Because it's been a while since I've posted anything.....

If you find these quotes interesting, leave a comment next to the quote, and I'll reply with a link to that fic

Extradimensional observer: I've never seen Midchildan magic used that way."
Fate: "It's a custom spell. Designed to use spent and ambient magic to amplify its power. I'm not really suited to casting it though."
"So you didn't make it? How do you know a spell like that then?"
"My wife made it. Though you should try getting hit with it sometime!"
"I thought you said your wife made it?"
"We...had a rough first date."
(No clue about the title, if I remember right, it's a "blonde anime girls crossover")

The explosion firin' off the shell lights the metal, then it burns at a ridiculously fuckin' high temperature and sticks to whatever it hits. People, birds, the local dog, stray cats, Jehovah's Witnesses, carjackers, the person you're carjackin', robbers, walls, civilians, whatever. Also cooks bacon. Probably."
Goddesses save the Queen

"It's been confirmed that you have a 'portable David Cameron removal device'-"
"Double-barrelled shotgun."
Jack corrected, scratching his stubble.
"-a 'pump-action shit slapper'-"
"Mossberg 500 tactical shotgun."
"-the 'handheld fuck-you device'-"
"IMI Desert Eagle forty-four Magnum handgun."
"-the 'world's best Vietnam simulator'-"
"Dragon's Breath shells. Those don't count."
"-two 'brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrts'-"
"Huh? Oh, the Skorpions. I still have those, I think. Have I even used them?"
"-and your two knives, plus your extendable black stick."
"It's a baton," Jack said firmly. "A stick falls from trees. A baton is used to beat people senseless after you've dropkicked 'em to the ground when they were five meters away from their escape van."
Goddesses save the Queen

So, if he remembered the prefixes rightly and was being honest with himself, he was a heterosexual sado-masochistic hoplo-mechanophiliac.
Goddesses save the Queen

"Well, if I had to suggest anything, it'd be to keep going up the building as a group, and wave that minigun around like a dildo at a feminist rally." Jack gave an understanding nod at the totally accurate analogy.
Goddesses save the Queen

pulling out the single frag grenade he had left. "Worst comes to worst, use this, shove it in a bloke's mouth, and pull the pin."
Goddesses save the Queen

He hadn't seen, but he didn't care. Just watching the sun rise on that much steel put a smile on his face and a raging freedom-on in his pants.
Belated Battleships

"I'm horny as fuck and there's not one fucking willing officer on this goddamn rock."
"You try uh..." Vestal coughed. "Getting yerself off"
"That's why I'm fucking calling." Growled Jersey. "How the flying fuck do I get sand outta my fucking shaft galleries!"
Vestal's response was to howl with laughter for thirty consecutive minutes and then hang up.
Belated Battleships

"Going to take a hundred rubber duckies, and use all those chain things Plutia has in her bedroom and tie her up! Then I'm going to throw her into a lake and use her as a surfboard!" she heard Peashy hiss.
Graphidimension Ruby

The martial artist glanced out the window. "You know, there's a dragon looking for your sister. Somethin' about a virgin sacrifice?"
"Yep, probably next door," Honoka replied.
Make or Break

"Vesta, is that a pigeon?"
'It's my lunch! Because I was clever enough and brilliant enough to go and find food when I got hungry! But it's okay, I forgive you your lapse in wisdom.'
"It is, isn't it? It's a pigeon. A... charred one. Vesta! What have I told you about shooting local wildlife! Even for food! We feed you enough as it is!"
"And you burnt it? You're not even meant to be using  magic!"
'I was hungry! Cooked food tastes better! I bet you wouldn't want to eat raw pigeon, and my mind comes from yours, so making me eat raw pigeon is like making yourself eat it!'
Game Theory

Giving Vesta the powers of flight, invisibility and the ability to shoot lasers had only increased her ability to wreak havoc on any ecosystem she was introduced to. She wondered if this was a common problem with predatory familiars, or if it was just Vesta. Arf certainly didn't leave dead, half-cooked, half-eaten birds on the kitchen floor,
Game Theory

... well, she really hoped he was okay. She'd have to thank him the next time she saw him. And then smack him for sealing Alicia like that. And then apologise for letting him think she was dead.
It occurred to Nanoha that her feelings regarding the boy who'd introduced her to magic were probably a bit more confused than was wise for someone working with an organisation that wanted to arrest her.
Power Games

The cafeteria was a battlefield like none other. Destroyers were running around, Mamiya was about to split into four and to everyone's worry, Yamashiro, Fusou, Mutsu and Taihou were in the kitchen, helping out Mamiya
Things involving Shipgirls that are no longer allowed

Most people would consider being told they were enough of a problem that antimatter weapons were used on them as the best solution a grave insult, but Uno was not most people and could well be expressing a sort of twisted admiration
In The Service

. Now listen carefully, everyone. This class will not teach you to fight anything or anyone that is trying to hurt you. There's a better defense than that. Can anyone guess what it is? Miss Takamachi, I can guarantee your answer is wrong, put your hand down."
Nanoha Takamachi and the Wizarding World

She's not terrifying," Shinka spat. "She's annoying. She's stubborn as a mule, condescending about every topic, and unpredictable to the point of being predictable about it. I have to deal with her everyday and I'm surprised I haven't lost my mind yet."
Compensation

"Baby pictures," Jaune croaked.
She felt her cheeks heat to incandescence. "I'm going to kill you all in your sleep."
"Silly Blake," Nora chortled, "I've learned from Hayate! I don't sleep anymore, I just wait!"
Hazredous Interruptions

The fridge was dotted with bumper stickers – Naoko's idea of home décor.
There's no village idiot here – we all take turns.
Don't mess with me – I'm a mother.
Horn broken, watch for finger.
And, Maru's favorite: Cyberspace scared me so bad I downloaded in my pants.
Of Darkness and Light

"You should know by now, Master Kenobi, that I always have a purpose, even if I don't decide to share it with you."
"Was your purpose in coming here to quite literally tell me that you don't want to share that purpose? Goodness, I've seen senators with less of a desire to make pointless displays of their power."
The Finer Shades of Why

"It's just like Dooku to tell someone in calm gentle tones that his tyranny is better than Sidious' tyranny just because what else would have happened otherwise." That's just a fantastic way to put that. My tyranny is better than your tyranny—that needs to be on a shirt or something. Oh, and Obi-Wan definitely will tell Anakin...
*authors note from The Finer Shades of Why*

Yeah, you missed the point of what I was saying," groaned the blonde, "They're planning further ahead than actually possible. You can't have a victory gala if you don't even win."
Chaz raised a hand. "Tell that to Hillary."
Josh paused, and shot him a look. "Chaz, what are you even talking about?"
The pilot gave a blank look, before slowly bobbing his head. "I thought...oh, wait, we never saw the 2016 Election. Never mind. You won't get the meme."
Goddesses save the Queen

"If I get hurt, you'll help, right?"
"Of course!" Compa beamed. "Now get up there and make it try to beat you to death!"
Jack, despite himself, grinned.
"Fuckin' love to."
Goddesses save the Queen

"I had no idea! But that leaves a very important question that I just have to ask. How attractive am I? I need a non-straight opinion."
Sierra laughed. "You're very cute, Yuuki."
"Thank god," Yuuki wiped her brow.
A Study in Depravity

It was a nice place right on the Mississippi, and they served the most amazing crawfish. Atago liked crawfish because they were delicious. Alaska liked them because once she'd gotten the meat out she could play with the still-jointed shell. It was a meal and a toy all in one.
Belated Battleships

however, Planeptune does have a DREADnought," her body shuddered as she said its name, "the Dollmaker, Lady Iris Heart's flagship."
Legion was quiet for several moments as they rebooted. "What is the difference between a 'dreadnought' and a 'DREADnought'."
"One will kill you, the other will kill you and enjoy it."
"...That saying is 'figurative', correct?"
"Oh... Yes, figurative."
The Nep Effect