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fifty one



meanstreak
rick grimes 𝘹 fem!𝘰𝘤
© WANDARYEN ──── 2024

That following night, we as a group settled together in the living room with blankets and pillows thrown around the floor. For the first few nights we felt more comfortable — safe — to sleep together before separating between the two houses.

Rick and I carried all the mattresses down stairs into the living room for everyone to pile on.

Judith had her very own crib to sleep in, right beside the couch Rick and I were going to sleep on together. It was intended for one person, but we were going to manage so the others could take the mattresses.

"Wow," Michonne sighed happily, entering the living room with a bright smile on her face. "How long was I in there for?"

Rick chuckled under his breath, "twenty minutes."

"God, I could not stop brushing."

I placed the last remaining blanket I could find in the linen closet on the couch, followed by a small decorative pillow. "Huh," Michonne smiled just as I turned to see her gesturing towards Rick's face. "I've never — I've never seen your face like that."

He subconsciously reached up to touch his face, giving her a short nod. "That's what I felt before and after."

Michonne's gaze flickered towards mine and the corner of her mouth twitched upwards. "You got a good one."

"Yeah," I nodded proudly while putting my arm around Rick's waist. "I did."

She took a step closer towards Rick and I, her voice lowering slightly with her gaze flickering around the group that was scattered amongst the living room. "Look, I get why we're playing it safe, we should." She nodded. "I just — I have a good feeling about this place."

"So does Sienna," Rick added. "I hope you're both right."

"Yeah, me too." Michonne glanced at me and I nodded in agreement.

A soft knock at the front door of the house caused everyone to falter their movements and become cautious. Rick was the one to open the door, revealing Deanna with a smile.

"Rick, I — " Before she could step through the threshold, she stuttered with the new appearance of Rick standing before her. "Wow." He groaned with a slight turn of his head. "I didn't know what was under there." I smiled with a soft chuckle under my breath.

She raised her hands slightly. "Listen, I don't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to stop by and see how you were all settling." When her eyes peered into the living room, they scanned across the entire group camping in the same room. A soft gasp left her lips, "oh, my. Staying together. Smart."

Rick placed a hand on his waist. "No one said we couldn't."

I swiftly positioned myself beside him and smiled towards Deanna. "We appreciate everything you've given us already, between the two houses — we just need to catch our bearings and we prefer to do that together before potentially separating."

I felt Ricks hand slide up my back and place itself on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"You said you're a family." Her eyes softly pierced my own before looking towards Rick. "That's what you said." She was smiling — a real smile. Nothing that showed fake kindness but solidified how genuine her feelings were about us. "Absolutely amazing to me how people with completely different backgrounds and nothing in common can become that. Don't you think?"

Rick raised his left hand higher on the door, holding it open for Deanna while she remained close to the doorframe. "Everyone said you gave them jobs."

Her head bobbed happily. "Mhm, yeah. Part of this place." Her gaze traveled from the group back to Rick, laughing softly. "Looks like the communists won after all."

His head bowed slightly. "Well, you didn't give me one."

"I have." She gave him a single nod. "I just haven't told you yet. Same with Michonne — and Sienna." I tilted my head curiously at her statement. "I'm closing in on something for Sasha. And I'm just trying to figure Mr. Dixon out, but I will." My gaze wandered from Sasha over to Daryl, who was situated next to Judith's crib protectively. "You look good," Deanna grinned before exiting the house.












































"Where you lived on the farm with your family, was that pre-breakout or after?"

"Before. I graduated from college and moved back home with my fiance — I lost my mother a while ago but I wanted to be home to help take care of my father with my sisters." I was admiring Deanna's books again with my hands positioned on my waist. "This is quite the collection you have here. My father would've loved this."

"Thank you." The older woman appeared at my side with her own gaze lingering across the spines, silence swirling around us until she asked another question. "You were engaged?"

I immediately swallowed the breath of air I inhaled while giving her a slight nod. "Yes, but he died."

"How?"

I shifted on my feet and looked over at the woman. Her eyes were piercing mine now, my remorse lingered over her expression. "I killed him."

Her shoulders briefly slacked before returning her straight posture. "Oh — I expected you to refuse an answer. I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be," I quickly shook my head.

She gestured her hand towards the chairs and I sat myself down in the seat across from the couch. "May I ask what happened?" She sat down with her hands folded together over her lap. A notebook and pen waiting to be used beside her on the couch cushion.

"He was abusive," I lowered my chin slowly before raising it high. I didn't feel anything when I spoke about Steven, which made it easier thinking about the past because that's exactly what it was. In the past. "We were great friends before the proposal and unfortunately I didn't see him for what he truly was. He tried killing me — so I fought back. It was either his life or mine, and I wasn't ready to leave my family yet."

Her mouth gaped with surprise, "wow, that's — very powerful." She leaned forward, slouching her shoulders but the clear anticipation to hear my story loomed in the air. "I'm assuming afterwards is when you found Rick?"

A smile crept on my lips before I could even try to contain it. I turned my chin and peered at the window at the far side of the room. I could still see the roof of each house and the trees stretched across the yards.

"He arrived when I needed him most — almost as if it were planned." I exhaled softly, my eyes drifting down towards the rug. "I think God was telling me to hold on a little bit longer before Rick came. And when he did — " My lips twitched happily and a rush of memories with Rick flooded my mind. The air in my lungs held me upright — as if Rick was in the room with me giving me strength.

He was never far from me.

"I've lost a lot of people." I finally brought my gaze back towards Deanna. "But I didn't allow the pain to turn me into a coward. I stepped up to help take care of our group. I always tried to do what's right and make the best decisions that would save us in the end. I'm dedicated to taking care of them." Tears welled like a tidal wave appearing on the beach but Deanna remained silent, allowing me to continue. "I would do anything for them. They're family. The only family I have left and if I have to build an entire community brick by brick with my bare hands to make sure they survive — I'll do it."









































"Can't sleep?"

I lightly shook my head, my eyes locked on Judith's small sleeping figure in the crib beside us.

Rick gently combed his fingers through my hair. "What are you thinking about?"

I shifted my gaze towards his, my arms and legs tangled with his own and his free arm secured tightly around my waist. I lifted my chin on his chest and whispered softly. "Since the moment we walked through the gates, to now — I haven't gotten a bad feeling about this place."

"But?"

I shrugged lazily. "I'm beginning to wonder if it's too good to be true. Maybe there's a catch — maybe, maybe something happens and we have to leave." His fingers continued to graze my spine while his head turned slightly, waiting for me to continue. "Or maybe I'm just being paranoid and this might actually be a good spot to call home. I don't know."

He raised his hand and used his knuckles to brush the hair from my face. "I think being cautious is the right move. Not intentionally assuming the worst with these people but — making sure we're safe. That comes first."

I nodded in agreement and leaned forward to press my lips against his.

Our voices were low enough to the point it didn't accidentally stir anyone awake. Especially Judith — I can't remember the last time she's had a decent night's rest for a consecutive five hours. At least without waking up crying every thirty minutes.

"What's got you awake?" I mumbled softly while grazing his cheek with my finger.

His fingers caressing my face faltered slowly and for a brief moment his gaze flickered away from mine. Something shifted — sadness ghosting his face and it tugged at my heart.

"I had a nightmare." His eyes flashed back towards mine and the sadness behind them never changed. "About you."

My eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I caught a glimpse of his throat bob and his gaze immediately left mine again. Silence falling in the living room once more — several snores echoing in the background.

"You were hurt — your face down in the ground." His throat bobbed slightly. "I tried running towards you but every time I got close enough, you would disappear. Your figure is moving farther and farther away – I couldn't reach you." My heart throbbed heavily against my chest and I could feel my skin grow clammy from sweat. "When I finally managed to reach you, I rolled you over and your eyes poured into mine but they didn't glow. You were already gone. I was too late."

I shook my head slowly with disbelief, my hand cradling his face tenderly. I wanted to cry for him. "Hey," I whispered softly while stroking his cheek. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere — you don't ever have to worry about that."

His face turned into the palm of my hand and placed a gentle kiss on the kiss. His eyes closed tightly and the fact I couldn't take away the pain in his heart made me want to burn the world.

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