Techno: true warriors don't faint. We take unintended, decisive naps

~~~~~

Ranboo: Techno says "I love you" weirdly
Tubbo: what do you mean?
Ranboo: well...watch
Ranboo: hey techno! I [platonically] love you!
Techno: I'd kill for you

(Technos love language is just not killing the ppl he "tolerates")

~~~~~

Techno: "I don't care" I say caringly, as I care deeply

~~~~~

Texting
Tubbo: hey, do you have anxiety prime?
Tubbo: *amazon
Ranboo: yeah, I have both

(Sadly I had to get rid of my Amazon prime bc it's too much money)
(But unfortunately, my anxiety prime subscription refuses to expire)

~~~~~

Aimsey: who's in charge here?
Tubbo: *shrugs* whoever's the loudest, I guess
Tommy: *is screeching at the top of his lungs*
Ranboo: god, I hope that's not true

~~~~~

Ranboo, watching Techno animatedly talk about birds to Wilbur: I've never seen him this excited about anything before...
Phil: yeah, he likes his birds quite a bit
Techno: LOOK! THATS A ROUND BIRD!
Phil: it sure is, Techno!
Ranboo: *confused enderman noises*

~~~~~

Playing Twister
Tommy: right hand red!
Wilbur: *ends up on top of schlatt*
Wilbur: you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
Tubbo, giggling: yeah, we stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago
Tommy: I'm surprised you didn't notice

~~~~~

c!Dream: I poisoned someone's drink, but I forgot whose...
c!Tubbo: *spits out drink* you WHAT!?
c!Tommy: based on how this meeting is going, I really hope it's mine
c!Ranboo: *downs his drink*

~~~~~

Wilbur: I...just...why????
Tommy: i get asked that a lot and I often find the answer to be "I thought it'd be funny"

~~~~~

c!Dream: what is this!?
c!Tommy: that's the weight of guilt. Give in to the nice side. Help those unfortunate, and make the guilt go away, my friend
c!Dream: ah! Make it stop!
c!Tommy: surrender to your kindness, Dream. It's nice to be nice
c!Dream; your guilt is strong, my friend. But it is no match for the power of my selfishness!

~~~~~

Wilbur: *yawns*
Schlatt: yeah, being that pretty must be tiring
Wilbur: then you must exhausted
Noah: will you two shut up!? Some of us are lonely

(I promise, this makes sense in the context of a fic I've been reading recently)

~~~~~

Ranboo: please peer pressure me into finishing my projects
Tommy: all the cool kids are doing their projects
Tubbo: do it or you're straight
Ranboo: i said peer pressure, not threaten

(❍ᴥ❍ʋ)

~~~~~

Wilbur: this bloodline ends with me
Techno: that's a fancy way of saying "I'm gay"

(I would say it, but I am the oldest of 6)
(As far as I know, us older 3 aren't really interested in having kids, and the younger 3 are too young to really think about that)

~~~~~

Ranboo: there's no magical cure for depression, anxiety, insecurity, or any mental illness there is
Ranboo: however, Tommy once said to me, "whenever you feel sad, imagine a t-Rex trying to make a bed"
Ranboo:
Ranboo: I know it shouldn't work, but do you know how hard it is to be sad with that image in your head?

~~~~~

Tubbo: Pepsi tastes like soap
Ranboo: ????what kind of soap are you using??????
Tubbo: Pepsi

(I have a headcanon that c!Beeduo share a singular braincell)
(Ranboo has it most of the time, and then Tubbo has it sometimes)
(And other times, neither of them have a braincell)
(I'm sure some of these Beeduo incorrect quotes reflect that)

~~~~~

Everyone, to c!Wilbur: you edgy bitch

(Imagine being such a theater kid that you create a nation bc you were inspired by Hamilton and then turn around and pull a JD from Heathers and blow shit up while wearing a dirty trench coat)

~~~~~

Ranboo: I don't know how you do that
Techno: do what?
Ranboo: make everything sound like a threat. That man looked like he was about to piss himself, and all you did was ask him to move. Even when I actively try to sound threatening, no one takes me seriously
Techno: that's because you look and sound like the human personification of a warm hug

~~~~~

Ant: Gaypril might be over, but now we're to the most powerful month
Velvet: Gay

(Every month is pride month if you make it gay enough)

~~~~~

Phil: has anyone seen my wife!?
Ranboo: what does she look like?
Phil, sobbing: BEAUTIFUL

~~~~~

Ranboo: *wakes up in the middle of the night* it's the...the spiders...spiders...they want me to tap dance...I don't want to tap dance...
Tubbo: you tell those spiders, Boo
Ranboo: I'll tell them...yeah...I'll tell 'em... *slowly goes back to sleep*

~~~~~

Tommy: I typed "bitch" in my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway
Dream:
Tommy: vroom vroom, bitch, come out already

(I like to imagine that Tommy drove across the ocean to America)
(No, I don't mean the car was on a boat and was transferred to America)
(I mean the car acted like a submarine and just casually drove on the sea floor)

~~~~~

Techno: if someone stabs you, you get to keep the knife
Tommy: and that's how you start a collection
Ranboo: if someone stabs you and you don't bleed out for 15 minutes, you're legally allowed to leave
Tubbo: if someone throws a knife at you and you catch it, they're out

~~~~~

Techno: all of a sudden I got a random burst of energy, and I think it's my body's last hurrah before it completely shuts down

~~~~~

Techno: it's not ugly, just...aesthetically challenged

(I'm using that now)

~~~~~

Charlie: some guy threw a piece of cheese at me last night
Quackity: really?
Charlie: I thought, how dairy
Quackity:

~~~~~

Schlatt: if you make one more joke, I'm going to hit you
Charlie: you mean you'll pun-ch me?
Schlatt:
Charlie, running for his life: I regret nothing!

~~~~~

c!Wilbur: believe in myself? The same person that got me into this mess?

~~~~~

Ranboo: what are you doing, exactly?
Phil, dragging Ranboo in with the rest of the sbi: building a family

(At this point, Ranboo and Tubbo are unofficial sbi members)
(I mean, Tubbo has been one for a while, but still)