Techno: I haven't cried in seven years
Phil: That can't be healthy

~~~~~

Tubbo, at Tommy's funeral: Can I have a moment alone with him?
Wilbur: Of course *leaves*
Tubbo, leaning over Tommy's coffin: Listen, I know you're not really dead
Tommy: Yeah, no shit

~~~~~

Techno: Why are you smiling?
Wilbur: What, can't I just be happy?
Tubbo: Tommy tripped and fell in the hallway

~~~~~

Phil: There's someone in every friend group that nobody likes
Everyone in the DreamSMP: *looks at Tommy*
Tommy: Okay, first of all, fuck all of you

(Yet they keep him around)
(Not because they want to, they just can't get rid of him)
(He always finds a way back in)

~~~~~

George: *accidentally brushes Dreams hand*
Clay: *aggresively grabs and holds George's hand* Just fucking commit to it already

(I feel like most of the incorrect quotes in the past 5 or so chapters have been mostly related to SBI)
(So have some DNF)

~~~~~

Phil: Just be yourself, say something nice!
Techno: Which one? I can't do both, Phil

~~~~~

(Before the Tommy betrayal)

Techno: Oddly enough, you might be the strongest person I know
Tommy: That...is possibly the nicest thing that you've ever said to me
Techno: Don't get used to it, you're still very strange and annoying

~~~~~

Clay: I am the master of seduction
George: *flirts with him*
Clay, face red: WHAT

(He can flirt with anyone no problem)
(But if someone flirts with him he's just like "WHAT!?")

~~~~~

Techno: Stop holding onto people just because you have history together
Tommy:
Tommy: I'm your brother-

~~~~~

Glatt: Tell him off, Tubbo! Assert yourself!
Tubbo: That's my ice cream cone!
Glatt: Great, now let him have it!
Tubbo: You can have it :)

~~~~~

Zak: Techno, I need your help murdering someone
Techno: Okay, so first we need several cans of wet cat food, then we put it in their shoes
Zak:
Techno: Don't judge me, I get results

(I'm scared now-)

~~~~~

Ghostbur: Hey Phil, can I chat with you?
Phil: Sure, mate
Techno and Ranboo: *perk up to listen*
Ghostbur: Uh, I actually wanted to talk to you alone, Phil
Phil: Okay, hold on a minute
Phil: *hands Techno a gold block and Ranboo a grass block*
Techno: *stares at the gold block*
Ranboo: *Blankly walks around the room carrying the grass block*
Ghostbur: How did you do that!? :O
Phil: Well, they're both hybrids, so I just gave them the things that the mobs usually like, and they just zone out
Ghostbur: That's so cool! I'm so glad I'm not a hybrid so you can't distract me like that!
Phil: Haha, yeah... *hides a stack of Tommy and Tubbo baby pictures*

(Now I'm picturing Wilbur just awwwwing at his little brothers baby pictures)
(🥺)

~~~~~

Darryl: I'm going to bed, so don't do murders
George: Okay
Clay: ...fine...
Nick: IM GONNA BURN DOWN A FOREST!
Darryl: Technically not murder, so I'll allow it
Clay: WHAT!?

~~~~~

Techno: I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and as a follower.
Techno: You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader

~~~~~

Ranboo: I didn't know everyone dresses up every year
Techno, covered in blood: Neither did I
Techno: Good thing it's Halloween then!

~~~~~

Tommy: Phil, why is the legal age of sex is 16 in Britain?
Phil: I'll tell you when you're 25
Tommy:

(Is that an honest to god real thing...?)
(Granted, pretty sure I heard somewhere in middle school that the legal age of consent in the US is 13, so-)
(Idk if THAT is real tho)

~~~~~

Tubbo: Always remember to speak your mind!
Tommy: I eat cereal with water
Tubbo:

~~~~~

Charlie bc I can: How do snails breathe?
Schlatt, sighing: I don't know, how do snails breathe?
Charlie, already giggling: Through their snoses

(Charlie = slimesicle btw)

~~~~~

Nick: Sorry I couldn't afford an engagement ring, but here's a meme I printed out and taped on a rock

~~~~~

Tommy: Y'know Wilbur, you're my favorite older brother and I love you so much
Wilbur, shoving laundry in his arms: Stop saying you love me just to get out of doing laundry

(He does this to everyone)
(And it only works on Tubbo)

~~~~~

Techno: You're annoying
Tommy: But you love me
Techno: Doesn't make you any less annoying

(As the oldest, I can confirm)
(I'd literally die for my siblings if needed)
(But oh my GOD they're so fucking annoying)

~~~~~

Tubbo, learning how to drive: So what happens if I press the brake and the gas at the same time?
Tommy, from the back seat: The car takes a screenshot
Phil: For the last time, Tommy, get the fuck out

~~~~~

Clay: I'm living with Sapnap temporarily
Clay: So it's a temporary thing, you know
Clay: Just until one of us dies of old age

(That is temporary, he's not wrong)

~~~~~

Techno, recording: The floor is lava!
Clay: *helps George on the counter*
Tommy: *pushes Tubbo off the couch*
Techno: And as you can see, there are two types of friends

~~~~~

During Lmanburgs revolution
Wilbur: We will die free or we will die trying!
Fundy: Are those the only options?

~~~~~

Techno: I'm the smartest, most skilled person in this SMP
Clay:
Clay: Is your hand stuck in the vending machine?
Techno: I paid for my candy bar and I am getting my candy bar

~~~~~

Darryl: So my plan for dealing with pretty much anything is just no sleep, drink lots of coffee, and hope the power of love and friendship can get me through it all
Zak: Bad, do you take constructive criticism?
Darryl, already tearing up: Not without crying

(Someone help this poor muffin)