Beck

I'm so lost right now.

It's Christmas day and tomorrow my mom and I will travel back to the reservation. It's going to be my first time back since I left last Summer when my father "seemed" to be out to get me.

I don't want to sound dramatic, but I was literally bleeding at one point from wolf bites. Yes, I do mean to say there were multiple bites on my skin from a live fully transformed werewolf.

Oh how the tides have changed. Now I can transform myself into one if I want to.

But the trip is not why I am confused right now. I knew my mom would have to return to see her mate soon and since the both of us are on break - she's a teacher's assistant, so when the school is on break, so is she - it seemed likely that she'd take this opportunity for us to return together.

She already had to return during Thanksgiving week because of my father's sudden illness. But now she's taking me with her. I can't complain about it because my mom has been my rock throughout this whole process, including being so supportive of my double mating.

I genuinely need to be there for her this time around. Plus, it will be nice to see my people again, my family. I am feeling good about this, though I'm still a little worried about my father and how he's going to react when we arrive at the reservation.

After the whole argument last night when my mother revealed that Quentin had asked for her permission to join us on the trip, I don't know whether or not my mates have any chance in going along with me and my mom.

That's what's throwing my head in a loop. And to top it all off, both of them have been radio silence since last night. Not a call, text or mind link from Jude or Quentin.

Now I know yesterday's events were rather traumatic. I know the twins are feuding right now because of it. And I also should have known better than to leave Jude's name out of the proposition but I was just relaying Quentin's question to my mom.

I genuinely didn't act out of malice. By all means, let both of them travel with me. Like Mrs. Atwood, I have no preference between twins. Regardless of their 'marking' status.

I know I refused to let Quentin mark me and I stand by that decision. I'm not entirely sold on him just yet, but I can't deny our sexual chemistry. For a 'straight' boy, he was so good.

After breakfast this morning, my mom and I went to her cousin's house for lunch. It's our family away from the reservation, so we like to keep a close bond. Especially considering it's Christmas.

The Hudsons were welcoming to us, as always. Kingsley was looking happy by his mate's side - Dragomir came in today to spend Christmas day with his mate - and all of the family was happy we stopped by.

Between a belated gift exchange - I got a present from Kingsley's mom, a blouse - and eating their leftovers from yesterday, I almost forgot about my mates' absence. But seeing my cousin and Jalensky together in bliss reminded me of how much I like to be near my mates.

If they're not coming with me to the reservation, the trip won't be the same. But I know the decision lies with their parents now. I'm sure the Alpha couple is debating the pros and cons.

Before I forget, Jalensky gifted his mate the new iPhone. He was all show and tell when I asked him about what he had gotten. In fact, I don't think Kingsley has ever been happier since he's been mated to Dragomir.

You should have seen them together. It's quite literally a match made in heaven. Jalensky is so attentive to his mate and wants to make him happy. It's so beautiful to see that it brings tears to my eyes. Not gonna lie, I'm missing my boys like crazy right now.

I know I shouldn't feel jealous of them. I have nothing to complain about in the mate department. I never wished for a rich guy and buying me expensive gifts is not what would bring me joy. I genuinely mean that.

It's just that seeing the attention and tenderness in which Jalensky treats Kingsley is causing me to experience all the feels. It's so nice to see the once brute and obnoxious boy to be all lovey dovey with the sweet omega.

I'm emotional right now witnessing their love for each other. The most pure form of love, devoid of conflict or drama. They are just there for the other. It 's heartwarming.

After I left the Hudson residence, I asked my mom to drop me off at the Atwoods. I needed to see my mates. I feel so vulnerable right now. And if today is all I have with them until next year... GASP!

I cannot believe today could be the last day of the year I'd see my mates. This is so not what I expected out of my school break. I thought there would be a lot more sex. *blush*

I'm welcomed by Luna and she smiled at me with her customary southern belle charm.

"Good afternoon, Beck. My sons are in Jude's room." - She informed me.

"Both of them?" - I gasped in shock.

"Yes, last time I checked." - She replied in a playful tone. Her mate is inside the kitchen, so I make sure to greet him too.

"Well, I hope both of them are still alive after what happened yesterday." - I snickered, uncomfortably.

"Actually they have been surprisingly mature since then. I think they're coming together." - She told me with a mildly suspicious expression on her face.

"Thank Goddess, ma'am. I hope they are. It was nice to see you both." - I said, making my way upstairs.

Jude's bedroom door was ajar, so my mates scented my presence before I even stepped foot on the upstairs floor. Quentin appeared at the entrance and opened the door for me to enter his brother's room.

I walked inside intrigued about what they were discussing and mighty curious to find out what Quentin is doing here in his brother's room. He never comes here, as far as I'm concerned.

"Hi, mate. How nice of you to come visit us." - He greeted me with a pleasant smile. Meanwhile, Jude gestures for me to take a seat on his bed.

"Well, it has been almost twenty four hours since we've seen each other, so I figured I came to check in on my mates to see if you were still alive." - I spoke in a humorous tone, glancing at them.

"Right. I'm sorry for my part in the mess. I should have been more considerate of my brother and included him on the proposal." - Quentin apologized, sounding remorseful.

"It's fine. I share some of the blame too. I should have never put forth a plan that didn't include my other mate. But what are you two doing here?" - I wondered, intrigued.

If this was a "normal" family, this scene wouldn't be such a shock. But these brothers have been at each other's throats since I met them, so... I'm intrigued.

"We noticed how uncomfortable you were last night when the both of us were trying to get closer to you, so we gathered around to try to figure out a solution for us to share you in a way neither of us makes you feel uncomfortable." - Quentin explained, mildly awkward.

"Oh, I see... It's not like I didn't want to get closer to you guys last night, but I was trying to avoid seeming like I was favoring one mate in detriment of the other. I didn't want to hurt either of your feelings." - I told them, blushing from the awkward topic.

"We know, Beck. That's why my brother had the brilliant idea of discussing how we can share you without making it seem like one mate is benefiting from the relationship more than the other." - Jude explained to me. I was really surprised by this. And it was Quentin's idea? Gasp!

"Right..." - I breathed out a sigh. - "It's actually not a terrible idea, but no decision should be made without my opinion. I'm the one who is mated to the two of you." - I stated, raising my eyebrow at them.

"Of course, mate. We were going to run everything by you after we came to a consensus, but the negotiations have come to a standstill." - Jude told me, glaring at his brother.

"And what was the point neither of you are willing to concede on?" - I questioned them, intrigued but also willing to make this work and solve the issue.

Both of them blushed before me and I can already sense it is a delicate matter.

"Guys, come on. What is it? I think we can establish at this point that there shouldn't be any taboos among us. Not now that I've been intimate with Quentin as well." - I declared, a bit annoyed. Jude was taken aback by my statement, but we're past this now. It is what it is.

"Jude feels like he should have the nights with you because he is the marked mate, but I disagree. It's not because you didn't allow me to mark you that you wouldn't want to spend the night with me." - Quentin blurted in one go, uncomfortable by this.

"I agree with you, Quentin. I think the fairest thing we can do is to alternate evenings whenever it is possible for me to sleep with [either of] you. I'm sorry, Jude. You know I love you, but I can't deny my other mate from sharing my bed as well. Even if we just cuddle." - I said, feeling a bit disappointed by him that he'd be so petty.

"Fine, mate. But I get first dibs if we go to the reservation with you." - Jude pouted, bratty.

"Who's to say my father is gonna let me sleep with either of you? Even if you came, he's definitely making you two share the guest bedroom." - I sassed, causing them both to gasp in shock at the revelation.

"What? But we are your mates!?!" - Jude cried out, revolted.

"I know it. The Chief knows it too. But all bets are off when we get into his territory." - I spoke, feeling disheartened.

"He wouldn't do that if your mate was a girl. It 's not fair. Can we get a hotel?" - Quentin protested.

"There isn't any at the reservation, mate. And even if we could, your father is not gonna pay for a week stay for the both of you. Our best bet is for him to allow me to share my bed with one mate. At best." - I spoke, cautioning them.

I need them to manage their expectations. This is not going to be like our trips to Austin or Dallas when we were alone and could do whatever we wanted. That's not gonna fly with the Chief, I already know it.

However, Quentin does make an excellent point. My father can't prohibit me from sleeping with [one of] my mate. Because if I were mated to a girl, he certainly wouldn't make any objection. And I detest hypocrisy. I am not a second class citizen, nor are my mates.

"Do you know if your parents are going to give their permission? The clock is ticking." - I asked my mates, since we're only conjecturing about the trip if they don't.

"My father was supposed to call yours to ask for his permission." - Jude informed me and I gasped.

"Really?" - I was baffled by this turn of events.

"Yeah, I don't know if he already did that or not. We have been sequestered here for hours trying to come to a consensus." - Jude told me, sounding very worried. Quentin looked troubled as well.

"If it is up to my father, I don't like your chances. I can't lie." - I blurted, feeling terrible about the separation. I'm gonna miss them like crazy.

Both of my mates lowered their heads in dreadful sadness. I felt so bad for them. I think it would be a great chance for them to get to know the world I come from. It'd be sad for them to miss it.

"Well, best of luck to all of us. Now I need to get home to pack my bag because my mom is leaving right after breakfast tomorrow. It's a very long drive." - I declared, getting up from the bed and making my way out of the bedroom.

"Do you need a ride home?" - Jude offered, quickly.

"I do, actually." - I replied, appreciatively.

"If this is our last night of the year, can I sleep with you tonight?" - Quentin proposed to me in a bold move, causing his brother to gasp in shock.

"I'm so sorry, Quentin. I'd take you up on your offer, but I can't have a repeat of what happened in Dallas. It's too painful for my arm and my wolf. I'm sure you can agree." - I declined, feeling his disappointment in my core.

"We don't need to..."

"I'm not sure I can resist you, mate. I really am sorry." - I cut him off, disheartened.

I know he's not a piece of meat, but for now I can't trust myself to be inside a room alone with him. Not unless I want a repeat of what happened in Dallas. Ironically, I want it so bad but my arm can't take it twice nor can my wolf be fooled again.

The three of us walked out of the room and climbed down the stairs to find the Alpha couple waiting for them in the living room.

"Boys, I called Kuckunniwi's father. I have his response." - Alpha Geoffrey announced, causing the boys to get wide-eyed in anticipation. Luna was looking at us attentively, standing beside her mate.

"What? What did he say? Did he say we could go?" - Quentin was the first to speak, positively dying to know the answer.

"He said only the accepted mate could go..." - Alpha Geoffrey replied, leading up to something before he was interrupted by his son.

"What? NO!" - Quentin cried out, completely broken by this.

"Calm down, son. I told him it was either the both of you or no one. I'm not going to divide my sons from their mate." - Alpha stated, angrily.

"Oh." - The three of us gasped at this turn of events. Good for you, sir.

"Unfortunately, he said no. I'm sorry, boys. I tried." - He declared and I watched my mates' hearts break at the same time.

"No!" - They cried out, revolted. Both of them moved to hug me and I was sandwiched between two Alphas. Is it hot in here or is it just me?

"I'm so very sorry, boys. I'm going to talk to my mom as soon as I arrive at the pack house. This is not okay!" - I tried to console them, but they were devastated. I can feel both of their sadness. Especially Jude's, since we're marked.

Quentin was in tears. Jude was in tears. Their mom rushed to comfort her boys who looked devastated. This is so not what I thought would happen. I really thought my father had changed his ways.

I would stay here, but that wouldn't be fair to my mom. I can't go back on my word now. She has sacrificed herself for me and now it's time for me to do the same.

Try as I may, I couldn't walk away from my mates and leave them like this. I was so disheartened by seeing Quentin crying like a baby. It was difficult to witness.

I took out my phone, unblocked my father's number and called him right in the middle of the Atwoods' living room.

"Hello, father. If you want to be part of my life, of your only son, you should learn to respect my mates as well. I did not ask to be in this unique situation. I was selected by the Goddess for both of my mates. Any act of disregard to them is an act of defiance to her. So if you want your only son to come home for the holiday, you'd better talk to Alpha Atwood and tell him it's okay for my mates to come with me. Is that understood?"

I left no crumbs. I am not joking. I am a man of my own now. I am the future Luna of this pack and I won't be segregated from my mates as if they were not worthy of me. Or as if I was not worthy of them.

No, sir. I am Kuckunniwi Becker, first of my name, and I will have my wish.

Did you want the tough guy, father? I'll show you who's tough in this bitch!

You haven't seen half of what I am capable of doing. But if you want to come for me, you'll find me ready for war. And I have a fire in me that is capable of fighting the world for my loved ones.

Your move, father.

You wanted it. You got it. Just be prepared for it because I am coming for you.

How do you like me now?

https://youtu.be/sVzvRsl4rEM

A|N: Wow. Did someone say tension?

Oh my dear readers, you haven't seen tension yet.

There will be blood. But for now...

Merry Christmas!

Love,

Léo.