"Carter," hinawakan ni Rook ang nanginginig na kamay ng babae. "I know, and you've reminded me every time we have this conversation, that you don't believe in destiny and fate. Kaya, sige, hahayaan kitang paniwalaan 'yan. What do you want to call this then? Me texting you? An accident? A mistake?"

Natigilan si Carter. Why... is he suddenly saying this?

"Okay. Kung 'yon ang tingin mo, sige." tumango-tango si Rook, ang mata niya'y hindi pa rin inaalis kay Carter. "Pero sa buong buhay ko, ito na siguro ang pinakamagandang kasalanan na nagawa ko, bossmam. That accident was something I'd never regret. Meeting you, destiny man o aksidente, kahit ano pang mangyari, babalik-balikan ko."

"What... What are you saying?"

"Total, bossmam, mag-aaminan na lang din tayo, e'di sasabihin ko na lang lahat ng nararamdaman ko sa'yo!"

"W-Wait-"

Carter was taken aback. Rook has always been expressive. It's as if, showing his feelings, putting them out in the open, was never a problem of his. And that's probably why, rather than confronting him, Carter always chooses to run away.

Sa kanilang dalawa, siya naman talaga ang duwag.

"I was about to give up when I found out I got the number wrong, you know. After all, it was just a dare. Hindi naman ako seryosong naghahanap. I only picked her because she was the closest to my type among all the girls there. Honestly, I would have stopped texting you, pero kung balikan natin ang unang mga messages, Carter, I'm the one who keeps on clinging to you. Siniksik ko talaga sarili ko sa buhay mo because the more I read your texts, I get so curious I can't help it!"

Rook took a deep breath, still not wavering, still not letting go.

"Tapos, tumagal. Tapos, mas nakilala kita. I thought my curiosity would disappear but every single time you reply, I wanted to talk more. Hanggang sa hinihintay ko na lang palagi... na kahit anong makita kong topic, sasabihin ko. Na kukulitin kita sa kung ano para lang hindi mawala atensiyon mo sa'kin. Na kahit may mga beses na nagseselos ako no'ng kinu-kuwento mo ex mo, nagpi-play-it-cool lang ako." he rambled on. "Honestly, Carter, I liked you before I heard your voice... or saw your face... or got to be with you in person."

There was supposed to be a storm that'd hurl Carter's boat, but now... the cloudy sky... was all clear.

"Noong una, I admire you. You were so cool! And then, it turned to like. And when I heard your voice, I keep on wanting more. To see your face. To know you in person. To touch you. To have you. Sobrang gusto kita na nang makita kita kanina, I finally realized that it wasn't just like anymore, I've already fallen. Nadapa at nahulog na talaga. Sobrang lalim na parang 'di na ako ulit makaahon... na ayaw na ngang umahon..."

It was like Carter's constant again, and the tide that she saw coming, wished not to engulf her, but to bring her ashore...

"Carter... Bossmam..." Rook cupped her face. "Miss, have faith in me. Don't ever think that my love for you will waver just because I met someone who was supposed to be my textmate. Huwag na huwag mong maiisip 'yan dahil sinira mo na kaya ako. Right now, I can't even see anyone other than you. Blurred na ang face ng ibang mga babae sa'kin! Well, except sina Mama at Reina pero alam mo naman 'yon."

Rook felt a little proud when he noticed Carter stifling a smile.

"Bossmam..." he took a hold of his hand, placing it above his heart. "Ninakaw mo na 'to. Hulog na hulog na 'to sa'yo."

"Shut up."

Rook chuckled, kissing her forehead. "Kaya huwag kang mag-isip ng gano'n. Lalo na, huwag mo kaya akong pangunahan, Miss! Ikaw lang... Ikaw lang, Carter..."

"Because... you shouldn't-"

"Ayan na naman tayo sa-!"

"Rook," she cut off. "You'll only hurt yourself with me. I'm not that cool, strong person you see. I'm... not as beautiful as you think. I'm not strong or courageous. You could say that the Carter you've met all this time was just a mask... because, deep down, I'm all ruined."

A lonely smile appeared on her lips as she met Rook's teary eyes. "I always say and think I've moved on, but the moment I try to step forward, there are chains bounding me to the past."

Carter brushed some of the hair from his sweaty forehead, swallowing at the obvious effort of chasing her down.

"That cool person you see will disappear once you see me for who I am. Sometimes, the nightmares would come, and I'd cry all night. I'll be thrashing on my bed-"

"Okay lang! Kung iiyak ka, pupunasan ko luha mo. Kung may bangungot ka, gigisingin kita at pakakalmahin!"

Umiling si Carter. "I would overthink. I would get anxious. I get really, easily afraid."

"That's not a problem. Minsan ako din naman ganiyan. Everyone suffers that, Carter, and I'll always be by your side when that happens! I'll tell you to not be afraid. I'll lend you my strength!"

"May mga beses na parang wala akong kayang magawa. I'd just be stuck with my own self for the whole day-"

Rook cut her off again. "You won't be with me. Kung gusto mong mapag-isa, hahayaan kita. Pero kung sa tingin mo nag-iisa ka lang, e'di ipaparamdam ko na lagi akong nandito!"

Carter, now looking a bit irritated, came up with more excuses. "Sometimes, I'd be really, really annoyed! Sobrang iritado ako na ayaw kong makita mukha mo-!"

"E'di hihintayin kong mawala iritasyon mo bago magpakita ulit!" Rook retorted.

"I'd also shut myself out! Na hindi mo ako makakausap kahit anong gawin mo-!"

"If you want some time alone, I'd let you! But of course, whatever happens, I wouldn't let you suffer alone!"

"And sometimes, when I remember that night, I'm afraid of being touched!"

That statement, however, made Rook freeze.

"Kapag nangyari 'yon, hindi ko kayang makita ang kung sino. Dahil kahit anong pilit ko sa sarili, I keep on seeing his face. I keep on remembering his hands all over my skin." Carter shivered, as the memories reappeared. "How he tried to keep me quiet, whispering threats, while touching me all over. How he tried to take my hand to touch him. I remember how I wanted to puke. Na sobrang nakakadiri. Na kahit pamilya ko, kahit si Mama, hindi ko mahawakan!"

Rook tensed up, his breathing getting quicker as his heart brimmed with anger. Carter looked like she was lost in her memories. Kitang-kita ni Rook kung gaano nasasaktan si Carter. The pain in her face was enough to also give him nightmares. And like it was his only way to console her, hinawakan niya ang braso ng dalaga para yumakap nang bigla siya nitong itulak ng sobrang lakas.

Carter stared at him in horror.

Rook was quick to correct the surprise on his face. "Carter, no, that was a normal reaction. I shouldn't have-"

"Would you still want someone like this, Rook? You won't even be able to hold me sometimes. And every time you try, I'd look at you in disgust. Isa pa..." she showed her trembling hands. "You shouldn't be with a tainted woman. These hands are dirty-!"

His jaw clenched. Rook stepped forward, keeping Carter's gaze on him, as he destroyed her little bubble and touched her skin. Sinubukan nitong alisin ang kamay pero nagpumilit si Rook. He caressed her soft palms, memorizing every line and making her remember how gentle his touch can be.

"Carter. Hindi siya ako." he explained, slowly intertwining their hands. "I'd show you. I'll make you see that my touch is different. Sige, siguro mahirap, pero hindi ako madaling sumusuko." he raised their intertwined hands towards his cheeks. "I'll make you forget every other touch but mine."

Nag-uunahan ang luha na bumuhos sa mata ni Carter. Rook wants to wipe her tears so much, but showing her this was more important.

"And you can be as broken and difficult to have, but I would never budge. Kapag nagdesisyon ako, iyon na 'yon. And until you accept me, I'd wait. Hanggang sa tingin mo okay ka na at handa, nandito lang ako, laging handa at naghihintay sa'yo."

Rook moved her hands to wrap around his neck, whilst placing his to cup her cheeks. Maingat niyang ini-angat ang napakagandang mukha ng Carter niya. He slightly lowered his head, making their foreheads touch, before he made his promise.

"I will always wait for you."

Someday, you'll have the courage to leave the still waters and brave the waves.

Someday, you can ride the tide I sent so you'll arrive here at shore, straight to my arms.

But until then... I'll wait.