This One-Shot takes place after endgame, everyone survived because I am still in denial, yep. So yes Natasha was in the epic marvel woman shot. She's alive in my mind! FIGHT ME RUSSO BROTHERS.

Also not much Romanogers in this Chapter

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Her home had been burned to a crisp, there was nothing left. Natasha watched the smoke rise from what she called her home for the last five years.

"Nat," Steve said walking up to her with the rest of the original Avengers. This was the first time she was seeing them since the battle has begun. She somehow returned along with everyone else.

"I watched you die, Nat," Clint muttered moving to take her in his arms.

"Can't get rid of me so easily Barton," She smirked her smile flattered as quick as it came however, she was in no mood to celebrate, she had lost everything. Her voice didn't hold the same mocking tone as before, her short smile held no amusement more like a look of disbelief and snark.

"When you didn't come back," Tony sighed not knowing how to feel or what to say.

"It was rough." Bruce finished. Natasha pulled away, it was like something came over her, she had died. Yeah, and she had died when she still had so many things to say to everyone surrounding her.

"Now you care?" She almost wanted to laugh. "You say you care? How can any of you care" Being dead really shows you the truth and everything you're missing.

"We care about you Nat," Steve tried, sensing she was having a slight panic attack, the shock of being brought back to life was finally kicking in.

"No, you don't. You" Looking at Tony "don't even consider me your fucking family. We've known each other for about twenty fucking years Stark!" It was like she could see them when she died like she knew what they had talked about.

"Nat calm down, why don't you take a break-"

"Don't fucking tell me what to do Rogers." She yelled. "You all are fucking self-centered idiots."

"Wait what? Us self centered? What?" Tony asked baffled, Steve, giving him a look to calm down because Natasha was in pain.

"Yes, all of you!" She cried. "Oh, it hurt so bad!" She cried.

"Dying must not have been hard..." Thor spoke out softly but Natasha interrupted him with a laugh.

"I am not fucking talking about dying! I can't even remember it." She was breathing hard, no one had ever seen her like this before, Steve and Clint had each seen their share of smaller low key versions, but this, this was not anything like it.

"Just breathe and tell us what we did Nat, we can make it better-"

"Don't you understand? You can't make this better! YOU LEFT! YOU ALL LEFT!" it was finally out, the secret she had been hiding away since their Civil War. The split of the Avengers affected her more than she would have cared to admit, and one by one everyone started leaving when the events of Thanos first happened they were all together, and than one day she was all alone. "You left me behind like I was nothing like I didn't matter."

"We had to move on, start something new," Bruce said, "we couldn't hang on to the past."

"The thing is, the past to you was my present reality! I didn't have anywhere to go, I wasn't a billionaire with a money to spend anywhere, I wasn't a god who could go anywhere to hide away, I was a scientist, nor a family man or even Captain Fucking America who was charged for worse crimes than me and then just walk into public and everything would be fine! NO, I CAN'T DO THAT! PEOPLE WANT ME DEAD AND NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE."

"We didn't know..." Tony sighed.

"Of course you didn't because you were all focused on yourselves. Well, guess what! Other people were hurting, other people didn't have the same luxuries as you! We can't move on without our past coming back," Her breathing was high and Steve knew she was having a panic attack. "I waited, I waited so long," Tears burned down her face. "I thought you would come back but you never did! I waited and waited," They had a feeling she wasn't talking about them anymore. "Just like the room, you broke me, you broken me without me knowing, got me so god dependant on you, and for what? So you can break me in two?"

"You need to calm down,"

"I thought I had a family! I never had a family before, I never had anyone, you said we were a family, but you two," She looked at Tony and Steve, "Had your heads so far up your asses you cared more about getting your way than the people you hurt along the way, you were all I had! I didn't have anything else! I never did! I have always been alone. I will always be alone."

"Tasha," Clint said. "You are having a panic-"

"Seriously Clint?" Tony asked. "You never tell someone who's having a panic attack they are having a panic attack."

"I am pretty sure that's not true," Bruce said frustrated.

"You all aren't helping!" Thor said. "You are supposed to tell them it's quite obvious,"

"No, no you are-"

"You know what's not helping? This conversation." Steve said, turning to glare at the group.

"What do you know about this Cap!" Tony rolled his eyes.

"I know well enough that none of this is helping," Steve yelled back at him.

While the group broke out into a full argument Natasha's breathing increased and she held a hand right above her chest closing her eyes, no one in the group noticed. She did, however, catch the attention of Wanda Sam and Bucky who raced over to her.

"Nat?" Sam asked wrapping an arm around her to hold her up, as Bucky took to holding her face.

"Natalia breathe, look at us,"

"They are going to hurt me...used... they used... always hurt me... messed up." She was talking in broken sentences.

"She's talking about the red room," Bucky clarified, "Them arguing is bringing back bad memories."

"How do you know that?" Sam asked.

"Because he was there," Wanda answered quickly, "Nat hang on, I am going to take those memories out your mind." Natasha's eyes were shut but her breathing was high and fast. Wanda carefully began using magic, replacing her nightmares with memories of peaceful times.

Soon her breathing slowed, and slowly sluggish thoughts filled her mind, causing her to drift off into a nice slumber. By now all had subsided and Sam held Natasha in his arms, she was badly cut all over her body.
"That was probably what triggered her, most girls relapsed whenever they were hurt badly," Bucky said.

"Hey!" Sam yelled to the group who was still arguing. "If you are done sticking your heads up your ass why don't you go take her to the fucking hospital. She needs help."

"Here let me take her," Steve said reaching out for her.

"No," Bucky said. "Whatever the hell is going on here between you five you need to work out."

"She died." Wanda pointed out. "She isn't going to be the same girl we all knew, she hit her head, reversed or not, it will do something to her. I can't keep my magic on her forever, and you all need to fix yourselves back up" With that Sam and the other took Natasha to the hospital to fix Natasha up.

"what the hell is wrong with us? Personally, I thought the hatch was you know buried when we first met up." Tony sighed.

"We're just so fucking screwed up we put so many people in trouble, we put on our own teammate's life on the line because we can't see one another eye to eye," Clint said slightly kicking a rock with his foot.

"How can we be a team if can't even trust one another to take care of each other?" Thor asked.

"Maybe we shouldn't be a team," Tony said.

"What? What are you on Stark." Clint asked rolling his eyes.

"Hear me out, we haven't been the Avengers in almost ten years, and after the whole shit with Thanos, we had no other threats, no one threatened to take us down, maybe we are the problem,"

"So what are you saying Stark? We quite? Leave Earth unattended?" Steve asked.

"What I am saying is maybe we let other people take over, Sam, Bucky, Rhodes, Wanda, Danvers, and Peter, they all have potential, and they can work together. You saw how Sam and they completely fixed things while we sat there arguing."

"Danvers would make a great leader, she knows how to get things done," Steve said. "Before we start making any life-changing decisions, is this something we all want? Something Natasha would want?"

"Tasha has spent her life fighting, I think it's time for her to get a life, not have to look over her shoulder every five minutes," Clint said. "She's been through a lot, allowing her to continue, well that's a sign up for death."

"So it's settled then? It's time for us to retire?" Bruce asked.

"It's not like we haven't been sitting on our asses for years now," Tony laughed.

"Aye, and I know the perfect person to rule Asgard as I take part on what you Midgaurdians call... retirement, where do I find the tire?" The group let out a chuckle.

"We are assholes you know? She comes back alive and the first thing we do is send her into battle, she needs rest," Steve sighed. "Do you think they will let us see her now?"

"I hope," Tony said. "We need to make some major amends."

|~~|

They had met up with everyone at the hospital where Doctor Cho was talking to Natasha, who had woken up feeling calmer than before.
"What is the last thing you remember?"

"Leaving for the time heist, I don't remember anything after that... I know I died. I felt it." She was having trouble explaining her feelings. "You think I am going crazy."

"No, you've been through a lot but I don't think you're crazy." she smiled. "Besides, from the things I've seen, nothing is completely crazy."

"I keep seeing myself... I know I am not making sense, but when I close my eyes I see myself,"

"I am no therapist Natasha, I can't tell you what this means but I do know it's going to take a long time for everything to get back to normal," She looked away from the redhead and smiled. "I think you have visitors. I'll leave you all alone."

Natasha eyed them carefully as they filled the room, she forgot how big they all were, they could barely fit in the small room.
"How are you feeling?" Steve was the first to ask.

"Okay, I guess. Look I am sorry," Natasha looked down and closed her eyes. "I am not sure what came over me, why I yelled, it's like I blacked out-"

"You don't need to apologize Tasha." Clint butted in. "Seriously, it's us who need to apologize, we were complete idiots."

"We were complete jerks." Tony laughed causing Natasha to smile. "We did miss you red, it's not the same if you aren't around if we are being honest."

"Wow Stark that's the closest I have heard to saying you love someone," Clint laughed, the entire group laughed as well, but there was still something she needed to get off her chest.

"I was hurt." She started. "You all were getting these lives, moving on..." She looked at Clint, "Changing, you were all doing something. I was stuck doing the same thing, I couldn't move on."

"We were all morning Nat," Steve said. "Thor world was turned upside down, Clint lost his family."

"Yeah but you see you all had other people," She frowned. "Some of you never even came to see, I spent most of these years thinking you were dead Clint! I watched Thor and Tony leave with other people;le they cared about, Bruce you made a new life for yourself like we never mattered, Steve I watched you walk away from me."

"We never wanted to hurt you, Tasha."

"It was stupid of me to be hurt." She said. "Yeah I was in pain but so were all of us, I was mad that I was alone again, that I was lost again. I didn't want to feel that pain of being left behind. I've had a lifetime of feeling that."

"Listen to us," Tony said. "We may have moved on, started something new, but we will never forget about you, Nat. If you need someone we will always be here, no matter what."

"What if you aren't? What if I need you guys and no ones there," She sighed. "You five are all I have."

"That's not true, so many people care about you," Steve started. "Sam Buck and Wanda were so concerned about you, Carol was there for you those five years, and Rhodes, there is no shortage of people who care about you."

"He's right," Thor said. "We care about you, even we are idiots and don't show it."

"I'm sorry I was so mad but dying ... it does something to you. Doctor Cho said my mind might not ever be the same. Nick is pulling me from missions, him and Maria are on there a way to yell at me."

"That's his way of showing he cares." Clint smiled. "See we all care, this isn't the same thing you went through Nat, you have people who love you forever and always."

"As long as you don't go jump off any other clifts," Tony said causing the group to laugh.

They were a group of misfits and outsiders. To others, the group's friendship is messy and doesn't make any sense but to each other, it was exactly what they needed. So what if they have didn't view? They all manage to take a step back and review their friendship.

They were broken in many different ways, but together they all made sense because together they understood one another no one else would.

They were the perfect example of an imperfect, yet perfect friendship.

I am going to start writing one-shots that aren't completely Romanogers, there will still be Romanogers in each story but other ships, I already have one request in so if you all have a ship you'd like me to do comment down below!