meanstreak
rick grimes 𝘹 fem!𝘰𝘤
© WANDARYEN ──── 2024

"Every time we take one step forward we always fall three steps back." I carefully pulled at a string hanging out from the blanket covering Rick and I. His hand was secured over my stomach, fingers sprawled out while occasionally stroking it.

Ezekiel gave us all separate bedrooms for the night. Some rooms had two beds or three, but Rick and I got lucky enough to only share with each other.

I wanted to sleep — I was exhausted, but we've spent the past two hours talking about our situation and no matter how much I vent, it doesn't make me feel any more secured.

"I don't want to leave Alexandria. I know we could, but I can't abandon those people. Not after we've fought so hard to have them believe in us."

Rick propped his arm up beside my head and leaned his own against his hand. "Even if the king doesn't agree — we'll find another way, I know we will."

"What if we don't?" I tilted my chin up to meet his gaze. "We won't make it. There's not enough of us. He'll burn our home to the ground — "

He hushed me quickly by pressing his lips against my forehead. "Don't encourage these thoughts," he whispered to me. "It's only going to stress you out further and that'll — "

"I know," I sighed while quickly turning my head and pressing the back of my hand against my face. "I can't help it. Any chance I get to feeling hope, it gets snatched right out from under me." I felt his hand graze my wrist and allowed him to pull my hand from my face. I turned to him again, fully turning over on my side. "I have dreams that we live on a farm — far away from other communities with the kids. You're always working on a project to keep yourself busy. Carl is older, Judith is just a little girl but her hair is so long just like how mine was."

I leaned my hand against his chest and mindlessly started messing with one of the buttons on his shirt. Circling the pad of my thumb along the edge of the object. All visual memories of the dreams coming back to me in waves.

"Does your dream happen to predict what will be come of the little one inside you right now?" His arm circled around my waist and intentionally pulled me closer.

I smiled, shyly shrugging my shoulders before tilting my chin upwards to look at him through the dark. "A girl."

"A little girl?" I could hear the smile in his voice which caused me to nod encouragingly. "Yeah," I whispered softly. "She has your eyes."

He chuckled softly and his chest shook with happiness — vibrating against my own. "I'm not sure what Carl is going to do with two sisters."

I lightly pressed his shoulder and forced him to lay on his back before climbing on top of him. A soft smile lingering across my lips while I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "He'll protect them," I nodded knowingly. "If anything were to happen to either of us — he'll be the best brother possible."

Rick's hands held my waist and from the shadows inside the room I could see him nodding in agreement. "Yeah, he will, sweetheart."

I leaned down and gave him a long kiss on the lips before stretching my body out. Our legs tangled together instantly and my head found a home between his neck — breathing in his scent peacefully before closing my eyes.

"I won't let anything happen — to either of you," Rick whispered into my hair.

"This is life here. Every day — but it came at a cost." Ezekiel turned to face us, a group of children practicing how to use a bow and arrow behind him. One girl sat on a stool with a leg missing, but she showed no signs of discomfort — in fact, she wore a smile proudly when she shot the arrow at the target. "And I wanted more of this. I wanted to expand — to create more places like this," he continued explaining. "Men and women lost their limbs. Children lost their parents because I sent them into battle against the wasted when I did not need to."

Rick stepped away from me and Richard, stepping closer to Ezekiel with a brief shake of his head. "This is different."

I watched the king furrow his eyebrows. "It isn't."

"It is." Rick hovered his hand towards his chest while keeping his attention locked on Ezekiel. "The dead don't rule us. The world doesn't look like this outside your walls. People don't have it as good — some people don't have it good at all.

"I have to worry about my people."

"You call yourself a damn king." Daryl spoke up, causing me to turn my head in his direction once Ezekiel paced towards him. "You sure as hell don't act like one."

I watched him carefully gesture around the courtyard, one hand holding his cane and the other now pointing towards the children in front of us. "All of this came at a cost. It was lives, arms, legs. The peace we have with the Saviors is uneasy, but it is peace. I have to hold on to it — I have to try."

"It's not right," I noted calmly.

The king turned to me, "if it were you in this position — asked to open your gates and risk losing everything, would you?" I quickly stepped forward towards the king and Michonne reached for her sword. "Yes!" Tears welled in my eyes while I focused my gaze entirely on him. "If it gave them a fighting chance to survive then yes! We've come across several groups that have tried to kill us for as much as just crossing their paths. We know what it's like to live in fear and if you do as well, as much as you express you do — I'd hope you would change your mind and give us a chance to survive."

I eagerly waited for his response but when his gaze fell towards his feet, I knew we weren't going to get anything out of this.

"Although the Kingdom cannot grant you the aid you desire," he spoke calmly. "The King is sympathetic to your plight." I immediately turned my body around and into Rick's chest. Who willingly wrapped himself around me like a shield. I wasn't going to cry – no matter how badly my body was trying to fight back.

Ezekiel turned to face Rick, who didn't lower his arms from my body. "I offer our friend Daryl asylum for as long as he requires it. He will be safe here." He gave us a single nod, ensuring his words. "The Saviors do not set foot inside our walls."

"How long do you think that's gonna last?" Daryl muttered, being the first one to walk away from the group.

The walk back to the front gates of the kingdom was an underlying emotion of defeat. Morgan and Richard followed us back — most of our group walked ahead of us while I stayed with Rick and Michonne.

"You can change his mind, but you won't."

Morgan bowed his head, not making eye contact with Rick but simply nodded at his statement. "Then you can stay. We can talk."

"How many people do we have?" Richard asked. "To fight? I'll go with you."

I reached for my stomach again, something that was beginning to bring me comfort every time I remembered I was carrying the future of our family. Michonne walking beside me reached for that same hand, taking it in her own and giving me a reassuring squeeze.

I quickly looked over at her and offered a small smile, in which she returned with a single nod.

Rick slowly shook his head. "We don't even have enough to take on one outpost face-to-face yet.

"So the Kingdom has to get involved," Richard sighed. "Or the Saviors will always be in charge. It isn't about soldiers. We're making them stronger." He turned his gaze towards my husband. "The more food we give them, the more arms, the more everything, every day any of us give them something, they become harder and harder to beat."

Daryl raised his arm and gestured towards the gate. "All right, open it up. We're gone." Rick and I stopped in front of our friend — Michonne's hand slipping from my own as she followed the others outside of the gate.

"You're not," Rick shook his head, earning a questionable look in return. "I'm not staying here."

I folded my arms over my chest and nodded. "He'll kill you if he finds you."

His gaze flickered towards mine in an instant. "Not if I kill him first." I tilted my head, my facial expression shifting to fear out of concern and worry he would do something reckless. "Daryl."

"It's the smartest play," Rick added. "You know it is." Daryl immediately forced his stare away from the both of us while shifting on his feet. "Try to talk to Ezekiel. Or stare him into submission — whatever it takes." I watched Rick place his hand on Daryls shoulder, squeezing it gently. "We'll be back soon."

Rick turned away but I remained planted where I stood beside Daryl, my heart pulling at my chest. I wasn't ready to say goodbye, not after we just reunited a day ago. We've traveled through Georgia together side by side — he was there for me every time I lost somebody.

"Sienna?"

I looked back towards Rick but Daryls voice brought my attention back to him quickly. "We'll see each other again." It was a promise — I could hear it in his voice. It made me want to believe him even if our future was unclear. "You just focus on staying healthy for you and that baby." I nodded my head slowly. "Gotta protect your family, remember?"

I slowly inhaled through my nose and gave him another nod, silently watching him walk back to the beautiful chaos of the community.

"For anyone out there who loved the obese bastard as much as I did, I just want to say a few words. Fat Joey was not the most badass sonuvabitch, but he was loyal. He had a great sense of humor. In fact, we were just joking about oral sex with Lucille the other day. Things will not be the same now that he's dead. Without Fat Joey, Skinny Joey is just – Joey. So it's a goddamn tragedy. So, let's have a moment of silence."

I carefully moved closer towards the dash of the vehicle with my gaze fixated on the line of cars blocking our path from getting home. "You don't think — ?" I turned to Rick before looking at Paul, who nodded slowly. "Gotta be the Saviors."

"Look." Carl piped up from behind me, pointing out the window. "I think that's their base over there." I shifted in my seat and saw a large tall grey building standing in the distance.

"Yeah, that's it." Paul spoke. "Must be trying to make it hard to get to them."

Rick turned off the car and removed the key from the ignition. "We gotta keep going. We'll move them, and then we'll move them back. They don't need to know we were here." He was the first to step out and I followed before opening the back door for the others to exit.

The group began moving four cars out of the way while Paul drove ours ahead. I stood beside Michonne who was using the binoculars to keep an eye out for any unwanted visitors.

She slowly lowered the binoculars away from her face and I immediately noticed the worried expression lingering on her features. "Rick. Come take a look at this." She held out the binoculars in his direction once we walked over.

"What is it?" I turned my head back and forth. "What do you guys see?"

Michonne was the first to walk off towards whatever she saw through the binoculars. I opened my mouth once more until Rick turned to me, handing over the binoculars. "If I asked you to stay here with the car — would you?" I lifted my gaze to face him and silently raised my eyebrow before following after Michonne.

"Course not," I heard him grumble behind — purposely staying hot on my heels.

I reached Michonne, her arm extending in front of me and forcing me to stop. I followed her gaze down towards the long extended wire crossing the entire highway with several explosives attached to it.

Rick carefully got down on his hands and knees to inspect the situation. Michonne finally lowered her arm, "what's all this for?"

"Us?" I questioned nervously.

Carl appeared beside me, placing a hand on my shoulder while turning to Rick. "Wait, when I was hiding in the back of the truck, I heard a couple of them talking about this." I watched Rick slowly stand up from the ground as Carl continued. "This is for a herd."

"That's why it's a steel cable," Rosita piped up, earning our attention. "It's not just for one walker. It's for a lot."

"We need these explosives," Sasha nodded. I quickly turned to her with my eyes slightly widened. "These could help us in the fight against the saviors." She nodded again, confirming my statement.

"Yeah," Rick brushed his hands against his jeans. "But we have to figure out how to disarm it first."

Rosita suddenly kneeled down in front of a metal grate below the explosives. She carefully lifted the metal lid and placed it beside her, Tara leaning over her shoulder to get a proper look before taking a few steps back. "Oh, uh, okay."

"Backing up is not gonna make a difference if this thing goes off." Rosita stated while she began carefully unclipping wires.

The walkie in Paul's pocket clicked and Negans voice came through again. "We got ourselves a red situation. I need a search party. See if Daryl ran home like the dumb animal that he is."

"On it. Be there in time for lunch." Simon responded. "Turn that sleepy little burg upside down."

"We gotta go." Michonne spoke up. "We gotta get there before them, but we need these."

I nodded in agreement, shifting my gaze towards Rick. "We need to clear a path anyway."

"Yeah," he shifted on his feet. "Rosita?"

I nervously turned back around and watched her pull out the charger that sends the signal for the explosives — a smile stretching across her lips. "First part's done." I raised my eyebrows curiously, "do I want to know how you learned to do that?"

"Another time." With the charger in her grasp, she jumped back to her feet. "We gotta unwrap the secondary explosives —  the dynamite, the RPGs. Make sure these casings are not messed up, and do not mess them up, either. This thing could still blow."

Rick gestured between the entire group. "You all heard her, let's go." Before I could even process what was happening and react accordingly, Rick grabbed my wrist and kept me from moving. "Not you. I need you to stand over there while we get this done." I followed his gaze towards the railing of the highway — my eyes twitching to roll instinctively.

"It's not fun being pregnant," I muttered while moving away from the group and positioning myself near the edge.

I carefully watched everyone remove the explosives one by one just like Rosita instructed. Occasionally using the binoculars to check our surroundings and make sure no walkers or Negan's group was coming by.

The explosives were carried with caution to the back of our vehicle. My grip on the binoculars tightened when several walkers came into view. "Oh God," I muttered to myself before turning to the group. "They're coming!"

"They're far," Rick paused momentarily to look where I was pointing. "We still have time. Everyone — take your time, don't rush. Sienna keep your eyes on the horizon." I nodded my head. "We need to get the cars back in front of the onramp."

Paul stopped moving after carrying a set of explosives to the car. "They'll know we took their explosives, so does it matter?"

"We want that herd to stay on the highway." Rick passed Tara another set, her eyebrows lifting nervously. "Why?"

"We may need it."

"Okay!" Rosita called out from the car. "Tara, Carl, come on!"

I slowly started backing away, lowering the binoculars while barely turning my head to speak towards Rick. "How much time do you guys need?"

"Every possible second — why?"

My eyebrows slowly lifted. "Because they're coming right up on our asses." I turned around and ran towards my husband, who pointed between Sasha and Jesus. "Can you guys get back to Hilltop on foot?"

Sasha nodded, "Yeah."

"Tell Maggie we're not giving up," Rick stated. "Go!"

"Rick!" Michonne shouted, slowly standing up from the ground. "They're gonna cut them off! Can we just split up?"

He quickly shook his head, "No."

I followed the cord attached from one car to the other, tucking the binoculars under my left arm. "What about the cars? Can we use them?" I looked back at Michonne while she shrugged a the idea. "If they run, we lay on the horn when we start it — "

"I'll bring my arm down, and we go." Rick nodded, still holding several explosives in his hand. "Stay together!" He gestured between Michonne and I.

I quickly climbed into the car Michonne was working on, removing the last wiring before she got behind the wheel and started stripping the wires to start the vehicle. I tossed the binoculars by my feet and slammed both of our doors shut.

Our car roared to life the same moment Ricks did. I rolled down the passenger window with haste and we waited for him to lower his arm in one swift motion.

"Go!" I insisted and Michonne slammed her hand against the horn while stepping on the gas.

I nervously held the elbow rest with one hand and the door handle with the other. The walkers in front of the car and standing in the way of the wire got completely detached and torn apart. Blood immediately blocked our view through the front windshield until Michonne stopped the car abruptly and turned to me.

"Run to the car! I'm right behind you!"

I nodded and kicked the car door open after sweeping up the binoculars. "I only have my knife!" I shouted in sheer panic, watching as the numbers within walkers continued to surround us.

"It's okay, just keep going!" Michonne responded.

I tucked my elbows in and used my shoulders to shove them out of the way. Several coming up behind me and grabbing a fist full of my hair – yanking my head backwards. I yelped from the pain but continued to shove and kick past them until their fingers were removed from my scalp.

The car door of our vehicle opened wide for me and I dove straight into the seats. Carl wrapped his arms around me first and I used my legs to continuously kick them out of the way until Rick appeared.

Michonne rounded the car and climbed in through the other side before Tara locked the doors and sped off.

I quickly fixed my position and checked over my shoulder to make sure Michonne was good before turning back to Rick. "You're okay," I whispered breathlessly while holding his face in my hands. "We're okay."

"I pushed it," he heaved out heavily with a slight shake of his head. "I pushed it. I'm sorry – "

I shook my head quickly and smiled, gently rubbing his cheeks with my thumbs. "We're here, we made it."

"You can smile," Michonne laughed softly behind us. I nodded in agreement, resting my forehead against his. "We're the ones who live, remember? It's us."

We made it back to Alexandria in one piece luckily — barely, but thankfully before the saviors arrived.

The front gate slid open and we were immediately met by Tobin. "Lose the car?" I shook my head, using my thumb to gesture behind us on the road. "We parked it somewhere safe."

His eyebrows slightly furrowed with confusion. "You didn't find anything?"

"No." Rick shook his head. "Listen, we need to get everyone ready. The — " The sound of vehicles approaching forced me to spin around with the anxiety rising in my chest. Fear of seeing Negan's face again after the last time — I wasn't emotionally prepared for it just yet.

Three trucks and three motorcycles drove past the front gate and parked. Rick instinctively reached out for me and I stepped closer to his side, watching as Simon climbed out of the first vehicle with his arms stretched wide.

"Rick! Sienna — hello. And, hello again." He grinned wide.

"We thought it'd be longer." Rick grabbed my hand as Simon placed his own upon his waist. "Do you think we're here for a tribute? Do you?" He tilted his head to the side.

"Is there another reason?"

Simon, who was still smiling, flickered his gaze from Rick towards me. "There is. We're here for Daryl."

I furrowed my eyebrows, trying my hardest to give the impression I didn't know what he was talking about. "Negan has him, doesn't he?"

He chuckled. "Oh, but then your son showed up, Daryl went missing — might those two things be connected?" I shook my head slowly just as Rick did. "They're not," he shrugged. "We didn't know he was gone till right now."

"Then this should be easy." Simon wagged his finger around the area. "Now, everyone find a buddy. Gonna have to follow us around. If he's here, we really need you all to see him die." My stomach turned instantly, memories of the lineup flashing through me like a title wave.

Rick and I followed Simon to the garage that held all our food supplies. Michonne, Carl, Rosita, and Tara still followed us close behind.

I watched as Simon ran his hands across the empty shelves standing in front of us. "Wow. These are some bare shelving units." I tried to fight the shock threading through my system — this was not how we left things. "You guys have a barbecue or something and not invite us? Seriously, this is sad." He turned to us slowly with his chin raised. "Hope you're not trying to hide stuff from us, 'cause that generally doesn't go over very well."

"We have a lot of people," Aaron stated calmly, arriving with Tobin and Eric at his side. "It's getting harder to find stuff, and our focus lately has been on finding things that Negan might want. We're still adjusting to the new system."

Rick nodded his head. "We were gonna scavenge more today." Simon turned around towards my husband with his eyes narrowed. "If you just wait, we'll bring something back. We'll find more."

He chuckled mockingly, resting his arms across one of the empty shelves. "Relax. I'm not here for a pick-up. Good thing — But that day is coming, so you best do whatever you need to." He slammed his palms against the metal shelf. "Dig deep. Go the extra mile. Take some risks!"

"We will," Michonne spoke up sternly, earning Simon's attention. "Well, we will appreciate that." The corner of his lips tugged upwards when he pointed a finger in my direction. "Heard Sienna Grimes was pregnant — pretty fucked up not to have any food in here."

I bowed my head instantly before lifting my hands to brush my hair back. Simon turned back to Rick, "Thank you for the cooperation, Rick. My apologies for leaving the place a bit of a mess, but we got a litany of other shit to attend to." He stepped around the shelf and patted his shoulder. "So do you, I guess. Tick-tock. Chop-chop!" I lifted my head and watched as Simon began walking out of the garage before pausing abruptly. "Oh! And, Rick... if Daryl does turn up here two days from now, two months from now — " He raised his eyebrows with a shrug of his shoulders. "Hell, two years from now, just know there's no statute of limitations on this. Keep that hatchet handy. You're gonna need it if he turns up with you people. And it won't turn out the way it did for your boy." He chuckled after the last bit and we followed him out of the garage and back towards the vehicles.

The saviors started driving out of the community and Tobin quickly closed the gate once they were gone. I turned to our group and placed my hands on my waist. "What the hell happened to the pantry?"

Aaron turned to me with a slow shake of his head. "We don't know. And we need to talk about Gabriel."

"Where is he?" Rick questioned.

After closing the gate, Tobin made his way towards us. "He was on watch the night you all went to scavenge. I was supposed to take over for him in the morning. He wasn't at his post." He folded his arms over his chest while he spoke. "Pantry was cleared out and a car was gone."

"No one's seen him since." Eric added.

Rosita scoffed with a shake of her head. "That son of a bitch. He stole our shit and ran."

I held up my hand while shifting my weight from one foot to the other. "Wait, that doesn't make any sense." Tobin shrugged, "That's what it looks like."

"Well, I don't want to believe it." Michonne disagreed.

"I don't believe it," Rick shook his head. "That's not Gabriel. He wouldn't do that to us." My gaze flickered back towards Rosita, her voice thickening with anger while she spoke. "I thought he changed, too, but it can't be anything else."

"Yes, it can." Rick stated firmly. He walked straight past me and I decided to follow him directly towards the armory. The first thing I noticed, besides the empty shelves no longer occupied by weapons – was the bible lying on the ground.

"I  can't believe he would just take our stuff and go." Tara sighed while dropping her arms to her sides. "I mean, that's — that's not who he is."

I leaned my shoulder against the wall with my arms secured tightly over my chest, watching Rick carefully flip through the pages of Gabriel's bible. "I didn't trust him in the beginning but he's done a lot to make up for it. This doesn't feel right."

Michonne slowly paced in front of Tara. "Well, he saw Olivia and Spencer die right in front of him."

"I know, I just," Tara frowned. "He found his courage, you know? I want to believe he held on to it."

Rick finally stood up straight while holding the bible in the air. "Why wouldn't he have taken this with him? Why would he leave it on the floor?"

The door of the armory opened and Aaron appeared beside me, causing me to step away from the wall to meet his gaze. "There weren't tracks out there before. We didn't find anything now." Rosita and Eric entered the room next as Aaron continued. "Maybe Daryl could've picked something up."

"He left." Rosita shook her head while Rick tossed the bible on a nearby table before grabbing the log book. "He didn't leave a note. He obviously doesn't want to be found."

I watched Rick flip through the pages swiftly before going to the back of the book, showing us a page with the word 'boat' written across it. "Yes, he does."

Aaron moved closer towards Rick. "How would he know we were out there?"

"I don't know."

dylan
little moments of protective michonne over sienna are my favoriteeeeeeee