meanstreak
rick grimes 𝘹 fem!𝘰𝘤
© WANDARYEN ──── 2024

"I thought about hiding some of the guns." Rick paced across the wooden stage of the church, one hand on his waist with all eyes on him. "I did it before. I figured I could bury some out there — maybe we don't touch them for years."

"Years?" Tobin's head tilted upwards as he looked in Rick's direction.

My husband nodded. "Yeah. That's right. But what if the Saviors find those guns? What if we run into them when we have those guns on us?" I silently placed a hand over my stomach subconsciously while I listened, my eyes lingering across the church. "One of us dies — maybe more than that. Maybe a lot more," Rick continued. "Doesn't matter how many bullets we have. It isn't enough. They win. It's that black-and-white. Hiding a couple of guns isn't the answer, not anymore." I slowly nodded my head, slightly tilting it to the side as I looked towards Rick. I could feel a few eyes locked on me, probably waiting for me to speak up or reassure everybody; but I knew better than that.

"We don't have to like it, but we need to give them over." Rick finally stood in the center of the stage with his hands placed on his waist. "A Glock 9 and a .22. That's what they're looking for. So who has it?" Both of our eyes trailed over the view of our people, most of everyone taking short glances at their neighbors before focusing back on the floor.

"Deanna really believed in whatever Sienna spoke about," Lila suddenly spoke up from my left. I turned my head and locked gazes with her. "She spoke highly about your wife — to each of us. I'd appreciate if we heard her opinion on it as well." Her husband, Drew, nodded beside her.

"Deanna was a good woman," I agreed softly. "I'm grateful to know she had faith in me. I was ready and willing to follow her every step so I could learn how to take care of everyone." I placed my hands on my thigh and stood up from the chair. "Even during the time I was by her side, I made promises that I'm still trying to keep. That was before all of this — before we ran into Negan. It's different now."

Rick walked over beside me and nodded. "Someone knows where they are or they know who does. If we don't find them, they're gonna kill Olivia."

"Why do they care?" Someone else spoke up, now standing from their seat as Rick and I looked in their direction. "Two guns aren't a threat to them. But those guns could help protect us from whatever else is out there."

Rick tilted his head towards the man. "Do you have 'em?"

"Wish I did." He responded with a grumble before sitting back down.

"Look," I sighed softly. "Most of you weren't there, you didn't have to watch what happened. You dont want to see it happen. So tell us, where are the guns."

"You can look away now when someone else dies," Rick continued, "or you can help solve this. We give them what they want, and we live in peace."

Suddenly Eric stood up from his spot beside Aaron, a small frown weighing on his lips as his gaze shifted between us. "Say we find the guns. How are we gonna get out of this?"

"There is no way out of this," Rick sighed.

"Im going to make this clear," I took a short step forward and forced a small smile on my lips as I tried to put it as gently as possible. "We answer to Negan, whether we like it or not. If you don't, you die. We're not saying we need to give up, but we need to adjust for the time being. Now just tell us where the guns are." There was another brief moment of silence as everyone either looked away or around each other. I noticed Eugene shifting in his chair until his curly head turned to us, half squinting curiously. "Not everyone's here."

I furrowed my eyebrows and started gazing around the church, doing a mental headcheck between our people before I realized Michonne wasn't in the room.

I pressed my lips in a firm line, "okay, everyone can go back to what they were doing. We'll figure it out."

Our community got up from the benches slowly, clear dread washing across their faces as they were forced to go back outside and endure the mess the survivors were creating.

I turned to Rick, my back facing the people as I whispered. "I don't see Michonne." His eyes were fixed on the group of people leaving until he nodded his head in agreement. "Neither do I." He placed a hand on my waist then locked eyes with me as he spoke. "Look just keep an eye on everyone, don't worry about the guns, I'll look for them." He pressed his lips to my forehead then walked down the stage before exiting the church.

Carl was the last one standing as he pushed Judith's stroller over to me. I pulled her out of the cushion and settled her on my waist with my eyes now trained out the windows, watching a few saviors walk by. "Did you mean what you said?" Carl asked in a hushed tone. "That we can't do anything?"

"You have to feed them the pea flavored baby food even if they don't like it," I responded. "We can't do anything without a plan."

"So you got one?" His eyebrows raised.

I slowly shook my head and looked down at Judith, holding my hand out for her to grab before she leaned her head against my chest. "Not yet, but we need everyone to stay calm. Right now we need to find those guns, keep the survivors happy for the time being."

"I don't think we have much time," Carl muttered, now running his fingers through his sisters curls. "I mean, did you see Daryl? They're taunting us."

I roughly bit down on my inner cheek at the mention of my best friend. I was very much aware of the state he was in and the fact neither of us could check on him was eating me alive. "Stay away from Daryl, okay?" I looked over at Carl and frowned. "I don't want to provoke Negan."

A small snort flew from Carl's nose as he turned his gaze towards the church doors. "Like when I threatened to kill him?"

I rolled my eyes and placed Judith on the floor but holding onto her hand as the three of us began walking. "As a leader — horrible decision. But as your mother," I glanced at him, now meeting his curious gaze and tried to fight back the urge to smile. "You were faster than me."

He laughed softly while pushing Judith's stroller and opening the door, the three of us now walking out onto the street.

"Sienna! Hey."

Both mine and Carl's head turned to one of the women that regularly watched Judith, a small smile on her lips as she reached for the stroller. "I can take her off your hands, you look like you could use a bit of rest."

A smile formed on my lips as I nodded my head, "thanks Marie."

"Come on little girl, lets go find something to do." Marie leaned down and picked Judith up, carrying her on her waist while pushing the stroller.

I turned to Carl and gently rubbed his back. "Stay out of trouble okay? Just — don't speak unless you're spoken to with this people," I added with a sigh and he nodded. I purposely watched him walk back towards our house, making sure he wasn't stopped by any of the saviors.

I needed to make my rounds and make sure everyone was doing well. The saviors were — chaotic, needless to say. Anyone that tried talking back would surely get something awful in return and I wasn't ready to lose more people.

"Psst."

My eyebrows furrowed and I immediately start shifting my gaze around the neighborhood.

"Sienna, hey." I quickly spun around after locating the voice seeking my attention. Near the red barn we built the first few weeks into Alexandria, Madison was standing alone, nudging her chin for me to follow.

I carefully followed her into the barn — the entire place empty but trashed completely thanks to the saviors. Something I was once so proud of, for Deanna and Reg, was now tarnished like it was nothing. It was going to take months to scavenge everything we lost. This was supposed to be the place to build memories, but now we had nothing.

Chairs were thrown across the floor and the bar was trashed. Glass, paper, books — endless of objects thrown around that was going to take an entire group to clean up.

I nervously followed her towards the bar that was intended for drinks and conversation. Her arm propped against the top of it, showing no visible ill reflection of what her group was.

I remembered seeing her while kneeling on the ground. Leaning against the vehicle that tried to kill me.

She nervously bit down on her lower lip with her gaze refusing to meet mine. "I'm sorry." Her first words were certainly a choice but it didn't move me or anger me — I was numb to it all at this point. "Sienna," she finally raised her eyes to meet mine. "I'm truly sorry."

"For which part?" I lifted my chin in her direction. "When you tried to kill me? For lying to me?"

"I didn't, that wasn't me." She quickly shook her head and removed her arm from the bar to step closer to me. "It was the saviors, your accident — it was them but I wasn't with them when that happened. It was still just me." Her gaze was soft but I remained unsure as she continued. "After bringing you home and getting a glimpse of this place — it made me realize I needed to find people to surround myself with. I came across the survivors, believe it or not they were pretty open to letting me in. Whether it was because I was alone or didn't have much to live for — I don't know. But they took me in right after you left."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" I mumbled bitterly while crossing my arms firmly against my chest.

She cursed under breath. "No. We just — I started hearing that our people were dying. Getting killed off by a group nobody knew about. Our compound was destroyed, families murdered, then before I knew it — I'm standing two feet in front of you."

"He killed my friends," I bit out.

"You killed a lot of our people," she countered carefully. "He was pissed, he still is. This facade he puts on — tries to make yall more compliant but he wanted to kill all of you." Her words struck me uneasy and it made my stomach churn. "I'm not saying he's a good guy or trying to cover up for what he did but from our point of view — it was bad. You guys are the villain."

Sudden tears welled up in my eyes and I forcefully brushed them back with the heel of my hands. "Okay. So what do you want then? I can't take back the things we've done, neither can your group."

"I know," she whispered, earning my attention again. "I just wanted you to know that I was sorry. I didn't agree what was happening, I still don't. I understand it but I don't respect it — I can't do anything about it."

"So what's your advice? We just take it and roll over?"

Her eyebrows raised. "Yes. Because if you don't he will kill you. All of you."

I quickly shook my head and spun around, moving swiftly towards the front doors of the barn. "Well, then you best head back to your group before the both of us get in trouble."

"Sienna, wait!"

I pushed the doors open and squinted past the burning sun immediately hitting my face. I was feeling anger but also sadness at the same time. Negan was unpredictable — it could take weeks to get us out of this mess, maybe even months.

"Balloons? You going to a party, little girl?"

My head turned immediately at the unknown voice of a savior standing before Enid with her pack in one hand and balloons in another.

Her eyes were fixed on the ground as she shifted from one foot to another. "Can I keep them, please?" As she went to reach for them he slowly pulled back and she sighed. "It's just — let me keep them."

"Say please again, little girl."

My head tilted slightly to the side and all the blood in my body started rushing to my head as I started walking towards them.

Enid now had her gaze focused up on the male as she begged. "Please." He chuckled deeply as his head tilted forward in her direction. "Yeah. One more time."

My chest rose and fell sharply with each breath I took. He reminded me of the man that tried to mount Carl from the group of claimed Daryl and I traveled with.

It caused that rubberband in my emotions to snap.

My hands curled into a ball and I took a daring step towards the man, snatching the balloons from his grasp and pushing Enid backwards. "What the fuck did you just say to her?" I took a steady stride closer to him. Familiar white noise making a return inside my head — causing everything around me to grow fuzzy.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" The savior threw the pack on the ground angrily and we were now toe to toe.

"Sienna!" Rick called out somewhere behind my shoulder but all I could see was red.

"No, say it again. I dare you." I encouraged, nodding my head eagerly. "I want you to tell me that you're being a sick fuck so I have a reason to cut your balls off!" He reached for his gun before another savior secured their arms around him. The same moment Rick grabbed onto me — both of us getting dragged apart.

"Let fucking go of me!" The savior spat, his arms shaking out of their grip.

"Stop!" Rick shouted but I purposely ignored him. Fighting against his arms, trying my best to latch onto the man and drive his head into the ground. "I swear to god I'll kill you!"

"Sienna, look at me!"

"You better keep your bitch on a leash," the savior spit towards the ground in my direction.

My eyes lit up with fire until Rick grabbed my arms and roughly spun me around so I was facing him. "Look at me!" He repeated while he leaned his forehead against mine.

I was forced to meet his strong demanding gaze — even with the savior continuously running his mouth somewhere behind us, I started focusing on calming myself down.

In through your nose, out your mouth.

Negan chuckled from behind us. "Wow! Can't believe I almost missed that." I closed my eyes slowly, that degrading voice of his fueling the fire that was already burning in my chest. "That girl — you wouldn't think it, but she's got a meanstreak in her."

I exhaled slowly through my parted lips and turned to look at the Negan. "Get — your men." I forced through gritted teeth.

"I know," Negan held up his hands in defense. "Believe me when I say I will be dealing with that later." His gloved covered hands now clasped together as he licked the corner of his lips. "So! Rick, what do you have for me?"

My husband's hands slowly dropped from my arms and I turned to Enid, my grip on the balloons loosening when she held out her hands to catch them. A small smile appeared on her lips and I gently brushed her hair off her shoulder before looking towards Carl who appeared. He met my stern look before understanding with a nod of his head, guiding Enid away from the group.

When I turned back around, Negan had two guns in his grasp and a large smile spread across his face. "Well, would you look at that? They were here after all." He tossed the guns to one of his people and chuckled softly. "Funny how a little "Holy shit! Somebody's gonna die!" lights a fire under everybody's ass!" I heard Olivia crying beside us, my gaze turning in her direction to send her a reassuring look until my eyes landed on Daryl.

His eyes were broken and pained, I couldn't see a single light in them and it made me scared.

"So, tell me, Rick — which one of your fine folks almost cost Olivia the rest of her days?"

"It doesn't matter anymore."

Negan pressed his lips together and nodded. "No, it matters." He suddenly placed a hand on Rick's shoulder and slightly shook him on his feet. "See, you need to get everybody on board. Everybody. Or — we just go right back to square one."