~Jesse's POV~

Hhnnnn sorry for all the point-of-view switches, I just wasn't sure how else to tell all this :T

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My 'some time' ended up being three days of solitude, curled up on my bed and wishing I didn't exist.

I wasn't supposed to be alive. That was supposed to have been my ending, bleeding out on the floor of the treasure hall. That's how I wanted to go.

Joss had exploded. Jenni had been shot. Jandro had fallen to his death. Justin had been torn apart by monsters. Jaq had watched her own life flow out onto the ground.

But I was the one who had to live with the memories. 

It took a while for the tears to come, but when they did, they took even longer to fade. The fear and adrenaline that had kept me going through the whole mess was gone, leaving me with a ragged hole of negative emotions. I'd kept telling myself to hold on, to not let the grief overwhelm me, to push it back until it was all over.

Well, now it was all over, and I was a wreck. 

As I ran through what I had known about the other Shards, I realized how much I didn't know. They'd all had their own lives, their own goals, their own friends, their own futures that had been ripped out from under them.

What gives me the right to live when they don't?

What advantage do I have in this stupid game of life?

What claim do I have on surviving?

My thoughts continued like that for a while, spiraling down into melancholy oblivion. Dying in those trials had no meaning. Even if I died here, in my own room, by my sword, it still wouldn't mean anything.

My battered, bloodstained armour had been piled in a careless heap on the floor. My usual t-shirt and overalls felt simple and familiar, but it wasn't comforting.

I was home, I was safe, my body was healing. I'd won.

Who knew that success could resonate so deeply with loss.

I sat by the window, looking down at Beacontown, my eyes drawn to the large likeness of the amulet in front of our headquarters. The sun glinted brightly off the stained glass, sending prisms of coloured light every which way.

It was beautiful. It was meaningless.

Kind of like life after a disaster.

I let my mind wander, considering what might've happened if I hadn't been the one to win. What if it'd been me who had been bitten by the snake, transformed into a monster? What if I'd been standing closest to the skeleton in the maze? What if Justin hadn't been able to catch me when I fell into the lava? What if we'd never talked to Herobrine, never known the extra secrets about the swords? What if I'd plainly refused to leave with the other Shards, at the very beginning of this whole mess? What if Jaq had taken Justin's sword instead, and 303 hadn't killed her right-out? What if she'd ended back up here with me? What if, that night when Entity 303 had brought us back to the little cabin, we'd fought him then and there? What if he'd killed us all? What if we'd won, and all found ways to go home?

Thinking of ways it could've ended happily for more of us hurt almost more than reality. I couldn't stop thinking of ways how it could've been one of the others with their lives back in full swing and the final Aristan sword in their hands. 

It was thinking of the white sword that finally stirred me into motion again, started to bring me out of my haze of dark spiraling thoughts. It was probably still on the floor of the treasure hall, since I was still alive and no one else could take it.

Standing upright and walking out of my room was difficult. The wound in my side was healing, but my entire body was stiff and sore. Nonetheless, I made my way downstairs and into the treasure hall.

The rest of the Order was already there, falling silent as soon as I stepped inside. I knew I probably still looked like living hell, but I didn't care at the moment.

"I..." My voice started out hoarse and weak, and I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry for freaking you all out when I came back. And...for pushing you away. I just...wasn't ready, and I don't know if I still am, but I'll...I'll try."

Petra stepped forward and hugged me gently, cautiously. "I will forgive you once you tell us what the hell happened." she announced. I forced a small smile, returning the embrace. "Okay. Might as well."

I disentangled myself from her and grasped the white sword still on the ground. I looked over at Olivia, who turned her head as soon as I glanced her way. Guilt flooded through me as I remembered how I'd sent her away, right after she'd saved my life.

I tucked the sword into my inventory. "I should start at the beginning. Well, first, I forgot to ask...how long was I gone?"

"Three weeks." Petra said without hesitation. I shook my head slowly. "It somehow feels like I was gone way longer, and not nearly as long."

"What happened? Where did you go? How did...was it those strangers who hurt you?" Axel burst out. I shook my head again. "No, they didn't. They would never...no."

I took in a deep breath, and started the story from where I'd left, explaining the portal, getting to know the other Shards, meeting Entity 303, learning about the swords, going through the maze, the swamp, the memories...everything. It took hours to tell it all, reliving the nightmare from the beginning. Lukas spent the entire time scribbling things down in a notebook and asking questions when I wasn't clear enough, so I went over every detail, all I remembered of the trials and chaos and resulting deaths.

My friends all seemed rather horrified when I finished, which I guess I should've expected. 

"This...you know, this basically just rewrites a lot of the things we know, about legends, and dimensions, and just...possibilities." Olivia mused.

"I know. Kinda freaky. No, wait, really freaky." Petra added.

"Is there...do you think there's more Shards out there?" Lukas asked. I shrugged halfheartedly. "Probably. 303 said there had been some before us, so there could be more in the future. I don't...I don't really care. Being a Shard never affected me before. I think...honestly, I think I'd like to just forget about it all." Not that I can, I thought.

Lukas tapped the end of his quill against his chin. "I wonder where that sword came from. Aristan, I mean. I wonder where it was. Maybe I can find some legends or histories on it. If it was really a magic city, you'd think there'd be something."

Petra gave him a complicated sort of look. "I don't know. This kinda sounds like something you might want to leave in the past. And wait, remind me why you're not dust?" she asked, pointing to me.

I hesitated. "Because I'm a Shard, and the Aristan swords are somehow linked to us. Were. Was. I'm...not sure if I can still be considered a Shard, since...all the others are gone." We all lapsed into silence for a few moments, before Axel said,

"I still don't like the idea of monsters of legend existing out there. It's one thing to find out that they're real, and yet another to learn they're still alive. Did we get firm proof that Entity 303's really dead?"

"She said he turned to dust." Olivia pointed out.

Axel wagged a finger at her. "Yeah, but what if that was a trick? What if he decided to let Jesse escape, and he's actually still alive in there?"

"What would be the point of that, Axel?" Lukas asked.

"I don't know! What was the point of anything that happened?" Axel countered.

"He wanted to escape. Han thought that the whole point was for him to get the final sword, and use it to get out of the Farlands." I reminded them quietly, standing up from where I'd been sitting. "I think he's really gone. I doubt he would've just let me go if he wasn't." 

Petra gave me a long look. "What are you going to do now?"

"Rest. Recover. Start going back to my life. Try to forget." I turned to leave the treasure hall. I wasn't sure where I was going, but it didn't matter to me at the moment.

"Do you think it's fair for you to forget?" Olivia asked. I glanced back to give her a quizzical look. "What?"

"You're the only one who knows what really happened there. I mean, now you told us, but you're the only one to actually experience it. Don't you think you should honor their memory by keeping the memories?"

I stood still for a few moments, turning her words over in my head. Not knowing how to respond, I simply shrugged and walked out. As I left, I heard Petra murmur, "She's different. She never should've left." 

I went back up to my room, perched next to the window looking out over the town again. Watching without seeing.

Disasters change people. That much was evident when the Witherstorm struck; the entire world changed, in more ways than one. But as far as everything else was concerned, this had only happened to me. This disaster was mine to live with, whether I wanted to or not.

Try to forget, I'd said. I already knew I wasn't going to, not for a long time. Closing my eyes and leaning back, I tried to silence my mind, think of nothing. My own breaths filled my ears, making my sore body ache slightly as I breathed in and out. Each inhale and exhale seemed to rattle the pieces inside me, shaking the mirror fragments that made up my soul.

I smiled ruefully at the thought of that metaphor. If 303 was to be believed, my soul wasn't shattered anymore, despite how it might feel.

Thinking back to what Entity 303 had said when we first met him, I decided I'd never felt shattered. The other Shards hadn't seemed broken, either. Well, maybe some of them had been a little dysfunctional, but they weren't just pieces of a person. Before this whole thing had come crashing into our lives, we'd all been some semblance of okay.

Now I just had to find a way to be alright again. 

For some reason, Jandro's words came back to me, from that peaceful night of us sitting on the steps of the cabin.
"It'll all be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

Sometimes that's true. Sometimes things end well, with smiles and courage and a feeling of success. These are the ends that become legends, that are retold time and time again, in tones of awe and triumph. The ends you remember.

But sometimes things end, simply because they have nowhere else to go.

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Word count- 1735 (I know I know still short shaddup)