Today is the most depressing day of my entire life.

Alright, that's a bit of a stretch, but it could certainly go top five.

Today is April 19th. It's the day after the show. The show itself was a smash hit. It was the greatest thing I've ever done in my whole life.

But that all changed.

How, you ask? How could you have a best day one day, then the next your worst?

It's very simple actually. Especially if your name happens to be James Ignis.

What happened? It was a mixture of two factors: alcohol and poor judgement.

So now I know two less people alive.

I don't know how it happened, but I got the news the very day of April 19th.

And the world around me came crashing down.

Down,

Down,

D

O

W

N.

Like an avalanche of snow.

Or a hamalanche of pigs.

Any way you want to call it. Call it how you see it or call it how I see it. Your choice.

But I'm sticking to my worst nightmare.

On the night of April 18th after the talent show, a black sedan was found with Keith Wilson and Amber (I don't know what her last name was), dead, in a drunk driving accident by wrapping around a tree then catching on fire and then the tree crushing them.

I don't know how it happened. Police say drunk driving. I don't believe them one bit.

But the evidence is against my claim, so I'm rendered useless.

It gets worse, I tell you. Remember, I'm only Keith's friend. Amber is guess who's best friend.

So I'm with Kat in my dorm. We're hugging and crying and sobbing and filling-trash-cans-with-tissues-ing.

   "Why?" she cried.

   "Why us? Why you? Why me? Why, cruel world, why?" I cried as well.

This went on for two or three (or four) hours. Basically asking the same question about the same people to the same exact person.

Just, why?

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It was five hours before Kat left. I was reading the newspaper and it was almost all boring: serial rapist still hasn't been caught, one hundred year old pianist, politics, you get the idea.

But I just kept reading the same story over and over again. I just couldn't get it out of my head. It was stuck inside, like a genie in a bottle. Maybe if I rubbed a little, it'd come out (seriously, I'm making too many puns).

The one about Keith and Amber.

It said the same thing the police told us. Family, dreams, future career, etc. They even mentioned his K.E.I.T.H project. I was surprised the media got a hold of it.

But no mentions about me, his ramen buddy. No James Ignis popping up anywhere.

It doesn't matter. I'm sure it will all get better in time.

For better or for worse, that is the question.

Who am I kidding? It'll never get better. No matter what people say, do, or think. Everyone who truly knows about it knows it'll never get better.

So as I read the newspaper below the clock tower, I was feeling like the saddest person alive.

Even with a fan club.

And no matter how much moral support they give you, you don't feel fully healed. It's natural for humans to avoid unpleasant thoughts or actions. It's called fear.

But sometimes, they get to you anyway. That's why depressed people are suicidal.

   "Are you sure you're okay, James? You seem to be taking this rather hard." Katherine remarked as she sat down beside me under the clock.

   "I'm fine. What about you? Are you having a tough time losing a friend like that?" I asked her.

   "No. I'm not horrible, but ever since she was occupied with Keith, I've been in the library during lunch, reading. Alone."

   "Wow, okay." Now was my chance.

   "It's just I invested all my time in Amber. Maybe I should've had a backup plan. Another friend just in case..."

   "Hey, Kat."

   "What James?"

   "I'm alone underneath this clock tower every lunch with a bowl of ramen. Whaddaya say we...be alone together?" I asked. Pretty romantically ironic.

   "That sounds like a great idea." she replied. She leaned on my shoulder. I inhaled the scent of apple pie. I was alone. She was alone as well. But, at least we could be alone together.