to keep myself calm.

"I come salved with the hope that it is my dropped knowledge that you heed. Options are zero to none. Compliance and fealty are your only escape. Bottom-lining it — you may thrive, or you may die. I sincerely wish for the former for everyone's sake. The jig is up and in full effect. Will you comply, Rick?"

Ricks voice was muffled from the distance between us but whatever he said caused Eugene to respond with the most unexpected answer.

"I'm Negan."

I focused my gaze through the scope and watched as Rick flashed Rosita a quick nod, insisting she arms the explosions. Her own head turned, flinching away from the anticipated explosion after clicking the button but nothing happened. Nothing.

In just one blink of an eye Jadis and her group of scavengers suddenly had their guns pointed at our people. My knuckles tightened around the sniper in my grasp, cursing through gritted teeth as I watched Brion open our front gate to the saviors.

"Michonne," I muttered anxiously as I watched Negan make his way towards the front gate. I lifted my sniper and jumped to my feet the same moment Michonne did. We turned to the balcony door — only to be met with the woman holding the other sniper in our direction with a grin stretched across her lips.

"We win."

I slowly shook my head, "you don't have to do this. Those people — the saviors, they don't give a shit about any of us."

The woman tilted her head and gestured towards our guns. "Drop them."

"No," Michonne spoke through gritted teeth while taking a slow step in front of me. "Michonne," I warned my friend quietly and she hissed at me without looking over her shoulder.

The woman's lip curled upwards with distaste and below us on the streets, gunfire started popping off which caused the woman and Michonne to react quickly.

I was shoved towards the side and the woman charged towards Michonne, knocking the sniper out of her grasp and over the roof. I flipped my own around and tried using the end of it to smack against the woman's head; but she caught me by surprise when the heel of her palm collided with my nose and forced me on my back.

The gun slipped from my hands and blood started trickling down my nose instantly. She elbowed Michonne in the face before kicking the sniper across the balcony and away from me before I could reach it.

"Sienna, don't move!" Michonne insisted while regaining her balance and using all her strength to fight against the woman alone.

The woman was surprisingly stronger and managed to get Michonne on her knees with one arm around her back and ruthlessly slamming her face into the ground. "No!" I screamed while pulling out my knife and lunging at the woman.

I first threw my arm around her neck, jumping onto her back and stabbing her in the shoulder twice. Her grip on Michonne's head dropped momentarily only to whip her elbow back against my face swiftly.

I was on the ground once again, accidentally biting down on my lip upon impact and splitting that open in the process. I could taste the blood in my mouth but the adrenaline coursing through my body was pulling me back on my feet when I noticed the woman trying to choke Michonne on the ground.

I reached for my knife again and spat out the blood in my mouth on the ground. My entire body was shaking violently from the anger. I took three steps forward with the attempt to attack her again from behind — this time aiming from her head.

She reached for something inside her trench coat and spun around half way, firing off a bullet from a secret handgun she kept tucked away.

"No!" A blood curdling scream came from Michonne. "No! No!"

My body collapsed to the ground with a harsh thud and I immediately choked on the breath of air lodged in my throat from the impact.

"We win," the woman repeated with a deep grunt.

I heard the struggle between them both as they continued to wrestle. My back remained as still as possible against the ground but carefully catching a glimpse of the woman now forcing Michonne halfway over the edge.

Her hands were still grasped around her neck and Michonne held a piece of broken ceramic from a planting pot near the woman's face.

I pressed my lips firmly together, slowly raising myself off the ground and swiftly grabbing for my knife. With the woman's back facing me — assuming I was dead due to Michonne's reaction, it gave me the advantage to grab her by the ponytail and drive the blade through her neck.

"No," I spat angrily against her face. "We're the ones who live." She tried frantically reaching for the knife lodged in her neck — finally removing her grasp on Michonne's neck. I grabbed the back of her trench coat and used all the strength I had to force her over the edge of the building.

My best friend dropped beside me and I quickly kneeled in front of her with my hands cradling her face. "Michonne? Hey! Look at me!" Her swollen bloodshot eyes could barely remain open but her head shakily reached for my stomach.

I slowly smiled wide, lifting my jacket to quickly reveal that the bullet didn't pierce me or the metal. "You saved my life," I whispered softly. "Now I'm going to save yours." I grabbed one of her arms and tossed it over my neck. "Lean into me," I insisted through gritted teeth as I pulled us both back to our feet.

She nodded, barely making any reaction due to the amount of pain she was experiencing. I wanted to get her inside — away from the rooftop and any physical activity that could harm us both.

I carefully placed her down against the wall near the stairs. Her bottom lip trembled and her eyes finally shut due to exhaustion but remained breathing.

"I won't let you die," I whispered to her with my forehead leaning against hers. "Anyone that comes up here — I'll shoot them down."

In the same moment I spoke, a pair of footsteps echoed through the house and started climbing the stairs. I quickly ran back outside to retrieve one of the fallen snipers and immediately aimed it at the figure entering the room.

My eyes grew wide seeing Rick and Carl reach the top of the stairs. Their reaction mirrored my own before I dropped the gun and ran towards Michonne again.

"I'm not leaving her," I insisted to the boys while kneeling back down in front of her. "I'll stay here, protect her until it's over. I'll do anything, she saved my life — "

"Hey." Rick spoke softly, now holding the back of my head. "It's okay, it's over, we won — for now." My eyebrows furrowed instantly at the news, my gaze flickering between Rick and Carl — our son proudly nodding. "Maggie brought Hilltop and the Kingdom. They saved us all."

Fresh tears welled in my eyes when he pulled me into his chest, embracing me in a tight hug while reaching for Michonnes hand. "We're fighting back, all of us," he whispered into my hair. "We're ending this together."