Captain America Winter Soldier POV 

Okay, there is a sense of trust needed to have when you're dating the second in command of Shield, or if your dating one of the best spies in the world. Secrets are apart of their relationship, whether they want them to be or not. But there is always that one secret that can make or break any relationship. 

*

The air in the van was tense. After dumping the hydra agents far away, their secret driver drove away from the pack of vans and led to them Maria's top-secret base. She wouldn't tell anyone about it but they knew better than to ask questions. Steve was staring into Natasha's bullet wound as he attempted to stop the bleeding. Maria sat across them next to Sam. 

"I'm glad you are okay," Maria said, her comment was mostly to Natasha, everyone knew that. Natasha looked up at Maria, her hair was still a mess from the helmet she wore, but she was pretty sure she herself was probably a bigger mess. 

"My well being shouldn't be a concern at the moment," She spoke instead of a thank you. If she turned her head slightly she would see Steve giving her a pointed frown. Natasha always found it funny that he hated when she threw herself into the mission, when he did the exact same thing, hell he almost died today more than she did. But either way, she corrects her response to her girlfriend. "I mean the organization we have given our life to has literally a gun aimed at everyone's head. I got shot in the shoulder, I'll be fine. Besides I've been through worse." She gave her a tight smile. "Things can't possibly get worse." 

"you seem very cheery for someone who's lost a pint of blood," Maria said, the material that Steve had to her shoulder was seeping with blood. 

"Yeah well... you know me." She shrugged her shoulders. The van came to a stop and Steve helped Natasha out of the van. Maria walked beside her and her heartbeat rapidly as she let out the words. 

"I am sorry Natasha." She told the redhead spy before pushing the doors open. A doctor came running over to them. It was the same doctor who had worked on Fury before he died. 

"ESW she's lost at least a pint" Maria, her voice changed to one with authority, yelled at the doctor. 

"Maybe two!" Sam added.

"Let me take her!" He called out. 

"She'll want to see him first," Maria said shaking her head. The doctor looked annoyed before following the small group down the hallway. Natasha looked at Steve in confusion, he could only shrug his shoulders. 

Maria avoided eye contact and didn't answer the question that no one asked, but everyone was thinking. She kept her head up and showed them to a large room surrounded by medical equipment. 

Natasha zeroed in on the person in the bed. Her heart was beating faster than she could even remember. Laying on the bed, in front of Maria, who looked only at the man in guilt, was Nick Fury. Alive. 

"It's about damn time." He mumbled. "You all look like shit." 

*

Maria stood away from Natasha, evading her prominent anger. Steve had forced Natasha to sit so the doctor could work on her shoulder. The spy was so distracted by the fact that Nick was alive that she forgot she was even bleeding.

"Lacerated spinal column, a cracked sternum, shattered collarbone, perforated liver, one hell of a headache," He listed off everything that was wrong with him, not missing his sarcastic tone. 

"Don't forget your collapsed lung," The doctor added while he put pressure on Natasha's shoulder. Natasha looked down at the floor, her face blank, confused, and vulnerable. 

"Let's not forget that," Nick quipped. "Otherwise I'm good." 

"They cut you open, your heart stopped," Natasha said, her voice was cracked, sounded tired. She could barely stand to look at the man. Hell, she couldn't even look at her girlfriend, who had been apart of this since the beginning. 

"Tetrodexoin B.Slows the pulse to one beat a minute. Banner developed it for stress. Didn't work so great for him, but we found a use for it." 

"Why all the secrecy?" Steve asked, his voice in comparison was angry, strong, and pointed. "Why not just tell us." 

"Any attempt on the director's life had to look successful," Maria told him, she wanted Natasha to hear her. It was apart of the job and had nothing to do with them. 

"Can't kill ya if you're already dead," Nick let out. "Besides I wasn't sure who to trust." That broke Natasha. That right there. After all the years she's worked for Nick and Maria neither of them trusted her. They still kept her at bay. Always had, always will. She bet if she called Barton he would have known about this. Of course, he would have, he's Nick's little prodigy. All she ever was and apparently will always be was that Russian traitor spy that Clint brought back. 

She may be dating Maria and may have for the past six months, but the deputy chief will never trust her. Sometimes it seems as if Maria doesn't even trust her. Hell, she still confirms each one of her missions, even if it's an avengers mission as if she's a child as if she's going someone secretively. 

*

Everyone sat around a table, Steve stood behind Natasha finding it hard to sit down and even think. Nick was holding a picture of Alexander Pierce, anger and annoyance were in his eye. 
"This man declined a noble peace prize. He said 'Peace wasn't an achievement, it was a responsibility'" He looked over at Natasha. "See it's stuff like this that gives me trust issues." 

"We have to stop the launch." Natasha pointed out. She wasn't about to get into Nick's trust issues. She looked over at Steve. At least someone trusted her. 

"I don't think the council's accepting my calls anymore." He opened a briefcase of two computer chips. 

"What's that?" 

"Once the Helicarriers reach 3,000 feet, they'll triangulate with Insight satellites becoming fully weaponized." 

"We need to breach those carriers, and replace their targeting blades with our own." 

"One or two won't cut it," Hill added in. "We need to link all three carriers for this to work." She ignored the glare she was receiving from Natasha. "Because if even one of those ships remains operational, a whole lot of people are going to die." 

"We have to assume everyone aboard those carriers is Hydra." Steve watched Nick carefully, and intensely. He wanted nothing more than to yell out in anger, or punch something but that would help no one. "We have to get past them, insert these server blades, and maybe just maybe we can salvage what's left-" 

"We're not salvaging anything." Steve interrupted. "We're not just taking down the carriers Nick, we're taking down S.H.I.E.L.D."

"S.H.I.E.L.D. had nothing to do with this." Nick pointed out. 

"You gave me this mission." Steve shot back. "This is how it ends. S.H.I.E.L.D.'s been compromised. You said it yourself. Hydra grew right under your nose and no one noticed."

"Why do you think we're meeting in this cave? I noticed." He let out. 

"How many paid the price before you did." Steve had hatred in his voice. 

"Look i didn't know about Barnes." He looked down at the table. 

"Even if you had, would you have told me?" Steve asked. Natasha highly doubted he would. "Or would you have compartmentalized that too? S.H.I.E.L.D. HYDRA, it all goes." Maria studied Natasha's face for a moment, she showed no emotion in the matter. Maria thought that Natasha would be keener to keeping S.H.I.E.L.D. up, it was her home. 

"He's right." Maria sided with Nick. S.H.I.E.L.D was her home as well,  her entire life, but even she knew it was corrupt. She gave Nick a nod, but Nick was in too much shock to take her word for it, he looked over at Natasha who would surely be on his side. 

Natasha simply leaned back in the chair sending a glare at Nick. She wasn't going to agree with him, maybe she wouldn't ever again. Nick took a chance to look at the new guy, Sam. 
"Don't look at me." He said immediately. "I do what he does just slower." 

Nick let out a small laugh. He'd been outvoted. "Well..." He looked at Maria again who was itching to see his response. He sighed knowing it was the end of an era. "It looks like you're giving the orders now, Captain." Natasha looked at Steve who looked almost shocked that Nick was agreeing, if she was being honest, she was shocked as well. But then again you can't really do much when you only trust one person. 

"Okay, let's go over the plan." 

*

The outfit that Natasha had for her undercover portion of the mission was not as convincing as she would have liked. But you can't really get much when you are wanted by every government agency. 

She looked over the blueprints for the Helicarriers, going over the mission once again in her head, even though everyone knew she didn't need that. She heard Nick walking up to her about five minutes ago. He was moving rather slow these days. 

"Didn't think you could make it up the stairs." Natasha let out, as he huffed a groan. Nick watched Natasha carefully. 

"It wasn't pretty." He laughed. He waited for Natasha to speak but she didn't, keeping her focus on the computer. She half wished he never made it up the stairs. "Here you go." He said handing her the chip that would complete her disguise. "Hill just calibrated it." Hill...the only one he trusts. Visa versa. 

"Thanks." She said and put them down harshly on the table before standing up. Nick watched as the spy looked deeply into his eyes. Sadness rushed from her face. "I thought you were dead Nick." 

"I had to keep the circle small." He said sadly. "You would have done the same." 

"I know." She said immediately. "That's the problem." She tried hard to keep her emotion under wraps. She had to walk away before she showed him a side of her that she didn't believe he needed to see. Not anymore. 

She left him and saw Hill standing by the stairs staring down at her. 
"What come to spy on me? Make sure I didn't kill your bestie over there?" She let out harshly. "Well guess what I don't do that anymore." 

"That's not why I came over here," Maria said sadly. 

"Than why are you here?" 

"To check up on my girlfriend? To make sure she is okay because-" 

"I don't need you to babysit my hill. I am fine." 

"Don't do that," Maria said a little too harshly. She wasn't going to let Natasha shut her out after all she did to tear down those walls. 

"Why not? You did that to me. You shut me out. You made me believe that Nick was dead. Do you know how hard that was to watch? Do you understand what that did to me!" She said, her voice wasn't screaming, but it wasn't exactly quiet either. 

"I get you're angry." Maria sighed. "But you have to understand the mission-" 

"You both thought I could be Hydra." 

"No-" 

"Yes, you did. Because you never reached out once we knew Hydra was in S.H.I.E.L.D. Not once." Maria looked down. "There was fear that I was Hydra." She almost laughed, Natasha really wanted to laugh. 

"S.H.I.E.L.D. is your home, Nat!" 

"S.H.I.E.L.D. was never my home. If you truly believe that, then maybe you don't know me as well as I had hoped." She gave her once the last look over before going downstairs. Maria closed her eyes in frustration. Fuck Hydra.

*

"I thought I'd do you the courtesy of telling you that I am leaving," Natasha stood before Maria and Nick. They had retrieved and taken Steve to the hospital and she was preparing to go talk to Captial Hill. 

"Where to this time Romanoff? Rome? Greece? Or are you staying in the united states this time? Let me guess California?" Nick teased her. He didn't think she was serious, then again it was hard to tell with Natasha. 

"Russia." She answered automatically. Maria frowned in confusion. 

"You haven't been to Russia since you joined S.H.I.E.L.D." Hill pointed out. 

"I blew all my covers. I have to make some new ones." 

"I have known you for a long time Romanoff, and in all that time I've seen you grow," Natasha didn't know what Nick was getting at her. If he thought some sweet sentimental speech was going to win her over he was wrong. "You know what you have to do, you know your own limits. You aren't that scared little girl that Barton brought back to us. I trust that you will do what's best." And with that, he walked away. "Hill?" 

"In a minute," She told the former director. He nodded and left the room. "When are you coming back?" She asked. 

"Does it matter?" Natasha mumbled. 

"It matters to me." 

"Does it?" Natasha shot back. Maria frowned and she felt her heart clench in pain.

"You know it does. I know you are upset, but deep down you know that I-" 

"I don't know anything about you anymore." Natasha gave her one last look over and then started to walk away. Maria watched her leave with an open mouth. How could her entire world have fallen apart in less than a week? 

*

It's been a few months since Maria has seen Natasha. She has tried to reach out to the redhead, but it didn't matter as she was avoiding all of her messages. She was now apart of Stark's company, meaning she was helping out the Avengers who are seeming back together. 

Natasha was in the tower but has been avoiding her, and being the super spy that she is, it's been successful. Maria didn't know what to do, what to say to her, she didn't even know if they were even together anymore. It wasn't like Maria had gone out or had been with anyone else. 

Tonight would hopefully clear all of this up. They had retrieved Loki's scepter a few nights ago and that called for a party, according to Stark. Maria only agreed to come because Natasha would be there, and the free alochal. Which she would need if Natasha was going to run away from her all night. 

Minding herself in conversation with Thor and Tony who compared how amazing their girlfriends were, Maria, being tempted to butt in but was enjoying how this was going. She spotted Natasha from the corner of her eye pouring herself a drink, Banner walking toward her. Maria quickly excused herself to walk over there. Bruce's voice filling her ears as she closed in. 

"How does a nice girl like you wind up working in a dump like this?" He asked, Maria had the urge to roll her eyes. 

"Fella did me wrong," Natasha's enchanting voice responded. 

"Got lousy taste in men-" 

"It's women actually," Maria finally let out when she reached them. "Get lost bruce I need to talk to my girlfriend." 

"Oh um I didn't know..." Bruce started mumbling out. Natasha gave him an apologetic, yet signature smirk before he left. Natasha didn't bother looking at Maria as she worked on her drink. 

"You're ruining my night." 

"Well excuse me for wanting to talk to my girlfriend after she spent months avoiding me." Maria looked at Natasha who was still focused on her drink. "Are you gonna speak to me or do I need to become a man with anger issues for you to look at me," 

She finally looked up at her. Her bright green eyes void of any and all emotion that she held for Maria at the moment. Natasha didn't say anything though, just looked at her. As if reading her soul. 

"Are you even my girlfriend anymore?" She asked. "I get that I messed up Nat, but I really really want to make it right. I want to be able to kiss you when I want Nat, I want to be able to pull you out and dance with you right now." 

"I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me." 

"I trust you. God Nat you know I do!" She sighed. "You know that I am not the best at relationships, and neither are you for that matter! But we've been figuring it out. I made a simple mistake and it wasn't because I didn't trust you. I was so freaking in love with you I didn't want to even allow the idea that you weren't on my side to be a possibility. Not knowing seemed better than knowing and that's the damn truth." 

Natasha watched her carefully and softly. She didn't even know how she felt about the Burnette, completely. Did she love her? She didn't know. She never knew even before this mess started. She didn't know what love meant.  Did she still have an intense feeling for Maria? Yes. Did she want to give her up? No. 

She took the drink in her hand before drinking it all. Maria watched intensely. Waiting for even a few words from her. 

"Wanna dance?" Natasha asked placing the drink down on the counter. 

"What?" 

"Dance Maria. Do you want to?" She began walking out of the bar. Maria nodded and carefully walked over to her as if prepared to be walking into a trap. Natasha held her hand out and Maria took it. God she missed having her hand in her own. 

Natasha pulled her over to the dance floor that Tony set up Natasha wrapped her arms around the brunette's neck and Maria hand's were on Natasha's waist. Natasha leaned her head on her shoulder. 
"You're lucky you're adorable," Natasha muttered. 

"I have been called a lot of things, adorable is not one of those things," Maria said. 

"I am the only one allowed to call you that." She said in response. "Have you been with anyone else?" 

"It's only ever been you nat." She said softly. "Have you?" 

"No. Only you." 

"Good. I hope Banner steps away I'd hate to punch him in the face." 

"You're cute when you're all jealous hill," Natasha said. 

"Why are you making me sound all soft? I am not soft." 

"You just poured your heart out to me, I have the right to call you soft." 

"You're bad for my rep." Maria laughed. 

"Please if anything I make you more badass." Natasha looked up giving her a smirk. "You are one luckily woman Agent Hill." 

"Damn right," Maria, after months of being apart, finally connected their lips together, both releasing a sigh of relief that their problems have been settled even a little bit. For now, everything was just perfect. How shitty can it possibly get any time soon? 

Okay so this was gonna end sadly but I have recently developed a crush...on a straight girl... so I needed someone to have a nice girlfriend life and you best believe it's gonna be Maria and nat. Whom I've recently come obsessed with. Let me know what you think of this one! 

XO Sierrea.