Techno: I'm a simple man. I enter the kitchen. I eat four servings of bread products. I leave.
Wilbur: it's only one serving if you're serving it to yourself at once
Techno: I like the way you think

(Favorite bread product, go!)
(I'll go first)
(I like muffins quite a bit)
(Especially banana muffins and chocolate muffins)
(I convinced my mom to get me banana and chocolate chunk muffins, and I had one this morning and they're so good)

~~~~~

Phil: the first step to any murder is to have fun and be yourself

(I feel like this would work better for Techno, but I stole this from an SBI incorrect quotes Tumblr, so—)

~~~~~

Tommy: when I say "all things considered," I have probably only considered four things at most. Usually less.

(S A M E)

~~~~~

Phil: I'm sorry I have a frail human form, I'm doing my best to transcend it and become pure energy

(Apparently this was a Hermitcraft quote)
(I don't really watch Hermitcraft, so I have no clue who said this or why, but I also kinda don't wanna know)
(I'm just gonna pretend that Grian said it with no context and go on with my day)
(Idk who said it, but I'm gonna pretend it's Grian)
(Listen, I know like 3 people on hermitcraft, and I don't watch one of them, so—)

~~~~~

Wilbur: I'm sorry sir this is jeopardy
Wilbur: please frame your violence in the form of a question

~~~~~

Tommy: I've had my first coherent thought in like five years
Tommy: the cogs in my brain are rusty, but we're working on it

(Me in math and AP chem)
(Yes, I do see the numbers on my paper)
(No, I do not understand what they mean or what you want me to do)

~~~~~

Phil: we've got to find a way to cut down some expenses. What can we live without?
Wilbur: Tommy, probably

(But Tommy is what makes the SBI the SBI)
(Ngl, it didn't feel quite right before Tommy was an official member of the SBI)

~~~~~

Techno: there are some really kind people in the world
Wilbur: you laughed at a child falling down yesterday
Techno: I never said that I was one of them

~~~~~

Tommy: I never considered you a rival
Techno: I never considered you at all
Tommy:
Tommy: now that's just hurtful

~~~~~

Techno: this is my bear. His name is Steve and he cuddles with me every night. I wanted to bring him to today's meeting so you guys can meet him.
Phil: Techno, we have to train, he needs to wait back at the cabin
Techno, tearing up: please
Techno: he's all I have left

(I found a polar bear in my minecraft, so I dragged him the 2000 or so blocks to my house (which was not fun bc I had to go into the water and bears apparently can't go into boats) and named him Steve)
(I also kidnapped another fox and named him after Seepeekay)
(If you don't know who that is, you're too young then)

~~~~~

Wilbur: owo
Phil: uwu
Tommy: owu
Techno: death would be a kindness

~~~~~

Wilbur: ah yes, baguettes, the snakes of bread. We'll take two of your freshest yeasty eels, good sir
Techno:
Techno: what
Phil, rolling his eyes: ignore him

~~~~~

Wilbur: do you ever think before you speak?
Tommy: yes, I think "haha that's funny" and then I say it

~~~~~

Phil: if something happens and I don't make it, just know that I'll be looking up and watching over you
Wilbur: up?
Phil: oh, yeah, I'll be in hell for sure

~~~~~

Phil: you're ignoring all your problems
Wilbur: yeah, I know
Phil: that's not a healthy coping mechanism
Wilbur: damn
Wilbur: guess I gotta ignore that too

(I feel called out here—)

~~~~~

Techno: they say milk helps babies grow, but I've poured three cartons over this baby, and all he's done is cry!

(Sidenote: I love the Dadnoblade au sometimes)
(On the occasion I do see that au, Techno is actually a decent dad)
(But if c!Techno was suddenly a dad, he'd straight up be like "Phil, help, this tiny person won't stop crying")
(It's not that he doesn't care, he just has no idea how to take care of a child)
(I mean, look at how c!Techno treats c!Ranboo and c!Tommy)
(He's even said that he cares for both of them, he just doesn't express it well)
(And before you say anything about c!Techno and cTommys relationship...)
(PLEASE DONT TAKE BEDROCK BROS AWAY FROM ME I LOVE THAT DUO SO MUCH)
(Also you can see that Techno still cares for Tommy—at least a little bit—in his Will. Sure, Tommy hurt Techno, but Techno hurt Tommy first near the end of the Pogtopia era)