In light of all that's happened this week with SCOTUS and the threat of religious fascism taking over America, I was reminded of a disturbing story I was told at my Christian school. This story, even at the time, didn't sit well with me but I didn't understand why. It bothered me. I just couldn't get it out of my head.

The story was told to us by our Bible teacher, a woman whose name was Ms. Keller I think, who was an overly pious, sickly sweet, bigoted hypocrite of the worst kind. The kind who you can't even debate or criticize because they'll just smugly recite scripture at you. The kind that professes to love you as they rail against literally everything that makes you a person. The kind that loves the "sinner" but hates your "sin." That kind.

Keller was speaking to our class of girls about how to remain "pure." (I say that word with quotations because the concept of purity in Christian culture is so disgusting I refuse to imply that its ideology is even remotely related to the dictionary's definition of the word pure). Note that when I say "pure" going forward I am referring to the Christian idea independent of the word's actual definition.

Christian Purity is a concept that tells you to remain a virgin until marriage. Not just a virgin though. A no-making-out, no-masturbating, no lusting type of virgin. As you can imagine, telling teenagers (male or female) to completely shut down all sexual thoughts/urges leads to nothing but a seriously guilt-ridden adolescence built on a foundation of lies, at best. At worst, you not only weren't able to conquer this Herculean task of going through puberty without thinking about sex or acting on sexual impulses in any way, but people found out about it too. Now you are no longer "pure." (And let me just say, not ONE of these people involved in purity culture adhere to remaining pure based on their own definition. It is physically impossible. At the very least, everyone thinks about sex and the vast majority of people also masturbate regularly. Therefore it is safe to assume there has never been one actual "pure" person in all of Christianity's history, but they will preach this shit until they are blue in the face (or more likely blue in the balls)). But I digress.

Now when people find out you're no longer pure, here's how it goes: if you're a guy, it's honestly not really a big deal. The "sin" is treated the same as telling a lie. A kind of, "Ah you fucked up but it's okay, just try harder next time." But if you're a girl? You're dirty. You're damaged. You're done. I read one person's account of having to stand in front of the class in a line of people with a piece of tape. The first person tapes it to themselves for a few seconds and then passes it to the next. The next person will still be able to stick it to themselves but it'll be a little loose, littered with fibers from the previous kid's shirt. By the end of the line, the tape is so grubby it won't stick to the last person's shirt. This, they were told, is like a girl who sleeps around. She's useless, gross, used up and only worthy of being garbage. What else can this skit imply? Is there ANY other conclusion we are supposed to come to? The boy gets a frown, the girl gets the garbage can.

This is the premise for the story we were told, which was called "Stay In the Castle." It's your typical fairy tale about a princess. This princess lives in a castle with her wealthy, loving father The King. The King has always told her that someday a handsome prince will come and marry her, and she will go away to be with him and live happily ever after. There's just one rule: she has to stay in the castle and not allow herself to be tempted by hot guys in the village. Surprise! She is subsequently tempted by a hot guy in the village. Not only is she tempted, she falls in love with him.

"But I'm not supposed to leave the castle," gasped the princess, losing herself in her lover's stormy eyes. (Decided I'd have some fun with the retelling because what good is this story anyway? Lol)

"Oh, insert-princessy-name, if you'll come away with me I will make all your dreams come true! Just tell me you love me. I'm desperate for you! I can't sleep! You're all I want! If you don't come with me tonight I'll throw myself off the cliffs!"

The princess tried to be logical, her too-tight bodice heaving with each gasping breath like a wave of the ocean swelling and breaking on the shore. Emotions began to swirl, a hurricane of desperation and heartbreak and passion. She trembled under his touch and felt the jewel of her womanhood begin to throb with desire. (I think I missed my true calling to write cheesy harlequin romance novels because this shit is fun as hell!)

"Oh, hot-guy, we cannot hide our love anymore! Take me right here and now!" she cried, ripping her bodice open down the front.

"Here?" the hot guy said with confusion, looking around the dark castle garden. He pointed to a lighted window close by. "Isn't The King's room, like, right there?"

"Yes and I don't care! Take me now! Right here against this tree like an animal!"

"But-"

"Just ignore the guards, you idiot! I give myself to you! Now you must TAKE ME!"

After she un-purifies herself and lets loose her inner hoe, the princess and hot guy decide to get married and live together in the village. The King is very sad that his daughter has decided to leave the castle before this awesome prince can come and marry her, but she is determined to marry the hot guy and he can't deny her.

Several years later, the princess is sweeping the dilapidated front porch of the dirty hovel she shares with hot guy, who isn't so hot anymore. Hot guy has become a drunkard who spends his days (and money) at the tavern with whores, coming home only to demand dinner and sex before beating the princess up and leaving her pregnant (again). She already has about ten kids and (you guessed it) is pregnant once more. As she sweeps, a sound reaches her ears. She strains to hear it over the cacophony of her brats in the background tearing each other's hair out as they fight over their one toy. It's trumpets from the castle! An important visitor is arriving!

Humiliated, barefoot, pregnant, dirty and covered in bruises from her last encounter with hot guy, the princess watches as the perfect prince her father always told her about talks with The King, who is slowly and sadly shaking his head. The prince, obviously broken hearted, turns to look down at the village, and the princess quickly hides behind her front door, tears cascading down her face. IF ONLY SHE HAD STAYED IN THE CASTLE!

Yeah, that's the end. That's it.

The castle is a very obvious metaphor for virginity by the way, if you somehow missed it. The King is God. The prince is the perfect Christian husband God has waiting for you, but only if you're good. The hot guy and the consequences of poverty, domestic violence, sexual assault and slavery are what happens to slutty bad girls who get what they deserve. And once you lose your virginity you're done. God doesn't even want you to live with Him anymore because you're so disgusting. You have to go live with the other peasants in the village. And the good Christian husband also wants nothing to do with your hoe ass.

Even at the age of 14 I knew this story was problematic somehow. It bothered me quite a bit. At first I thought it was because I was scared of what would happen to me if I didn't stay in the castle, but now I think it's because even my young self knew how messed up this story was. All the girls in my class happily announced that they planned to stay in the castle, but a few weeks later one of my friends had sex with her boyfriend, wrote about it in her diary (where her mom found it) and was kicked out of school. I guess for her there was no happy ending anymore. She lost her chance to get God's blessing. We all thought it. We had been conditioned to.

THIS is the type of sick bullshit that drives policy decisions like the one that did away with Roe this week. Make no mistake about it. If they cared about women or "life" they would give a single shit about kids in foster care, families in poverty and all the issues that come with it and helping single mothers. They DO NOT care. In fact, I'd go so far as to say they WANT to punish women for having sex. This story clearly illustrates that they are totally fine with "bad" women getting "punished" in a variety of cruel and horrific ways for failing to remain "pure." And this is the future that is materializing right fucking now. I am so scared because I've LIVED THIS. I know exactly what drives these "Christians" and I know exactly how they think and it is terrifying.

Every person in America should be terrified. Every person should be disgusted. Every person should be screaming this from the rooftops. Do not tell me this is about life. It absolutely is not. It's about control, punishing women and keeping them in their place. It is about taking what happens in church and making it a reality for ALL of us despite what we believe. You think I'm exaggerating? Look at what SCOTUS has targeted this week: all separation of church and state stuff. This is by design.

And I don't know what I can do about it except share my story and the insight I have about Christianity. So this is the first entry of what will probably be many more revealing what American Christianity, and this strategic government takeover, is REALLY about.