Beck

It's bad.

My parents' relationship has only deteriorated. I've never seen them quite like this before. They always argued, but my mother hasn't slept in their room for almost two weeks now.

This is unprecedented for mates, I think. Not that I have much experience in such matters, but I'd hazard a guess this is not normal.

It seems like my father is trying to win an arm wrestle against my mother, but neither of them are winning. He is certainly not.

Lately he's been grumpier than ever, if that's even possible. He's been giving me a hard time to apply myself in training, but I already survived a sadistic psycho. I don't know what else he can possibly want from me...

In reality, I have been doing great with my new sparring partner. We really hit it off since he's the closest to my age. For once in my lifetime, I actually stopped dreading going to train every morning.

I still don't like it and would prefer to be doing something else entirely, but it is what it is. I don't have a choice, which is mostly what's getting into my mother's nerves.

She feels unheard of in her relationship. So do I, obviously, but I'm only the son. She is supposed to be an equal partner to him.

I hate to be caught in between them, but that's not my responsibility. I don't have a mate to account to.

All I have right now is my will to live and move forward the best way I can while contemplating how am I ever going to get away from here...

And especially away from my overbearing father.

Sometimes I feel guilty about not wanting to follow in his footsteps, but I can't will myself to want his position. The amount of pressure he's always under is mind-blowing to me.

He has to account for every single life inside the reservation. That's way more than I can handle. I can barely figure out my own life.

I'm only 17 years old. This shouldn't be on me. It's summer. I should be having fun with my friends or making out with some hot unmated boy... *sighs*

It's minutes before noon. I'm currently under my sparring partner as he's teaching me how to escape a choke hold, except he's not really choking me, just pretending.

"You need to disarm me, K. You can't let me have the upper hand and you have minutes before you lose consciousness." - He lectured as his arm wrapped around my neck. He was behind me and I was sweating profusely from the intense workout.

I tried to move his steel like arm, but no dice. He's too strong for me.

"How am I supposed to disarm you if you're behind me? Am I supposed to bite your arm off of me?" - I asked, grunting in annoyance.

He laughed at my question.

"If you could shift, maybe that would be a good idea..." - He smirked and I scowled.

"Thank you for that." - I grunted, angrily. I elbowed him and he winced in pain, releasing me from his arms.

"Ouch!" - He grimaced as I turned around to face him.

"Well, at least I got you away from me, didn't I? I was starting to get too hot!" - I said, fanning myself.

"Yes, that was the objective. But maybe tone it down the force next time. I wasn't really choking you." - He complained, glaring at me.

"Sorry, if you want to cuddle, you should go to your mate." - I snickered. He glared so many daggers at me that I got uncomfortable.

"Do you see any marking on me?" - He asked as he removed his shirt. I blushed seeing his ripped naked torso.

"I'm sorry. I meant no offense, of course." - I apologized, remorsefully.

"It's fine, K. I'm sure she's just taking her time before getting to know me." - He said with a charming smile.

"Of course." - I agreed, trying to make nice with him.

"Speaking of which, how are you supposed to mark your mate if you can't shift?" - He asked, looking puzzled at me.

Damn! I did not think that far.

"I have no idea, to be honest. Maybe he's just gonna have to mark me and be done with it." - I replied, genuinely confused by the notion. I really don't know what I'm gonna do at the time.

"He?" - He frowned at me in confusion, like I'm breaking the news for him.

"Lunch, everyone. Great session today." - My father yelled, sideways glaring at me

"Yeah, he. Shocking, I know..." - I rolled my eyes, breathing out a sigh.

"Well, I'm sure he's gonna love and respect you for the great two spirit warrior that you are." - He said with a pleasant smile.

Wow. That's exactly the type of reaction my father should have, instead of living in eternal denial.

"Thank you. You're gonna make for such a great mate." - I said as we walked out of the training site.

My father waited for the men to leave and as I walked together with my training partner, he approached, grabbing me by the nape of my neck and pulling me back towards him.

"Stop saying you're gonna have a male mate! You're embarrassing yourself!" - He whispered to me, angrily.

"Embarrassing myself or you? Why is it so difficult for you to accept that I'm different from you?" - I protested vigorously.

This made everyone turn around to face us, so my father gestured for people to go on.

"You are NOT different from anyone else in our tribe! Stop making a fuss out of this!" - He chastised me, his grip on my neck was hurting me at this point.

"I'm not making a fuss out of anything! You're hurting me! Stop, father!" - I complained, grimacing from the pain.

"I'll make a man out of you yet! Even if I have to get you a breeding partner!" - He exclaimed, seriously annoyed at me. And his hand is still firm on my neck.

"A what? You're not getting me anything of the sort! I'd rather die!" - I cried out, revolted.

A breeding partner? What the actual fuck is that? Gross! I'd rather die than face this kind of situation...

"I'd rather you die than embarrass me!" - He spit out, eyes glowing in anger.

"The only person embarrassing anyone here is you! Stop trying to convert me into someone I'm not, for the love of Goddess!" - I cried out, revolted.

My neck is really hurting me right now and I tried to get him off of me, protesting.

"You're hurting me! Stop!" - I yelled at him. At this moment we were putting on a show for everyone around us. It's funny how he's the only one who has a problem with my sexuality. Or insists on me having a female mate.

I'd rather have none than a woman, to be honest. I love women with all my heart, but not as a mate.

Once I finally managed to get him off of me, I ran away towards my house. He kept screaming at me, which only added fuel to an even more embarrassing scene.

Honestly, this situation is getting unsustainable. One of these days my father is actually going to kill me. Especially when my mate is revealed, which can happen at any moment between now and my 18th birthday.

It's not like I'm counting out the days, but I know no one can escape the mate bond. Not even someone like me, a non shifter.

Though to be honest, I've never heard of a werewolf who doesn't shift either. People who don't shift are humans, but I don't emit a signature human scent, which is different from werewolves.

I kept running away from my dad. I was already tired from the training, but somehow fear motivated me to run towards the recreational center.

It was a very long distance and by the time I got there, I was nearly passing out from exhaustion.

My mom came to see me immediately and she panicked at seeing the state I arrived there. I was drenched in sweat, completely exhausted, drained of every ounce of energy I had, starving and parched from running under the hot summer day.

"Beck, oh my Goddess, what happened to you? You're shaking like a leaf!" - Mom asked me, getting me a glass of water.

I gulped down thirstily and asked for another one. I'm very parched.

"The Chief wants to kill me! He's talking about getting me a breeding partner, mom! My neck is bruised from his grip!" - I told her, feeling incredibly vulnerable.

"What?!" - She screamed in shock once I showed her the bruised nape of my neck. She's beside herself angry at this abuse and it shows on her face.

"Yeah, mom. He said that he's gonna make a man out of me even if it kills me!" - I said, wrought with emotions. I'm tearing up at the thought and the wild notion that I'm gonna have some random woman mate with me for procreation purposes.

My mom hugged me as she tried to comfort me, telling me she's gonna protect me from all this. But the truth is no one can protect me from the chief, not even her.

After a few minutes, she took me to the cafeteria to get some food as I'm starving right now. She ate too since it was time for her lunch break.

The whole time she kept caressing my hand, keeping me from falling apart as I was a wreck. Just when I thought I was finally doing well under his eyes. I was finally rid of my psycho wrestling partner. I was doing good, but there's nothing I can do if my father refuses to accept me for who I am.

But I'd rather die than let him win. I will NOT be converted into anything I am not. I refuse to give in, to let him get the best of me.

I stayed with my mother in the rec center until the end of her shift. Afterwards, we went home where yet again my parents had a screaming match.

My mother was furious at my father, but when she brought up the breeding partner situation and he tried to defend 'continuity of our bloodline' that's when things got off the rails.

I have never seen my mother so angry like this. Though it pains me to see her mad and fighting my dad because of me, if she doesn't who will?

Tears escaped me uncontrollably as my parents fought like hell over what to do with me. I mean, over what my father wants to do with me.

She said it's highly disrespectful to even consider pairing me up with anyone besides my Goddess given mate. It's a crime against our deity.

I wholeheartedly agree with her. If I'm gonna be paired with anyone not my mate, at the very least it should be my choice.

My mother stormed out of the house and grabbed me by the hands, walking me towards her sister's place.

There, she told me to bunk with my cousin for the night - who was not so pleased at the surprise visit, but did not oppose it in front of his mother or mine - while she talked to her sister.

This situation is growing ever more volatile by the minute. I fear my parents' relationship will never recover from this.

I slept on a mattress tonight, but I couldn't complain about it. I can see this situation is escalating fast and I want to keep quiet so that I don't pile up.

When the morning came, I washed my face and walked to the kitchen to find my mom preparing breakfast with my aunt. She looked rather determined and quietly thinking about something.

I greeted everyone as I came along and took my seat at the table for breakfast.

"How did you sleep last night, sweetie?" - My aunt asked me with an endearing expression on her face.

"I slept well, auntie. Thanks for letting me crash here." - I said, humbly. She caresses my head and says:

"Of course, it was my pleasure. Come by anytime." - She smiled at me. Her son was not as welcoming to me. It's not like we feuded over it, but no one likes their territory invaded, especially werewolves.

But the truth is I slept horribly. Not because of the discomfort of the single mattress, but worried about my parents' deteriorating relationship.

I wish to Goddess my father wasn't such a hard ass, but when it was just about me training, I could understand that. I didn't like it, but I understood where he's coming from. Once the breeding partner was brought up into the conversation, then all bets are off. And any possible logic.

My mom was yet to say something and as the family sat down for breakfast, an uncomfortable stare followed between my aunt and her mate. My cousin detected it too, but kept quiet about it.

After we finished, I asked my mother what I no longer could hold back.

"What are we going to do, mom? What am I supposed to do today?" - I was a nervous wreck, but I had to know. I'm completely in the dark here. For all I know, I have to report to the training site like always

"Son, I need you to be strong and go to your father just like any other day." - She surprised me the most so far.

"What?!" - I gasped in shock at this. I really didn't think she'd fold like this...

"Beck, just do as I say. Stay strong, my love. Your father won't get away with this, I promise you." - She pledged in a dead serious tone.

Legitimately, I'm gobsmacked by her decision. But I have to trust that she knows what she's doing because right now she's my only ally.

"OK, mom. If that's what you want me to do..." - I muttered, a bit disheartened. I lowered my head, dreading the thought of facing that awful man once again.

I stopped by my house to change clothes and he was waiting for me to arrive. He didn't say anything to me, but waited for me to change so we could go together in his car.

The distance from our house to the main office is a good mile, mile and a half, so he usually drives to get there.

Once changed, I got into the car sulking silently as did him. Once he stopped in front of his office, he turned off the car and shifted to gaze upon me.

"I'm sorry for hurting you yesterday. I didn't mean to bruise you. It's just that you drive me crazy with this talk of a male mate..." - He said, not exactly showing remorse.

"You do realize you don't get to pick my mate, right? You can deny all you want, but at the end of the day, it's not gonna be up to you!" - I snapped, already angrily staring at him.

"No one knows if you'll even get assigned a mate since you don't shift." - He argued and I'm baffled by his guile.

"What the hell! So you want to pair me against my will instead?" - I called him out, reading between the lines of his statement.

"Look, son, I want what's best for you." - He tried to reason with me, but I'm not buying.

"What's best for me is to leave it up to the Goddess like everyone else! Not you! If I don't have a saying in who I'm paired with, then you sure as fuck shouldn't have any say either!" - I protested fiercely.

"Watch your language, young man! I'm still your father!" - He reprimanded me, sternly.

"Then act like it!" - I shouted, revolted at him.

My father's eyes glowed in rage, but he said nothing. He got out of the car in silence and marched into his office where I carried on with my duties.

If he thinks he's gonna match me with anyone against my will, he'll have another thing coming. That is never going to happen!

I'm not saying I'm above the Moon Goddess or the mate bond, that's not what this is about. Not even remotely. But last time I checked, he doesn't get to decide who is paired with anyone.

When it came time for my warrior training, my father ordered my sparring partner to shift into a wolf to attack me.

"What?" - I gasped in shock, looking at him incredulously.

"It's past time you learn how to defend yourself against a wolf." - He argued through gritted teeth.

"But I can't even shift into one myself!" - I protested, to no result.

That's it! He really wants to kill me. And my time has come, apparently. I mean, what the actual hell is this? What does he really hope to accomplish from having a real wolf attack me? Why does he want to hurt me? It's not gonna make any straighter.

https://youtu.be/2nXGPZaTKik

A|N: It's a gift to use a classic song by Culture Club.

Sorry, Becks. It's gonna get much worse before it gets better.

Love,

Léo.