Jude

"I do relate to you in many aspects, but I don't pity you. I actually find you to be a formidable boy. I'm in awe of you." - I told Beck, who blushed intensely.

He stared at me, gazing upon my eyes as he got really flustered by my compliment. His eyes wandered as we're sitting down on my bed on opposite sides.

He sees my shirt loosely covering my upper body, sweat trickling down my forehead and the denim shorts I'm wearing exposing my bare legs.

I get the feeling that he didn't want to thirst after me so blatantly, but he couldn't help himself. It is as if he was starstruck by me, when in reality it's quite the opposite.

He licked his lips and they were so darn kissable right about now, not that I have the courage to take advantage of this tender moment.

My heart palpitated inside my chest as he paid attention to every inch of my exposed skin. My arms, legs, neck and ears. I felt so warm all of the sudden, feeling exposed to him as if I was naked.

It's funny because I'm much more covered up than I usually am inside my house, though I'm not that much of a walking around shirtless kind of boy. Not that I'm ashamed of my body in any way.

But somehow he looks at me as if I was naked and I get really flustered. While his eyes wandered around my body, I was laser focused on his highly kissable lips.

After a moment, he realized what he was doing and looked deep into my eyes once again. This is the hottest I've ever felt for someone, especially in such a short amount of time and without almost no skin contact except for a hug.

I popped open a can of coke and handed his to do the same. I'm feeling very thirsty now. I dropped some cola on my shirt accidentally and Beck stared at me as I tried to clean it up unsuccessfully.

I finished the coke and a few droplets dripped down my mouth. Beck watched attentively the liquid dripping down as if he wanted to lick it off of me. The room was filled with pheromones as if either one of us were in heat.

"I have access to the country club, so if you want to take a swim in a pool, I could take you there." - I tried to distract ourselves from the sexual tension filling up the room.

He was surprised by my suggestion, widening his eyes at me.

"Wow. That does sound nice. But what if we went to the waterfalls instead? I'm yet to visit the famed place and the forecast this weekend is optimal for it." - He proposed with a disarming smile.

I thought about it for a second. The last time I went there it didn't turn out so well for me. But if Quentin doesn't come, I shouldn't be in any danger.

"It's a date." - I agreed. As I said that, he got shocked and blushed at the implication behind my words.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm happy to go as friends." - I amended, flustered.

Beck seemed to be disappointed by that, which is a total contrast to what he felt just a second ago. This whole dynamic is throwing me off. I don't know how to act around him.

"Of course, friends." - He spoke, trying to mask his disappointment.

I looked at him in silence for a while, trying to read him but all I got was flustered by his intense gaze and wandering eyes.

"Can I offer you something else? Are you hungry? Do you want some ice cream?" - I stuttered, nervously trying to distract myself from wanting to jump on him.

"Not really, thanks. I'm going to return to the pack house for dinner soon." - He declined politely. It was then when I realized how late in the afternoon it was. In fact, it was already nightfall.

"Oh right. I completely lost track of time." - I said, looking at the alarm clock on my nightstand.

"Is it okay if we meet up after breakfast tomorrow? I want to get to the waterfalls early. I mean, ish." - I asked him in a chipper tone.

"Sure, I'll be ready for you. But if you have other plans, we can go some other time. I don't want to monopolize your entire weekend." - He said, shyly.

"No, I don't have other plans. I'll be happy to take you. In fact, I'm gonna check if Lay wants to go too. Is that okay?" - I inquired, sounding excited at the prospect. Though he didn't exactly seem enthusiastic about the idea.

"Sure... the more the merrier." - He faked a polite smile.

We spend an extended period of time staring at each other intensely, then his eyes wander once again as he studies my body and I feel a rush of my blood diverting to nether regions.

"Great. It 's settled then. I'm gonna take you home now before your mother scolds you for being late for dinner." - I said, getting up from the bed. He smiled at me and did the same.

As I stood up, I was pitching a massive tent that had him looking away from me in embarrassment. I blushed so hard I wished I could dig a hole to hide myself from him.

"I'm sorry for that. It has a life of its own sometimes." - I apologized, flustered.

I tried to hide the monster in my pants while Beck looked in another direction, now examining the room.

"You have a lovely room." - He commented, looking around the place.

"Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. I hope you come visit me more often." - I spoke, flirtatiously.

"Of course, you're a very good host." - He smiled at me and I swooned.

Shortly after, we walked out of the room towards the front door. My brother and his friends were all drinking and talking in the backyard, so they weren't on sight. I accompanied Beck all the way out of the house, then we got into my car.

I drove to the pack house where I walked inside, thanking him for the wonderful visit. He told me he was the one who should thank me for rescuing him from a boring weekend. I laughed at that and said I felt exactly the same.

Then I drove back to my house where the six of them were still out in the backyard having fun. I quietly walked upstairs and took a long relaxing shower. It's so hot today and I needed it.

When I returned to my bedroom, I was surprised to see Dragomir there standing. He looked somewhat pissed off and I walked right past him as if he wasn't there. Still wrapped in a towel, I opened my wardrobe to pick out some clothes for me to wear.

"How was the date?" - He inquired in a snarky tone, still standing near the door.

"It wasn't a date, though I fail to see why that should be any of your business." - I replied in a foul mood.

"Wow. That's some mouth on you. What happened? He didn't want to hook up with you?" - He asked as if he was a friend asking about my life, though he was doing a poor job of hiding a smirk as if somehow he's gloating over my date supposedly not having gone well.

"Again, it wasn't a date. I didn't ask him here to hook up with me. And I still fail to see how any of this is your damn business." - I snapped at him, putting some clothes over the bed for me to change into.

"Don't be like this, fairy. I'm sure everything is gonna be fine." - He said, dismissively. He was standing there looking down on me as if my date had gone wrong because I'm here alone now. In reality, that was by design. The visit went great as far as I'm concerned, not that I need to prove anything to anyone, especially not to him.

"Can you leave my room, please? I need to get dressed." - I breathed out a tired sigh, frowning at him.

He looked me up and down for a moment, then smiled naughtily at me.

"Why? It's hot and you look good shirtless." - He countered, eye fucking me.

"Thanks for the compliment. I still need you to get out of my room." - I insisted, tapping my foot on the floor impatiently.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of you later, you don't need him." - He said in a condescending tone and I lost it.

"Get the fuck out of my room and stay out! I don't need to be taken care of!" - I shouted, losing my temper completely.

"Alright, alright. Don't need to get your panties in a bunch." - He spoke, starting to walk away. I was already darting for the attack when he rushed out of my room and I locked the door as he did, grunting.

Some time later, I walked downstairs to see if we had some food for dinner. Ultimately, I decided to order some pizza for myself. Since I was raised right, I walked to the backyard to check if anyone else wanted pizza.

"I'd love a pepperoni, Jude." - Cassie said in a cordial tone.

"I'm going to order for us later, Cassie. Let my brother place his order now." - Quentin interjected, dismissively.

"Right. Then when his pizza arrives, the scent is gonna drive us crazy hungry and we're gonna be salivating for a slice. No, thanks. You can order one pepperoni for me, Jude. Girls, what flavor do you want?" - She insisted in a stern tone.

I ended up ordering 4 pizzas with different flavors mixed together. Cassie was absolutely right. The scent of my pizza would drive them crazy to want a slice and then I'd be still hungry.

If I was forced to share my house with these people, the least I should be afforded is the chance to eat in peace.

I don't really mind the company. The girls are actually nice as Cassie and I get along well. It's my brother who ends up being a pain in my ass most of the time.

And Jalensky piles up on occasion, but we all know by now it's just a front for his own internalized homophobia.

I actually pity him, to be honest. He's trapped inside his parents' idea of what he should be. The ultra macho guy who gets girls and exerts dominance wherever he goes.

Right. Sure, Jan... *eye roll*

Though our experiences might have been different, I connect with Beck so much because of what he has been through.

I know it doesn't compare to my own experience and I never would want it to, but for all his trials and tribulations at least he's out here in the trenches, fighting the good fight to be accepted.

I try hard not to judge Jalensky for his journey. I don't subscribe to the idea that anyone should be forced to come out, no matter their reasons.

But I could never relate to him as much as I do with Beck. Or even Kingsley for that matter. Another boy who has no option other than to be out. A femme omega.

While our pizzas didn't arrive, I called Lay to get the 411 on her date. I was dying to know if it went as good as the first one.

She said it was great to spend a day by the pool, being served like a bougie housewife. We spent almost an hour on the phone while she told me all about her wonderful second date.

I inquired about a kiss, but she said she's not that girl. I'm sure she was tempted though. Blaine is the type of boy that would make any girl swoon over.

She asked me about Beck's visit and I was just about to tell her when the pizza arrived. I told her I'd text later.

We're supposed to spend Sunday together and we will, but I selfishly didn't want to invite her to the waterfalls tomorrow. I love Layla, but maybe this once I need to spend time alone with Beck.

I want to explore whatever this is or can be.

Later that night, I heard a knock on my bedroom door. Normally, I wouldn't lock it but I was pissed off today.

However, I knew Jalensky would come hounding me. It's his M.O. I opened the door already glaring at him, who unceremoniously barged in like he owned the place.

"Why did you lock?" - He asked, acting surprised.

"Because I didn't want you to come in." - I replied, still glaring at him. I stood by the door while he sat on my bed.

"Are you still mad about your little date? Come on!" - He protested, pouting.

"It wasn't a date!" - I screamed at him, mad.

"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be with your friend pretending to be straight?" - I inquired, though I already knew the answer to this question.

"He's sleeping with Cassie tonight, you know that. I'm supposed to crash on the sofa." - He replied without enthusiasm.

"Right. Have a good night then." - I said, gesturing for him to leave.

"Why are you being so difficult? I just want us to be together!" - He whined.

"What's difficult is for me to put up with you patronizing and calling me derogatory names!" - I shot back, revolted.

"You never had any problems with that before." - He rebuked, rolling his eyes.

"Well, now I do. I'm done tolerating abuse." - I stated with fierce conviction.

"One date and you're already dismissing me? What happened?" - He questioned me in a perplexed tone.

"For starters, it wasn't a date. I don't know how many times I need to repeat that." - I'm feeling so frustrated right now.

"I deserve better from anyone who wants to be with me, even if that person doesn't want people to know about it. Regardless, I'm not tolerating abuse from anyone ever again." - I argued, fiercely.

Jalensky was not happy with me right now, but I honestly couldn't care less. I tolerated a lot from him over the last year because I didn't know any better.

When we think we're not worth the attention, you accept whatever anyone can offer. It's very dangerous to have your self esteem so low.

Truth is I should never have accepted half the stuff Jalensky put me through.

"I can understand that. But if you weren't on a date and if there isn't anyone else vying to be in your bed, why are you rejecting me?" - He inquired in a suspicious tone.

"I'm not rejecting you, just the way you treat me. There's a difference." - I replied, frowning.

"Right. Can we fuck now? Because I haven't been able to put the image of you wearing just a towel off my mind since earlier. I'm dying to suck your–"

"I get it!" - I cut him off, blushing mildly.

I closed the door and gave in to his demands. What can I say? I'm only human.

Well, mostly. But this is the most action my room has ever seen in one single day. Now if you please excuse me, there's a man on my bed begging me for some attention.😏

Hey, don't judge me. It gets lonely here at night. And he's so goddamn hot, it's mind blowing!

https://youtu.be/-Edv8Onsrgg

A|N: Ironically, this is the song I wanted in the last chapter but the other one won.

Now, I know their relationship has [several] issues. That was the point.

Not all relationships are what they're supposed to be. Not many people have options.

It's like that scene in Heartstopper when Charlie and Ben have their final confrontation in season two. Sometimes we accept the 'love' we think we're entitled to. Or we think this is as good as it's gonna get.

Anyway, there's a lot of growth to be done by both characters, but that's what I'm about. There's a learning curve and so many things to go. We're only scratching the surface here.

Love,

Léo.