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chapter eleven

"AND THE SUNSHINE RETURNED"

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     Sunday came and went, and Monday hurtled in like a bull in a China shop. Emilia had spent most of Sunday on her own. She didn't mind it, really, because she needed a day to recover from how much she felt on Saturday. Emotionally, she had been exhausted. Physically, she was fine, she had a few more metres of running left in her, but Emilia felt like the emotional exhaustion would be able to easily grab the last of her physical energy, and pull it right down to the ground.

     The girls in her dorm room hadn't bothered her. Thank Merlin. Ever since the thing with the fire, she hadn't seen them. Not properly, at least. Apparently, they went to sleep after she had, and woke up before her. She understood why, because she was personally fucking terrified about that thing with the fire.

     Emilia thought she probably didn't find the fire as scary as the four girls. She had been thinking, and she had a feeling that it was related to what her grandad had said. About her feeling too much. Maybe that tied into it? She had a feeling it did, but she didn't like the wording of it. Feeling too much. How was that measured? How did it make any sense?

     Surprisingly, though, the four hadn't told the rest of the house (and consequently school) about it. Emilia must've scared them enough to get their mouths glued like that. And to think Emilia was planning to move Ripper to her friends' dorm room! That was a relief. Emilia knew he'd hate it, because it was always dark and very different to the earthy and sunny Hufflepuff rooms. But, she was scared that the four girls would go after him.

     Apparently not. Apparently, Emilia could be scary. Somehow. She wasn't too sure how, but she wasn't going to complain. She wasn't getting trampled on, not like she used to it.

     She could get used to this.

     Emilia arrived into the hall just as she spotted Sirius standing up to leave. She managed to reach him before he left, darting around a group of fourth-years to do so.

     "Hey, um." Emilia smiled. "I'm sorry for the thing on Saturday. I didn't mean to have a breakdown. Especially in that corridor, considering how terrible the rain became after a couple minutes. And I got upset over nothing, too—"

     "No!" he said. He put his hands on her arms. "It's better to cry than not. And, anyway, you did have a reason. A pretty good one, really. Interesting, maybe. Mysterious, perhaps?"

     Emilia rolled her eyes. "Still interested in the badger gone bad, then?"

     "What can I say?" He grinned. "I'm a man of my word."

     "You're sixteen," said Emilia. She laughed. "You're not a man."

     "I'm only sixteen for a few more days, though," said Sirius. He stepped backwards, grinning proudly still as he put his arms out. "On the third, I'm seventeen — why'd you smile at that?"

     "I'm older than you!" Emilia clasped her hands together. She was bouncing on the heels of her feet, like she would do a little joyous jig if there weren't as many people near. "My birthday's Halloween!"

     Sirius frowned. "How didn't I—?"

     "We've only been friends for what, two months?" said Emilia. She laughed again. "I love this. This is amazing. I'm older than you! By three days! You small little infant! How the tables have turned, Black, now that I'm older!"

     Sirius rolled his eyes. He was still smiling. Not as much as before, but it was still there. She could see it, at least.

     "You still have such a Hufflepuff approach to life."

     "And guess what Hufflepuff did?"

     "Yes, Em?"

     "We beat you on Saturday! Loser!"

     "Again — you're such a Hufflepuff!"

     "And you're such a Gryffindor!" said Emilia. She looked overjoyed, and she stepped closer to him, to put her arm around him. Playfully. Nothing serious. She knew her friends were somewhere, analysing. "The brave Gryffindor lost the Quidditch match to the mighty Hufflepuff and now his pride's bruised!"

     Sirius shook his head.

     "You know I'm right," she said.

     "I know you're not," he said.

     "Oh, yeah? Prove it, pal."

     Sirius tilted his head slightly. The two were closer to each other than the minute before. Emilia was laughing still, and she stepped backwards, moving a piece of hair out of her face.

     "I heard what those girls in Hufflepuff said on Saturday," said Sirius. Emilia's eyes widened. How had they mentioned the fire thing without it becoming school gossip? How was she not being stared at for being a freak? What the fuck? "About being a princess?"

     "Oh, that!" she said. "I forgot about that. Phew! Yep. Princess. Cute. Cool. That's what they called me, yep."

     Evidently, this was Sirius' turn to make fun of something. Emilia had a hand covering the smile on her face, shaking her head every so often. He laughed, and he said, "Good morning, princess!" He took hold of her hand, and she rolled her eyes as he held onto it and bowed, like in the muggle films.

     The next thing he did, admittedly, threw her off. Sirius kissed the back of her hand. She blinked. The smile on her face faded. She wasn't quite sure what to do. She liked it, but she hadn't expected it. She needed three business days to process this sort of stuff.

     "Anyway, um," she said. She smiled at him. He smiled at her. She felt the annoying butterflies again. Fucking hell. "I'm sorry you had to miss that party. I heard there was someone you wanted to make out with, or something."

     Sirius frowned.

     Emilia frowned back.

     "You're adorable," he said.

     She frowned still. "I am?"

     "I was hoping I could kiss you."

     Emilia's jaw dropped. Her eyes widened. Her stomach had dropped right through the earth and was currently in some section of land or sea on the exact other side of the world.

     "Um, that's lovely," said Emilia. She glanced over to the Slytherin table. She quickly spotted her friends; Melanie was already rising to her feet, in case she needed to rush over and escort Emilia away. "I'll take a rain cheque on that."

     With that, Emilia went straight to the Slytherin table, to the part her friends were sitting at. She sat beside Melanie, whom had been commentating, "And now he's walking away with one of his friends, the one that fancies the girl in Ravenclaw," as Emilia arrived.

     Melanie grinned. "You're doing great, my girl!"

     Emilia let out, "Since when was that a thing?"

     Dinah raised an eyebrow. "What thing?"

     Carmilla frowned. "Him drooling or you staring?"

     "I didn't know he liked me! Not like that!"

     "So naïve," said Melanie. She looked like a proud mother. "But, you're doing great, sweetie. I'm so proud of you."

     "For what?"

     "It's mutual!" said Melanie. Dinah and Carmilla nodded. Emilia felt very incredibly confused and her brain was running too fast for her to catch up with. Again. Only, this time, it was a pleasant feeling. Still confusing, though. Nice but confusing. "That's not very common, son. But, believe me, you and Black have a mutual thing going on. Well done!"

     "I wasn't doing anything!"

     "Nothing you knew you were doing!" said Melanie. She had an arm around Emilia. The proud mother look had turned into a proud dad. "I saw you, flirting without realising. That's the best kind, Em. Well. It's the cutest kind. It's the most confusing, but it's more promising than forcing something."

     "Wise words from a heartbreaker," said Dinah.

     Carmilla snorted. "Yeah, I don't know if I trust you, Mel."

     "OK, come on, you guys," said Melanie. "You and that Jonathan guy, Carm! You didn't force anything with him, and you seem to be getting on well, right? And Sage — well, OK, that's another story and I cannot be arsed to talk about that."

     "Another tale for another day," said Dinah. She wiggled her eyebrows. "Perhaps at a later date. Maybe it's told by that kid you want. Poppy Mackenzie Fleetwood—"

     "Poppy Fleetwood Mackenzie, actually," said Melanie. She rolled her eyes. "And I never said I want to have the kid with him! We know my fear of marriage, c'mon."

     The conversation paused long enough for the quartet to notice the group that walked past them to their first lesson. Prince and the rest of the boys Melanie wanted to mess with trudged past, all looking worn-out. A burn mark sat on Prince's face, in the spot where Emilia had punched him. There was the slight tinge of purple, indicating a small bruise surfacing on the almost-healed burn. Some potion must've been used to heal it faster. Or maybe he didn't need one, maybe it wasn't that bad! Maybe she hadn't done anything damaging...

     "Oh, that?" said Melanie, her gaze lingering on the mark on Prince's cheek. She didn't smile. Her face looked slightly green. That was the other thing: Melanie, like Dinah, could beat someone up, but she didn't have the stomach for injuries, blood especially. Dinah did. "He was freaking out when he got back to our common room. Whatever you did to him, the whole lot of them have stopped. They've avoided all of the younger years ever since."

     Emilia glanced around. No one was near enough to properly hear. But, she felt wrong mentioning it now. She could hear her uncle's voice, warning to keep important matters away from the public eye, and in doing so, public spaces.

     She didn't like this. She didn't like the suspicion she had towards her family, her own blood. She didn't like how, even though she suspected he murdered another family member, she still couldn't shake some of the things he's said over the years.

     She wanted to laugh. Look at her! She was taking advice from her godfather, a man she thought was a murderer. Merlin.

***

     She felt silly, living with that belief rattling around her bones. Still. After all of this! Emilia ran her fingers through her hair, the black nail polish a little chipped since they were painted a few days before.

     It was night-time now. Emilia and Ripper had decided to go for a walk to the Slytherin dungeons, which led to the current situation — the four sitting in the dorm room three shared, as Melanie and Carmilla wrote some Charms essay, and Emilia and Dinah sat together on Dinah's bed. The two were going through the latest issue of Rolling Stone magazine.

     "So, um." Emilia paused. She pulled a face. "That thing with Prince, um — my grandad said years ago that I was special compared to my other siblings and I had no idea what he meant until Saturday when I kind-of set fire to the carpet in my dorm room without meaning to? It wasn't a spell or anything, it was just that one minute, Mia was shouting at me, and the next there was this line of flames, and I think I made it happen? And then a little earlier on, I punched Prince and he looked so in pain and I was so confused but from what I saw earlier, I think I must've burned him? But I don't get how, it hasn't happened since."

     Dinah frowned at her. Melanie had risen to her feet, discarding the Charms essay on her bed. As Dinah stood next to Melanie, Carmilla had sunk into the place next to Emilia, looking at her, brows furrowed.

     "What else did your grandad say?"

     "Just that I was capable of something," said Emilia. She sighed, shaking her head and closing her eyes for a second. "I don't know, it was years ago, I didn't realise I remembered it until the other day..."

     "What did Mia say?"

     "No, you're going after them again — she's already missing a chunk of hair, and they're all terrified of me now, they don't deserve any more."

     "I wasn't going to do anything! I just wanted to know."

     "She implied that I was perfect," said Emilia. Melanie nodded, as if she agreed. She was met with Emilia rolling her eyes. "And then, she said it was a surprise Marie gave me—"

     "The fucking little toad!" hissed Dinah. She had moved a step closer to the door, but Melanie rushed over to stop her from doing anything. Carmilla put her hand on Emilia's shoulder.

     "So you got angry," said Carmilla. Emilia nodded. She watched Melanie and Carmilla exchange a look, and Emilia could practically hear the clockwork in their brains churning away, thinking carefully. "Maybe..." Carmilla's eyes narrowed. "I don't know if you had this, but before I knew I was a witch, sometimes, if I got really angry or upset I'd accidentally cause something to break."

     Dinah was still being held by Melanie. But, she frowned, and she nodded. "Yeah, normally, when you're a kid and you're not as — sorry, Em, I don't mean this — mature, you can't control your powers well," she said. "One time, I set the garden shed on fire."

     "Oh, yeah," said Melanie. Her grip on Dinah had loosened, now that the threat of Dinah pummelling Mia had decreased. "My brother pissed me off when I was six, and I accidentally turned him into a toad. It suited him, mind."

     Emilia frowned. "I never had it," she said. "Sometimes, I'd make a lightbulb flicker, but that was it. I don't think I've ever been properly angry until recently."

     Carmilla twisted her lips. She looked like she was mulling things over in her brain for a little bit. "Well, Em, maybe it's a little different for you," she said. Emilia was confused. Melanie and Dinah were frowning at Carmilla, but as if they were trying to warn her to be cautious, to be aware of the thin ice under her feet. "You didn't have the best upbringing, um... The way your siblings treated you, and you've said yourself you grew up terrified of your uncle... Maybe, um..."

     "Maybe," said Melanie, helping Carmilla out (whose voice had been shaking terribly.) "Because you weren't treated the best when you were younger, especially by your siblings. Like, we don't want to class it in case it wasn't, but, we've known you for years and you still look confused when we're nice to you."

     Dinah nodded. Emilia felt like this was a topic they'd discussed without her before, with the way they looked at each other, as if they remembered the last time it was mentioned.

     "Maybe the way your siblings have treated you has had something to do with how you handle emotions," said Dinah. Emilia was frowning still. "You've said yourself that you feel too much sometimes. Maybe they had something to do with that."

     "That makes sense," said Emilia.

     Melanie let go of Dinah, moving towards the bed Emilia was sitting on. As she hugged Emilia, she said, "How about we come back to this? You never know with this, and maybe there's something completely different that's the case. It's just a thought. But." She pulled apart, hands still on Emilia's shoulders, and grinned. "You know what we can discuss? Your birthday!"

     Emilia laughed at the excitement on Melanie's face. The two hugged for a little longer, and quickly she felt Carmilla and Dinah wrap their arms around them. And she could feel it — the grey cloud that had begun to settle over her as they mentioned the stuff about the siblings was disappearing, clearing away and letting the sunshine back through.

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i'm not implying anything in particular about em's family other than the fact that they're toxic. i don't want to say anything else because i don't want to get anything wrong. 

but! i hope you enjoyed! i really hope that mention of her family was respectful because it's a sensitive topic. i'm also stating now: the ability is not caused by being from a toxic family. i'm not writing this with the intent of romanticising/glamorising toxic families. the fact is that emilia is more attuned to her emotions, similar to how a wizard child is, and that the way she was blamed/made guilty/shamed a lot during her childhood might've had something to do with that. again. this is not romanticising it.

again, i hope you enjoyed, and let me know what you thought. :)

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