Quentin

It's not that I can feel when my brother and his mate have sex, I get flash waves of how Beck is feeling. Sad, angry, horny... I get it all. So when he is getting busy with his (other) mate, I am reminded against my will that he is my mate too.

I try to put it out of my mind, naturally. I don't want that image in my head, furthest from it.

But that's not exactly how the mate bond works. It is relentless. I just choose to ignore that kind of feeling for my own personal mental health, that's the Goddess honest truth.

Speaking of which, have you ever heard your parent saying that famous phrase:

'This is going to hurt me more than it'll hurt you.'

It turns out that when my mate is reminded of the terrible things I did to him, I feel his pain. Yeah, exactly. The punching, the kicking, the bullying... everything I put him through I feel it.

It gives a new sense to the saying: 'walk a mile on someone else's shoes'.

I'm not walking on his shoe, I am him walking the damn shoe and I'm not happy about it!

Pain like I never felt before irradiated my body. If this is how I'm feeling without the bond completing connection my brother has, I can only imagine how Jude is feeling...

When you complete the bond, it not only links you to your mate forever, it also strengthens the link between the two souls. For that reason, whatever I feel from my mate, Jude feels it even more intensely.

No wonder the pack has strict laws regarding mates because if you do anything against someone, their mate is gonna feel like it was against them. Even the anger Beck felt towards me, I felt it too.

It's a conundrum, but that's what sustains a mated couple together for decades.

If one is angry, the other will feel it too. If one is sad, the other will comfort. And if one is horny, the other will get too and satisfy that urge. Communication, folks. The secret to a successful relationship.

I'd much rather my mate did not communicate everything that he's going through, but neither of us have choices in the matter. We are werewolves. This is how it goes. That's why when my mother gets sad, so does my dad.

I heard people talking about Kingsley pulling off a heated threesome inside the locker room and my jaw dropped to the floor. Damn! That 's some heat! They weren't even gay, the boys he was kissing. But then again, neither was Bode when he got entangled with a heat stricken omega.

Heat is unforgiving, both to the omega in question and to whoever stands close to them. If you breathe in the pheromones, you're done for. Only other omegas are immune from it. But if you're [mated and] marked, then you can resist it.

Heat isn't supposed to affect mated people because it's meant to attract unattached suitors. And if you're lucky, your own mate to complete the bond. That's when things get really interesting... *naughty grin*

Goddess protects me from this. I may be lonely, that's true, but not to the point of wanting to get an omega pregnant. This child would suffer like Layla did, if not worse by carrying my last name. I'd never live that scandal down and my reputation would be tarnished forever.

No, thanks. I'm not THAT horny. At least, not for now. But still I don't want anyone else.

All I could ever dream is to be close to the sweetest scent I've ever smelled.

My parents have been trying to keep me afloat in regards to my chances for Alpha. Right now is looking more like a long shot. And by long, I mean a mile long. The longest. *sighs*

"How are you doing, my friend? Who would ever think the two of us would end up being the lonely ones in this school?" - Jalensky greeted me on Tuesday morning as he picked me up for school.

"Certainly not me. But you'll still get mated eventually." - I replied in a sour tone.

Though we had our trials and tribulations, he and I stuck together through all the dark times. It wasn't always easy, but we made it through the fire. In fact, I'm really glad to have his friendship at a time when I feel like I have no one else.

"Yeah, if she could discover me as soon as possible it'd be great. I haven't had any in a while." - He breathed out a frustrated sigh.

"Tell me about it!" - I grunted, equally frustrated. Who would have thought we'd relate on so many levels? Though I'd much rather I wouldn't, to be perfectly frank with you. Especially after Cassie got mated away from me, though right now it doesn't bother me as much.

Not like being rejected and watching my mate being happy with somebody else.

This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to crave me until he submits.

Now I'm the only one stuck here. Constantly craving his attention and affection.

https://youtu.be/tTx7XHqKYgk

I'm trying to put on a brave face for my best friend, but I'm failing miserably.

By the time Jalensky parks the car at school I'm sobbing. He realizes what's happening and comforts me in a warm embrace from his driver's seat.

"It'll be fine, my friend. He'll come to you eventually." - He consoled me.

"How? If he's too busy with his other mate frolicking, fucking and being happy?" - I snapped, angrily.

There wasn't anything he could say to that, so he just stayed with me until I felt better. Though we don't have that kind of time before the bell rings, I pull my shit together and dry my own tears of sadness and frustration.

Later on...

"So, are you trying for a second chance on your first time?" - I asked Owen, considering he was cock blocked by someone narcking on him to his parents.

"Yes, but this time I'm not gonna talk about it. The walls have ears." - He replied, suspiciously.

"Good for you my friend. If you need my help beating up whoever did it, I'm available. I may have been insensitive in the past, to put it lightly, but I'd never do this to anyone." - I told him, troubled.

"I don't think you should risk your face again against her talon." - He snickered, getting me wide-eyed at the traumatic recent memory.

"It wasn't me who sent the damn email! You can fuck her until you discover you're mates for all I care!" - Layla shouted at him, defensively. Blaine glanced at her, concerned.

Elaine wasn't buying this, judging by her furious gaze at Layla. Owen was rather amused by this.

"I'm not gonna lie, I wish one of them got mated already so we can sort this out. Even though I'm pretty sure none of them are going to, not this month at least." - My mate interjected, feeling bad about the situation.

"The closest birthday among them is Layla's. I guess we'll have to wait and see." - Jude responded, sounding troubled by the messy business.

"Unless Owen gets mated to Kingsley next Friday." - Beck joked, causing the shy boy to blush inside the classroom.

"If there's one boy in this entire school I'm confident about his sexuality is Owen. He's not gonna be mated to another boy. That much is clear." - Jude rebuked. Not that this bothered Owen at all, in fact he laughed at it.

"I know, mate. That was a joke." - Beck rolled his eyes. Layla was not particularly amused by any of this, but he didn't lie. She's the closest to get mated among the four of them.

"Can you imagine if 'peasant' gets mated to one of the boys he was kissing yesterday?" - I commented with a devious grin.

"Can you imagine if I plunge my talons deep into your chest and you bleed out? Leave my cousin alone!" - Beck growled at me, raging. - "And his name is Kingsley!"

"At least if you killed me I wouldn't feel this way! Do as you must!" - I retorted, vulnerably.

Beck kept staring at me not knowing what to say to that.

Now that Layla is suspended from the wrestling team, it's not as fun for me if you can believe it. I know I give her a hard time, but it's like those bickering odd couples you like to see on TV. Except there is no sexual tension between us whatsoever. I barely see her as a female, but that's less important now that I'm mated. To a guy.

My face is already healed from yesterday, thankfully. I really meant when I said I didn't hurt her on purpose. But my brother asking her to be his Beta really got to me, I can't lie.

"Are you disappointed about not being Beta?" - I asked Dragon during lunch break.

"Not really, no. It would only be fun if you were Alpha. I'm sure my parents will be happy that I can go to college and work for them instead." - He replied, not really bothered about it.

"I can't wait to go to college as well. At least there will be humans for me to play with." - I said, feeling frustrated.

"I still need to know where my mate is gonna go, but I hope she and I get accepted to the same university." - Jalensky spoke, preoccupied.

"I hope you apply to all of them. At least, take advantage of the fact that you can afford to go anywhere." - I advised him, cautiously.

"Yeah, good advice. Goddess knows when I'll get mated." - He breathed out a stressful sigh.

On Wednesday, when I arrived at school my brother and our mate were on a corner kissing. I rarely envy him, but that scene made me feel some type of way. Mainly jealous.

I remembered that song from Labyrinth where he says he's jealous of everything regarding his beloved and I suddenly found that to be so relatable. I'm not only jealous of Jude, I wish I were the linen that covers Beck's body when he's cold.

I wish I was the soap that touches his body, cleaning wherever it passes, but mainly having access to areas that I'll never get to see. I will never even see my own mate in the nude.

I'm so jealous of Jude.

The couple caught me staring at them, so I hastily walked to the classroom embarrassed to be staring. I didn't ask to be mated to my brother's mate. I have no other choice than to want what he has.

This isn't fun for me. On the contrary, it's a humiliation I never thought I'd have to endure.

It's only November, but I'm craving some type of break from school. And at the same time, I can't stand to be away from him. I know, right? I can't get a grip for the life of me...

This is so mortifying.

I blushed inside the classroom, trying to hide away from them. It's impossible, of course, but I wish it wasn't.

"Everything that you're feeling is normal, Q. You're supposed to want to be with your mate, even if you were rejected. You're not anymore of a weirdo than the rest of us are. And you have the right to have your feelings validated. It's okay to be jealous of your brother, it's normal to want Beck." - Owen told me in a serene tone.

I gasped at his words, turning everybody's attention to me. Normally, I love attention but not in this scenario. Beck and Jude also stared at me.

"Thanks, Owen. I really appreciate it. You're such a great guy. It's no wonder you're being disputed by two girls." - I said, recognizing what an amazing boy he is.

"I'm not disputing anyone. I have a boyfriend who I really like, for fucks' sake." - Layla glared at me, fuming.

"I never said your name." - I defended myself, causing Jalensky to laugh at the self incriminating act by her.

On Thursday, I walked straight to the classroom to avoid catching them both kissing, but to my surprise Beck was sitting on Jude's lap making out with him. These two exist in their own reality, not a care in the world.

Oh great. That 's even better. It's ironic that I never wanted to see two men doing stuff in front of me and now I wish I were the one doing it.

Payback is a bitch.

And now so am I, apparently. I'm Beck's bitch, a wimp for him. I cannot fight him, I cannot resist him. All I can do is to wish I was my brother like I was Matt Damon in "The Talented Mr. Ripley."

I know, right? What a reference. Let's just say I've been having a lot of time to kill recently, so movie nights are a thing for me now.

"Wow. I've never felt someone wanting me this bad." - Beck commented, mouth dry and pupils dilated.

"It's not my fault you're so hot." - Jude snickered, playfully gazing at him.

"He meant the other mate." - Owen interjected with a devious grin.

At this, Jude turned to glance at me who looked guilty at him.

"This will never be less awkward..." - Layla commented with an uncomfortable expression.

"It's still less awkward than someone sending an email to Owen's dad to stop him from sleeping with his girlfriend." - Jude shot back, snarkily.

"Fuck you, J! How the hell was I supposed to discover the Deputy Mayor's email? I already said it wasn't me!" - She barked at him, livid.

Jude was taken aback by her aggressiveness. But I'm not so convinced, to be honest.

"Fine, you didn't do it. It was someone else. Maybe Rachel has a secret crush on Owen." - Jude spoke, causing her to gasp in shock and yell at him for the accusation. Rachel and Elaine are best friends.

And here I thought my mate situation was uncomfortable. A brief silence ensued as the air was thick with suspicious stares and longing exchanges. Mainly me longing after the first and only male I have ever wanted to be close with.

"I never said which dad was emailed." - Owen stated and the crowd gasped in shock.

"Oh my Goddess!" - I saw that coming a mile away, though I wasn't alone.

Blaine stormed out of the classroom and Layla went after him apologizing. Elaine was beside herself angry, but Owen was rather amused by this. He was gloating as if he was the most coveted boy in the school.

Truth be told, he should be. To paraphrase Elaine, he does have a lot going for him, if you're into nerdy boys with inconspicuous muscles hidden in oversized shirts.

By the time the couple returned, it was already another period. Both of them looked estranged from each other. Blaine was positively furious at Layla. Not only he's not getting any action from her, now she doesn't want Owen to get from his own girlfriend?

This is juicier than a telenovela.

Later, Layla apologized to the couple for disrupting their night. She had no right to do so and she did because in her mind he was betraying his vow. Though Owen never said he was saving himself for his mate. At least, not out loud.

I mean, he was in some way. But he's allowed to change his mind. And no one has the right to judge, shame or block him. Least of all her, who rejected him.

"I sort of find it poetic that she wants you to save yourself for your mate. Though I'd never do that to anyone, I can certainly relate to someone wanting that experience for them. In a weird way, I sort of relate to her." - I commented, looking at Owen moments after the final bell rang.

"I think you're a little confused about your own feelings. You don't want to steal your brother's relationship. You want his mate to pop your gay cherry." - He snickered. I glared at him.

"I don't know about that. But I can't help the way I feel about my mate. I want him like the desert needs cactus. I need him like I was starving and he was the only meal that could satisfy me. As if I was parched and only his mouth contained liquid." - I spoke, causing Beck to glance at me spooked.

Beck and Jude walked out of the classroom together. My mate looked uncomfortable about my confession, but I have no reason to hold back. I wish to Goddess he were mine in the same way he is my brother's. It's all I ever think about.

https://youtu.be/L3dPK8tDn6g

A|N: I wanna pity you, Quentin, but you deserve it. Sorry.

Now Layla, my love, make up your damn mind!

Literally wrote this chapter for this song.

Next is called "King".

Love,

Léo.