By the time he finished reading the text, tears were streaming down his face. Lan Zhan wasn't even sure how it was possible to feel, after everything he did. Words couldn't even begin to describe the emotions that ran through him like a shockwave and couldn't even capture the tip of the iceberg labelled "feelings" that Wei Wuxian brought about. Why...did feelings have to be this complicated? He wished there was a way to describe the impossible amalgamation of emotions that bubbled through him, that ebbed and flowed through him like phantoms flowing through a soulless body. Everything he'd felt over the past few weeks seemed to crash over his head. At the start...perhaps loving someone without them knowing wasn't so bad.

There was something poetic about loving someone from afar, no matter how painful it could be. Something about watching someone grow from afar, watch them blossom into someone amazing, that was both heart-wrenching and beautiful. He hadn't felt it, not at first. Loving Wei Ying was as easy as breathing, it came so naturally to him that he didn't think twice. It didn't hit him until way later exactly how different his feelings were, when it came to him. With him, everything felt supercharged. His emotions were amplified. Maybe it was the spark in his eyes, maybe it was his smile. Maybe it was just him, but being with him had always felt different. It didn't matter how long it'd been, being with him always felt like home. And yet every moment with him never failed to make him smile, never failed to make him feel warmth. He hung on to every word, and for the first time, Wangji understood why the countless novels he'd read described looking at someone you love like looking at someone who hung the moon. There was no other way to put into words how much you adored them, because in every moment, you loved them. It didn't matter what they did, or what they said, because you'd love them either ways. Because you just knew, with a conviction that was almost pigheaded that they were amazing. That they were stunning, not always because of how they looked, but how they acted. You fell in love with the stars in their eyes, fell in love with the quiet lilt of their voice, not unlike the whisper of the wind. Fell in love with the storms they talked up, fell in love with anything and everything about them.

When Lans fell, they fell hard.

And Wangji was no exception.

"Didi?" Lan Huan's voice drifted back in the room, snapping Lan Zhan out of his reverie. "Are you..."

Just one look at Wangji's tear-streaked face told him all he needed to know. Wordlessly, he walked across the room, closing the distance between them. The moment he sat down, he pulled his brother close. "It's going to be okay," he whispered, "it's going to be okay." Half of his mind knew his brother usually hated those words, but that didn't make them any less true. This time, Wangji didn't seem to mind, wrapping his arms around Lan Huan. His tears continued flowing freely down his face, the breath in his throat turning into hiccups. Lan Huan felt his stomach freeze for a moment, his feelings drifting between worry, fury and relief. He'd read the text before Wangji did, and still couldn't tell if he wanted to throttle Wei Wuxian or hug him. How could someone be so blind? He'd seen idiocy and blindness in dramas, but Wei Wuxian took real life to another level. In some sense, he knew he shouldn't be as mad at him as he was. He was just a teen, after all. All teens had a period of idiocy, and as an adult, Lan Xichen understood it. But as a brother, to say he had been furious would have been an understatement. Still, this wasn't about what he felt. All that mattered now was Wangji. "Gege," he choked out, desperation and hope entwining themselves into his voice, "he loves me,"

Lan Xichen couldn't do anything other than ruffle his hair, the same way he used to do when they were kids. "I know," he smiled, "I know."

The brevity of the words took a while to hit Lan Zhan, even as they left his mouth. He...loves me. He actually loves me. Knowing Wei Wuxian loved him wasn't a surprise, not when they'd loved each other as friends for ages. But to know that his feelings were returned, that he felt the same, was a different thing altogether. A different world. Wangji wasn't quite sure what he felt, not when his emotions tumbled over relief, disbelief, hope and the overwhelming feeling of elation, followed by an odd blankness. It wasn't that he'd never dreamt of what would happen if he did like him back, it was just that the notion was so far away that now, when the boy of his dreams was merely a fingertip away, Lan Zhan wasn't so sure what to do. "Gege, what do I do?"

Lan Xichen couldn't help but smile at the question, something about the way Wangji said it made him feel like they were kids again. "I don't know, A-Zhan. But take your time. You don't have to rush into this,"

His fingers threaded lightly through Wangji's hair, untangling the ebony strands slowly. " I'll be here for you no matter what, okay? It'll be okay. Just breathe."

And so he did, crumpling into his brother's arms once again, drifting back to sleep, though not before typing out three words.

On Wei Wuxian's screen, three words stared back at him.

Wait for me.

Just a few buildings away, Wei Wuxian let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. The three words stared back at him, replaying over and over in his mind like a broken recorder, the whisper of maybe eclipsing the whirlwind of anguish he'd gone through for the last few weeks. Relief coursed through him like a quiet reprieve, and he could only hug his phone to his chest. A quiet ribbon of hope made its way to his heart, threading and flickering, reigniting the flame in his heart. "I'll wait," he whispered, more to himself than anything else. "I'll wait as long as you need. You've waited so long, Lan Zhan. It's my turn this time." But none of his words made their way onto his screen. Instead, only one word existed, sent back in reply.

Always.

Now, all he had to do was wait.

—-----

Lan Wangji loves snow. It was one of the first things Wei Wuxian discovered, one of the first things that brought them together in the first place. He remembered it as if it were yesterday. Remembered stumbling out of the snow looking for the older one, because it was cold, and he was nowhere to be found. He'd been a lot shorter than, a lot smaller and a lot more carefree. Wei Ying couldn't help but smile fondly at the memory, nearly wistfully. There was something ethereal about the first frost, something amazing watching the first snowflakes fall, watching as they crumble and melt. Something cathartic, watching the snow accumulate on the ground, something satisfying stepping into it. But more often than not, he liked winters because they reminded him of nights spent with Lan Zhan, nights spent cuddling under a warm blanket with hot chocolate nearby, just gazing at the sky. It'd become a tradition over the years, and Wei Ying could only hope this wasn't the first year they broke tradition. Without thinking, he pulled out his phone, his fingers tapping on the tiny call button before he could stop himself.

It took two rings before Wangji picked up.

"Lan Zhan?"

"Wei Ying," Wangji's voice was soothing, and the quiet realisation that he hadn't heard it in weeks, except for in lessons, crashed over Wei Ying. "Is everything okay?"

A smile ghosted over Wei Ying's face without meaning to. "Yeah, it's just...Lan Zhan, have you seen the sky? It's snowing!"

Hearing those words, Wangji's eyes finally drifted up from the essay he'd been working on the window beside him, registering tiny little blobs of white speckling the sky. "Just did," he said softly, "it's pretty."

"Just like you," Wei Ying responded absentmindedly. "You've always liked the snow...I kind of wonder why,"

"Maybe I just like it because I do," Wangji couldn't help but smile at it. He'd missed this too much, hearing Wei Ying's voice, talking to him, like they'd done before. Something about it felt addicting, like taking drugs at minute doses, only to come back for more.

"That's too unlike you," Wei Ying decided. "Most things you do have a reason."

But I never needed a reason to love you, Wangji thought. But the words never left his lips, lodged in the back of his throat. I love you because I just do. Because there were too many reasons for him to love Wei Ying that there wasn't a singular thing he could name. Not when everything branches out and together at the same time.

But Wei Ying continued on, oblivious to the silence on the other side of the line. " Somehow it always feels like you look forward to snow the most."

At this, Lan Zhan stiffened. And there it was. The familiar feeling of a string tugging at his heartstrings, the quiet feeling of 'I love you, but you'll never know,' , but things were different now. Weren't they? Taking a deep breath, Wangji chose his next words painstakingly.

"It's never been the snow I look forward to, Wei Ying," Lan Zhan's voice is soft, almost imperceptible through the sound ringing through the phone, " it's always been you."

The line seemed to freeze for a moment, nothing coming from either side, except for heavy breathing that quickly turned static. That...the thought of that had never crossed the younger boy's mind before, and he wasn't quite sure what to think. It felt like his world had been pulled from under him, in an odd sort of way. In a, I knew you loved me, but not this deeply, sort of way. If Wei Wuxian knew how to write poetry, he was pretty certain he'd be whipping out at least ten right now, but he didn't. Instead, all he could stupidly ask was, "What about nights? Wasn't it because you like the moon?"

Wangji couldn't help but chuckle softly, nearly hopelessly at it. To think that...after all these years, Wei Ying still hadn't realised... "I didn't like nights because I liked the moon. I liked nights because it meant spending more time with you." because nights meant that hours spent cooped up in the dorm, or nights spent on another wild goose chase that Wei Wuxian had set them on. And no matter what, as long as he was by Wei Ying's side, he was happy.

"Fireworks?" Wangji wanted to laugh. He really shouldn't, not when this was the first time they'd talked in a month, though it felt like years. But no matter what Wei Ying asked, the answer to these kinds of questions remained the same. "Still you," he answered, too soon and too slowly. "It's always been you, Wei Ying." he held his breath.

"It's always been you for me, too," the words left Wei Ying's lips as if on instinct, but they were true, nonetheless. Maybe he hadn't realised it at first, but now that he knew, the words were irrevocably true. "It took me too long to realise it, but it's always been you. I love winter nights spent with you the best, because it means I get to stay next to you, because it means nights spent cuddling. I love lessons, because they mean I get to sit next to you, talk to you, even if all I'm saying is rubbish, being next to you always feels safe. It feels like coming home after a cold, winter day. Being next to you never fails to make me smile, never fails to elicit that odd, bubbly feeling in my chest. And I wouldn't exchange it for the world,"

And because it felt only befitting to, to say the three words back to the first person he'd ever said them to, "I love you, Lan Zhan. If you'll have me,"

At this, Wangji's heart froze in his chest. It wasn't that he hadn't imagined this. God knew that he'd imagined those words coming from his lips so many times, with no real hope that anything he said would ever come true. But to hear the words come out of his mouth, even if it was merely across a phone, set something alight in Lan Zhan he hadn't known was possible before. "I want you," he whispered, his heart aflame, " in any way you'll let me have you. I love you too, Wei Ying. Always have and always will."

Wei Ying felt hope tug free in his chest. It was odd how warm one could feel standing in the blurry midst of snow, odd how it felt like his insides turned into liquid chocolate, warm and fuzzy, against the constant beating of his heart. He loves you. And gosh, did he miss this. Just listening to the lilt of his voice, talking to him and going back and forth. He'd missed it immensely , but he didn't realise exactly how fundamentally he did until now. He wanted to spend every waking second listening to him."So, boyfriends?"

Wangji could hear the grin in his voice from across the phone. This time, he didn't hesitate. "Soulmates."

Wei Wuxian felt his ears burn red. "That's it," his footsteps quickened, "I'm going to find you. I can't wait any longer!"

At this, a warm, throaty laugh filled his ears, soothing them. "Me neither. I'm at the cafe," Wangji said, raising his hand to get in another order. An iced americano and chocolate croissant, just they way Wei Ying liked it.

"I'm on my way," Wei Ying said solemnly, but there was a tinge of playfulness behind his voice.

Lan Zhan simply smiled. I love you, he thought. But his only reply was: "I'll be waiting,"

And in that instant he knew that they'd be fine, as long as they had one another to hold on to. 

----
A/N: 2370 words! I can't believe I'm finally done with this oneshot, lol- would you believe me if I told you I'd been working on it for two months? School has been...insanely busy these last few weeks, and I'm glad I finally did what I promised myself- finish this on my birthday, lol- how have you guys been? Thank you so much for reading, and for your lovely comments- you guys always make my day- I hope you've enjoyed this! ❤️