Do you ever just sit there and think about the life you are about to have?

Are you going to be dead?

Are you going to be alive?

Are you going to live the family dream?

Perfect house, perfect spouse, perfect kids, perfect life?

Are you going to turn into a junkie?

Become an alcoholic?

Become a teen parent?

Never have kids?

Never have a spouse?

Always be forever alone with your cats, food and video games to live a sad depressing life?

Are you going to mix with the wrong crowd and end up in jail?

Are you going to have a successful life?

I think about this stuff every night before I go to sleep and I end up crying because I don't see a future for myself. I see darkness.

I want to be a mother, I want to be a wife, I want to grow old with the one I love and die warm in my bed knowing I lived a great life. I want to die knowing that I lead a life full of love, laughter, and adventure. I want to be a mother who watches her kids get older and have kids of their own. I want so much in life,  but I don't think any of it will ever happen.