meanstreak
rick grimes 𝘹 fem!𝘰𝘤
© WANDARYEN ──── 2024

I helped Calvin and Lily carry their medical supplies into our tiny infirmary of Alexandria. I returned back home over an hour ago having to go through the process I've reuniting with my friends and family, promising them once again that I was going to be okay.

I knew things were bad and getting worse. I sat in the car with Rick when we arrived and he spoke how he was going to visit Jadis again — somehow convince her to get them back on his side.

I wanted to tell him no but ultimately I knew we didn't have another choice. Our numbers were slipping quickly.

"I'm very grateful you both agreed to come back with me. But I must admit I am shocked. With everything going on, I don't quite understand why you both would come here willingly." I set down the last box of supplies near the medical bed and turned to the couple, offering them a small smile. "I wouldn't have been offended if you declined the offer."

Lily looked up at her husband and smiled before playing a hand on his arm. "We don't mind one bit." She turned and started walking towards me, taking my hands in her own. "Calvin and I can't have children — we usually jump at the opportunity to help a family when it involves a baby. We didn't hesitate to accept the offer once it was given to us."

Calvin appeared behind Lily, offering me a nod. "We're aware of what's happening but you also need help. We're hoping you'll allow us to take care of you these final months to make sure you're capable of having this baby."

I nodded my head but shifted my weight from one foot to the other. "So — you both know of my situation?"

"I wish there was an easier way to put this." Lily squeezed my hands tighter before settling her own over my stomach. "The stress you take on is causing your body to grow sensitive. Rick informed Dr. Dana of every encounter you've had since you've become pregnant, which led her to filling us in. We've started tracking as much data as possible, when each incident happened — what damage has been caused to your body." I nodded silently as I listened but couldn't help the knowing tears forming in my stomach that I haven't been taking it easy like I should've been doing from the beginning. "But — " She gently rubbed my stomach and offered me a smile. "I can promise you that I am good at what I do and no matter what under any circumstance, we will be delivering this baby and she is going to be wonderful."

I smiled at her words and used the back of my hand to wipe the tears from straying. "Thank you. Are you both doctors or is your husband — ?" I flickered my gaze up at the man.

"I was a medic in the navy. Lily was a doctor on base — you are under the most care possible."

I exhaled a heavy breath that I didn't realize I was holding until I wrapped my arms around Lily's shoulders and embraced her as tightly as I could. She didn't react poorly or hesitate to secure her arms around me in response.

I let out a gentle laugh from relief, pulling away from the older woman but shifting my gaze between the couple happily. "Would you guys like to meet my children? Rick and I have a son, Carl — he's fifteen and our daughter Judith is a year and a half."

Lily's eyes lit up joyfully and she nodded with eagerness. "Yes—yes, please, that would be wonderful."

The couple followed me outside the building, several residents of Alexandria slipping past us while carrying weapons. A nervous feeling settled in my stomach and I quickly hovered my hand over my belly, silently reassuring myself.

Michonne appeared over the small hill near the pond and smiled wide in my direction. "I want you guys to meet some of our friends," I ushered the couple to follow me, Michonne meeting me halfway across the street. "Michonne, this is Lily and Calvin. They're going to be our doctor for a while."

"Thank you for having us," Calvin smiled, offering his hand first. "Alexandria is beautiful. We're mainly here for Sienna but we will offer any support to those who need it."

"We appreciate that more than you know." Michonne turned to Lily and shook her hand as well. "All I ask is that you stick close to this girl like glue — " her elbow nudged my arm and I smiled in return. "She has a habit of running towards the flames, not from it." I wanted to dismiss her comment out of defense but nodded instead, accepting the truth.

Lily turned to me, offering a wide smile with a knowing nod. "That's what every mother does."

I embarrassingly waved my hands around feeling the heat creeping up my neck. "Okay. Where's Judith? Is she playing?"

Michonne nodded and gestured towards the direction she came from. "She was asking for you."

Excitement began to build in my chest. The tiny human inside me jumped at the opportunity and kicked repeatedly against my stomach. "I know, I'm happy too." I tenderly rubbed my stomach, speaking directly towards myself as I made my way towards Judith.

I snuck around the bushes after carefully climbing down the hill with Calvin and Lily following. Judith was playing with her stuffed rabbit and several blocks.

"Juddy," I called out for her softly. Her head whipped up and once she saw me, the rabbit was the least of her concerns as she got up from the blanket and ran towards me. "Mommy!"

I kneeled down and caught her in my arms gracefully. "Hi, sweet girl," I smiled wide and repeatedly kissed the side of her face before embracing her in a tight hug. "I missed you so much." Her entire small body curled directly into my arms which made me hold her even tighter.

I gently soothed her curls down, pulling my head back to see her face. "Did you miss me?" She nodded quickly and I offered a soft laugh.

She looked down at my stomach and lightly poked it with her finger. "Baby?"

"Baby is still there," I nodded. "But guess what?" I reached into my back pocket and pulled out the photo from the ultrasound, holding it in front of us. "You're going to have a little sister — isn't that exciting?"

"Yeah." She sat back down on the blanket and immediately offered me her rabbit. "Oh! Mr. Rabbit?" I took him gratefully and gave him a quick hug. "You love him, he's your best friend," I smiled wide and handed him back. "Juddy, I want you to meet some important people." She gazed up at me then turned to the figures lingering behind me.

I looked over my shoulder and happily gestured for Calvin and Lily to move closer. "Judith, these are mommy's new doctors — Calvin and Lily. They're going to take care of all of us but most importantly to make sure your little sister arrives safely."

Lily slowly kneeled down beside me, extending her hand out towards my daughter. "Hi, Judith. I'm Doctor Lily — it's nice to meet you." I gazed over at the woman and saw the flicker of tears ghosting her eyes.

Judith held out her rabbit towards the woman and I laughed immediately. "She doesn't go anywhere without Mr. Rabbit — that's her guy. And she's really good at telling people's auras, so she must sense something good in you." I gently placed my hand on the woman's back before carefully standing back on my feet with the help of Calvin.

I stepped backwards and allowed Lily and Judith room to get acquainted. "She needed this," Calvin whispered in my direction while crossing his arms over his chest. "It helps build the motivation she needs to help others."

"I'm sorry." I looked up at him and he nodded, still smiling while watching his wife. "Maybe one day we'll get lucky — adopt, or something. But it wasn't in our cards yet."

"I think you'd love to meet Carl," I smiled. "I'll go find him. I'll be right back." I climbed up the small hill carefully and made my way towards Michonne and Daryl while they held a conversation. "Has anyone seen Carl? I haven't seen him since I got home."

Michonne turned to me, nodding towards one of the houses. "Think he's in his hiding spot. He's been a little quiet lately — could use a little encouragement from his mom." She smiled in my direction and I nodded knowingly. "Be safe if you guys are going out there."

I climbed the stairs inside the second house and made my way towards the empty bedroom where Carl and the other kids usually hid away to sleep or spend time alone.

I softly used my knuckles to knock on the door, the object opening slightly at my presence and allowing me entry. My gaze immediately found Carl, who was sitting in the corner of the room writing several letters and folding them in a neat pile.

"Hey, kid." I leaned my shoulder against the door frame and offered him a smile. "What are you up to?"

He quickly looked up at me before shuffling the papers and putting them in a pile. "Nothing — journaling."

"Okay." I smiled wider and moved into the room, taking a seat beside him on the floor. I didn't want to pry, but I also didn't have the chance to tell him about the baby — I was eager to show him the ultrasound. "I wanted to show you something."

"Yeah?"

I pulled the photo back out of my pocket and handed it over to him. "You're going to have another little sister, big brother."

He hesitantly took the photo in the grasp but I caught the smile stretching across his lips. "Wow," he muttered softly. "You were right."

"I'm always right." I shrugged happily and he laughed. "Mothers intuition, huh?" I nodded before playfully nudging him with my elbow, causing him to laugh again. "Did you and dad decide on names yet?"

I shook my head. "Not yet, I have one idea but I'm unsure."

He continued staring at the photo, not meeting my gaze but offered another nod with his smile faltering. "Can you tell me?"

I pulled my legs towards my chest, as far as my stomach would allow me to. "Judith has been reminding me a lot of my younger self lately. She's attached to that stuffed rabbit of hers and it got me thinking." I laced my fingers together around my legs while peering down at him. "I had a doll named Adaline. I was eight when I started calling her Adaline June."

"Adaline June Grimes," he whispered softly with his fingers tightening around the photo. "I think it's perfect — " he finally lifted his gaze to meet mine but I took notice of the tears forming in his eye. "You should call her that."

He held the photo in front of me and I frowned, taking it from him. "Is everything okay?"

I watched as he nodded quickly and focused his attention on the door in front of us. "Yeah, I just want to get through this fight."

"Me too," I agreed with a heavy exhale. "And it will end." He leaned his head against my shoulder and I immediately leaned my own over top of his. "Soon."

"Let's do a check up once a day, I want to make sure your vitals are good and that the baby is okay." Lily began jotting things down on her notepad as we walked out of the house with Calvin trailing behind us. I just finished my first appointment with the couple, going over basic needs that will have to be met the last three months. "Once I'm sure you're back on track we can start spreading out the appointments."

"Okay, I can probably come over every morning after breakfast." I offered.

The three of us stood in a small circle and Calvin crossed his arms over his chest before speaking. "Afternoon might be better, give you and the baby a chance to move around during the day. We want to see how your daily intake on food and sleep is — keep track of everything you're doing so we're not missing anything."

"It's going to be a pain, but I want to know for sure that you're doing well." Lily nodded in agreement, offering a smile. "We're going to have everything documented. We brought everything necessary for the delivery so we don't want you or Rick concerned about the process. These final three months are going to move by quickly."

I held in a heavy inhale, slowly nodding my head while rubbing my stomach. "Let's hope so."

Something at the front gate of Alexandria clanged against the metal — instantly shooting a random chill down my spine. The three of us turned to the direction of the sound and my heart practically stopped beating in my chest when I heard Negan's voice.

"You may be wondering why the hell your lookouts didn't sound the alarm. See, we are polite.I mean, I don't know when they're gonna wake up from that kinda shot, but they should wake up. So let's just cut through the cow shit — you lose. It's over." I circled both of my arms over my stomach. Both Lily and Calvin shifted towards me protectively but we didn't have the capability to move away while we listened. "So you're gonna line up in front of your little houses, and you're gonna work up some apologies, and then the person with the lamest one is gonna get killed. Then I kill Rick in front of everybody, and we move on. You have three — count 'em, three minutes to open this gate, or we start bombing the shit out of you!"

"Sienna!" Daryl called out to me somewhere from behind and suddenly he was holding my shoulders, spinning me around. "Come on, let's go."

I nervously followed my friend but urged the couple to tag along. "What's going on? Why are they here? I thought you guys — "

"Yeah," he muttered but didn't speak about it further as he guided the three of us towards the group.

Carl was busy digging out weapons and supplies from the back of the truck as he spoke out loud. "We need to make it look like we're escaping out back. Get to the woods, halfway to the quarry, and cut the lights. Get enough of a lead on them, hit them, and get away on foot." He was in the middle of shoving explosives into his bag before turning around. "You know where we'll be. Just have to get the guns, get everyone else here, and we'll meet you there."

"Two minutes, people!" Negan called out and I whipped my head around towards the front gate again. "Dig deep. I want these apologies to be memorable. Bonus points for creativity — work up a poem, sing a song. I love that shit!"

Carl turned to Tobin. "Get going. There's gonna be people in the infirmary. They're gonna need your help." Negan continued to whistle behind us and I turned to Lily and Calvin. "You should go help the others with the infirmary, I hate to put you both at work already but you offered to help and we need your help."

Lily and Calvin shared a silent but worried glance. Daryl shuffled anxiously beside me and nodded towards the couple. "She's my priority now, do what you gotta do and I'll keep an eye on Sienna."

Lily nodded slowly, "Okay. Okay, but Sienna, please don't push yourself. You know you can't — "

"I know," I responded gently, ushering them to follow after Tobin. "Please help them and we'll catch up immediately after." I watched the couple jog after the others and turned back to my family as Tara spoke up. "Look, we got guns. We can fight them!"

"We will," Rosita nodded. "But not now. Carl's right."

Michonne stepped forward. "Carl, we can't just let them have this place."

"We can," I responded softly with a steady exhale. "We have to," Carl agreed. "All you need to do is survive tonight. This is my show. You said it — this is my plan, and you're gonna do it. You're all gonna do it. So let's go!" I watched as he turned in the opposite direction, anxiety pulling at my chest as I watched his small figure slowly disappear into the night.

"One minute!"

"Sienna." Daryl spoke my name with a warning tone. "You're coming with me to the truck, you stick beside me no matter what."

I finally turned to my best friend and nodded my head slowly. "Okay, first I need to grab something from the house. It's for the baby — if anything happens, I don't want to leave without it."

His gaze didn't shift away from mine, studying me silently to himself before accepting. "Alright. Make it quick."

I watched him turn away and jog after the others to gather the big trucks. Once he was out of sight and the others were confirmed busying themselves with removing supplies and things from the infirmary — I quickly spun around and started running towards the front gate.

"I mean, was this the plan? Was it supposed to be this way? Is this who you wanted to be?" I heard Carl's voice the closer I got to the front — spotting him standing on top of the perch to speak with Negan while the others were making their exit out of Alexandria.

Something at the other end of Alexandria exploded, insinuating the trucks drove straight through the back walls.

"Son of a bitch, Carl! Was that just a play?!" I quickly looked back at the gate with pure adrenaline flooding through my system as I watched Carl anxiously climb down the ladder. "I thought we were havin' a moment, you little asshole! Bombs away!"

His footing slipped the moment he saw me and he fell off the ladder, landing directly on his back. "Mom," his soft voice carried over Negan's shouting before cannons standing going off and things building us began exploding.

I quickly rushed over and leaned down, hastily pulling him back to his feet. "I'm here baby. I'm right here." I used my strength to pull him up to his feet and gently cradled his face in my hands. "What do we do? Tell me what to do, Carl!"

He picked up his hat and the bag he filled with his own explosions. "Okay, okay — uhm," he nervously fished inside the bag and handed me one explosion while taking another for himself. "Help me! We need to let off the smoke bombs so they can't see!"

I nodded my head eagerly and did as he instructed. I pulled the ring off the spoke bomb in my grasp and tossed it to the ground, reaching for another that he offered. "Follow me!" He started moving backwards while the both of us continued simultaneously tossing the bombs towards the ground. It created enough visual blockage so Negan and the saviors couldn't spot us when they burst through the front gate.

The church across the street suddenly exploded — immediately bursting into flames and I flinched backwards into Carl's arms. "Be careful!" He called out nervously and another cannon went off, hitting the car directly in front of us.

"Carl!" I reached for him instinctively just as he grabbed ahold of me before we both went down. I covered my head with my arms just as he hovered his own body over mine like a shield.

I gently pushed him off and rolled over on my side, grabbing his arms again to get us both to our feet. "Come on," I insisted while coughing from inhaling a large amount of smoke. "We keep moving!"

He grabbed my hand tightly once we got to our feet and we raced to one of the houses. A sharp pain — a similar feeling to a knife splitting me open hit me directly in the lower back, causing me to let out a painful cry.

I dove to the porch steps, kneeling down with my right hand holding the area that hurt the most. Carl was at my side instantly while he breathed sporadically. "What is it!?" I shook my head quickly, furrowing my eyebrows together tightly to try and force the pain away with encouragement.

"Is it the baby!?" Panic filled his voice instantly but I shook my head again, hoping to calm him. "I'm fine — I'm fine, we're fine," I insisted softly just when the pain began to lessen.

One of the windows at the house we were standing by shattered and we both instantly sat up straighter. My gaze fell on the front door and suddenly Carl grabbed my shoulders, a small 'no' falling from his lips before he forced me back on my feet. "We gotta move!"

I didn't have a chance to react or gather my breathing when he started yanking us away from the house as quickly as possible. I used my free arm to hold under my stomach and the sudden pain returned, this time less painful than the first but it still caused tears to blur my vision.

The house behind us and the two houses next door exploded behind us and I could instantly feel the heat on my back.

The loud ringing in my ears from the nonstop explosions caused my jaw to lock tightly. I wanted to vomit from the mixture of pain and adrenaline coursing through my body but I continuously chanted in my mind that we were going to be okay. It's all I could do — I needed to get us both to safety and I wasn't leaving him behind.

The font gate of our community exploded open and the sound of large trucks drove straight through the opening.

Fresh tears continued to form on my bottom lash line as I anxiously looked around us. My hand gripped Carl's tighter as I took in the sights in front of us. Everything was on fire, spoke was filling our lungs, and the darkness made it incredibly hard for us to see even with the growing flames.

"Here, here!" Carl insisted with a tug of my hand, guiding me to a specific area near the grass. I anxiously watched him pull out two more canisters, pulling off the clips and tossing them on the ground around us.

"Carl?" I tiredly spoke, wrapping my arms around my stomach as I watched him kneel down in front of a manhole. "Get in, quick!" He reached for my hand and helped me step down into the sewers carefully. I could hear the savior's above ground but held my breath while I watched Carl crawl in and place the manhole back over our heads.

"Is this — " I quietly looked around us before Carl started guiding me towards a specific passageway. "Everyone is waiting," he insisted gently.

I followed his lead and Immediately discovered our friends waiting for us inside the large sewer drains. Calmness took over me when I spotted Daryl holding Judith protectively in his arms. Rosita, Tara, Lila, Drew — they were all here, including my new doctors, Tobin, and Dwight.

There was another man sitting on a small cot at the very end of the tunnel — someone I didn't recognize but didn't question as Carl brought me closer.

"This is Siddiq — I saved his life," he tiredly explained while positioning himself carefully on the ground.

I gave the man a quick nod before kneeling down in front of Carl. "You did this," I whispered softly to him. "We're all here. You saved us all, Carl." I reached for him with tears forming in my eyes and he eagerly accepted my hand in his once more. "You did so good."

He nodded slowly while taking the hat off his head and placing it on his lap. "I tried my best." His gaze shifted over my shoulder, "I brought him here." I turned quickly and saw Rick with Michonne standing behind me. A sigh of relief escaped me like a tidal wave when Rick leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

"You're okay," Rick insisted to the both of us — like he was sure of himself entirely. He looked worse than any of us and I knew he might've had a run in with Negan or one of the saviors.

I turned back to Carl as he slowly began lifting his flannel, peeling off a bloody bandage that covered a large bite mark on his stomach. "That's how it happened," he spoke softly.

Every single cell in my body stopped moving and suddenly I was no longer here mentally. As if my entire spiritual form disconnected from me like a wire. My gaze slowly lifted from the bite mark as he was covering it back up, I watched the tears silently roll down his cheeks and I quickly grabbed Rick's arm. I needed balance, I needed something to keep me positioned upwards before I passed out.

I opened my mouth wanting to speak, but a sharp pain jabbed directly into my lower back and sent me hunching forward with a painful cry. Everyone around us jumped to their feet. I choked it back as much as possible — swallowing the scream threatening to curl up my throat.

Warm fresh tears streamed down my face while I hovered my hand over the same spot that was inflicting pain shortly before we came down here.

Although Rick and Michonne tried to tend to whatever I was experiencing — I couldn't react properly to my own pain because all I felt was the devastation of a heartbreak. It felt as if someone shot me directly in the chest.

My baby — my boy, Carl.