Collab with   romanogerss1984

Her eyes fluttered open. Great, it was 4:30 in the morning and Steve and Natasha had to be up at 7:00. She tried to fall back asleep after the nightmare but it was futile. Her mind kept tracing back to the red room. She tried to shift In the bed. He felt something move in his arms. His eyes snapped open and he checked the alarm clock? "Nat why are you up"?

"I can't sleep." She responded as she pulled herself away from his embrace, sitting up against their bed frame.

"What's going on? You seem to have a lot on your mind." He spoke softly to her, it was one of the things Natasha loved about him, he never pushed but always cared.

"It's...nothing," She sighed and closed her eyes, still sitting upwards. Steve watched her for a second before sitting up as well and wrapping his arm around her.

"Okay, well even though it's nothing, know that I am here for you," Steve sat there holding her for about ten minutes, it was almost five by the time she started speaking once again.

"Do you ever think about what happened?" She asked. "With Thanos I mean, the battle." Steve didn't have to answer to her know he did. "It was only a few months ago, but it feels like a lifetime ago, so much has changed. I can't help but have it constantly running through my mind. But the thing is it doesn't haunt me."

"Well that's good right?" he asked.

"You would think," She nodded. "But I guess the events that occurred were just nothing compared to what happened to me when I was growing up. Sure we lost a lot of people and it was tragic it's just..." She didn't know how to explain it in a way that made sense.

"It's just when you have as many tragedies as we do, it tough to replace wounds that cut so deep." Steve ended up finishing her thought and she could. "I know what you mean. It would be different if we lost someone, but I have you, Tony has his family, Thor, Clint, and Bruce are all okay."

"I've been dreaming of the red room again," She admitted. "I umm I have been having nightmares."

"Why now?"

"I'd like to know the answer to that as well. I am guessing it happened when I... when I died. My life flashed before my eyes and brought back all of those memories." She started off at the wall in front of her.

"But I saved you." Steve said, "I traded the soul stone for your soul, why didn't that stop the memories."

"It stopped them from constantly playing in my mind but that didn't stop me from thinking about them." she sighed. "Steve, why don't you think of me as a monster?"

"Because you aren't. You listen to me, Natasha you are not a monster, you are a hero, you sacrificed yourself for millions of people, I don't care about your past, ok?"

"Fine" she responded

"And I love you" he whispered as he pulled her back into his arms and kissed her nose. "No matter what happens I am always going to be here right by your side. I'll be here to chase away your nightmares, to remind you of the wonderful person you have become."

"You seem to have a lot of hope in me Rogers." She said leaning her head onto his chest, bring instant warmth and safety.

"How can I not? You make me a better person,"

"How can I make Captain America a better person?" She questioned, her voice was barely audible at this point, she was slowly falling back to sleep.

"You don't make Captain America a better person, you make Steve Rogers a better person. I have flaws too Nat, I mean what kind of person volunteers to be experimented on?"

"See the difference is that you did that so you can help your country, so you can do what you do best."

"Maybe, but I also did it for the selfish part of me not wanting to be left behind or picked on anymore."

"Our experiences are just... different." She sighed.

"No matter, our future is connected and I will always be there for you." He kissed the top of her head. "Are you tired?" She only responded with a slight mumbled, Steve smiled. "Go ahead, I'll be here, I'll be here to protect you."

"I love you, Natasha."

"I love you more."