Ranboo, talking about the voice in his head: Everyone has demons...this one is mine
Ranboo: His name is Dream

~~~~~

Tubbo: Butter is just food lotion
The rest of the SBI:

~~~~~

Phil: Really, we all want the same thing for Valentine's Day. Love. Forgiveness. Chocolate.
Techno: Well, what I want is for everyone to leave me alone. How do I get that?

(Happy late Valentine's Day)
(Also same)

~~~~~

Dream: You can do anything you want, nobody is stopping you
Dream: Well, except maybe the cops

~~~~~

Tommy: Welcome to Applebee's! Would you like apples or bees?
Wilbur: B-bees??
Tommy: He has selected the bees!
Wilbur: Wait-
Tubbo: *walks in shaking a full jar of bees*
Wilbur: WAIT-

~~~~~

In The Tales Of The SMP
Sheriff Sherman Thompson (Techno), during the target practice: You all proved more or less adequate

(If this is confusing to you, watch The Tales Of The SMP)
(There's a youtuber names Quackinnit that posts all the VODs, which is how I'm caught up)
(It's my new addiction-)

~~~~~

Tommy: We're family
Techno: I would literally set you on fire

~~~~~

Dream: Why don't you just die with dignity!?
Tommy: We don't do anything with dignity!

~~~~~

Ranboo: Are you this rude to all your friends?
Techno: Yes, so don't think you're special

~~~~~

George: *puts a hand on Dreams head* Jesus, you're hot
Dream, laying on the couch: Damn right I am
George:
George: I will literally leave
Dream: No, please, I'm actually in a lot of pain right now

~~~~~

Wilbur: That's not funny
Tommy: I thought it was funny...
Wilbur: You don't count. You started bursting out laughing in the middle of a funeral because you thought of a meme you saw on Facebook years ago

~~~~~

Schlatt, drunk: anyone can shit aggressively, but it takes a man to UNSHIT WHAT HAS BEEN SHAT

~~~~~

Techno: My sarcasm and sincerity sound surprisingly similar

(So I was watching a video compilation of Techno talking about his dog, Floof, and that's probably the liveliest I've ever heard him speak)
(So now we know)
(Techno is only alive when he's RPing in Tales Of The SMP, and when he's talking about Floof)

~~~~~

Tommy (idk, this feels like something he'd say): As a tall person I cannot offer to reach something on a high shelf for a stranger, yet if they ask me i must oblige. This is the law of the giants

(Unless you're my uncle)
(He's the tallest person in my house)
(And once he sees one of us shorties struggling, he just gets the thing down for us)
(And he's the one who puts everything up high because he's the only tall person)
(I'm the second tallest, and I'm 5'5/5'6)

~~~~~

Anyone @ Techno: You really woke up today and chose violence
Techno: Well, what other choice was there?

(Ngl, Technos latest stream was badass near the end)
(Like, I will never forget that moment when he's threatening Bad, and he pulls out his axe (I think it was his axe) and says in the most menacing tone possible "The voices are saying Blood For The Blood God" and I just-)
(I simp hard for this man, and I think it's obvious as to why-)
(Like, I simp for two people)
(Eret, because he's a king)
(And Techno, bc idk why, I just do)

~~~~~

Tommy: I just fell down an entire flight of stairs and Tubbo, standing at the bottom goes "oh my, be careful" as if I already didn't fall all the way down

(I love watching them just mess with each other)

~~~~~

Techno: So have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?
Ranboo: Nope! My one true love remains myself!
Techno: Good, then you don't have to worry about being let down or rejected
Ranboo: Oh, don't worry, I let myself down a lot. You know...to keep it interesting

~~~~~

Tommy and Tubbo, staring at a broken Dicks Sporting Goods sign, only saying "Dicks Sportin"
Tommy: Dicks sportin'!
Tubbo: What's he sportin'?
Tommy: We just don't know

~~~~~

HBomb: Hewwow, I will be youw suwgeon today! Intewnal bweeding you say? Let's make ouw fiwst wittle incision!
Niki: Dowcto, wewre wosing him!
HBomb: Qwick! Hand me the defwibwuwatouw!
Fundy: Please...just let me die

(This hurt to type)

~~~~~

Techno: How does one procrastinate, but like, productively?

(Please, I need to know-)

~~~~~

Wilbur: You know, I've never liked the name Thomas
Tommy: What a weird way to kick me when I'm down

(Fun fact: my little brothers middle name is Thomas)
(And I was the one to pick his middle name)
(Partly because I knew I kid named Thomas in elementary school)
(And partly because I honestly do unironically like the name Thomas)
(I honestly like a lot of names unironically)
(It's not my fault that all the names I like are also the names of characters I like or people I watch-)

~~~~~

Wilbur: Look at this picture of the family. We were so happy
Tubbo: Where's Tommy?
Wilbur: He wasn't part of the family yet. That's why we're so happy

~~~~~

Dream: Well, I think I'd kill Sapnap, marry George and- actually, wait- I think I'd also have to fuck George...
Nick:
George:
Nick: We aren't playing Fuck, Marry, Kill...

(He's just talking to Chat, it's fine)

~~~~~

Techno: Some people are like slinkies
Techno: Relatively useless but they still make you smile when you push them down the stairs
Tommy:
Tommy: Please don't push me down the stairs
Techno: You can't stop me

~~~~~

Dream: I have this urge to do something stupid
George: I'm stupid, do me
Dream:
Sapnap:
Bad:
Ant:
George: Did I just say that out loud?

~~~~~

During L'manburgs revolution
Wilbur to Dream: Do not underestimate us
Tommy: Our motto is "maybe we'll get lucky this time"

~~~~~

Dream, under his breath: FuturePartnerSaysWhat
George: Huh?
Sapnap: What?
Dream: FUCK-

~~~~~

Wilbur: Where are you going?
Techno: Eh, it depends
Techno: When I die, probably Hell
Techno: But right now, the bathroom

(Yo, I'll see y'all in Hell)
(Let's make a day out of it)