A big thank you to moonkissedgirl for making the new cover!

NO ONE'S POV:

(MUSIC PLAYING)

WandaVision

Starring (Y/N)

WandaVision

Starring (Y/N)

We've got something cookin'

And it's lookin' good

We've got something cooking

And who knew we could

All great expectations

Lead to complications

But it's groovy and fun

It's me and it's you

Together, one plus one plus one

Is more than two

WandaVision

Starring (Y/N)

WandaVision

Starring (Y/N)

Some sudden surprises

Come in all shapes and sizes

But it's rainbows and sun

It's you and it's me

Together, one plus one plus one is family

WandaVision

Starring (Y/N)

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

A big thank you to Marvel_King01 for making this amazing intro!

(Cut to the living room where Dr. Nielsen uses a stethoscope to listen to Wanda's belly. After a few moments of listening, he takes the stethoscope away.)

Dr. Nielsen: Hmm. Hmm. Yep Definitely pregnant.

Wanda: [chuckles nervously]

(Y/N): That's a relief, Wanda. I thought you were getting fat.

Wanda: What?!

(Y/N): Oh, uh, nothing...

Wanda: That's what I thought. Anyway, well, that much we figured.

Vision: It's just kinda taken us by surprise. It's just kinda sudden. Quite suddenly, wasn't it? I mean, practically overnight.

(Y/N): More like in the blink of an eye.

Vision: I mean...How did this happen?

Dr. Nielsen: You see, when a man and a woman love each other very much...

(Y/N): Do we look like children to you, bub?

(Y/N takes a moment to realize what he just said.)

(Y/N): [whispers] Why did I say that?"Bub?" What does that even mean?

(Wanda places a hand on her brother's shoulder.)

Wanda: (Y/N)?

(Y/N): It's nothing to worry about, sis.

Wanda: Hmm, well, we're just tickled pink, or blue.

Dr. Nielsen: You're about four months now. Is that right?

(Wanda nods. Vision shakes his head. Y/N shrugs his shoulders. They look at each other and Vision switches to nodding.)

Dr. Nielsen: I thought as much. We let the ladies keep tabs on their growing babies with fruit. Makes it simpler for them.

(Wanda looks visually confused.)

(Y/N): Obviously?

Dr. Nielsen: At four months, the fetus is about as big as a pear. At five months, a papaya. Six, a grapefruit. Seven, pineapple. Eight, honeydew.

Wanda: [chuckles nervously]

(Y/N): Am I the only one who's getting hungry?

Vision: Hypothetically speaking, what size fruit would it be at, say, hmm, 12 hours?

Dr. Nielsen: Uh, pardon? 12 hours?

Wanda: Well, I think this line of questioning is fruitless. [chuckles]

Vision: Well, hypothetically speaking, should we be concerned?

Dr. Nielsen: Hypothetically speaking, every new father-to-be gets nervous.

Vision: Well, I have nerves of steel, so there goes your theory, Mr. Doctor...

(Y/N's thoughts): Steel. Vibranium. Adamantium. What's the difference?

Wanda: Vision, why don't you see the doctor out?

Vision: Good idea. Yes.

(Vision walks the doctor to the front door.)

Vision: Thank you so much for dropping by, Dr. Nielsen.

(Wanda smiles & walks to the kitchen while rubbing her belly with Y/N following her. Vision and Dr. Nielsen walk out of the house.)

(Y/N): Hey, Wanda?

Wanda: Yes, (Y/N)?

(Y/N): Um, could I--perhaps--possible, if it's no inconvenience to you...

Wanda: [chuckles lightly] Spit it out.

(Y/N): Heh, sorry. Could I touch your stomach?

Wanda: Of course you can.

(Y/N places his hand on his sister's stomach. After a couple of seconds, Y/N feels the baby move.)

(Y/N): [chuckles happily]

Wanda: You're going to be the best uncle ever, (Y/N).

(Y/N): Thanks, Wanda. I know I will be!

(Vision walks back inside.)

Vision: Huh. Strangest thing just happened outside with--Whoa, Nelly!

(Wanda turns, revealing herself to be much more visibly pregnant than before.)

Vision: Have you gotten bigger?

(Y/N): I think you need to get your eyes checked out, Vision. I just touched...

(Y/N notices Wanda's bump is bigger.)

(Y/N): That's freaky deaky, sis.

Wanda: Have I?

(She turns, knocking some fruit off of a table. Vision uses super speed to grab a papaya before it hits the ground.)

Wanda: I can't tell from this angle.

Vision: I can't wait...[chuckles softly]...to be a proud papaya.

(Y/N): [chuckles] Good one!

(Some time later, Wanda telekinetically assembles a crib in a nursery room. She begins to paint the walls. Y/N is practicing the faces he's going to make to his new niece or nephew. Vision sits in a chair and reads from a parenting book.)

Vision: "Nesting, the overwhelming urge during pregnancy to clean, organize, and prepare the home for the new baby."

Wanda: See you're an expert already.

(She opens a box of decorations and flies them up above the crib.)

Wanda: We've got nothing to worry about.

Vision: Nothing to worry about outside of morning sickness, mood swings, aching back and...Feet.

(Y/N): That's actually a lot to worry about.

Vision: Darling, you should probably sit down.

(Vision gets up.)

(Y/N): I agree with him.

Wanda: Stop being silly, you two. All I feel is excitement, happiness, and... [gasps] Oh!

Vision: Kicking? Already?

(Y/N): Wanda is gradually becoming more pregnant as the day goes by and you're surprised that the baby is kicking already?

(Vision feels her stomach.)

Vision: Wow!

Wanda: Oh, it's such a strange sensation. It's kind of fluttery. [giggles]

(Nearby, some butterfly shaped decorations turn into actual butterflies.)

Wanda: [gasps] Oh, did I do that? I didn't mean to.

(Wanda opens a window letting out all of the butterflies.)

Vision: Well, if that was the first kick, that puts you at about six months! Boy, oh, boy, I thought I had super speed. I can't keep up.

(Y/N): You're not alone there, Vision.

Vision: Please don't misinterpret. I can't wait to meet you, little Billy.

(Vision kisses Wanda's stomach.)

Wanda: Billy?

Vision: Yeah.

Wanda: Well, I was thinking Tommy. Just a nice, classic, all-American name.

Vision: Hmm, Tommy. Hmm, yeah. Yeah. Then there's Billy, isn't there? Named after William Shakespeare. "All the world's a stage. All the men and women, merely players."

Wanda: Well, I guess there's only one solution to this debate. Hope for a girl.

(Y/N): If it is a girl, how about you name her Viv?

Wanda: Viv? I like that name.

Vision: So do I.

(Wanda paints a stork on the wall.)

Wanda: [giggles]

Vision: Well, we ought to decide soon. I estimate the baby's due...It's not a constant progression, assumingly logarithmic, but were I to graph the fetal development thus far...

Wanda: He's gonna be here before you figure it out.

(Y/N): Or she's.

Vision: Nearest I can conclude is that Billy...

Wanda: Tommy.

(Y/N): Viv.

Vision: Hmm...is due Friday afternoon.

Wanda: In three days? [gasps] Maybe I should sit down.

(Some time later, Vision looks at a doll in the living room while Wanda & Y/N stand in the kitchen in the background. Vision points at the doll. Wanda starts a timer. Vision uses his super speed to change a diaper on the doll. After a moment, he holds his hands up & Y/N gives him a thumbs up.)

Vision: We are nothing if not prepared.

(Wanda grabs her stomach.)

Wanda: Oh!

Vision: Darling?

(Y/N): Sis?

Wanda: Ooh! Do any of your books talk about this? It's not painful, but it's strange.

Vision & (Y/N): A tightening sensation?

Wanda: Yep, that's it. Wait.

(Wanda & Vision look at Y/N.)

(Y/N): What? I've been reading the books as well.

Vision: Okay, where was it, where was it...?

(Vision looks through his book & finds it.)

Vision: "Braxton Hicks contractions, also known as false labor, usually starts in the third trimester. Named after John Braxton Hicks in 1875."

Wanda: Honey.

(Y/N): Get to it.

Vision: Sorry. Yes. Yes. Ooh! Excellent! Gives us a chance to work on our breathing exercises. It should go like this.

(Vision demonstrates. The three of them breathe for a few moments. But, unfortunately, it doesn't work. As Wanda groans, lights begin to flicker and water in the sink begins to splash around. The trio abandon the kitchen as household appliances malfunction around them. They stop in the living room as the lights begin to glow extremely bright and go back to back. Suddenly, everything stops going haywire.)

(Imagine Y/N behind them.)

Wanda: It stopped.

(Y/N): Great deductive skills, sis.

Wanda: Thank you, (Y/N).

Vision: Yes. I'll go check on the neighbors.

Wanda: Yes.

(Cut to Vision returning after checking on the neighbors.)

Vision: It appears that the whole block is out.

Wanda: Oh, and that was just a fake contraction. Who knows what will happen when the real thing starts.

(Wanda sits on the couch.)

(Y/N): The apocalypse.

Wanda: *glares at her brother*

(Y/N): Kidding, kidding. [whispers] Mostly.

Wanda: Do you think they know it's my fault?

Vision: Our neighbors?

Wanda: Well, yes, with all the close calls we've been having, it seems the people of Westview are always on the verge of discovering our secret.

(Y/N): I think you're giving these people too much credit.

Vision: Yes, I know what you mean.

(Y/N): Really?

Vision: But it's more than that, isn't it?

(Vision joins her on the couch.)

Vision: Mr. and Mrs. Hart, dinner. Outside with Herb. Even (Y/N).

(Y/N): What about me?

Vision: At dinner and after dinner.

(Y/N remembers what he did at and after dinner.)

(Y/N): You may have a point...

Vision: I think something's wrong here, Wanda.

(The shot skips and suddenly cuts back to before Vision sat down.)

Vision: Yes, I know what you mean.

(Y/N): Really?

Vision: The truth is, we are in uncharted waters and you know what?

(Vision sits as he talks.)

Vision: I'm anxious, too.

Wanda: We just don't know what to expect.

Vision: Nope.

Wanda: Will the baby be human or Synthezoid? A bit of both?

(Y/N): Probably a bit of both.

Vision: If he's anything like his ma, Billy will be perfect.

Wanda: You mean Tommy.

(Y/N): Or Viv.

Vision: Mmm...

Wanda: [gasps]

Vision: Oh, no, darling, are you all right?

Wanda: This is a real one!

(Y/N) & Vision: What?

(Vision floats up into the air.)

Wanda: I thought you said Friday afternoon!

Vision: Well, I didn't consider that the timings between developmental benchmarks could be quite random! [whimpers]

(Y/N): I mean, what did you expect? You're not even a doctor!

(Wanda begins doing the breathing exercises. Vision joins in and floats back to the ground. Wanda gets up and grabs his hands.)

Wanda: Better.

Vision: Yes, darling, thank you, it's passing.

(Y/N's thoughts): I thought Wanda's the one who's pregnant?

(Thunder rumbles and rain begins pouring inside the room.)

Wanda: Vis...(Y/N)...

Vision: Yes, dear?

(Y/N): Yeah?

Wanda: I think my water just broke.

Vision: Yes, dear.

(Y/N): I can see and feel that.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

(Cut to the living room where Wanda, Vision, & Y/N are hiding under a table from the rain.)

Vision: Well, I was just reading about the advantages of water birth.

(The rain suddenly stops.)

(Y/N): Finally.

Wanda: [sighs] Oh, thank goodness.

Vision: Let me help you up, dear. There you go.

(Vision helps her up.)

Wanda: What a mess.

(She uses her powers to bring a gust of wind into the room. Vision & Y/N struggle not to get blown backwards. Everything dries off.)

Wanda: Oh, that's better. [groans] Darling, do you think it's time to...

Vision: Call the doctor?

Wanda: Yeah. [groans]

Vision: Yes, I do, dear.

(Vision grabs the landline in the kitchen, then puts it back up.)

Vision: Damn, the phones are down, too.

(Y/N): They would be at a time like this.

(He grabs the landline in the kitchen, then puts it back up.)

Vision: I better run. Except, he might have already left for vacation.

Wanda: Where? At a time like this?

Vision: Well, in fairness, darling, the baby is approximately nine months early. I better leg it. You'll be all right here?

Wanda: Hmm. I've got my brother here so yes.

(Y/N): Still hurry though.

(Vision kisses her and runs out of the house with his super speed.)

Wanda: Okay.

(Wanda gasps and grabs her belly. Y/N massages her shoulders. The siblings hear a strange noise in the nursery. They slowly make their way over, but the doorbell rings and startles them before they can go in.)

(Y/N): [sighs] I'll get it.

Wanda: It's fine, (Y/N). I'll get it.

(Y/N): But you're--

(Before Y/N can finish, Wanda's making her way to the door with a coat on covering her bump & opens the door.)

Geraldine: Wanda, what's up?

(Geraldine looks at Wanda's coat curiously.)

Geraldine: It's 75 degrees out. You making a fashion statement?

(Geraldine walks in.)

(Y/N's thoughts): Yeah, come right on in...

Wanda: Hi, Geraldine. You know, now is not really a good time.

(Geraldine turns to face Wanda.)

Geraldine: No, no, no, it's foxy. You'll have to let me borrow it sometime.

(Y/N): [whispers] Oh, for the love of...

(Y/N begins to slowly pop his claws out but Wanda gives him a look saying no.)

(Y/N): Fine.

Geraldine: But first, I gotta borrow a bucket. Not to wear, to use.

(Wanda angrily closes the front door.)

Geraldine: Somehow, all the pipes in my ceiling burst at once and I gotta bail myself out.

Wanda: All right, sure. Just stay right there. My brother will keep you company while I go look for a bucket in the kitchen.

(Wanda jogs over to the kitchen.)

Geraldine: Okay, then.

(Y/N): I'm sorry to hear about your pipes.

Geraldine: Oh, don't sweat it, big guy.

Wanda: I think it's just here under the sink! [screams]

(As Wanda screams, her coat turns into a raincoat.)

Geraldine: Are you all right in there?

(Y/N): I'm sure my sister's fine.

Wanda: Yes, I'm just looking.

(The raincoat turns into a fur coat.)

Wanda: Oh!

Geraldine: We should help her, (Y/N).

(Y/N): Believe me. She's got it under control.

Wanda: No! I mean, no thank you.

(Geraldine walks into the kitchen with Y/N trying his best to hold her back.)

Geraldine: Bingo!

(Y/N): Sorry, sis. She's stronger than she looks.

(Wanda quickly grabs a bowl of fruit in front of herself.)

Geraldine: Would you look at that?

Wanda & (Y/N): What?

Geraldine: Fruit. Wanda! Thank you.

(Geraldine walks up to Wanda & grabs an apple.)

Geraldine: Yummy.

(Geraldine walks away. The Maximoff siblings follow her.)

Wanda: Well, good luck with the leak.

Geraldine: Oh, that...Oh! Say, Wanda, I've got a question for you.

(Y/N): [groans]

(Geraldine walks over to the couch.)

Geraldine: You know how I've been working that temp job, right?

(Geraldine & Wanda sit across from each other with Y/N standing next to his sister.)

Geraldine: Well, my boss, Mr. Haddox, he was going crazy yesterday...

(Wanda & Y/N looks in shock as a stork walks up behind Geraldine.)

Geraldine: Oh, look at me going on and on like you two got all the time in the world. Let me go on and get out...

Wanda: Wait. No. Tell me about the temp job.

Geraldine: Oh, that's my girl.

(Y/N whispers into his sister's ear.)

(Y/N): [whispers] I'll take care of the stork.

Wanda: [whispers] Please.

(Geraldine & Wanda continue their conversion as Y/N goes after the stork. He chases the bird all around the kitchen, somehow Y/N's able to not knock anything over. He's able to tackle the bird near the stairs.)

(Y/N): [whispers] Gotcha!

(That may be true but it's short lasted as the stork begins to peck Y/N's face until he lets go of the bird.)

(Y/N): [whispers, winces] Stupid bird.

(The stork wanders into the nursery with Geraldine unknowingly following it & the Maximoff siblings follow her. Wanda holds a flower vase in front of her stomach.)

Geraldine: Is that what I think is?

Wanda: Oh, a stork, yes, I can explain. [chuckles nervously]

(Y/N): They're quite dangerous.

Geraldine: No, the crib!

Wanda: [gasps]

(Wanda drops the flower vase.)

Wanda: [panting] It's coming. Oh. The baby's coming.

Geraldine: You're pregnant?

(Y/N): We were so close...

(Geraldine & Y/N help Wanda into the living room.)

Geraldine: Now, let's get you comfortable. Okay?

(Geraldine grabs some pillows from the couch.)

Wanda: [groans] I think I'm gonna lay down right here.

(Y/N): Don't you think the couch would be better?

Wanda: Not now, (Y/N).

(Y/N): Right, sorry.

Geraldine: Okay.

(Wanda lays down behind the couch. A nearby vacuum goes haywire.)

Wanda: Vision ran to get the doctor. He'll be back soon.

Geraldine: No, no, there's not enough time for that. Relax. Relax.

(Geraldine sets up some pillows for Wanda to rest her head. She grabs the bucket and runs to the kitchen.)

Geraldine: You know your breathing, right?

(Y/N): You can do this, Wanda.

Wanda: [breathing heavily]

Geraldine: Wanda, I can't hear you.

(All around the house things go haywire. Geraldine gasps when a light fixture falls onto a table.)

Geraldine: I may be late to the party, but I imagine there is a logical explanation for this.

Wanda: It's all perfectly natural! [screams]

(Y/N's thoughts): Think, (Y/N), think! I have to do something!

Geraldine: Hey, you're doing great.

Wanda: [breathing heavily]

Geraldine: You're doing great. Look at me. Look at me.

(Geraldine & Wanda breathe together.)

Wanda: [whispers] I can't do this.

(Y/N): Don't worry, Wanda. I've got you.

Wanda: Huh?

(Y/N): I'm prepared to give you a C-section.

Geraldine: What?!

Wanda: With wha-

(Wanda realizes what her brother's going to perform the C-section with.)

Wanda: On second thought, I think I can do this.

*SKINT*

(Y/N pops three of his claws.)

Geraldine: Did those just come out of your hands?

(Y/N): This is going to hurt me way more than it's going to hurt you, Wanda.

Wanda: Geraldine, keep (Y/N) away from me!

Geraldine: (Y/N), back up!

(Y/N): Okay, okay.

(Y/N retracts his claws back into his hand. Geraldine checks under Wanda's clothes.)

Geraldine: It's time to start pushing.

Wanda: Oh.

Geraldine: You ready? You're ready. You're ready.

(Wanda keeps shaking her head.)

Geraldine: Push. Push, Wanda. Push!

Wanda: [screams]

Geraldine: Push! That a girl.

(Y/N): You're doing great!

(Things reach a climax before finally setting down as Wanda begins to breathe normally again. Geraldine gets up holding a baby and it begins to cry.)

Geraldine: It's a boy.

(Geraldine hands the baby to Wanda.)

Wanda: Hi. Hi. Oh, he's perfect.

(Y/N): *wipes a tear from his eye*

(Vision runs in with Dr. Nielsen.)

Vision: Oh, no. I missed it.

(Geraldine takes the doctor to the kitchen.)

Vision: Well done, Wanda.

(Y/N): She did great.

Wanda: Well, don't you wanna meet your son as yourself or are you gonna let your brother-in-law hog him all for himself?

(Y/N): I'm not hogging him, am I?

(Vision looks around and drops his human facade. He kneels down and picks up the baby.)

Wanda: Ooh. You're strong.

Vision: Hello there, little Tommy.

Wanda: Tommy?

(Y/N's thoughts): Aw.

Vision: Yes, Tommy.

(He leans in to kiss her, but she screams. He screams back in surprise. As does Y/N.)

Vision: What? Good heavens! There's another baby coming.

Wanda: Billy?

(Y/N): [whispers] So much for Viv.

Vision: Wanda, push! Push!

(She continues to yell. Cut to some time later. Dr. Nielsen expects the babies Y/N holds one baby and Vision holds the other. Wanda stands between them and Geraldine sits on the couch.)

Dr. Nielsen: Twenty fingers and twenty toes. You've got two healthy baby boys on your hands.

(Y/N): Great.

(Y/N hands Wanda a baby.)

Wanda: Thank you, Doctor.

Dr.Nielsen: Yeah. All in a day's work.

(Dr. Nielsen turns to Geraldine.)

Dr. Nielsen: And thank you for your assistance, young lady. I think you might have what it takes to be a nurse.

(Geraldine and Wanda give each other looks.)

Vision: Allow me to walk you out, Doctor.

(Vision places a baby in a crib.)

Dr. Nielsen: Oh, all right. As long as we actually walk this time.

(Y/N): I'm surprised you were able to hang on, doc.

Vision: Come.

(They leave as Geraldine gets up & walks over to the Maximoff siblings.)

Wanda: [sighs] I do owe you a debt of gratitude.

Geraldine: [chuckles]

Wanda: Especially since you stopped my brother from cutting me open.

(Y/N): Hey! You would've been fine...probably.

Geraldine: You're such a strong lady.

Wanda: Oh.

(Wanda waves her hand dismissively.)

(Y/N): She's not wrong.

Geraldine: Can you believe it? Twins!

(Geraldine pats one of the babies.)

Geraldine: Hi. [chuckles softly]

Wanda: (Y/N) and I are twins.

(Y/N): That we are.

Wanda: We used to be triplets. We had a brother. His name was Pietro.

(Geraldine looks at Wanda somberly. Wanda begins singing a lullaby in Sokovian to her babies & Y/N eventually joins her.)

Wanda & (Y/N): (IN SOKOVIAN) I waited for you / And this day has come / My heart became a home full of light / Full of light...

Geraldine: He was killed by Ultron, wasn't he?

(Y/N): Yeah...he was.

Wanda: What did you say? What did you say just now?

(Y/N grabs his head & begins to think about everything that's been happening to him recently. Him saying "bub" & imagining himself drowning with a car on top of him. Y/N even looks down at his wedding finger & imagines a blurry woman with red hair again.)

(Y/N): [winces] My head...

Geraldine: I said, Wanda, you're such a strong lady. Should I say it one more time for good measure?

(Geraldine walks away & sits on the couch.)

Wanda: No. What did you say about Pietro?

(Y/N imagines the blurry woman with red hair once again but this time she speaks to him.)

Red Haired Blurry Woman: Killer.

(Y/N): [whispers] Who's that?

Geraldine: Pietro? Uh...Hey, I'll take a shift rocking the babies.

Wanda: No, I think you should leave.

(Y/N): Yeah, Geraldine. You should go.

Geraldine: Oh, Wanda, (Y/N), don't be like that.

(Wanda looks at Geraldine's sword necklace.)

Wanda: What is that?

Geraldine: What?

Wanda: That.

(Geraldine lifts the object on her necklace.)

Wanda: That symbol.

Geraldine: I, uh...I...

(Y/N): Looks familiar.

Wanda: Who are you?

Geraldine: I don't...

Wanda: Who are you?

(Y/N): You better answer her.

Geraldine: Wanda...I...[breathing trembles] I...Wanda.

(Cut to Vision entering the living room, in his robot form.)

Vision: Wanda? (Y/N)?

(Wanda stands over the crib while Y/N standing next to the couch.)

Vision: Where's Geraldine?

Wanda: Oh, she left, honey. She had to rush home. Isn't that right, (Y/N)?

(Y/N): Yeah, Wanda. Yeah...

(Cut to a shot of a "Welcome To Westview" sign. A strange shimmer appears in the air. Geraldine is thrown backwards out of it. She lands in the grass. Cars drive up beside her. A helicopter shines a light on her from above. Armed men approach. The camera pulls back and shows a large camp set up near a shimmering wall around Westview.)