CARTER

Bumaba agad ako sa kotse nang makarating sa resort. Ang pamilya ko ang unang sumalubong sa'kin. Malaki ang ngiti ni Nanay at Tatay sa'kin. They hugged me immediately while Kuya stared at us from behind, a teasing but adoring look in his eyes.

"Happy birthday, anak. You're already old enough to marry. Parang kailan lang, nagpa-practice ka pa maglakad," my teary-eyed mother said.

"Huh? Hindi naman siya magpapakasal, 'Nay!" sinamaan ako ni Kuya ng tingin. "Hoy, Carolina, ang bata mo pa para magpakasal."

Sinapak siya ni Nanay sa likod ng ulo. "Hindi ka man lang bumati sa kapatid mo! At 'saka, ikaw, ano plano mong bata ka, ha? Ang tanda mo na pero hindi ka pa kasado!"

"N-Naghihintay lang ako ng sign, Nay!"

"Anong sign? Na iwan ka na ng nobya mo sa tagal?"

Ngumiti sa'kin si Tatay at hindi namin pinansin ang away ng mag-ina. "Happy birthday, anak ko. I'm so proud of you. Next year, ga-graduate ka na rin."

I smiled and hugged him again. Nanginginig siya nang mayakap ko. I know that when I eventually graduate... iiyak na naman siya.

"Sorry, anak, ha. Dalawang taon ka ring tumigil dahil sa'kin..."

Umiling ako sa yakap. Ilang beses niyang inuulit sa'kin 'yan. He believes that my... stagnant years were due to his accident. Ayoko 'yon. Hindi naman niya kasalanan 'yon and it was my choice to handle our business. I did it... I managed to do it... Ang ibang rason naman, hindi na siya parte do'n.

"Hindi, 'Tay. Huwag kang magsorry kasi wala ka namang kasalanan."

"Tama 'yang anak mo, Terrence!" suway ng ina kong hinampas din ang ulo ng asawa. "'Tsaka, kung hindi 'yon nangyari, baka wala pa akong gwapong son-in-law! Nako!"

"Yuck, Nay. Huwag na huwag niyo 'yang maulit na nandito si Rook. Baka lalong lumaki ang ulo no'n."

Napagalitan na naman tuloy ulit si Kuya. I sighed and looked around. I thought... I'll see him once I arrived. Pero saan naman kaya nagtago ang lalaking 'yon?

Hmm... I smirked. Gusto niya bang maglaro ng tagu-taguan sa'kin? I'm confident that I can find him without trouble. But, I don't think he'd be happy if I suddenly spoil his plans. 

Inaya na ako ng pamilya ko sa loob. Umakto din akong nasurpresa nang papasok kami dahil hindi ko daw inakala na dadalhin nila ako sa resort. I don't know if I did a good job acting but they look satisfied at my reaction. Ipinaliwanag din ni Natalie sa'kin kung paano nila pinagplanuhan ito. It seemed like Daniel, Rook's closest friend aside from Ross, was the owner of the resort.

Malawak ang resort at napakaganda din nito. Malapit ito sa white-sand beach. There's also a large oval-shaped swimming pool in front of the main building - which is a place to book hotel rooms or villas, or to access available facilities in the resort. Maraming tao sa labas. I expected it because it was the holiday season. Akala ko nga ay doon kami patungo but Kuya guided us further into the resort. We walked, from the granite pathway to a wooden bridge that led us to a more secluded area. Dito, walang masyadong tao, at sina Daniel at Ross lang ang nakilala ko. 

Malapit pa din kami sa beach, but it was separated by a line of coconut trees from us. There was a rectangular swimming pool, na napapalibutan ng outdoor lounges. May open cabin din sa paligid. They instantly caught my attention because of the clam-like roof. I also spotted small villas around the place. Mga lima siguro. 

I guess... this is their private place in the resort. 

"Oi, Carter!" nakangiting kumaway-kaway si Daniel sa'kin. He walked closer to us, a wine in hand. "Hello! Happy birthday! Welcome din po, mama at papa ni Carter!"

"Hoy, magulang ko din sila." singit ni Kuya.

"Ang swerte niyo po talaga kay, Carter, ano? You're so lucky sa nag-iisang anak niyo!"

"Gusto mong masapak, Daniel?"

Sinamaan tuloy ulit siya ng tingin ni Nanay. "Ikaw, Mallory? Gusto mong hampasin ulit kita?"

"Nay, naman! Ako nga ang inaway, e!" reklamo niyang may papadyak-padyak pa.

Natawa naman ang magulang ko. They let Daniel entertain them. My mother winked at me and mouthed that I find Rook, while Kuya sent me a warning glare. 

"Sibat na din ako, Carter. May nakita akong inumin do'n," ani Claude at hindi na naghintay ng sagot at saka umalis.

"Kita mo ang lalaking 'yon," umiling-iling si Natalie. "Ay, basta, ako! Dito lang muna ako sa tabi mo hanggang 'di pa dumadating 'yang si Rook. Wala naman ako ditong makausap e. Ba't ba hindi nila inimbita si Jaycee?" mahinang reklamo niya.

Tinanguan ko siya. Hindi naman siya nagsalita pa at piniling tumahimik sa tabi ko. May hinahanap pa ako kaya hindi muna ako makakasagot.

"Donut..."

Nilingon ko si Ross. He looked as emotionless as ever. Kahit noon pa, he looked like his mind is often wandering. Lutang. But ever since three years ago, he started to look like a dead man who's just here to walk and live. Walang kawill-will na mabuhay.

"Ba't ka nag-iisa?"

Kumunot ang noo ko sa tanong niya at tumingin sa gilid. Nawala na si Natalie! Kanina, sabi niya mananatili siya sa tabi ko pero ba't bigla namang nawala?

"Nandito lang si Natalie kanina..."

Ross nodded to the table filled with drinks. "She's over there."

I followed his gaze. Naabutan ko pa ang isahang pagtungga ni Natalie sa alak.

"You've seen Rook?" tanong ko na lang.

Umiling si Ross.

"Hindi mo din alam kung nasaan siya-"

I don't know if Ross answered me or not because my attention was already stolen. Namataan ko ang dalawang pigura na galing sa beach. Una kong nakita si Rook na mukhang nakikipagtalo sa lalaking kasama na kamukha niya din. Is it one of his siblings? 

Inirapan niya ang kasama. I chuckled at his expression. Still as sassy as ever sa ibang tao pero ni hindi kayang magtaas ng boses sa'kin. 

Dahil sa pag-irap ay napunta sa'kin ang tingin niya. His eyes widened. Then, his face brightened and there was a wide smile on his face. Bumilis ang paglalakad niya palapit sa'kin. Sa unti-unting paglapit at sa galak sa mukha niya, I couldn't help but smile at him too.

"Carter!" he exclaimed, running to hug me. Hinayaan ko siya. I let myself lean on his hug, returning it with a pat on his back. Nang bitawan ako ay sobrang lapit nang mukha niya sa'kin. "Kanina ka pa dito?"

Umiling ako.

"Ako, bossmam, kanina pa naghihintay."

"Mm." I made a small pat on his head. "I know."

"Was I good, Miss? I waited for you."

Ngumiti ako at tumango.

"Hi!"

Napatingin kaming dalawa sa lalaking kasama ni Rook kanina nang bigla niyang isingit ang sarili sa usapan namin. Narinig ko pa ang mahinang pagmura ng katabi. He grinned at me. Now that I'm looking at him closely, talaga ngang may pagkahawig ni Rook, especially with that boyish grin on his face. They have the same almond-shaped eyes, sharp facial features, and straight eyebrows. Mukhang nasa genes din nila ang pagiging matangkad, because Rook's younger brother earlier was tall. Kasing-height din siguro kami no'n.

"Happy birthday!" bati niya. "Sorry if I just invited myself. I just wanted to see the girl that my lil bro can't stop talking about. By the way, I'm Zachariah Pawn, but just call me Kuya Pawn."

He held his hand out, ignoring the glare that Rook sent his way. I hesitatingly accepted it. 

"Carter," maikling pakilala ko. "Nice to meet you."

"Oh, ayan, nakilala mo na. Umalis ka na, Kuya!"

Pawn chuckled. "Oh, c'mon. All I heard was the name. Can't you leave us alone so I could talk to her more?"

"Ha?" Rook looked offended. "Ba't pa? Moment dapat namin 'to!"

Mas lalong natawa ang kuya niya. "Don't be so possessive, little brother."

"Umalis ka na, kasi!" at tinulak-tulak niya ang natatawang kuya palayo. He looked back to glare at the man who kept standing beside me. "At, ikaw, Ross? Ba't ka pa nandiyan?"

Umawang naman ang labi ng isa. "Ay, aalis din pala ako?" he scratched his head, glancing at me. "Happy birthday, donut."

I nodded. Tatawagin niya ba lagi ako niyan? "Thank you..."

Tumango din siya pabalik 'saka umalis. He joined Daniel's group, now with Pawn as well. Nandoon din ang magulang ko na mukhang aliw na aliw sa kanila. 

"Carter..."

I glanced at Rook who was staring at me attentively. Ngumiti siya nang magtama ang mata namin. He smoothly took my hand in his, playing with my fingers.

"Hi," ngiting bati niya.

I returned his affectionate smile. "Hi."

He pursed his lips. Alam kong may balak siyang sabihin pero mukhang pinipigilan niya ang sarili. He took a glance at the group and tilted his head, "Punta tayo do'n, bossmam?"

Hm. I thought he was trying to get some alone time with me but now...

Mahina akong tumango. Masaya niya akong hinatak papunta kina Daniel na agad kaming tinukso. Pinandilatan agad ako ni Natalie ng mata. Nanghihingi siguro ng tsismis. Malaki naman ang ngiti ng mga magulang ko habang nakangiwi si Kuya sa magkahawak naming kamay.

The whole afternoon was filled with joy and banters. Inaya ni Daniel na doon na mag-overnight na lang daw muna kami doon. He prepared a villa for my family and Natalie. Hindi ko alam kung may pinag-usapan sila ng magulang ko bago nito at mabilis silang um-oo. Si Natalie ang pinakamasaya doon. She tried so hard to avoid my accusing stare at her. Kaya naman pala bago kami umalis kanina, parang i-empake niya na buong damit namin.

Rook... was just around me the whole time. If he's not clinging to me, then he's just at arm's length. Bawat magtama ang mata namin, makahulugan siyang ngumingiti. Tapos minsan, hahawakan ang kamay ko at paglalaruan. From time to time, he would whisper some nonsense as a start of a conversation. Even if we were in the middle of a group conversation, there was always this bubble that only we can relate to. And honestly... I liked it. 

Dumating ang gabi na tila ba satisfied na ang lahat sa holiday get-away nila. After dinner, a group of guys came and prepared a stage. Dumating din ang isa pang kuya ni Rook. Si Knight. But what caught my attention, as well as Rook's, was Klaus' face.

"Oi," Klaus grinned at us, running close. "Kayo pala 'yong birthday party na gig daw. Bilis nating magkita ulit, Carter," he glanced at Rook. "Siguro tinadhana tayo."

"Hoy-"

Magsasalita pa lang sana si Rook nang maputol siya nang sumulpot na Natalie. She stared at Klaus for a second before beaming. "Classmate ni Carter!" she exclaimed. "Ba't ka nandito? Invited ka rin?"

"Uh..." natahimik si Klaus at iniwas ang tingin. He awkwardly answered, "Dito gig namin."

"OMG! Kayo 'yong nabook na banda? I didn't know you play!"

"Hindi mo naman ako nire-replyan..."

Natalie chuckled. "Sorry! I was busy... No, I'll see if I'd reply to you after this!" sabay kindat niya.

Lumapit sa'kin si Rook. "Carter, hindi ka pala gusto ni Klaus? Si fairymother type niya?" bulong niya.

I gave him a silent nod. His stiff stance slowly relaxed. Ngunit may sinulyapan siya sa likod namin. Curious, I followed his eyes and found Ross seriously staring at us.

"Ah, t-talaga?" namumulang kinamot ni Klaus ang leeg. "Sige. Ano... Gagalingan ko..."

"Sige nga! Pakita nga!" my tipsy bestfriend challenged, slapping him in the arm. "Weak pa naman ako sa mga nasa banda."

Mas lalong ginanahan naman si Klaus. He sent me a winning glance and ran toward his bandmates. Natalie was still laughing quietly as she stood beside me.

"Cute pala niya, 'no."

Rook side-eyed her. "Nako, fairymother. Baka may magtampo sa'yo."

Kumunot ang noo ko sa kaniya. Natalie only laughed again. "Sino naman? Si Carter?"

Mabilis akong hinatak ni Rook sa kaniya. He was about to retort a childish remark when Ross passed by, murmuring a "Tss..."

Nagkatinginan kami ni Rook. He gave me a small shrug and drag me a bit further away. Nagsimulang kumanta ang banda kaya tahimik akong nanood sa kanila. I saw my parents sitting next to each other, with my mother leaning her head on my father's shoulders. Napangiti ako. Seeing them so sweet, I took the chance to glance at Rook but found him already staring at me. May pakiramdam ako na mula kanina pa niya ako pinapanood.

I tilted my head. "Hmm?"

He turned to face me, intertwining our hands. The bright lights reflected on the pool, and our reflections were also clear on the waters. Malakas ang tunog ng banda, ngunit tila ba tumahimik lahat sa paligid ko. My attention was only focused on Rook. All I could see was his smile, the way he bit his lip in a nervous manner, how cold and sweaty his palm feels against mine, and how his eyes sparkled like the stars on this moonless night. All I know is that this man here... was the drifting plank that the waves brought so I could be saved from those still waters. All I know is that this man... was the radio static that suddenly turned the dull colors around me bright.

All those times waiting for a chance to let go... to walk out of that old garage and see what the future holds... but always, always so scared of the sun. Then suddenly you came, and I thought... maybe this is it.

The constant silence that was my life after all those years of anguish were filled by your noise.

"Carolina Therese," he whispered my name so tenderly. "Ang ganda mo talaga, 'no."

Umirap ako, pilit na pinipigilan ang ngiti. "Stop dancing around and just ask the question already."

"Shh! Huwag kang KJ!" suway niya kahit natatawa. A slow song played and he raised my hands to his shoulders as he secured his arms on my waist. "Miss Carolina Therese, sa lahat ng wrong sa mundo, ang wrong send ko sa'yo ang pinaka-right na nangyari."

I chuckled and he glared at me. Hindi din pala ako pwedeng tumawa, Rook Fuentavedra?

"Alam ko naman na hindi ko kayang mapalaki si Kevin at Felix nang mag-isa, kaya siguro hinulog ka ng langit sa'kin. Malakas din talaga ang instinct ko at nalaman ko palang noong una na interesting ka. Kaya hindi ako nagre-regret na kinulit kita ng kinulit. Kasi kung hindi mo nakita ang cuteness ko, siguro wala ka dito sa harap ko ngayon."

Me too... If it wasn't for your frequent noise, I probably wouldn't be able to continue like this. Pero, ang lakas din naman ng tingin niya sa sarili 'no?

"Ikaw 'yong hindi nakakasawang hintayin, Miss. At kahit magtanda tayo, hihintayin pa rin kita. Kung mauuna ka, I'll chase after you. Kung ako naman mauuna, I'll wait for you. Basta lagi, gusto ko... magkasama tayo. Kaya naman, Miss, simulan na natin ang pagsasama natin ngayon."

Hindi ko naman mapigilan ang matawa ulit. "Mukhang hindi ka naman nagtatanong."

"Siyempre, bossmam, magtatanong ako. Excited ka naman."

I pinched his shoulder and he winced. Mahina siyang um-'aray' at tinapunan ako ng nagsusumbong na tingin. Pero hindi nagtagal, ngumisi din siya.

Baliw talaga.

"Carter, will you be my girlfriend?"

Ngumiti ako. "Yes."

He returned my smile at first. Later, it widened. Maya-maya, mahinang tumatawa-tawa na siya. He bit his lip, looking down and murmuring a soft curse.

When Rook raised his eyes at me, he was teary-eyed. Tila pinipigilan niya pa ang pagtawa dahil panay ang kagat niya sa ibabang labi. 

"Yes 'yon, 'diba, Carter?" galak na tanong niya. "Akin ka na? Tayo na?"

I nodded.

"Fuck, yes! Fuck!" sigaw niya at niyakap ako. 

Ilang sandali lang ay naramdaman ko ang pagbuhat niya sa'kin. He spun around, still holding me by the waist and carrying me up. He keeps on shouting and cursing to himself until he settled me down and I chuckled at how he was crying in pure happiness. 

"Fuck, Carter, I'm so happy. You don't know how you made me so happy today... I love you so much..." he bumped our foreheads, staring deep into my eyes. "Can I kiss you, hm?"

Nang tumango ako ay agad niyang inatake ng halik ang mukha ko. He peppered my face with his gentle kisses, hanggang sa iginiya ko siya palapit sa labi at siniil ng malalim na halik. He sighed in our kiss. He wasn't my first kiss, and I know I'm not his, but I've never been kissed this tenderly before. His lips moved as if I was a fragile thing that should be handled with care. He wasn't aggressive... or rough... instead, he kissed me so languidly. He was taking his time and I let myself fall into his grasp.

When he slowly let go, his eyes hooded and in a trance, I took the chance to brush my thumb against his cheeks. Pinunasan ko ang luha niya. 

"Why are you crying? Parang inaway tuloy kita,"

Rook closed his eyes and bumped our noses, "I'm just so happy to hear you say yes, Miss. And that finally... girlfriend na kita."

Nakangiti akong tumango. Suddenly, he stiffened, and he pulled away from me with wide eyes. Magtatanong na sana ako kung anong problema nang suminghap siya at dramatikong tinakpan ang bibig.

"Bossmam!" he exclaimed. "Girlfriend na kita!"

"Yes, Rook. Boyfriend na kita."

"Fuck!" he screamed. Nilingon niya ang mga kasama namin na nanonood pala sa banda namin at sinigawan niya ang mga 'yon, "Girlfriend ko na si Carter! Sinagot niya na ako! Fuck! Sorry po, Tita at Tito, sa pagmumura pero kasi sinagot na po ako ng anak niyo!"

Nagtawanan ang mga nasa mesa. Some of them hollered their 'congratulations' to Rook, habang si Kuya ay nanghahamon naman ng away. Sinagot naman siya ni Rook na ireschedule na lang daw dahil sobrang saya siya ngayon at hindi niya alam ang salitang galit.

I shook my head at his antics. With a doting smile on my face, I made him face me again. Hoy, Rook Fuentavedra, mukhang nakakalimutan mo kung kanino dapat atensiyon mo ngayon, ha?

"Carter! Girlfriend na kita! Boyfriend mo na ako!"

Sunod-sunod akong tumango dahil hype na hyper siya. Nako, paano na lang pala 'pag inaya ko 'tong magpakasal? Baka magbreakdown na 'to sa sobrang saya?

"Mahal na mahal kita, Carter." bulong niya.

I snaked my arms around his neck and pulled him down so I could kiss his mouth shut. Then, I whispered against his lips, "I love you so much too, Rook."