I'm sick of this, I'm tired of this, I'm drowning because of this, I'm aching because of this, I just want it to stop! I want to fall....but yet I want to climb out....I just want to escape from this....
          I don't want to get tortured by all of this pressure and expectation, I want to breathe for once.

     I feel lost, I feel insecure, I feel like I'm being thrown around everywhere, I feel trapped, I feel silenced, I feel unwanted and unloved, I feel alone...

I'm weak, I'm scared, I'm mentally ill, I'm a disgrace, I'm a disappointment,
I can't fulfill all of your wishes, I can't not make mistakes, I can't be that pinky perfect princess that you want me to be.

I'm sorry that I screw up, I'm sorry that I'm a burden to you, I'm sorry that I cry pathetically, I'm sorry that I'm not that strong enough, I'm sorry that I can't just simply slap myself and morph myself into your stupid mold,  I'm sorry that I try to stand up for myself, I'm sorry that I disappoint you too much, I'm sorry that I hurt you too many times, I'm sorry that I'm not good enough for you, I'm sorry that I'm only human....

I'm crying right now, I'm feeling so unsure with myself, I'm lost, I feel alone, I'm trying to hold myself together, I'm trying to breathe.
(Not like that matters....)

I wonder just how much I actually matter to people. Yes, I know that I'm not the center of the universe and I know that I never will. But I can't not wonder if anyone would notice me if I disappeared, I wonder if anyone actually cares about me.
        I wonder if I am the problem...? Is it always my fault, I mean, I wouldn't be too surprised if it was.

I wonder if all the words I hear are the truth or if it's just everyone taking pity on me....

      People say that giving up is for the weak, the ones who running away from their problems because it's easier.     
      While the strongest and the courageous ones are the ones that are determined and to never give up.

       But they never said that there is a fine line between fighting til' the death and giving up. That you fight so hard for what you want but there are many reasons to just simply give up.
     I'm sick and tired of all these reasons for me to just simply give up, I want them to stop. I want to stop hearing my thoughts to say that I have nothing to fight for that I should give up.

          I'm want to breathe for once, I want to survive and yet feel alive....