NO ONE'S POV:

Somewhere In New York

(Y/N walks into a bar wearing his Wolverine suit.)

Wolverine: Hmm.

(Y/N looks around the bar to see that it's full of bikers.)

Wolverine: This seems to be the place.

(Some bikers notice Y/N.)

Biker W4: Hey, is that...?

Biker T5: It's the Wolverine!

Biker W1: The hell do you want?

Wolverine: Rude. Maybe I'm here for a drink.

Biker R7: You're not dressed for a drink.

Wolverine: You got me there.

Biker R3: Do you have business here?

Wolverine: Maybe. All of you wouldn't be a part of the Dogs of Hell, would you?

Bikers: We are.

Wolverine: Perfect.

*SKINT*

(All of the Dogs of War aim their guns at Y/N.)

Dogs of War Member W4: You here to arrest us, Avenger?

Wolverine: Two things. One, I guess you haven't been watching the news recently but The Avengers aren't a thing anymore.

Dogs of War Member R7: The second thing?

Wolverine: I'm not here to arrest y'all.

(The Dogs of War realize why he's here.)

Wolverine: I would've tracked you guys down sooner but some guy going by The Punisher has mostly taken you out. So you can say I'm here to-

*BANG*

(A Dogs of War member shoots Y/N in the head causing him to hit the ground.)

*THUD*

Dogs of War Members: [laughing]

Dogs of War Member R3: Man, the Wolverine ain't shit!

(The Dogs of War continue to laugh but unaware to them...Y/N has healed from the gunshot & stands back up to the surprise of the Dogs of War.)

Wolverine: Take out the rest of the trash.

(Y/N charges at the Dogs of War with bullets flying at him & through him but it doesn't seem to phase him. Y/N goes onto cutting many limbs off; from arms, legs, hands, feet, & fingers. Some of the Dogs of War are lucky, not in escaping, but Y/N stabs them in the head or in the heart which makes their deaths quick. As the massacre goes on, Y/N stabs one of the Dogs of War in the lower back.)

Dogs of War T5: [painfully yelps]

(Throughout all of this, the same words repeat in Y/N's head.)

Wanda's Voice: "I never want to see you again."

Wolverine: [yells]

(Y/N rips the poor Dogs of War member in half.)

Wolverine: [deep breathes]

(Y/N looks around the bar to see bodies, limbs, & blood.)

Wolverine: I should check the restroom.

(Y/N enters the restroom to check for any stragglers only to see more bodies. Y/N turns to a mirror & looks at himself.)

*PHONE VIBRATIONS*

(Y/N answers his phone.)

Wolverine: Hello?

Tony: Hey, (Y/N).

Wolverine: Tony.

Tony: By that reception, I take it you're not happy to hear from me.

Wolverine: Meh.

Tony: "Meh?"

Wolverine: Yeah, "meh."

Tony: Well, I'm calling to tell you that I know you've been doing some...messy work.

Wolverine: That's one way to describe it. Besides, I've got nothing better to do with my time. Pietro's dead, Wanda hates me, and I haven't talked to or seen Natasha in what seems like forever!

Tony: You could talk to someone.

Wolverine: Haven't you been listening? I have no one to talk to! I'm better off expressing how I feel through what I'm doing now.

Tony: Through killing people?

Wolverine: At least they deserve it.

Tony: [sighs]

Wolverine: If that's it-

Tony: No, it's not. I actually called to offer you something.

Wolverine: Offer me what?

Tony: A job.

Wolverine: Why would you offer me a job?

Tony: Out of the kindness of my heart? I feel bad because it's my fault that you're doing what  you're  doing now and I'm trying to make amends?

Wolverine: Okay, okay. What kind of job?

Peter Parker's Recording During Civil War

Spider-Man: Okay, there's Captain America, Iron Man, Black Widow, Wolverine. Whoa. Who's that new guy?

Tony: Underoos!

Spider-Man: Oh, that's me. I gotta go. I gotta go.

Sometime Later

Spider-Man: Okay, so the craziest thing just happened. Wolverine fought Captain America, he's pretty cool and then I fought Captain America, I stole his shield. I threw it at him--

(Antman becomes huge.)

Spider-Man: What the hell? He's big now. I gotta go. Hang on.

Two Months Later

(Y/N is standing in front of an apartment building.)

(Y/N): First day on the job.

(Y/N walks inside as he adjusts his tie.)

(Y/N's thoughts): I still don't understand why I have to wear a tie but if it gets Happy off my back I'll get used to it.

(Y/N walks into an elevator & clicks the seventh button.)

(Y/N): [whistles along with the elevator music]

(The elevator stops & Y/N walks out. He walks up to one of the apartment doors.)

(Y/N): [knocks on the door]

(Someone answers.)

May: Yes?

(Y/N): Hello, is this the Parker Residence?

May: It is.

(Y/N): And you're May Parker?

May: I am.

(Y/N): No you're not.

May: [chuckles] I'm pretty sure I am.

(Y/N): You're way too beautiful to be someone's aunt. I must have the wrong apartment.

(Y/N pulls out a piece of paper & reads it over.)

(Y/N): Nope, this is the right one.

May: Thanks for the compliment, Mr...?

(Y/N): Didn't someone call?

May: No.

(Y/N): They told me someone would call.

May: Call about what?

(Y/N): Sorry about the confusion, Mrs. Parker. I'm (Y/N) Howlett and I'm your nephew's bodyguard.

May: Oh, this is because of the Stark Internship, isn't it?

(Y/N): Yes, ma'am.

May: Please come inside.

(Y/N): Next time, We don't want Peter to be late.

May: Of course. He'll be out in a second.

(May goes back inside to get Peter.)

(Y/N): I can't believe she's someone's aunt. Damn.

(Peter walks out of his apartment & walks away from Y/N.)

(Y/N): So we're gonna walk and talk, huh.

(Y/N catches up to Peter.)

Peter: Good excuse.

(Y/N): What?

Peter: You being my bodyguard. What's the mission?

(Y/N): Sorry to burst your bubble, kid. I am your bodyguard.

Peter: Oh, but I don't need one.

(Y/N): I agree with you. If it makes you feel better, I'll be your Happy.

Peter: All right...

(Y/N & Peter are in an elevator heading down.)

Peter: So tell me about yourself.

(Y/N): [chuckles] You don't remember me?

Peter: Should I?

(Y/N): I was wearing a mask so that probably explains it.

Peter: Mask?

(Y/N): Is there a camera in this elevator?

Peter: No.

(Y/N): That seems unsafe.

*SKINT*

(Y/N shows Peter his claws.)

Peter: You're The Wolverine!

(Y/N): Ha, took you long enough.

Peter: The Wolverine is my bodyguard. That's badass!

(Y/N): *grins* I suppose.

Peter: Wait, May said "Howlett." Isn't your last name Maximoff?

(Y/N): It is. But Tony told me that your aunt probably wouldn't want me around you.

Peter: Yeah, you are scary.

(Y/N): I'm not that scary.

(Cut to Y/N & Peter on a train with Peter texting Happy.)

Peter's Text: Hey Happy just checking in. I'm out of school at 2:45 PM 👊Ready for my next mission! I'm assuming that having (Y/N) as my bodyguard means that I'm getting a mission soon, right? It's Peter BTW. Parker.

(Peter scrolls up his phone to see the other countless messages he's sent to Happy.)

(Y/N): Are you texting Happy again?

Peter: No...

(Y/N): You're a crappy liar, kid.

Peter: Right...

(Y/N): Don't sweat it, I'm not good at lying either.

(Cut Peter & Y/N about to enter Midtown High until a car honks at them.)

Flash: What's up, Penis Parker?

(Y/N): Is that guy your bully?

Peter: Not really. He's just...

(Y/N): A dick?

Peter: Correct.

(Y/N): Gotcha, I'm gonna go slash his tires.

Peter: What? Don't!

(Y/N): Why not?

Peter: Because I'm sure that's not what bodyguards are supposed to do!

(Y/N): Fair point.

Peter: [sighs] Okay. I'll be out at 2:45 so I'll meet you back here.

(Y/N): No can do.

Peter: Huh?

(Y/N): I'm supposed to stay by your side.

Peter: You don't have to do that.

(Y/N): I do, Mr. Parker. It's my job. The school's okay with me following you anyway.

Peter: Call me Peter and fine.

(Y/N): Thank you, Peter.

Peter: You're not going to follow me into my classes, are you?

(Y/N): Of course not. I'll be in the hallway. Unless you want me to?

Peter: No, I don't.

(Cut to Y/N & Peter by his locker.)

(Y/N's thoughts): I guess I should put on the shades.

(Y/N puts on his shades.)

(Y/N's thoughts): I really look the part now.

(Y/N notices some girls looking at him.)

(Y/N): *waves awkwardly*

Girls: [giggling]

Ned: Join me and we'll build my new LEGO Death Star.

Peter: What? No way. That's awesome. How many pieces?

Ned: Three thousand eight hundred and three.

(Y/N's thoughts): Cool.

Peter: That's insane.

Ned: I know. Want to build it tonight?

Peter: No, I can't tonight. I've got the Stark--

Ned: Mm-hm. Stark Internship.

Peter: Yeah, exactly.

Ned: That explains the "man in black" following us. Cool shades by the way.

(Y/N): Thanks.

Ned: Always got that internship.

Peter: Yeah, well, hopefully, soon it'll lead to a real job with them.

Ned: That would be so sweet.

Peter: Right?

(Y/N's thoughts): He's not a bad liar overall.

(Ned & Peter continue their conversion about building the Death Star but Peter stops listening because he's too busy looking at Liz.)

Peter: That'd be great.

Ned: You're welcome to join us, man in black.

(Y/N): (Y/N). And thanks for the invite.

(Cut to Peter & Ned having lunch with Y/N standing behind them.)

Peter: Are you sure you don't want anything, (Y/N)?

(Y/N): I'm fine. Enjoy your lunch.

(Peter & Ned stare at Liz.)

Peter: Did Liz get a new top?

Ned: No. We've seen that before, but never with that skirt.

Peter: We should probably stop staring before it gets creepy.

(Y/N): That would be best.

MJ: Too late. You guys are losers.

Ned: Well, then why do you sit with us?

MJ: Because I don't have any friends.

(Y/N's thoughts): She's...honest.

(Cut to Decathlon practice.)

Mr. Harrington: Peter, it's nationals. Is there no way you could take one weekend off?

Peter: I can't go to Washington. If Mr. Stark needs me, I have to make sure that I'm here.

Flash: You've never been in the same room as Tony Stark.

(Y/N): *glares*

Flash: Tell your man servant to stop looking at me.

Peter: He's not my man servant and (Y/N), stop looking at him.

(Y/N stops glaring at Flash.)

(Y/N's thoughts): Kid's got thick skin.

(The rest of the decathlon team overhears that Peter won't be coming with them to nationals.)

Liz: Flash, you're in for Peter.

Flash: I don't know. I gotta check my calendar first. I got a hot date with Black Widow coming up.

(Y/N's thoughts): Yeah, I'm definitely slashing his tires.

(School is over as Y/N accompanies Peter to a sandwich shop where the cat hisses at Y/N & he silently growls back at the cat. They are now walking across the street.)

Peter: How'd it feel to slash Flash's tires?

(Y/N): Great. I know you told me not to but he deserves it.

Peter: Thanks for that.

(Y/N): Anytime.

Peter: So what was up with you and Murph?

(Y/N): Murph?

Peter: Mr. Delmar's cat.

(Y/N): Oh, you heard that. Cats and I don't really get along.

Peter: More of a dog person?

(Y/N): Precisely.

(Y/N follows Peter into an alleyway.)

(Y/N): You must get that a lot about your aunt.

Peter: It's nothing I haven't heard before. Wait, you speak Italian?

(Y/N): Un po.

("A little bit" in Italian.)

Peter: Beh, non sei pieno di sorprese.

("Well, aren't you full of surprises" in Italian.)

Peter: You can go. We're done for today.

(Peter begins taking off his clothes.)

(Y/N): What are you doing?

Peter: I'm changing into my suit.

(Y/N): Oh, you're gonna go patrol.

Peter: Pretty much.

(Y/N): I'll follow you.

Peter: You don't have your suit.

(Y/N): Good point.

Peter: Go home and freshen up. May wants you over for dinner.

(Y/N): Oh, that's nice. I'll definitely be there.

(Peter changes into his Spider-Man suit.)

Peter: Don't be late.

(Y/N): I won't. I'm in the apartment across from yours.

Peter: Of course you are.

After Spider-Man Dealt With The ATM Robbers

(Peter is  on the phone with Happy.)

Happy: Yeah?

Peter: Happy, the craziest thing just happened to me. These guys were robbing an ATM with these high-tech weapons--

Happy: Take a breath. I don't have time for ATM robberies of the thoughtful notes you leave behind. If you could just tell (Y/N) all of this that would be great. I have moving day to worry about. Everything's gotta be out by next week.

Peter: Wait, wait. You're moving? Who's moving?

Happy: Yeah, don't you watch the news? Tony sold Avengers Tower. We're relocating to a new facility upstate where hopefully the cell service is much worse.

Peter: But what about me?

Happy: What about you?

Peter: Well, what if Mr. Stark needs me or something big goes down. Can I please talk to Mr. Stark?

Happy: Stay away from anything dangerous. I'm responsible for making sure that (Y/N) is responsible for making sure that you're responsible, okay.

Peter: I am responsible. I--Oh, crap. My backpack's gone.

Happy: That doesn't sound responsible.

Peter: I'll call you back.

Happy: Feel free not to.

(As this was happening, Y/N & May were getting to know each other.)

(Y/N): Thanks again for having me.

May: It's the least I could do for the man who's going to be looking out for Peter.

(Y/N): You're too kind.

May: I see that you're wearing the same suit from this morning.

(Y/N): Yeah, sorry about that. This is the only suit I have.

May: There's no need to apologize for that. Just make sure to get a new suit for the next time you come over.

(Y/N): I'll be sure to do that, ma'am.

(Y/N's thoughts): She may be the sweetest woman I've ever met.

(May & Y/N walk by Peter's room with Ned inside holding the LEGO Death Star.)

Ned: Hey, man in black!

(Y/N): Hello, Ned.

May: You've already met Ned?

(Y/N): Somewhat.

May: Why don't you and Ned get to know each other?

Ned: Yeah!

(Y/N): I don't see why not.

May: I'll call you for dinner. Peter should be back by then.

(May leaves Y/N to talk with Ned.)

(Y/N): Nice shir-

(Y/N sees Peter through the window. Peter enters his room through the window & he tells Y/N to be quiet.)

(Y/N): Uh-

Peter: [whispers] Quiet.

(Peter takes his mask off & closes his door slightly. He turns around to see Ned, who, in his shock, drops the Death Star.)

May: What was that?

Peter: Uh, it's nothing. Nothing.

Ned: You're the Spider-Man. From YouTube.

Peter: I'm not. I'm not. Why didn't you tell me he was here, (Y/N)?!

(Y/N): I was trying too but you told me to be quiet!

Ned: You were on the ceiling.

Peter: What are you doing in my room?

Ned: May let me in. We were gonna finish the Death Star.

Peter: You can't just bust into my room!

(May walks into Peter's room.)

May: [laughing] That turkey meatloaf recipe is a disaster. Let's go to dinner. Thai? Ned, (Y/N), you want Thai?

Ned: Yes.

Peter: No. He's got a thing.

Ned: A thing to do after.

May: (Y/N)?

(Y/N): Next time for sure. I still have to get settled.

May: Of course. Maybe put on some clothes.

(May leaves the room.)

Ned: Oh, she doesn't know but the man in black does?

(Y/N): I love the nickname but please call me (Y/N).

Peter: Nobody knows. Except for (Y/N) and Mr. Stark because he made my suit. That's it.

Ned: Tony Stark made you that? Are you an Avenger?

Peter: Yeah.

(Y/N): Basically.

Ned: Oh, geez.

Peter: You can't tell anybody. You gotta keep it a secret.

Ned: Secret? Why?

Peter: You know what she's like. If she finds out people try and kill me every night, she won't let me do this. Come on, Ned, please.

Ned: Okay, okay, okay. I'll level with you. I can't keep this a secret. It's the greatest thing to ever happen to me.

(Y/N): If you tell you anymore, I will cut you into a million pieces.

Ned: Seriously?

Peter: No, he's kidding.

(Y/N): I'm really not.

Peter: Ned, May cannot know. I cannot do that to her right now. You know? I mean, everything that's happened to her--please.

Ned: Okay.

Peter: Just swear it, okay?

Ned: I swear.

Peter: Thank you. I can't believe this is happening now.

Ned: Can I try the suit on?

Peter: No.

Ned: How's it work? Magnets? How do you shoot the strings?

Peter: I'm gonna tell you tomorrow.

Ned: Great. How do you do this and the Stark internship?

Peter: This is the Stark internship.

Ned: Ohh...one more question.

Peter: What?

Ned: Why do you need a bodyguard if you're Spider-Man?

Peter: He's Wolverine.

Ned: [chuckles] Yeah, right.

*SKINT*

(Y/N shows Ned his claws.)

Ned: Cool...I've got some questions for you now.

(Y/N): I'll answer as many of them as I can once we're in the hallway.

(Y/N retracts his claws back into his hands as he pushes Ned out of Peter's room.)

Peter: Thanks, (Y/N).

(Y/N): Don't mention it.

(Cut to Y/N & Ned in the hallway.)

Ned: Does it hurt when they come out?

(Y/N): Every time.

Ned: Can I touch them?

(Y/N): No.

Ned: Do you have claws that come out of your feet?

(Y/N): I do not.

Ned: How'd you come up with the name, "Wolverine?"

(Y/N): [sighs] Actually, my sister came up with it.

Ned: Aw.

(Y/N): Just like Peter, I'll answer the rest of your questions tomorrow.

Ned: Nice, good night.

(Y/N waves Ned goodbye & enters his apartment.)

(Y/N): [heavy sigh]

(Y/N undoes his tie.)

(Y/N): What a day.

(Y/N changes out of his suit & lays in his bed.)

(Y/N): This job doesn't seem too hard so far.

The Next Day

(Peter & Ned are walking with Y/N behind them.)

Ned: You were bit by a spider? Can it bite me? Well, it probably would've hurt, right? Whatever. Even if it did hurt, I'd let it bite me. Maybe. How much did it hurt?

Peter: The spider's dead, Ned.

Ned: And you were experimented on?

(Y/N): Yeah.

Ned: Do you think the same people could run the same experiments on me?

(Y/N): Considering Hydra is no more, probably not.

(The trio sees the destroyed sandwich shop.)

Ned: You were here?

Peter: Yeah.

(Y/N): I leave you alone for a couple of hours and you destroy a business.

Peter: I had it under control.

Ned: You could've died. Do you lay eggs?

Peter: What? No.

(Y/N): [chuckles]

(Cut to gym class.)

Captain America: Hi. I'm Captain America. Whether you're in the classroom or on the battlefield...

Ned: Do you know him too?

Peter: Yeah, we met. I stole his shield.

Ned: What?

Peter: (Y/N) even fought him.

Ned: Who won?

Peter: Captain America.

Ned: Woah.

(Y/N overhears this.)

(Y/N): [groans] I'm never going to live that down.

(Cut to Peter, Ned, & the rest of the students doing exercises.)

Ned: Do Avengers have to pay taxes? What does Hulk smell like? I bet he smells nice.

Peter: You have to shut up. And you'd have to ask (Y/N) that question since he fought the Hulk.

Ned: Hmm, I'll be sure to ask him. Is Captain America cool, or is he like a mean, old grandpa?

Peter: Ned, just shh, okay.

(Cut to Y/N sitting in the bleachers.)

(Y/N): The bleachers aren't comfortable at all.

(Y/N looks down upon some students talking.)

Betty: Now, see, for me, it would be F Thor, marry Iron Man, and kill Hulk.

(Y/N's thoughts): Good choices.

Liz: It's just Spider-Man. See the bank security cam on YouTube? He fought off four guys.

Betty: Oh, my God, she's crushing on Spider-Man.

Liz: No way. Kind of.

(Y/N's thoughts): Looks like you've got a fangirl, kid.

Betty: He's probably, like, 30.

(Y/N's thoughts): I'm close to 30. Is there something wrong with being 30?

Ned: Peter knows Spider-Man.

(All the students in the gym immediately stop what they're doing.)

(Y/N's thoughts): Am I going to have to cut out his tongue?

Peter: No, I don't. No. I--I mean--

Ned: They're friends.

Flash: Yeah, like Coach Wilson and Captain America are friends.

Peter: I've met him, yeah. A couple of times. But it's through the Stark internship. Yeah, well, I'm not really supposed to talk about it.

(Y/N's thoughts): This is going swimmingly.

Flash: Well, that's awesome. Hey, you know what? Maybe you should invite him to Liz's party. Right.

Liz: Yeah, um, I'm having people over tonight. You're more than welcome to come.

Peter: You're having a party?

Flash: Yeah, it's gonna dope. You should totally invite your personal friend Spider-Man. Also, you wouldn't know why or how the tires on my car were slashed?

Peter: Uh, no.

(Y/N's thoughts): Keep up the attitude and I'm going to cut your car in half.

Liz: It's okay. I know Peter's way too busy for parties anyway, so...

Flash: Come on. He'll be there. Right, Parker.

(The bell rings & Y/N walks down the bleachers to Peter & Ned.)

Peter: What are you doing?

Ned: Helping you out. Did you not hear her? Liz has a crush on you.

(Peter realises this.)

(Y/N): Well, technically-

Ned: Dude, you're an Avenger. If any one of us has a chance with a senior girl, it's you.

(Cut to Y/N in his apartment bathroom.)

(Y/N): Maybe I should shave.

(Y/N looks at himself in the mirror. As he is, the last words Wanda said to him repeat in his head.)

Wanda: I never want to see you again. I never want to see again. I never want to see you again. I never-

*SMASH*

(Y/N punches the mirror.)

(Y/N): [winces] Now I need a new mirror.

*KNOCK*

(There's a knock at Y/N's door & he goes  to answer it.)

(Y/N): Hey, kid.

Peter: (Y/N), you're not in your suit?

(Y/N): Why would I be?

Peter: For the party? That I'm going to, you are my bodyguard.

(Y/N): Oh, yeah, that. Do you really need me?

Peter: I guess not. It is just a party.

(Y/N): Besides, I wouldn't want to cramp your style.

Peter: I don't think I have a style to cramp but thanks anyway.

(Y/N): Have fun, kid. And good luck with Liz.

Peter: Yeah, have a good night, (Y/N).

(Cut to Liz's roof.)

Peter: [whispering] "Hey, what's up? I'm Spider-Man. "Just thought I'd swing by and say hello to my buddy Peter. "Oh, what's up, Ned? Hey, where's Peter, anyways? He must be around..."

(Peter looks at the party.)

Peter: God, this is stupid. What am I doing?

Wolverine: You tell me, kid.

(Y/N appears behind Peter wearing his Wolverine suit.)

Peter: (Y/N)? I thought you said you weren't coming. And you're in your suit.

(Y/N): So are you.

Peter: Well, you see-

(Y/N): Don't have to explain, I know.

Peter: You know? How long have you been here?

(Y/N): Since you and Ned arrived.

Peter: You sure are dedicated to this bodyguard job, huh?

(Y/N): You could say that. Personally, I prefer you go with your original plan of being yourself.

Peter: Me too-

(An explosion interrupts their conversation.)

Peter: What the hell?

(Y/N): You're gonna go check out that explosion, aren't you?

Peter: Yup.

(Y/N): Lead the way.

Peter: Do you think you can keep up with me?

(Y/N): I'm pretty sure I can. Let's just go.

(Cut to Y/N & Peter hiding behind some cover from the weapon sellers.)

Spider-Man: Oh, this must be where the ATM robbers got their stuff.

Wolverine: Most likely.

(Peter's phone goes off.)

Wolverine: Are you serious?!

Spider-Man: Sorry!

(One of the sellers points their gun at the customer thinking he set them up until Peter gets their attention.)

Spider-Man: Hey! Come on. You gonna shoot at somebody, shoot at me.

(Peter webs the gun & swings it away from one of the sellers. He runs up to the other seller until he punches him with an electrified gauntlet.)

Jackson: [laughs incredulously]

Wolverine: I'll give you something to laugh about.

*SKINT*

(Y/N comes out of cover with his claws out.)

Jackson: Crap, it's the Wolverine!

(The sellers get in the van & begin to drive away. Not before Y/N is able to hop on to the roof of the van & Peter is able to web the back of it & be dragged from the van.)

Wolverine: [struggling] How ya doin', kid?

Spider-Man: I'm-

(Peter hits a trash can.)

Spider-Man: Doing great.

(One of the sellers fires a weapon at Peter which he's able to narrowly avoid. Y/N rips open the van's roof & takes a blast right in his face.)

Wolverine: [angrily winces] I'm going to rip out your-

(Suddenly a winged man lifts Y/N out of the van.)

Wolverine: What the-

(And tosses Y/N across the city. Luckly, Y/N lands near where Peter fell into the water.)

Wolverine: Don't worry, kid. I'm coming!

(Y/N dives in after Peter & drags him to shore.)

Peter: [coughing]

(Y/N): *takes off his mask & begins to dry it*

(Iron Man flies in & hovers in front of both of them.)

Iron Man: I never knew wolverines could swim.

Wolverine: Hilarious, Tony.

(Peter begins to explain what happened to him.)

Peter: And then he just, like, swooped down like a monster and picked me up, and took me up like a thousand feet and just dropped me. How'd you find me? Did you put a tracker in my suit?

Iron Man: I put everything in your suit. Including this heater.

(Pete's suit heats up.)

Peter: Whoa. That's better. Thanks.

Iron Man: What were you thinking? Why didn't you stop him, (Y/N)?

(Y/N): There was no stopping him. So I did the next best thing, I followed him.

Peter: The guy with the wings is the source with the weapons. I gotta take him down.

Iron Man: Take him down now, huh? Crockett, there are people who handle this sort of thing.

Peter: The Avengers?

Iron Man: No, no, no. This is a little below their pay grade.

(Y/N): So me?

Iron Man: Of course not. You're still an Avenger.

Peter: Mr. Stark, you didn't have to come out here. I had that. I was fine.

Iron Man: Oh, I'm not here.

(The Iron Man suit lifts the faceplate up revealing that Tony isn't in it. He's actually somewhere in India.)

Tony: Thank God I hired (Y/N) or you would be toast right now.

(Y/N): *gets water out of his ear*

Tony: Look, forget the flying vulture guy, please.

Peter: Why?

Tony: Why? Because I said so!

(Y/N): ...

Tony: Stay close to the ground. Build up your game helping the little people, like the lady that bought you the churro. Can't you just be a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man?

(Y/N): That does have a ring to it.

Peter: But I'm ready for more than that now.

Tony: No, you're not.

Peter: That is not what you thought when I took on Captain America.

Tony: Trust me, kid. If Cap wanted to take you out, he would've. Just ask (Y/N).

(Y/N): He was actually there, so...

Tony: Listen to me. If you come across these weapons again, let (Y/N) handle it and call Happy.

Peter: Are you driving?

Tony: You know, it's never too early to start thinking about college. I got some pull at MIT. End call.

(The Iron Man drone flies away.)

(Y/N): Come on, Peter. I'll walk you back.

Peter: No, I'm okay.

(Peter begins walking away.)

(Y/N): [whispers] I'll loosely follow.

(As Y/N is loosely following Peter, he doesn't see Peter picking up a piece of the weapon that the sellers were firing at them.)

(Cut to Ned & Peter with Y/N walking behind them in a school hallway.)

Ned: First, we put the glowy thing in the mass spectrometer.

Peter: We gotta come up with a better name than "glowly thingy."

(Y/N): "Glowy thingy?"

Peter: It's for a game.

(Y/N): A game?

(Peter sees one of the guys from last night & pulls Y/N behind a wall with Ned following them.)

Peter: [whispering] Hey, that's one of the guys that tried to kill us.

Ned: [whispering] What?

Peter: [whispering] Yeah.

(Y/N): [whispering] Why are they here?

Peter: [whispering] I may have, possibly...

(Peter tells Y/N what did.)

(Y/N): [whispering] Ugh, why am I not surprised?

Ned: [whispering] You didn't know?

(Y/N): [whispering] Clearly. I'll take care of them-

Peter: [whispering] No!

(Y/N): [whispering] "No?"

Peter: [whispering] I gotta follow them. They can lead me to the guy that dropped me in the lake.

Ned: [whispering] Someone dropped you in a lake?

Peter: [whispering] Yeah, it was not good.

(Y/N): [whispering] Hm, that makes sense.

Peter: [whispering] You stay with Ned.

(Y/N): [whispering] Why?

Peter: [whispering] Because you're not the most stealthiest guy.

(Y/N): [whispering] I can be stealthy.

Peter: [whispering] Just stay with Ned.

(Peter follows the men from last night leaving Y/N with Ned.)

Ned: How's your sister?

(Y/N): [sighs]

(A kid in a room knocks on the window behind them.)

Kid: What are you doing?

Ned: Nothing.

Kid: Oh.

Ned: Yeah. You good?

Kid: Chess.

(Y/N): I'm actually quite the chess player.

(Cut to Peter & Y/N with the Decathlon team.)

Peter: Yeah, I was hoping I could rejoin the team.

Flash: No, no way. You can't just quit on us, stroll up and be welcomed back everyone.

Mr. Harrington: Hey, welcome back, Peter! Flash, you're back to first alternate.

(Y/N's thoughts): Sucks to suck.

(Cut to on the bus where Peter gets a call from Happy.)

Happy: I got a blimp on my screen here. You left New York?

Peter: Yeah, it's just a school trip. It's nothing. Look, Happy, I gotta say, you tracking me without my permission is a complete invasion of my privacy. And, don't you think it's kinda overkill with (Y/N) watching over me like a hawk?

(Ned points at the scanner displaying the tracker on one of the weapon sellers.)

Ned: I thought (Y/N) was a wolverine?

Peter: He is and that's different.

Happy: What's different?

Peter: Nothing. Look, it's just the academic Decathlon. It's no big deal.

Happy: Hey, hey. I'll decide if it's no big deal. Sounds like it's no big deal, but remember, (Y/N) and I are watching you.

(Cut to Y/N standing in the back of the bus, watching Peter & his classmates.)

(Y/N's thoughts): These are some smart kids.

(MJ walks to the back of the bus & sits in front of Y/N.)

MJ: You can talk, right?

(Y/N): Yes, I can talk.

MJ: In that case, I have a question for you.

(Y/N): All right.

MJ: If Peter asked you to kill someone, would you?

(Y/N): Obviously not.

MJ: Are you lying?

(Y/N): No.

MJ: Sure.

(Cut to Y/N in his hotel room.)

(Y/N): Hmm, nice room.

(Y/N sits down on his bed.)

(Y/N): I bet Natasha would love this hotel.

(Y/N's thoughts): Okay, that's depressing.

(Y/N): Just focus on tomorrow. It's a decathlon. Should be interesting. And I'll probably learn a lot. [sniffs]

(Y/N sniffs the air.)

(Y/N): Ugh, where are you going, kid?

(Y/N follows Peter to the gas station & loses him in a forest but he's able to get Peter's scent once again.)

The Damage Control Deep Storage Vault

(Y/N is walking up to the vault that Peter is in.)

(Y/N): I'm so overqualified for this job.

(Y/N is now in front of the vault doors.)

*SKINT*

(Y/N cuts a door shaped hole on the vault doors. Y/N looks up & sees Peter hanging upside down.)

Peter: (Y/N)!

(Y/N): [waves nonchalantly]

Peter: I've never been more happy to see you!

(Y/N): I know.

Peter: How'd you find me?

(Y/N): I-

Peter: You tracked me by my scent?!

(Y/N): I did. How'd you figure that out?

Peter: Karen told me.

(Y/N): Who's Karen?

Peter: The suit lady.

(Y/N): Suit lady? Oh! You completed the Training Wheels Protocol.

Peter: [sighs] Even you know about it?

(Y/N): Good job. Though, I thought Tony or Happy would tell me.

Peter: Karen would like to know if she should call the nearest hospital.

(Y/N): Why?

Peter: Because, you know, you're here and your claws. [fake terror] "Ah, the Wolverine!"

(Y/N): [chuckles] There's no need to call them. I was stealthy.

Peter: Great, now, we've got to go.

(Peter & Y/N make their way to the Washington Monument. Peter's crawling his way up the monument while Y/N slowly walks next to MJ.)

(Y/N): [fake panting] Sorry, I overslept. But, I'm here now.

MJ: Just so you know, Peter's not with us. You suck at being a bodyguard.

(Y/N): [fake panting] I'm...learning?

A Few Days Later After Peter Saved His Classmates

(Y/N is exiting a grocery store.)

(Y/N): [yawns] I should really try going to sleep earlier.

(Y/N gets a phone call.)

(Y/N): Hello?

Tony: Afternoon, (Y/N).

(Y/N): Afternoon.

Tony: I'm assuming you saw what Peter did at the monument?

(Y/N): Obviously. He sure is something.

Tony: I know, right? I just have an eye for talent.

(Y/N): Sure ya do. I don't think he needs me anymore.

Tony: Hmm, you could be right. That's a discussion for another time. I've called to tell you that I'm pulling you off babysitting for the time being.

(Y/N): Seriously?

Tony: Aw, (Y/N). Were you getting attached to the kid? Or are you already attached to him?

(Y/N): Shut. Up.

Tony: [laughs] Actually, how would you like to clip this vulture's wings?

(Y/N): Go on.

(Cut to Peter "intimidating" Aaron Davis.)

Spider-Man: [deep voice] Remember me?

Aaron: Hey--

Spider-Man: [deep voice] I need information. You'll give it to me now.

Aaron: All right, chill.

Spider-Man: [deep voice] Come on!

Aaron: What happened to your voice?

Spider-Man: [deep voice] What do you mean?

Aaron: I heard you by the bridge. I know what a girl sound like.

Spider-Man: [deep voice] I'm not a girl! I'm a boy. I mean, I'm a--I'm a man.

Aaron: I don't care what you are, a boy, a girl--

Spider-Man: [deep voice] I'm not a girl! I'm a man. Come on, man. Look, who is selling these weapons? I need to know. Give me names or else.

(Aaron slams his trunk which startles Peter.)

Aaron: You ain't ever done this before, huh?

(Peter deactivates Interrogation Mode & Aaron is about to tell Peter where the vulture guy is going to be.)

Spider-Man: Where is it?

Aaron: Can I give you some advice?

Spider-Man: Hm?

Aaron: You got to get better at this part of the job.

Spider-Man: I don't understand. I'm intimidating.

Aaron: You should take lessons from your buddy, Wolverine. He's intimidating.

Spider-Man: I'll be sure to.

(Aaron tells Peter that the vulture guy will be on the Staten Island Ferry, 11. And Peter leaves Aaron.)

Staten Island Ferry, 11

(Y/N is sitting down around some people.)

(Y/N's thoughts): I wish I could've changed into my suit but that wouldn't work with the plan according to Tony.

(Y/N): *cracks his fingers*

(Y/N's thoughts): I'm only here if things were to go wrong.

(Y/N): Maybe I should've stuck with the kid?

(Cut to Tony talking to Peter.)

Tony: Nice work in D.C. You've really impressed (Y/N).

Spider-Man: Okay.

Tony: My dad never really gave me a lot of support and I'm just trying to break the cycle of shame.

Spider-Man: I'm kind of in the middle of something.

Tony: Don't cut me off when I'm complimenting you. Anyway, great things are about to--What is that?

[BUZZING]

Spider-Man: I'm at band practice.

Tony: That's odd. Happy and (Y/N) told me you quit band six weeks ago. What's up?

Spider-Man: I gotta go! End call.

Tony: Hey.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

(Stop video at 0:56.)

(Y/N jumps down with his claws out.)

(Y/N): Kid?

Spider-Man: (Y/N)? You're with the FBI?

(Y/N): Why aren't you in sch-

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

(Continue watching the video from 0:56. Everything in the video stays the same except as Peter is moving the FBI agents out of the way of the car that the Vulture has in his grasps, Y/N throws Peter out of the way of it so the car hits Y/N & Mac Gargan, sending them into the water.)

(Pan into the water with the car on Y/N, sinking to the bottom of the Upper New York Bay.)

(Y/N's thoughts): Hopefully...Peter is okay...

(Water begins to fill Y/N's lungs.)

(Y/N's thoughts): Am I...going to drown?

As (Y/N) Is In The Water...

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

(After Iron Man had fixed the ferry, he dived in the bay & rescued Y/N. He flies over to Peter with Y/N over his shoulder. He hovers near Peter & places Y/N down.)

Peter: Is he-

Tony: Give him a second. You get used to it.

(Y/N): [coughs up water]

Peter: [sighs]

Iron Man: You all right, (Y/N)?

(Y/N): *slowly gives Tony a thumbs up*

Iron Man: Previously on Peter Screws the Pooch, I tell you to stay away from this. Instead, you hacked a multimillion-dollar suit so you could sneak around behind my back doing the one thing I told you not to do.

Peter: Is everyone okay?

Iron Man: No thanks to you.

Peter: Those weapons were out there.

(Y/N): Kid-

Iron Man: Let him talk.

Peter: I tried to tell you about it, but you didn't listen. None of this would've happened if you just listened to me. If you even cared, you'd actually be here.

(Y/N): You're actually here...

Tony: [sniffs] I did listen, kid. Who do you think called the FBI, huh? Why do you think (Y/N) was there? Do you know I was the only one who believed in you? Everyone else said I was crazy to recruit a 14-year-old kid.

Peter: I'm 15.

(Y/N): Now smart, Peter...

Tony: No. This is where you zip it, all right? The adult is talking. What if somebody had died tonight? Different story, right? 'Cause that's on you. And if you died, I feel like that's on me. I don't need that on my conscience.

Peter: Yes, sir. I'm sorry. Yes. I understand.

Tony: Sorry doesn't cut it.

Peter: I just wanted to be like you.

Tony: And I wanted you to be better.

(Y/N's thoughts): My heart...

Tony: Okay, it's not working out. I'm gonna need the suit back.

Peter: For how long?

Tony: Forever.

(Y/N's thoughts): Oh, man...

Tony: Yeah, that's how it works.

Peter: No, no. Please, please.

Tony: Let's have it.

Peter: You don't understand. This is all I have. I'm nothing without this suit.

Tony: If you're nothing without this suit, then you shouldn't have it, okay? God, I sound like my dad.

(Y/N): You do sound like a dad right now.

Tony: And you sound like a terrible uncle.

Peter: I don't have any other clothes.

Tony: Okay, we'll sort that out.

(Cut to Y/N dropping Peter off at his apartment.)

(Y/N): I know you're down in the dumps right now but there's more to life than being a hero. You're still in high school and you've got your whole life ahead of you.

(Peter exits Y/N's car without saying a word.)

(Y/N): [sighs] Hopefully, I said the right things.

Avengers Tower

(Y/N & Happy are walking together.)

Happy: So, you're telling me you actually enjoyed being around that kid?

(Y/N): Yeah, he's not that bad.

Happy: I'll have to take your word on that.

(Y/N): Good then.

Happy: Why are you with me anyway?

(Y/N): Well, Tony thought you could use the company since it's moving day.

Happy: Did he really?

(Y/N): Yup.

Happy: That's nice. I like spending time with my protégé.

(Y/N): That may be pushing it.

Happy: No, it's not.

(Happy turms to the moving crew as he's getting a facetime.)

Happy: Takeoff in nine minutes. Hello? Hello? Who is this?

Ned: Uh...Mr. Happy, it's Ned.

Happy: Who?

Ned: I'm an associate of Peter Parker. Got something very important to tell you-

Happy: You gotta be shitting me.

(Happy hangs up on Ned.)

(Y/N): Was that Ned?

Happy: You know that kid?

(Y/N): Heh, unfortunately. It sounded like he had something important to tell you.

Happy: I highly doubt that.

(Y/N): Hmm.

Happy: All right, wheels up in eight minutes. We just got to load Tony's old Hulkbuster Armor, prototype for Cap's new shield, and the Meging--The Meg--The--Thor's magic belt.

(Y/N): Megingjörð?

Happy: Yes, thank you.

(Y/N): Mind if I catch a ride on the plane?

Happy: Why?

(Y/N): I think the plane may have something to do with why Ned called you.

Happy: Come on, (Y/N).

(Y/N): Humor me.

Happy: You've been around them for too long. They've rubbed off on you.

(Y/N): Calm down. How about this, you let me on the plane and nothing happens, I will personally announce to the world that The Wolverine is the protégé of Happy Hogan.

Happy: In that case, have a nice flight.

(Y/N walks into the plane as it's about to takeoff.)

(Y/N): How am I going to get back if nothing doesn't happen?

(The plane takeoffs.)

Plane Technician: Retroreflective panels engaged.

(The plane blends in with the sky.)

(Y/N): Why not just call it camouflage? Everything requires a fancy name nowaday--[sniffs]

(Y/N sniffs the air.)

(Y/N): I smell someone. Someone...old.

(Y/N follows the scent to someone looking at the camera feed from outside the plane.)

(Y/N): Hey! I think you're on the wrong flight.

Toomes: Nothing ever goes according to plan.

(Y/N): Plan?

(Toomes runs to the seal with Y/N chasing after him. Y/N is able to follow Toomes through his vacuum seal.)

*SKINT*

(Y/N sinks his claws into the plane before he falls.)

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

(Start the video at 2:33. Everything is the same, just imagine Y/N is hanging on to the plane & trying his best to keep up with Peter & Toomes.)

After The Crash Landing

(Y/N): [groans]

(Y/N regains his bearings.)

(Y/N): The kid actually moved the plane. Impressive. Wait, the kid?!

(Y/N is able to smell out Peter & runs to him.)

Peter: Hey, (Y/N).

(Y/N): So, this is what happens when I'm not by your side, huh?

(Toomes flies in, ending the reunion.)

Toomes: Hey, Pedro. And...Pedro's brother?

*SKINT*

(Y/N): [snarls]

(Y/N charges at Toomes with claws out, he's able to cut some parts of his wings off, & even slash across his goggles. Toomes flies up in the air & grabs Y/N around his chest, slams Y/N to the ground, & slash Y/N's throat.)

(Y/N): [gargling]

Peter: No!

Toomes: So, where were we?

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

(Start video at 1:17 & stop watching at 3:50.)

(Y/N finally heals from the throat cut.)

(Y/N): Ugh.

(Y/N looks over to the cargo & Toomes webbed together. So, he walks over to it.)

Toomes: That's some kid, huh?

(Y/N): *rubs his throat* Some kid indeed.

(Y/N sees a note Peter left & reads it.)

"Found flying Vulture guy.
"-Spider-Man"
"P.S. Sorry about the plane."
"P.S.S. You're okay, right, (Y/N)?"

(Y/N): [chuckles]

(Happy along with a clean up crew & some agents finally arrive. Happy looks at the cargo & Toomes webbed up. And Y/N sitting on one of the cargo boxes.)

(Y/N): So much for telling the world that I'm your protégé, huh?

(Cut to Happy & Y/N in Midtown High School's Boys restroom.)

(Y/N): Tell me why we're waiting for Peter in the restroom.

Happy: Because.

(Y/N): Because why?

Happy: Just because!

(Peter walks into the restroom.)

Peter: Hey, Happy, (Y/N). What--What are you doing here?

Happy: I really owe you one.

(Y/N): I just wanted to see you.

Peter: *smiles* Really?

(Y/N): Yeah.

Happy: I don't know what I would do without this job. I mean, before I met Tony--

(A kid flushes a toilet & washes his hands.)

(Y/N's thoughts): One of the reasons why we shouldn't have met in a restroom...

(The kid leaves.)

Peter: So how long have you two been here?

Happy: Long enough to be awkward. Boss wants to see you.

Peter: [whispers] Is he here too?

(Y/N): In the toilet?

Happy: No, he's upstate.

Peter: Upstate? Like, upstate-upstate?

Happy: Yeah, let's go.

New Avengers Base

(Happy, Y/N, & Peter are watching a Quinjet takeoff.)

(Y/N): You don't see that every day.

Tony: Oh, there they are. How was the ride up?

Happy: Good.

(Y/N): Nice.

Tony: Give me a minute with the kid.

Happy: Seriously?

Tony: Yeah. I got to talk to the kid.

Happy: We'll be close behind.

Tony: How about a loose follow?

(Y/N): That's better.

(Tony & Peter begin to walk & talk with Happy & Y/N loosely following them.)

Tony: Sorry I took your suit. I mean you had it coming. Actually it turns out it was the perfect tough-love moment that you needed, right? To urge you on? Wouldn't you think? Don't you think?

Peter: I guess.

Tony: Let's just say it was. [sighs]

Peter: Mr. Stark, I really--

Tony: You screwed the pooch hard, bigtime. But then you did the right thing. Took the dog to the free clinic, you raised the hybrid puppies. All right, not my best analogy.

(Y/N): Yeah, you lost me there.

Tony: That's not surprising. Where was I? Oh, yeah, I was wrong about you. I think with a little more mentoring, you could be a real asset to the team.

Peter: To the--To the team?

Tony: Yeah. Anyway, there's about 50 reporters behind that door. Real ones, not bloggers. When you're ready, why don't you try that on?

Tony: And I'll introduce the world to the newest official member of the Avengers: Spider-Man.

(Peter walks up to the suit.)

Peter: I--Heh. [chuckles incredulously]

(Y/N): [whispers] Sick suit.

Happy: Yeah, give that a look.

Tony: So after the press conference, (Y/N) will show you to your room, your quarters. Where's he between? Between Vision and (Y/N)?

Happy: Yeah, Vision's not big on doors.

(Y/N): Just let me know if he's ever too much.

Happy: It's fun.

Tony: Or walls. You'll fit right in.

Peter: Thank you, Mr. Stark, but I'm--I'm good.

Tony: You're good? How are you good?

Peter: [stammers] Well, I mean, I'd rather just stay on the ground for a little while. Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Somebody's got to look out for the little guy, right?

Tony: You're turning me down? You better think about this. Look at that. Look at me. Last chance. Yes or no?

Peter: No.

Tony: Okay. It's kind of a Springsteen-y, working-class hero vibe I dig. Ah, (Y/N) will take you home. Yeah?

(Y/N): Yeah. Come on.

Peter: Thank you, Mr. Stark.

(Peter & Tony shake hands.)

Tony: Yes, Mr. Parker,  very well. See you around.

Peter: Okay.

(Y/N & Peter begin walking away until Peter turns back.)

Peter: That was a test, right? There's nobody back there?

Tony: Yes, you passed. All right, skedaddle there,young buck.Take him home already, (Y/N).

(Y/N): We're going, we're going.

Peter: Thank you, Mr. Stark. Thank you.

(Y/N & Peter walk from Tony & Happy.)

(Cut to Y/N dropping Peter off at his apartment building.)

(Y/N): I can't believe I'm gonna say this but, I'm gonna miss ya, kid.

Peter: I'm gonna miss you too, (Y/N). What am I gonna do without you?

(Y/N): You'll be just fine without me. You were Spider-Man before you had me watching your back and I'm pretty confident that you'll be a better Spider-Man without me.

Peter: Heh, yeah. Bye, (Y/N).

(Peter exits the car.)

(Y/N): Hey, Peter!

Peter: What?

(Y/N): I'll see you around.

(Peter & Y/N wave goodbye to each other. Y/N begins to drive away until Peter runs in front of his car.)

Peter: Wait!

(Y/N): Geez, I could've ran you over.

(Peter walks over to the driver side window.)

(Y/N): What's up?

Peter: May wanted to know if you have a girlfriend?

(Y/N): Oh, really?

Peter: Ew, it's not like that.

(Y/N): Maybe I should walk you to your apartment and tell her myself.

Peter: Okay, never mind, forget I asked.

(Y/N): [chuckles] Peter, come back. I'm joking.

Peter: You're not funny.

(Y/N): To answer your aunt's question, I do have a girlfriend.

Peter: What's her name?

(Y/N): I'll tell you next time. Stop keeping your aunt waiting.

Peter: I'm gonna hold you to that!

(Peter runs into his apartment building.)

(Y/N): Good kid.

(Y/N is about to drive away but before he can, he gets a phone call.)

(Y/N): An unknown caller?

(Y/N answers the call.)

(Y/N): Hello?

Natasha: Long time, no see, killer.

(Y/N): Natasha! You don't know how much I missed hearing your voice.

Natasha: I can assume. It seems you've been busy playing babysitter.

(Y/N): Bodyguard and how'd you know?

Natasha: I have my contacts.

(Y/N): Of course you do.

Natasha: So I was wondering...

(Y/N): What?

Natasha: If my boyfriend would like to go somewhere with me.

(Y/N): Where?