c!Techno to c!Tommy: I hate you but if anything happens to you, I'm killing everyone and destroying everything

~~~~~

c!Techno when he eventually breaks c!Dream out of prison: Just because I saved you doesn't mean I care about you

(I like on how everyone has accepted that the prison break out will happen at some point)
(Also, I love that Techno is canonically a tsundere)

~~~~~

Tommy: you okay?
Ranboo, traumatized and/or amazed: I just saw Tubbo playing Doom on a calculator and now I'm questioning everything

~~~~~

Phil: dammit, Wilbur!
Wilbur: what? It wasn't me!
Phil: sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Tommy!
Tommy: not me, either
Phil: no? Then who set the house on fire?
Techno: *whistles*

~~~~~

Dream: self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys
George: no, self care is stuff like taking bubble baths, putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, and taking a nice warm nap!
Sapnap: self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies eyes!!!
Bad: lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting
Dream: if you touch my birthday cake, I will make you eat your hands

~~~~~

Tubbo: Since I'm 17...
Tubbo: And you're now 18...
Tubbo: and we're canonically married...
Tubbo: does that make you a pedophile?
Ranboo: THATS NOT HOW THAT WORKS

(Hey look, I made a thing!)

~~~~~

o!Ranboo: Parry this, you peasant bitch

(If Ranboo ever curses while in character, it better be when he's in his Origins character)
(I mean, it fits, doesn't it?)

~~~~~

Techno: it's the emotion that can only be unlocked when you finished reading a book at midnight

(The feeling is called exhausted melancholy)
(At least that's what I call it)

~~~~~

Tommy: if I have to go to school tomorrow, I think I will commit very real crimes

(Same)

~~~~~

c!Ranboo: I DO NOT CONTROL THE REMEMBER

~~~~~

And now, those chart memes, but with my own twist on it;

~~~~~

Babysitting

Actual parent: Phil, Bad, Puffy
Wine aunt: Schlatt, Sapnap, Quackity
Great at babysitting: Eret, Ranboo
Mediocre at babysitting: Wilbur, George, Skeppy
The house is on fire, god is dead: Techno, Dream
Is the child: Tommy, Tubbo, Fundy

~~~~~

Fight in the halls at school

"Fight, fight, fight!": Tommy, Quackity, Skeppy, Wilbur
Goes and gets a teacher: Bad
Warns the others when a teacher is coming: Tubbo, Ranboo, also Tommy, also Wilbur
Annoyed that they can't pass: George
Is in the fight: Dream, Techno
Tries to stop it: Phil, Sam
Joins in on the fight: Sapnap

~~~~~

Joel (Smallishbeans): Apparently at some point when my now-wife and I were flirting with each other but not quite in a relationship, she asked me how I felt about pet names, to which I replied "well, you have to call them something"
Joel: the fact that I managed to end up marrying her is really testament to my wife's patience
Scott: Joel, I don't know how to tell you this, but I think she's moronsexual
Joel: hey, don't call Lizzie a moron >:(
Joel:
Joel: wait—

(Did I just do people who aren't in the DSMP?)
(Yes, yes I did)
(Also, don't lie, Joel is a lovable dumbass)
(Hell, didn't Lizzie mention how stupid her beloved husband is in one of her Empires episodes?)
(This isn't hate, btw. I've been watching both of them forever)

~~~~~

Joel: when you work in a kitchen, you start to realize that chefs are basically wizards
Joel: no, hear me out! Both dress weird, shout words I don't understand, and give me cookies when I start crying!

~~~~~

Lizzie: *sees a person across the street doing a dumb thing* Hah, what an idiot
Lizzie: *realizes it's Joel* Hey, wait a minute, that's MY idiot!

(THIS IS LITERALLY THEIR RELATIONSHIP, IS IT NOT?)

~~~~~

Tommy: I survive on spite, and spite alone

(Could also work for c!Wilbur, Techno, and Dream)

~~~~~

Tommy, to Techno: Do you think you'd ever want kids?
Techno: I'll be my own lineage

(I wish I could say that the bloodline dies with me (bc I'm ace), but unfortunately, I have 5 younger siblings that will most likely provide children)
(At least I get to be the cool aunt that gets my nieces and nephews hyped up on sugar before sending them back to my siblings 😎)
(I mean, that won't be for several years, since the only one that has a gf can't be Alone with her bc of her parents, and the rest are from 6th grade and younger, so...)