PROLOGUE.
FADE INTO YOU

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Soleli Bodhi had awaited for this moment all her life.

Ever since she was a little kid and attended her parents wedding when she was 10, she had always wanted to walk down the carpet of the inside of a church, people filling the rows of wooden pews while they all looked at her and only her. She would fake a smile, wave with her cherry red lips curled into a grateful smile, and her own mother would walk her down the aisle with their arms interlaced. Maybe she would ride off into the sunset in some fairy tale fantasy where nothing nor anything could hurt her in such a way. It was almost a perfect ending to her life as most heroines would have it, and she truly thought that after her wedding, everything would fine. Nothing could hurt her as that metal ring was slipped on her finger and the applause was almost grand. Call her silly, but she truly believed the fairy tales of Rapunzel and Snow White. She swore that her life would instantly change for the better the moment she got married.

   Well, it did change.

   But not for the better.

Rain rattled against the panes of the windows, causing the winter snow of Chicago be washed away down the drain. Frost collected near the front of car shields, causing indefinite cracks of ice to appear and the roads were slippery to the point where cars had to brake in the side road so they could get their cars under control. The moon perched low in the misty sky as the sun was beginning to rise and nothing stirred within the dark apartment.

You would think it was like a cemetery with the overcrowding flowers stuffed within a variety of vases. Soleli laid on her bed as the darkness had taken over the apartment and her weary eyes trailed from the wedding ring that strapped around her ring finger before it landed on her photo frame that was perked up high which reflected off the moonlight.

   5:56 AM.

   Her calloused hand reached out, her fingertips grazing against the sharp corners of the black photo frame which blended in perfectly with the darkness and she brought the photo frame closer to her. Her fingertips trailed over the pictured faces of her and her husband. She let out a muffled scoff, her hand slapping against her mouth and she cleared her throat as she pushed the photo frame back onto the wooden bed stand. She sighed softly, rubbing at her eyes as she got up from the bed which caused the bedsheets to be pushed aside by her hands and she padded barefooted to the minimalistic bathroom. It was only adorned by two different colored toothbrushes and wall decorations from the nearest thrift store.

   Soleli always believed it was better to get cheap stuff from thrift stores since it would cost less money even though the consistency was bad.

   For a solid ten minutes, Soleli stood underneath the piercing hot water of the shower head, her mind was muddled with thoughts while she simply stood there and the hot water left behind redness on her skin. Her husband was supposed to return with the same bouquet of flowers and the same heart shaped, box of chocolates that was always kept refrigerated and half eaten. It was the same thing and the same routine all the time. She swore that she was going to have a mental breakdown one day, write her note, and jump out of a window.

She stepped out of the shower, her dark hair clung to the nape of her neck as she rubbed the towel against her skin in a pathetic attempt to hurriedly dry off her pale skin and she sighed softly while she stood in front of the bathroom mirror. How old was she now? 30? 40? Was she dead? Was she trapped in some kind of purgatory? It felt like it with the cycle going over and over again which caused her to feel ill. Her cheeks were almost sunken in, her under eyes were darkened by the circles and it marked the many sleepless nights. She sniffled a little bit, grabbing her Wet hairbrush (aka her life saver) and she listened to the knots untangle from each other.

Her head turned when she heard the sound of the front door opening in the foyer, causing Soleli to sigh and she stared at herself in the mirror. She had to do it. She had to tell her husband about her thoughts.

   "Hey, honey."

   "Hi."

She smiled briefly when Marc placed a kiss to the side of her cheek, her eyes meeting his in a short time and she moved to grab her clothes from the bed stand, carelessly tossing them onto the sheet rumpled bed while she listened to his ramble. "The, uh, the florist ━━ Randy, I think? He didn't have your favorite bouquet this time even though I begged him to get your favorite one." said Marc as he let out a soft laugh. "But I got the flowers that we had at our honeymoon. Those, uh, those lilacs that you had in your hair from when you suggested that we should go to Venice."

   Soleli paused, her hands paused while she pulled on her sleeping shorts and she couldn't help but sheepishly smile at his words. "You remember." said the brunette as she finally pulled on her shorts and she pressed a kiss to his cheek before she grabbed the bouquet. As Marc talked his storm of excuses, Soleli suddenly paused as she found herself standing in the dining room and she looked around. The vases were filled to the rim with flowers and now she remembered what she needed to talk to Marc about. She tossed the bouquet down onto the wooden table and she quickly padded back into the bedroom.

How could she ever mention that she wanted a separation from him? A break of this excuse of a marriage?

   With her lips pressed together, she watched as Marc sat down on the edge of the rumpled up bed and his tiresome eyes met hers. She felt terrible. "I'll be back. I have to brush my teeth." said Soleli, knowing it was just an excuse to break away from the awkward silence that was fond between them. She even spit out blood after she was done brushing, the surface of the white bristles of her yellow toothbrush were covered with red and she wiped at her mouth which tasted coppery. With trembling legs, she padded back to the bedroom and she wiped away at her mouth.

"What's wrong?" asked Marc, sending the tension within her bones as he slowly stood up from the edge of the bed. "You don't randomly walk away whenever you have to brush your teeth."

"Fuck you." said Soleli with a soft grin on her face, betraying the serious point she was trying to make, but damn it, his laugh made it even harder to announce the fact that she wanted to separate herself from him. The brunette cleared her throat, feeling the sudden urge to do something else than look him straight in the eyes and she cleared her throat as she rose to her feet again, grabbing her hairbrush to run through her hair. "I think. . .I think we should separate." said Soleli, her teeth digging so sharply into her tongue that she felt the familiar crimson taste fill within her mouth and she exhaled sharply as she listened to Marc stand up on his feet too fast.

   "Wha━━separate?" asked Marc, watching as she rapidly brushed her hair to the point where strands of her dark hair began to drop onto the wooden floor. "So, we're done? Just like that?"

   "I didn't say that."

   "Might as well. I mean, we've been together for eight years. I just think that━━"

   Her hairbrush clattered loudly onto the vanity as she twisted her body around so quickly that it looked like she did a 180. "You can think I'm a monster for wanting this, think whatever the fuck you want. I don't care!" Her voice rung out through the bedroom, bouncing off the walls and it left them in struck silence as she sighed heavily, running her fingers through her dark hair. "It's not a divorce, I promise you that. It's just. . .you're acting so strange and weird nowadays that it literally looks like a cemetery in here with the flowers. I just. .I think it's better if we separate from each other. I get more sleep, you have more time to do your own things."

Marc was silent.

Soleli sniffled, knowing that she would have to do something like this in future at a certain point, but certainly not now. She reached up, wiping away at her tears and she sniffled a little bit. "I still love you. I do love you. I just think this is better for you and us." said Soleli, her tone was quiet. They merely stood across from each other as Marc stammered to even come up with words but she didn't let him say anything as the brunette pulled him into a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." whispered Soleli, her words were brushed against his ear.

But she wasn't. She felt like it was necessary, but you know what? Fuck it.

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