You're never going to read this, but if you do, have a good life 

What if I never met you
what if you never walked into my life
would I be different? would anything be different?
I like to think that I would be the same person
but with more confidence, more happiness in her life
less fear of relationships

if only you hadn't come, I wouldn't doubt myself
if only you hadn't come, I would be more confident with everything I do
if only you hadn't asked me that one day if I could be yours
if only I wasn't as stupid as I was before
then maybe, just maybe
I would be an okay person, I would be happy and calm and confident

but I'm not

although you messed up a part of me, I managed to remove some of your mistakes
I learned from you
don't fall so easily, don't trust too fast, don't give your heart out to just anyone
I learned about the signs and how somebody isn't supposed to treat someone 

I then tried to bring you back into my life and make peace, 

you didn't even try
you just focused on you, you, you
never I, all you wanted was to satisfy your needs

and to think I could find someone who would treat me well, and care for me

i soon learned I was wrong