26.11.2019
I have edited it
And its longer than before.
But my updates here will be really slow
And the fanfic is on YouTube btw
___

Lee Ha Eun

Hello, my name is Lee Ha Eun, and I'm 18 years old. I can sing, rap, dance and play a wide range of instruments. Also, people would say that I'm pretty and perfect, but I'd like to think of myself as a normal girl.

But mostly, something is missing in my life. Parents who are busy with their jobs, an older brother who is also working and we don't hang out that much because of my school too.

And also someone important to me left... I miss him

Anyway, today is Friday, and unfortunately, I have to go to school. I don't like going because my peers obsess over, calling me an angel.

I reached the school gates, and there was a lot of students. I paused, but they'd already seen me. 'Oh no,' I get bombarded by my fellow peers.

"Look, it's Ha Eun."

"Good morning!"

"sister, you look stunning today!"

I'm the student president; I also perform in the festival here and if we have a campaign. I also join sports, and I teach people how to use the instrument.

I remain surrounded by a nearby teacher comes to my aid and tells them to go to class. With a tired sigh, I make my way to my next lesson.

-Time Skip-

The school day has ended, and I'm currently on my way home. I put on my headphones and sing along to the song that was playing, which was: 'EXO- Baby Don't Cry.'

As the song comes to an end, I hear clapping behind me. It snapped me out of my trance, and I turned around, coming face to face with a man.

"Wow, you're good at singing. I was wondering if you'd like to audition for BigHit Entertainment."

I thought about it for a moment. I wasn't that interested at first, but then I remembered a promise I made to someone.

"I'm not sure... I'll think about it, and if I want to apply, I will turn up at auditions."

"That's fine. The auditions are at BigHit, noon. I must leave now. I bid you farewell."

That was weird. I pondered over my decision as I continued walking home.

I opened my apartment door, and toss my bag to the couch and turned the TV so I can watch. I checked my phone to see my schedule.

"Today is Friday... so I guess I'll show up to the audition. Also, I heard that they only have an audition for girls once a year because many girls mostly fans of BTS wants to audition and see them."

I put my alarm clock to 12:30 pm, and mark the day as 'The audition.'

There are also reasons why I don't desire to be an idol.
1. I had a relationship which is an idol now...
2. Brother is... someone who is admired by many people.
3. Also if I got a relationship, they would make a fuss about it.

And there is also why I want to be an idol, and it is because I made a promise to someone when I was a child. Well, we were a kid at that time both of us.

But my problem is, I don't remember his face anymore. I lost my connection with him when I went to America.

I also met my ex when we were kids, extreme right.

"Ugh, what should I eat for dinner," I stood from my seat and went to the kitchen and cooked myself Bibimbap.
'Bibimbap is a Korean rice dish, and the term "bi bim" means mixing various ingredients, while the "bap" noun refers to rice. Bibimbap is served as a bowl of warm white rice topped with namul or Gimchi and gochujang, soy sauce, or doenjang.'

NEXT MORNING

I have an audition! I clamber out of bed and rush to get changed. After spending a while attempting to tame my morning hair, I throw on a white t-shirt and jeans, grab my phone and make my way to the company building.

I arrive at the building, and wow, it's enormous. There are many people here already; I see ladies from lots of various backgrounds and of all different shapes and sizes.

Some girls wear lots of makeup and some who wear little, and it is refreshing to see them all come together. I'm interrupted by the same man from before;

"Hello, I'm glad to see you've decided to come and audition!" I bow in response, and he returns a smile.

I felt a lot of people staring at me now, and some of them began to whisper such as "I bet she got recommended to join," "Also she looks like someone, but I just can't see on her face," "Her body is nice, and she seems pretty. But I'm attractive than her,"

I follow him until we arrive at a desk. I am handed a form by a kind looking lady. I thank her and start to fill in the form; I finish quickly and give it back to her with a smile.

"Miss Lee Ha Eun?" she asks me.

"yes," I reply,

"please make your way to the audition room down the hallway to your left," she says motioning towards the room. I thank her and make my way to the office, worried.

Auditioning room

"Hello," I say as confident as I can as I meet the judges.

"Hello, you must be Lee Ha Eun," judge 1 asks me.

I reply politely with a short nod "yes, that's me,"

"Your application says you can sing, dance and even rap, that's quite impressive," Judge 2 says

"That is a correct miss because of my family especially my mother wants me to learn those. But rapping was just a hobby of mine because I mostly write my songs" I reply, gaining some confidence.

"So we will test your dancing skills now, and we are expecting of you bring a song for dancing, and we would like you to dance to it," the third judges tell me.

The music starts to play, and I begin to dance, letting the energy and movement flow through my body. I was immersed in dancing when I hear someone telling someone to stop the music. The second judge turns to me asking if I could sing, I nod, feeling as confident as ever.

The first song that came to my mind was 'My Love by LEE HI.' I try to put as much emotion into my singing, making it as soulful as possible. I finish, out of breath and breathing slowly and turn around feeling proud when I see some of the judges look impressed.

The judges turn around to confer with each other leaving me nervous but giddy, a few minutes later they told me that I have to wait for a few days.

TIME SKIP

I finally got in and became a trainee for months now, but I've been a trainee only for two months, and I'm having fun. I experience being a trainee.

But then the man who talked to me before gave me the news.

"we've decided to form a new girl group, and PDnim would love if you became the seventh and final member?" a manager told me.

"sure, I'd love to work in a group because I don't want to be alone... that's why hahaha." I reply happily.

"you'd be the maknae if you're fine with it," he responds, and I nodded, and he leads me to a room with several girls doing rehearsing different things.

"ladies, this is your final member," the room went silent, everyone's eyes trained on me.

The quiet and dense atmosphere made me scared a bit. Also, the girls seem cool. The girls are pretty and their body, well I did saw them dance before when we all practice.

"A final member?"
"Oh yeah, I remember PDnim gave the other trainees especially the girls if they have potential becoming the last member for our group."

"I remember now, Hi, the name is Sung Rae Yoo, and they are Han Soo Rin, Kang Jae Yoo, Choi Sang Hwa, Kim Ji Woo, Seo Yong Soo. And I'm the eldest, nice to meet you." She introduces herself and the others.

"Ah yes, nice to meet you all." I smiled at them, and I scanned them all.

"What's your name? Also, may I ask your age?"

"Uhh, hello. My name is Lee Ha Eun, and I am 18," I bowed at them and grip on my shirt.

The room went silent again, but then I saw Ji Woo' unnie' smirk.
'Unnie is a term to older sister in Korean, but unnie is used for girls only. For example, a girl calling a girl unnie is the right way if the girl she calling is older than her.'

"I'm not the youngest anymore!" She jumped from joy.

So I was right; she is an unnie.

"I'm 20 years old, Soo Rin unnie is 21, Jae unnie is 23, Sang Hwa unnie is 24, Rae unnie is 25 and Yong Soo is 23." Woah they all are older than me.

"Wow, you all don't look old at all." they all look at each other and laughed.

"Well, thank you for your compliment," Jae unnie chuckled and ruffled my hair.

"Anyway, you look like someone..." Yang Soo unnie remark.
Oh no here we go again.

"Huh? I look like s...someone? W...Who?" I swallowed from worried. I don't know what will I say to them.

"I know the face, but I don't remember the name." Oh, thank goodness,

"Girls, PDnim wants to talk to you." We all nodded and went to PDnim office.
'Nim (님) is also a title of respect. Nim (님) is usually attached to professions. The difference between nim (님) and shi (씨) is that shi (씨) is used after actual names, while nim (님) is used after an occupation. The word for a teacher (선생님) is a word that often has the nim (님) attached.'

We all sat down on the couch and chairs, and I feel very nervous.

"As you can see... we will make you girls debut in a month, but we also want to talk about your group name and mostly your positions in the group,"

"We have some ideas for the names since the staffs, and I talked about it." He continued.

Then a man came inside, and Pdnim introduced him to us and said that he would be our manager.

"The group name should be MXS; it means Moon x Sun. Well, this group idea is supposed to be a guy group name but since the company will be debuting a girl group so why not uses it instead," he smiled at us.

But then our manager Hyuk spoke "It will be hard, you girls will be going on a hard journey. We will be training hard until you reach your limit, going on a diet and changing your meals too."

This is going to be hard; I can sense it.

"We will get through it, as long our dream to become an idol will come true and succeed." I beamed at them; they all looked at me. The girls look like going to cry.

"What?" I asked confused. Did I say something wrong?

"Hmm, seems like you're confident." PDnim chuckled, I looked at him doubtful "Not sir, I'm. But since I know, the others want to debut since that's their dream." I remark.

"I see I see, anyhow. We calculated all the practice and from the audition before. We will be giving you a position, and you have to work hard on it."

"Oh," That was all we said.

"We will talk about this tomorrow instead. Also, it's getting late." PDnim said, and we all stood up and bowed to him before we bid goodbye to him and our manager.

As we were walking to the hallway, Soo Rin spoke "So, Ha Eun. Since we got your extra bed to our dorm. When are you going to move in?"

"Uh, I don't know. My family doesn't know that I'm a trainee and all they know that I'm living by myself." I nervously laugh and scratch my head.

They stopped walking, and I looked at them, "What? Did I said something wrong?" I asked.

"Aren't you only 18yet you don't live with your family? Also, don't you go to school? Senior high school?" Sang Hwa said.

"Well yeah, I am a senior high school student, and I don't live with my family. Because mostly the house is too far from the schools I go so yeah since I was 15 I already live by myself, I don't see any wrong with it." I smiled; all they did was stare at me; they didn't even move an inch.

"So... you've been lonely? Don't you even feel sad about?" Yong Soo took a step towards me and hugged me.

"No? Well, I do go to my parent's house on Friday and then go back to my apartment on Sunday." I patted her back.

"Anyway, we gotta go now. We have to practice tomorrow, maknae, I hope you get home safe." Rae Kyo patted my head and smiled,

'Maknae means the youngest of the group or family.'

"Alright, you all too." I bowed at them as they walk off, I went back to the dance studio, but someone was already there.

His back looks familiar... the guy finally turned around and couldn't believe who was there.

"J... Jimin sunbae-nim, 안녕하세요 (Annyeong Haseyo)" I bowed for respect.
'It means "senior" (선배). Korean society is hierarchical. , and "님" (nim) is a suffix added to almost any name or title as an expression of respect. In some sense, you can equate it to "Sir" or "Mr."/" Mrs." etc.'
'안녕하세요 (Annyeong Haseyo) means hello in Korean, but it may also use as goodbye in Korean too.'

"Hello, are you a new trainee?" He asked as I nodded, I took my bag.

"Oh you're the owner of the bag, sorry I went through your bag and saw some manga and read it for a bit. I'm sorry about it." he apologizes.

"It's a..alright, as long you won't do it again," I said and about to say goodbye to him.

"Um, are you one of the girls will be debuting at the end of the month?" He asked,

"Yes, I'm the last and final member." I nodded, and he beamed at me,

"Good luck with your debut. I hope your dream of becoming an idol will be successful."

"Thank you so much." I bowed and said goodbye to him and went home.

I should have said becoming an idol wasn't my choice for real.

I miss my friends in America, and I wonder what they're doing right now. I bet they're having fun.

Should I call them? Ugh but I don't want to bother them anyway.

But then my phone started ringing,

"Hello?"
"Hey, I'm outside. Mom and dad are waiting for you." My brother said,
"Okay, I'm going done now."

I stood up and put my shoes again along with my coat.

I saw his car, the window slides down, and he waved at me. "I thought you're going home by yourself but since it's late mom and dad was worried, so I went here instead," he said as I sat down on the seat.

"Oh, I was busy that's why. I almost forgot that it's Friday." I checked my phone, and it was Friday after all.

"I'm not surprised; you're a senior on your high school now. So you have to work harder to get in a better college." he starts driving again,

"Yeah I know, I know. But how was your work?"
"It was fine, got more lines to memorize." he chuckled.

"I see... brother... what if I become a trainee to become an idol?"
"It will be fine, but I thought you don't like the idea of being an idol?"

"That will always be same,"
"Also I don't want you to become an idol because I want you to have a normal life and more privacy."

"I know I know,"
"But if you change your mind about it, I won't stop you from it." I saw him smile as he was focusing on the streets.

"Hmm.." I stared at the window, and after 40 minutes of driving, we finally made it.

"Oh my baby girl, I miss you so much! You haven't visited us for two weeks already." my mother grabbed my cheeks and kissed it, my father did the same.

"I was busy, and I didn't have time to visit that's why." I sighed, "But you better don't skip your meals, Lee Ha Eun." I tensely laugh and scratch my nape, but she glared at me.

"So you've been skipping your meals?! So that's why you look skinny!" Eh? I only skip my daily snack, and I lost weight because of training and school,

"I'm not-"
"I'll feed you so much until your tummy blows up today!" she grabbed my arm and dragged me to the dining room and made me sit down.

"I'll eat. I'll eat; don't worry." I laughed.
"Well you better, I cook those foods by myself today!" My mother pout.

"Eomma, please don't do that. You're already old." she hit my arm and my dad also brother started laughing.
'Eomma means mother/Mom in Korean'

~~~~~

"Brother,"
"Yeah?"

"Can you drive me to Mcdonalds tomorrow morning?"
"Tomorrow morning? Why? You don't have practice in your music nor sports on Saturdays and the morning? Are you hiding something?"

"What? No! Well, I'm just going to meet up with a friend that's all."
"Is it a girl or a boy?"

"It's a girl don't worry," I sigh. My brother doesn't want me to meet up guys he's a bit overprotective towards me.

"Alright then, what time?"
"At nine thirty" I gave him a thumbs up, and he nodded.

"By the way, I saw something on your pocket awhile ago," I looked at him with a confused face.

"Huh? What do you mean?" he paused the game and looked at me.
"It was a phone number." eh? what is he talking about?

He took something out of his pocket, and it was a paper. It says.

'Call me~ xxxx xxxx xxxx
I'm the guy you met a while ago, and I put my number in your coat.'

Jimin sunbaenim?!