Rule 2. Stop giving bottle rockets to the younger destroyers, unless you are willing to make repairs on your own.

Rule 5. No one, but no one, touches the admirals blueberry muffin in the mornings. It will result in pain and an inquiry.

Rule 11. Trying to use Haribo sugar free gummy bears as a prank on ship girls with out severe enough issues of a certain type will result in severe punishment.

Rule 13. Disabling adult filters for the younger ship girls will most likely end up with the culprit having to properly answer all their questions.

Rule 18. No kanmusu is to ever be allowed to know of the existence of all-you-can-eat restaurants.

Rule 22. Samuel B. Roberts is not allowed to take training torpedoes from the armory without permission.

Rule 25. World of Warships is not a training simulator. You can not skip out on practice to play it.

Rule 26. Destroyer kanmusu are not a suitable substitute for battleship main gun turrets. You are to stop telling the newly-summoned battleships this.

Rule 28. Do not let Tenryuu play Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. She may get... ideas that are not quite sound.

Rule 31. Mogami is forbidden from operating motor vehicles. The base wall is still broken from the last time she tried driving.

Rule 33. Ship girls are no longer allowed to refer to 3rd Fleet HQ as, "Those fucking feather merchant retards with no clue how the world outside their plush offices actually works."

Rule 35. No ship girl is allowed to attempt anyexperiments seen on MythBusters without proper supervision.

Rule 39. Kanmusu are not tugboats.

Rule 40. Iowa is not allowed any alcohol at all.

Rule 44. Ship girls are no longer allowed to compete in the intra-service intramural sports. The Army figured out what we're doing and called us out on it, so no more.

Rule 49. Using kaiju films - ESPECIALLY the Godzilla franchise - to terrify the younger destroyers is strictly forbidden.

Rule 51. Akagi is no longer allowed to order refreshments for movie night. No matter what you think, 200 pounds of popcorn is too much.

Rule 56. Shipgirls are forbidden from getting tattoos.

Rule 58. All personnel are forbidden from distributing erotic artwork of, well, anyone.

Rule 60. "She followed me home, can I keep her?" is not a valid excuse to bring an Abyssal on base. See rule 29.

Rule 61. After the loss of three acres of cherry trees, Kanmusu are no longer allowed to use the petals for an entrance.

Rule 62. Any and all swimsuit calendars featuring shipgirls must be taken with the explicit informed consent of the shipgirls involved.

Rule 66. It is now official policy that all pets for shipgirls must be authorized by both their commanding admiral, the base admiral, and the base secretary ship.

Rule 67. Contrary to popular belief, Mississippi does not have a "rocket punch".

Rule 73. Iowa is to remove the wooden plaques with... certain names immediately.

Rule 75. Musashi is advised to take better care to avoid, ahem, "spilling out" during combat. While a great distraction, it's a distraction for both sides, and has led to many, entirely avoidable, non-combat injuries.

Rule 77. Video games will be screened for approval first before introduction to the shipgirls. We don't want another incident involving destroyers huddling in a single room during lights out after their exposure to cutesy looking horror games.

Rule 78. Stop telling stories about other shipgirls like they were horror stories in order to make the destroyers go to bed. The majority of the Japanese Carriers are unable to rest after hearing the Gray Ghost story.

Rule 83. You cannot upgrade yourself from a destroyer to a battleship by defeating a battleship. Stop telling the destroyer girls this.

Rule 84. We shouldn't need to say this, but all shipgirls are now forbidden from kidnapping "boyfriends".

Rule 87. Arizona's medication is to be forcefully fed to her every day.

Rule 91. No matter how amusing it might be, ransoming off the Americans' coffee supplies for pure sadistic entertainment is not funny.

Rule 92. Tama, please stop depositing dead animals on the Admiral's desk. Ooyodo is tired of cleaning up after you.

Rule 99. No, repair buckets will not fix electronics.

Rule 105. Any and all games of "Extreme Battleship" are to cease immediately.

Rule 107. The practice of strapping bombs and torpedoes to commercially purchased R/C aircraft is forbidden.

Rule 108. Yukikaze and William D. Porter are hereby forbidden from being assigned to the same mission team. We still have no idea what happened, but we now have half a dozen Abyssals seeking asylum from the "Vortex of Luck."

Rule 114. The Bet between Johnston and Vittorio Veneto to see who can get the biggest badass from the wimpiest starting materials is hereby suspended and they are to cease any related activities effective immediately.

Rule 115. Similarly, The Bet between Nagato and I-19 to see who can turn out the biggest moeblob from the roughest starting materials is suspended.

Rule 116. Whoever put the sword in the stone and left it outside San Diego Naval Base, please remove it. It's distracting our shipgirls worse than World of Warships did.

Rule 118. Do not comment on the relationship between Enterprise and Yamato. They're still cleaning up the last person who did so.

Rule 123. Shipgirls are banned from signing contracts with the United Stated Department of Defense for access to their experimental weaponry.

Rule 125. Whoever put Hiei and Repulse in the same kitchen, please report to the mess hall for cleanup.

Rule 127. Teasing/pranking the younger destroyers and subs will lead to Tenryuu punishing you, this is your only warning.

Rule 129. We don't care if it works, you are not to kill Abyssals by jumping on their heads.

Rule 132. Whoever the idiot is who keeps giving Hibiki vodka please stop, she's only a child.

Rule 134. No shipgirl is allowed to go to Las Vegas. Specifically, Yukikaze and William D. Porter are prohibited from visiting casinos

Rule 139. The crochet club application is denied. The laugh Hosho gave when she saw it will haunt my nightmares for the rest of my life.

Rule 141. Any more crazy stunts with odd or "extreme" foods will be met with punishment.

Rule 147. Attempts to "Write dramatically" are hereby forbidden. Maintenance is tired of finding pens lodged in the walls.

Rule 148. Tenryuu is to stop using the admiral's office to hide from Tatsuta.

Rule 151. "We found it" is not a valid explanation.

Rule 157. O'Bannon and Ghurka are to stop collaborating on pranks. We don't know how they stole a house, but...

Rule 159. Introduction of any shipgirls to sites such as , Pixiv, Tumblr, and other such websites is forbidden

Rule 171. Abyssals are to be terminated on sight, not invited over for tea and crumpets!

Rule 174. We are not building a trebuchet, onager, or any form of catapult to launch Musashi at our enemies.

Rule 177. Junyou is not allowed to go on pub crawls ever again.

Rule 179. Yubari is to stop threatening Aoba with "that device".

Rule 189. Harder, please don't encourage Darter's ninja fetish.

Rule 191. U-2511 is to stop sneaking up on people while they're in conversation. The Royal Navy is scared enough of you as it is.

Rule 192. Naka, stop trying to compete with Enterprise and Indefatigable over who has the largest fan following.

Rule 198. Girls are not allowed to board any vessel docked at the base without the permission of the CO and the captain of the vessel.

199. The airfield, hangars, and all aviation facilities are now off limits to all ship girls. You might have been an aircraft carrier in a past lifetime, but that does not mean you know how to fly.

Rule 201. All submarines are reminded that even though they have their own island to live on, that island is still a part of the base.

205. The engineering fairies are to think of better ways to remind their shipgirls about their refits. Our therapist bills are high enough as is.

Rule 208. Please stop giving Shimakaze candy. We have enough trouble keeping her from challenging Maury and Le Fantasque to races as it is.

Rule 210. If you value your life, under no circumstances should you EVER interrupt Tea Time that Kongou has arranged with the RN ship girls.

Rule 214. Ooi, you are to stop following Kitakami in a crouch, muttering "The precious... my precious..."

Rule 218. Carrying full sized battle flags on missions is not allowed.

Rule 222. You want to know what happens when these rules aren't followed? Missouri snaps. Yes, this is related to last week's incident in San Diego.

Rule 224. You are not allowed to destroy ice cream shops if they don't have your favorite flavor.

Rule 226. Fights with the Abyssals are not Pokemon battles. Stop trying to catch them

Rule 227. Using a fellow shipgirl as a cudgel is a desperation move and will remain as such.

Rule 232. "I have to floss my otter" is not an accepted excuse for missing a briefing.

Rule 235. Shipgirls are no longer allowed to charter helicopter rides.

Rule 237. Headbutting Abyssals is a desperation move, and not part of the standard combat repertoire.

Rule 240. We have no idea WHERE you got that shade of pink from, but the infirmary and R&D are reporting that it is actually giving base personnel eye cancer. Please submit all articles of clothing in that shade for summary incineration.

Rule 243. Naka is BANNED from blackmailing anyone else unless international security demands it.

Rule 247. Apparently destroyers can hit puberty. Sorry, Tenryuu.

Rule 251. After a recent string of rash purchases, the CO has declared that a portion of everyones monthly paycheck will be set aside for saving.

Rule 257. Nagato, you may not kidnap Rodney and take her home with you.

Rule 268. Practice rounds are paint filled to help check accuracy, not hold paint wars around the base.

Rule 271. Do not try to imitate California's admittedly impressive moonwalk. Unless you have a turboelectric drive you're liable to break an ankle trying.

Rule 272. All Royal Navy shipgirls are to stop trying to smuggle rum into the barracks. The rum ration has been discontinued; deal with it.

Rule 274. Constitution is not allowed to go around capturing the British shipgirls. We are allies with them now. You should know this!

Rule 279. Submarines are not to play the "Jaws" theme during exercises.

Rule 280. Please stop shooting down the Predator drones. And Akagi, please stop eating them.

Rule 287. Carriers will refrain from allowing their aircraft to fly near the main headquarters. CO and the staff are tired of having their windows buzzed.

Rule 290. Washington and San Francisco are not to be left in the same room on Sundays.

Rule 292. Whoever keeps locking Washington and Kirishima in a broom closet together please stop.

Rule 307. Instant Repair Buckets are not, in fact, made from the corpses of failed summons. It is wrong to tell destroyers this.

Rule 309. Adventure is reminded to clean up after herself and not leave mines strewn about.

Rule 311. Cumberland and Suffolk are to stop asking to "Restore our butts to their former glory!"

Rule 324. No, we are not explaining what "Jizz in my pants" means. You made your bed, now you get to lie in it.

Rule 327. No, trees are not some eldritch creature out to destroy the world. Stop telling the new U-boats this.

Rule 330. Sammie B. 'Blood for the Blood God' is not an appropriate battle cry.

Rule 336. San Francisco and Chicago are no longer allowed to watch football. We're worried about their mental health.

Rule 337. Destroyer escorts do not jump out of the chests of fallen American shipgirls to claw the killers to death. Stop telling the Japanese girls this.

Rule 340. Hornet, you are to let Hornet out from behind the brick wall. Now.

Rule 341. Do not tell kanmusu from the American South that their chili isn't hot enough, they take it as a challenge and an insult.

Rule 343. Albacore, We are not killing Enterprise for a morale boost. Why would you even suggest that?!

Rule 345. After Jun'You, Musashi, and Hibiki were treated for alcohol poisoning, Drinking games are now banned.

Rule 347. Do not let Ashigara know that her online boyfriend isn't real.

351. Stop bringing the Colts up to Baltimore, she will just start punching you in the face.

Rule 354. Warspite is not some demon out to eat innocent German and Italian shipgirls. She's a shipgirl just like the rest of you, and she's not hiding under your bed.

Rule 357. Iowa, Musashi, Regardless of how much damage you can tank, clothing is a requirement, not an option

Rule 359. While we appreciate the enthusiastic support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, that is not a reason to violate rule 357

Rule 360. Just a friendly reminder to all non-American shipgirls that the term "redskin" is generally considered derogatory.

Rule 363. There is not an Angel, or a beam cannon, under Tenryuu's eyepatch.

Rule 368: You cannot upgrade yourself by groping Ayanami. Please stop trying.

370. The use of Laser-Guided Tama is hereby forbidden

Rule 371. Attempting to deploy USS Sealion against Kongou is forbidden.

373: Aoba is no longer allowed to engage in blogging or "gonzo journalism".

384. Ship girls whose original selves are currently museums, stop creeping out the tourists with ghost stories.

Rule 391. Iowa it was not funny replacing Nagato's standard shell loadout with nuclear shells

Rule 392. When firing a nuclear shell it is not appropriate to yell 'PRAISE THE SUN!'

Rule 396. Anyone who tries to gamble with Yukikaze, Hatsushimo, Shigure, etc, deserves what's coming to them.

Rule 412. No, we are not going to sink the destroyer tied up at the base so that she can come back as a shipgirl.

Rule 416. Arguments on who started World War One are now banned.

Rule 420. To all human personnel, despite what the shipgirls may try to tell you the fuel and steel they consume are STILL fuel and steel, not food. Anyone who ingests either of these is paying for their own hospital bill.

424. Any shipgirl shouting "Leeroy Jenkins!" During a mission will be pulled from active duty for the next month.

426. Konigsberg, you are advised not to call Uganda, Tsucaloosa, or any other dark-skinned shipgirl a monkey. They might just take exception to that fact.

Rule 427. When you run into computer trouble, the correct response is to call tech support, not smash it and then stab it for good measure.

Rule 429. Yes, we can make explosives out of fish oil. No, that does not mean you can just load some tuna in your cannons to replace the propellant.

Rule 432. Tatsuta, no, we cannot build you a sniper rifle scythe, stop asking.

Rule 436. To all American shipgirls: portion sizes are smaller in other countries. Don't whine about portions, and don't assume foreign girls are all anorexic when they ask for smaller meals.

Rule 451. Tarring and feathering other personnel and vessels is hereby forbidden. It doesn't matter if it's tradition or not.

455. To all British shipgirls: yes, it's a tradition, but can you please stop lighting the Christmas cakes on fire? You're freaking out the Japanese shipgirls.

Rule 460. Yes, there is an ice cream in Australia called Golden Gaytime. So yes, Myoko, Hobart really was just inviting you to have ice cream, and nothing more.

462. The ice cream ration , supplied to the destroyers, is NOT to be messed with in any way. This means alerting them to an alternate source in case the mess hall is going to fall short. We will not be having a repeat incident of the Ice Cream Riot. Those who manage to makes the destroyers riot will be paying for medical costs and damages.

Rule 465. Tenryuu and Tatsuta are now banned from Disneyland.

476. You are absolutely and completely forbidden to ask the scientists of the Otto Hahn Institute Munich for help in experiments. Seriously, these guys create molecules that react violently to being perceived and/or existing.

Rule 479. Telling Royal Navy girls that U-Boats come and sink bad shipgirls is forbidden. Royal Oak refuses to sleep unless 20 destroyers are in her room.

Rule 482. Stop teasing the wood and sail shipgirls. They have been authorized to deal with such happenings as they see fit.

Rule 492. Kinugasa is currently holding a class on night battles. All shipgirls are encouraged to attend.

494. Lego bricks and pieces are forbidden from being used as deterrents against allied personnel entering personal or classified areas.

Rule 500. Please be reminded that eating off base is not an official expense

Rule 504. While effective when outmatched by an opponent, "death of a thousand cuts" usually involves a multitude of smaller wounds dealt to an enemy. Using experimental weapons in calibers you should not be mounting to utterly obliterate a target in one salvo, on the other hand, is usually classified as massive overkill.

Rule 507. Giving Willie D. a shirt of the Sisterhood of Fletcher Destroyers to demonstrate that she is one of them and they do like her was a nice idea. It just shouldn't have been the "Fletcher Torpedo Delivery Service - When it absolutely, positively needs to be sunk!" one. Iowa saw her wearing it and had a panic attack.

509. Please remember that DesDiv6 consists of 4 cute moe-blobs, not 5. Seriously, it's the fifth time Hoppo's sortied with them (that we know of).

Rule 513. We are aware that some shipgirls hold captain's or even admiral's rank. You can't simply ask them for an okay for things you need a CO's approval. Especially for things on this list!

Rule 518. Whoever had the bright idea to make a workshop where the U-Boats and Submarines could exchange tips and tactics and call it "Death from below - striking them where they're weak" is in trouble. The workshop itself was great, the traumatised shipgirls that got sunk by submarines are not.

Rule 523. Stop telling the British shipgirls that Bismarck's kitten Eugen aka Unsinkable Sam Jr is a bad luck charm that sinks Royal Navy shipgirls. Exeter, Lightning, Cossack and Arc Royal are currently plotting to get it either exorcised or otherwise get rid off it. Bismarck is furious.

Rule 525. Strong coffee is reserved for the human personnel. Shipgirls running on caffeine tend to do strange things.

533. To the guy that accidentally lost the Admiral's wedding ring, you better hope you find it because the ensuing chaos and collateral damage is coming out of your pay. Any medical bills you'll get, you're still paying it yourself.m

Rule 535. Aircraft are not allowed to fly indoors.

Rule 536. If it's worth saying once, it's worth saying again: TORPEDOES ARE NOT TOYS!

Rule 537. All talk of, "Heading over to the Pentagon to beat some sense into those feather merchants," will cease immediately.

Rule 544. Remember, trying to seduce a shipgirl who's already taken is a recipe for disaster.

Rule 550. Hiei is not allowed in the galley under any circumstances.

554. A reminder that the position of Admiral, or any officer ranking, is attained via going through the appropriate schooling in naval colleges and officer schools along with considerable command experience. You do not get those positions via ritualistic trial by combat, stealing the Admiral's official uniform, duels, and etc.

Rule 564. The issuance of grenades for use on combat missions is no longer allowed.

Rule 571. Do not throw the destroyers at the Abyssals.

572a. Congratulations, Fubuki! You're considered the mother of all WWII-era destroyers!

577: Due to the unusual nature of the Kanmusu, attempting to refer to them by the age of their hulls is no longer allowed. The Iowa Sisters did not take kindly to it, and the only reason the HMS Victory and the USS Constitution haven't gotten involved yet is because no one is yet stupid enough to say it to their face.

581. Do not cook with the fuel oil Hayasui carts around unless you want to explain to Kongo why the kitchen burned down.

Rule 586. Despite evidence to the contrary, William D. Porter is not the anti-Iowa.

Rule 587. Equilibrium is hereby added to the list of banned movies. We don't want a repeat of the multiple gun kata reenactments with 5 inch guns.

Rule 603: RCN shipgirls are reminded not to mention the joys of Maple Syrup to Akagi.

Rule 607. Bully Tenryuu at your own peril. Tatsuta might tease her sister, but serious bullying of Tenryuu will leave you at her mercy.

Rule 610. Kongo is forbidden from summoning shipgirls. Yes, it was hot and the ice was welcome. It's still bad form to abduct Enterprise so you can summon a BRL.

Rule 612. As some people seem to have forgotten this, every Fletcher destroyer has 174 sisters that are willing and able to come to the defense of their sister. That includes Willie D.

Rule 620. Situational Awareness is a thing. There will be mandatory courses on the subject matter for everyone.

Rule 622. The song 1916 by Motörhead may not be played on any base any longer. All shipgirls who understand English were bawling their eyes out.

Rule 626. Harder isn't hiding under Ikazuchi 's bed, waiting. We promise.

Rule 632. Shimakaze is no longer allowed to appear before the POTUS and US Media without an escort and professional attire...we're still getting calls.

Rule 641. Kidnapping the significant other of your sister ships is no longer allowed.

669. Who ever replaced Desdiv 6's clothing with those lewd abominations, please step forward now before Tenryuu becomes really annoyed.

Rule 674. To Akashi and Yuubari: I don't know how or why but we're going to have to confiscate all the combustible lemons that you made.

680. The same applies for the rounds of "hot potato" played with a live fragmentation grenade.

Rule 686. Stop teasing the Flower and River classes already. Yes they're slow and lightly armed but they can and are perfectly willing to dogpile and force-feed you their depth charges.

Rule 693. We already went over pranks being a bad idea. To whoever decided to slowly cut down on the caffeine content of the American's coffee, until it was pure Decaff, Followed shortly by replacing it with espresso, you are in trouble.

Rule 704: Indianapolis is to stop fishing for sharks, certain parties are getting uppity.

Rule 716. Shipgirls do not "consume the flesh of their fallen enemies to gain their strength." It is wrong to tell ANYONE that is how refits are done.

Rule 742. Woe be anyone who disturbs the ability of the European Shipgirls to watch the FIFA World Championship. They promised that the football riot to follow would make the Nika Riots look like a brawl between toddlers.

774. I do not know how the hell you did it without being caught but will the person who took those candid pictures of the Seaport Princess and Seaport Water Demon topless stop hiding and step forth.

Rule 779. A reminder to our human support staff that you are squishy and easy to break. Copping a feel on a shipgirl is done at your own risk.

785. Notice: stealing a battleship's wardrobe and leaving behind nothing but a trench coat and a string bikini WILL result in you becoming a target for their Live Fire Exercises.

Rule 796. Yes, battleship rig guns have large amounts of recoil. No, destroyers cannot use them to "double jump."

Rule 811: Under no circumstances are Maury or Shimakaze allowed to handle rocket engines.

Rule 826: Using your ballistics computer to win competitions involving throwing is considered cheating.

Rule 838: Don't attempt to chase down Shimakaze and force her into "something decent." Especially if you're a 21-knot Standard.

Rule 855. All ship girls are hereby forbidden from putting cannabis oil in their fuel.

If you wanna know where I got these, search "things involving shipgirls that are no longer allowed" on FanFiction.net