Collab with captasha_luv

For Steve Rogers nothing felt the same after he returned to the past to be with Peggy. He loved Peggy but not in the way he used to do years before. Through the years his feelings had changed. He was actually supposed to be happy to be back with the love of this life , or at least that's what he thought but he can't help but feel a certain emptiness in his heart, and even when he clearly knew what the reason was he chose to ignore it cause he knew that nothing is going to bring her back. He lost his chance with her.

He went to Vormir with high hopes of getting her back in exchange for the stone. But his hopes were turned down when things didn't go as he planned and he knew that he had lost her forever. He felt heartbroken that he didn't even get the chance to say how much he loved her and now she has gone away from him forever.

So he thought going back to Peggy would be the best idea. He thought maybe he can get that life that Tony was asking him to get all the time. He lost his chance with Nat but he still has a chance to be with Peggy. He thought maybe going back will help him reduce the pain of losing the woman he loved all the years after waking up from the ice, cause living in the present without her by his side is the worst pain he had ever felt. Everything in the present reminds him of her and pain is just unbearable. He knew he would be disappointing all his friends but he didn't want to live in a timeline without her.

At first, he was very happy to have got Peggy back. She always kept him distracted from the memories of his life that he had in the present, but even then he can't keep her memories out of his head and he can't help but think of what it would have been if she was still alive, and he had not returned to his past, maybe they would have been together now. But he felt thinking about it now was absurd. He can't change what has happened.  But as the months passed by he started to feel more and more guilty. He started to feel like a coward for running from his reality. He felt guilty that he left behind all his friends, he changed the life Peggy actually had. What he now felt for Peggy was only respect and admiration for the woman who first showed him what love was.

He should have stayed in the present cause he no longer belonged here. He should have stayed with his friends. He left the timeline where the woman he loved sacrificed herself so that people could leave safely, he left it unprotected. He should have stayed there to make sure that her legacy would be continued, but he didn't, he ran away .

He knew he was not being fair to Peggy but staying here. He no longer loved her the same. He already felt like a selfish man for having stolen her original life. He wanted to go back and fix the things that he had broken. So when he confronted Peggy about the situation she agreed cause she knew that it was the right thing to do. He needed to go back to his original timeline. So there he was preparing to leave with his quantum suit on . "I am sorry Peggy, you don't deserve this and I am so sorry to do this to you."

"It's okay Steve, this is for the better. You no longer belong here, Steve. You need to go back and fix the things in your timeline. I will be fine. Don't worry about me. Maybe I will meet that man who you said I was actually with after this " Peggy said with a smile.

They hugged for the one last time. "I will miss you, Steve ".

" Me too. Take care, Peggy."

He took his shield and punched the coordinates for his timeline.

Steve's POV

When I reached the present I felt some kind of relief rush through me. But then I noticed that everything was so different from the time that I had left. The avengers compound looked so different.

I started to walk towards the entrance of the building . Every step felt so heavy like I had a huge rock tied to my feet. I can probably feel my heart racing with every step I am taking towards the entrance and I have no idea why I am getting this strange feeling. I don't know how they are going to react but I won't be surprised if they are mad at me for leaving, in fact they had every right to feel that way. He knows it has been a few months but for them, it has only been a few days since he left. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice that someone was behind me.

I was thrown out of my thoughts by a gunshot. " Who are you, surrender now" I heard a voice behind me and as I turned I saw a few young people, probably teenagers, not more than 19 already ready with their weapons ready to fight me. I had no idea who they were. But somewhere they seem familiar too. 'Did I punch in the wrong coordinates, I am in a different timeline now, God did I really mess this up' as I was thinking of a way out of this , one of them shot straight at me and I was just able to block it out with my shield. But as I lowered my shield I saw of them, who probably seemed to be their leader walking towards me.

As he came closer I was able to get a better view of him and I don't know why my heart was beating so loud at his sight. Seeing his fiery red hair I cannot help but think about Natasha. As he was approaching me I could clearly see his expression changing to one of shock. I don't know why he was getting shocked to see me. 'Did he know me?' I thought, but I am seeing him for the first time. He was now standing right in front of me and  I could clearly see his face. I felt I am looking at my own self when I was young, the only difference was his red hair. His blue eyes were the same as mine and my head was spinning at this point. "Was he my.., no how can that be possible." But the next word that came out of his mouth really caught me off guard

"Dad"

He said with a tint a shock and disbelief in his words.

'Dad', did I just hear him correctly, am I dreaming, why is he calling me 'Dad." When did I have a son? All of this was so hard to process and I could barely keep my balance.

"Steve", I heard a voice so familiar to me calling my name.

I turned around and saw Bucky who was already coming towards me. " Steve is that really you " he just came and hugged me tightly, I couldn't even take my eyes off the boy but I still hugged him back. " I missed you so much Steve in these past years. I thought you were never going to return. We all missed you so much especially... "

  I suddenly cut him off "Years, What year is it now", I asked clearly confused.

" It's 2041, why what happened ?"

"What 2041?!!". That when I realised I punched in the wrong coordinates and that I came so forward in the future.

  "Dad is this really uncle Steve, " a girl asked Bucky.

"Yes he is".

"Steve, this is my daughter, Willa "

"You have a daughter, " I asked, surprised.

" Yes, actually Wanda and I got together after you left," he said.

.

" I am so happy for you Bucky. I guess I have missed a lot ".

" You bet."

" Uncle Steve, you must remember me" Now it was another girl among them. Her look and smile that resembled too much like Tony was enough for me to identify that she was Morgan.

"Morgan"

"Yes, I knew that you will recognize me" She hugged me and I hugged her back.

" You have grown up a lot" he said, remembering the last time he saw her and she was just a young girl barely five.

"Yes of course , I have . I missed you a lot and Dad was so pissed at you for leaving "

"I am sorry, now that I am here, I will try to make up for the lost years ".

One by one all the kids started to talk to me but the boy didn't even move from where he stood. He just stood there and watched me. I could see his eyes welling up with tears and as I was going to approach him I heard someone calling my name, that voice I haven't heard in months, that voice I missed so much , that I have been longing to hear for the past few months , that I thought I would never hear again in my life.

My heart started to beat louder than before. My head was throbbing. As I turned I just got frozen at my spot. All the air was knocked out of me. I can't even believe my eyes. The woman I loved, the love of my life, the one I thought I will never see again in my life was standing right in front of me.

"Nat, how.. " I was barely able to say anything from the shock. She just ran towards me and held me in a bone-crushing hug.

"Steve," she said, her voice cracking. And I could feel that she was crying.

" Nat , how? I thought I lost you forever"

"I don't know how Steve when you returned the stone it brought me back, but by the time I was back, you had already left. I thought I was never going to see you again. I really missed you Steve " she said , with tears still rolling down her cheeks.

"  Nat, I am so sorry. If I knew you were going to be back I would have never left. I would have never left you alone. I couldn't stay here knowing that you won't be there by my side. The guilt that I couldn't save you was eating me up and I was so devastated that I couldn't even tell you how I felt for you. So I thought going to the past was the best. I was not able to stay cause my heart still belongs to you. I can't stop thinking about you. So I thought it would be better to return back. But never thought I am going to see you here. ". That was when I realized that I was crying too.

" I don't blame you for what you did Steve. I can understand why you went back.."

I cut her off with a kiss. I couldn't wait any longer. I have missed her so much. She kissed me back with the same passion. It felt so good to feel her lips on mine after many years.

"I love you Nat, I don't wanna wait for another time, I have waited so long to tell you this. I regretted not being able to tell you this before you left. But I don't wanna wait any longer. I love you Nat. You are the love of my life. I know it took a lot of time for me to realize this...."

This time she was the one to cut me off with a kiss. "I love you too Steve and I know I too have waited a lot of time to tell you this. I love you so much Steve".

"Mom" we both were brought back to reality when we heard that. Natasha quickly turned to the boy.

'Mom, Natasha is his mom'. I looked at her and the look in her eyes was more than enough for me to confirm that he is my son.

I looked her in the eye and she knew I was searching for an explanation.

"Steve, I found out I was pregnant before the war in Wakanda. But I thought it was not the perfect time to tell you about it. But I lost him after the snap. You were already mourning for your friends and I didn't want to break you more by telling you that you lost your son too. But when I came back from Vormir I found out that I was pregnant again. Maybe Bruce brought him back too when he snapped. But you were gone. We tried many ways to contact you but we couldn't. I am sorry Steve"

That was a lot of information to take in. I have a son. I am a father now. I had a son with Natasha and I missed the past 18 years of his life.

"His name is James, Steve and I knew you would have named him after Bucky "

I walked towards him. I felt something different from the first time I laid my eyes upon. And now I know for sure that he is my son . I just saw him now and I know I won't be able to live without him for the rest of my life.

"James "

"Dad," he said with tears spilling from his eyes. I hugged him with all the strength I can muster and he hugged me back. I was crying tears of joy.

"I am sorry James, I am really sorry that I have not been here for the last years of your life. I am sorry that I left you and your Mom alone James. I know I can't change what happened but I will try my level best to make it up to you for the years I was not here. I love you James"

"I thought I was never gonna see you Dad. Mom always used to talk about you every time. But I am so happy that you are back. I love you too Dad".

"Well I guess I have something for you," I told him and he looked at me questioningly. I pulled out my shield and held it towards him.

"Try it on". He looked at me surprised.

"Dad I don't really think ., I should, I mean you just met me and.." It was odd to hear someone call me dad, I wished I had been there since the beginning, but I wasn't, I would have to learn to accept that. I did know I was going to work tirelessly for the rest of my life making sure James was protected and happy and giving him the shield would help with that. It protected me throughout so many years of his life, it would do the same for my son.

"No James, I am sure. You have every right, you deserve this. There is no else I would like to pass it to. Try it on James" I gave him a reassuring smile. If he was anything like his mother, I was sure James would be able to get used to it in a matter of minutes.

He looked at Natasha as if seeking for her approval. She nodded her head and walked towards us. Natasha had a look of admiration on, it gave me the courage to keep talking because she believed in me. James looked down at the shield in awe. He took the shield and strapped it to his hands.

"How does it feel?"

"I don't know dad. It belongs to you.." He said not sure if he should be holding it, but I thought it was a perfect fit.

"No James it is yours, it belongs to you now," I reassured him. He hugged me and Nat,

"I will do my best Dad"

"We know you will" me and Nat said together while we shared a family hug.

Everything felt perfect at that moment. I had the love of my life and my son both in my arms. And I would never trade them for the rest of the world. Now I know coming back was the best decision. I don't know what life has got for us in-store, but I know I  will get through it as now I have my family with me.