Maybe, If I Wasn't Deaf...

Mommy, I Love You
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I awake in a drowsy state with my vision blurry. Then, I inhaled the sent of sweat and gasoline deeply. I went to wipe my half open eyes only to be stopped by a barrier. I turned lazily to fuzzily see a small wall. I giggled as I slipped back into my sleep world.

'Come quickly Baby Boy*,' my mother signed to me as we slipped passed my dad who was busy sleeping on the couch. A frown tugged on my lips as I saw a half empty bottle of adult drink, as Mommy says, in his hand. Mommy grabbed my wrist as she pulled my down our driveway.

My bare feet were sore from the walk from home to the small forest but it was okay because I loved the forest. The sent of nature always made me happy and Mommy too. Mommy patted a seat next to he so I sat down.

'Baby, I want to show you something,' Mommy told me. She shoved a book into my hands and I opened it happily. The first thing my eyes fell upon was a picture of Daddy with his head thrown back in laughter. Mommy held onto his sun kissed skin and a smile made itself present on her pale pink lips. The words 'It's A Boy' was hung above their heads.

The picture beside that one was in the same setting but this time Daddy's pale blue eyes and Mommy's dark blue eye were wide open filled with love and hope. Daddy looked so unnaturally happy and it made a smile work it's way onto my lips.

'Daddy loves you Baby,' Mommy signed to me as the scene faded into one where I was eight instead of four.

I was pushed to the ground roughly making my bleach blond hair in need of a haircut cover my eyes that were the same colour as Dad's. Pain shoot through my bum and I squeezed my eyes trying to avoid the pain of what was to come next.

I hoped that it won't come but every day it did and today would be no expection. Pain erupted in my stomach as I lost the little food I had eaten. Another hit came down onto my weak, small body.

'Dad stop,' I signed messily as my hands shook with the pain of each blow that was given to me. My dad got close to my face, the stench of alcohol invading my senses. He spat on me and kicked me one last time before leaving me as a sobbing mess on the ground.

Maybe, if I wasn't deaf, I could tell him to stop.

I opened my eyes on the day of my thirteenth birthday and then I closed them. I released a deep breath and reopened my eyes. Everything was going to be normal. Nothing was going to change now that I was a teenager. I had stopped wishing the beatings would stop two years ago choosing to become numb to feeling instead.

Maybe, if I wasn't deaf, thing would change.

I rolled out of bed, my eyes burning from the lack of sleep. I ignored it as I dragged my body to the pile of stained, smelly clothes that I'd have to put on my body. I had told my mom and dad I was gay about two weeks ago and everything has gone downhill since.

We have had less money which means we have less food. I sighed as my mom walked in. She sat on my bed, her head hanging low a I put the clothes on. The pants I grabbed pulled roughly against my skin and I groaned in pain. My huge hips seemed to have gotten bigger but I pushed that thought out of my mind and looked at my mom.

'Hi Mom,' I signed quickly.

'Hi Baby,' my mom signed back glancing at me through her dirty hair but I could still see her tear stained face and the bruise that decorated her right eye.

'How'd you get the bruise?' I asked.

She hesitantly signed back,'I fell. I'm clumsy I guess.' It was a lie and I frowned deeply.  I didn't have to time to sign back as I needed to go to shook so I turned to leave. Just before I left, I turned around.

'Mommy, I love you.' Then I ran to catch the bus.

I awoke in a small cage made for animals but I could fit in it since I was only 5'2 even at 17. I was about to survey my surroundings when're cage I was in was tossed onto a solid ground. I let out a high pitched yelp that I heard at its height. I closed my eyes and when I opened them I was staring into hazel pools.

The man's lips began moving and I read his lips as best as I could. Why aren't you talking dirty boy? I knew that sentence all too well so it wasn't too hard to keep up. I tried my best to sign back in the small space I had.

'I am deaf,' I signed. His eyebrows shot up and opened his mouth to speak. His head snapped to the right before he could talk though and then he was out of my line of sight. He was probably talking to someone but I had no way of knowing for sure.

Maybe if I wasn't deaf I would have an idea of what's happening.

Suddenly, I had dark green eyes staring into my mine, radiating confidence and power. A small, pink blush decorated my face making my pale skin stand out even more while I complimented how well his raven black hair fitted his face in my head. My blush only darkened when he flashed a pearly white smile at me.

"Hi," I sign nervously. He glanced over my body, taking in my childbearing hips and the way my ribs stayed away from my stomach. He stood up letting me see how tall he really was and he was very tall. He bent down again to communicate with me.

'Hi little one, my name is Cerberus,' the man signs to me. I raised my hands and picked what I was to say carefully.

"My name is Link. Where am I?" I sign back. Cerberus nodded as if agreeing to something, not that I would know what he was agreeing to.

Maybe, if I wasn't deaf, I would know what Cerberus was agreeing to.

'You may come out,' Cerberus signed to me as he opened the small cage door. I glanced up the tall man with uncertainty but when he looked at me with those powerful, green eyes, I crawled out.

Before I could say or do anything else, Cerberus scooped me up and placed me on his hip like a child. My head rested against his broad shoulder. Something was happening. I knew something was happening because, for a split second, my silent world was interrupted by a high pitched noise.

I froze and clung to Cerberus. I looked at my surroundings, searching for a glimpse of the sound filled world I wish I knew. What I found was cages. Cages everywhere. My eyes widened at the sight.

Tears fell from my face as a thought hit me, I wasn't the only one they took. It was comforting yet disturbing. It made everything so much more real.

I wanted to cry into Cerberus' shoulder but ran away from him at the same time. I looked a Cerberus as he handed a man more money than I've ever seen. Right there and then, I puked. I was so stressed and overwhelmed that I puked.

I was being sold and I felt so sick. I told myself it wasn't real and that I'd soon wake up to my Mom's bruised face. Cerberus held me as I threw up right into his expensive shoes.

The small stream of tears that were coming out of my eyes turning into a river that poured out of my eyes. Even though I was beaten and shamed, I've never been this scared.

Just yesterday, I was sitting on my wore out bed avoiding my Dad and now here I am in a man's, who just bought me, arms. Wait. How much time has passed since the took me?How long was I in that cage? How long has my dear mother been dead? I threw up again.

Stomach acid burned my throat as it passed by it and unto Cerberus' shoes and the floor. My mom was dead. The only person that cared about me was gone. She loved me and now, now she's dead. I sobbed harder as memories of my mom flooded into my mind.

My attraction towards Cerberus quickly turned into a strong hatred. Cerberus was buying me from the man that took my freedom and mom away. The only two things in my life I cared about was gone. It was gone and Cerberus had taken it. My breathes were labored as I recovered from my puking. My eyes burned with hatred but it quickly turned into pain as I threw up for the third time. I then passed out.

~

I woke up at a hospital. I recognized it because a kid at school knocked me out so I had to be taken to one. Dad had beaten me extra hard that day because hospitals were expensive. I shivered at the memory before a doctor came into my line of vision, followed by Cerberus, surprising me.

Maybe, if I wasn't deaf, I would've heard them come in.

The doctor said something and then Cerberus signed it to me. I was a bit out of it but I managed to pick up that I was malnourished and dehydrated or something. Life threatening and stomach acid yada yada. Hey, I wonder if I can fly. Probably. I should ask Cerberus when we could fly. After a nap. 

~
I awoke still in the hospital but this time, with more of a grip on reality. I could remember everything that had happened. I blushed at my thoughts. I was really stupid since I hate flying.

I don't really know but I get motion sick and I hate the thought of being thousands of feet in the air in an object that defines the laws of physics. Literally. I know all the laws and the mechanics of an airplane and they just don't work. I shivered at the thought of something not listening to science. Science makes sense and is logical so when science can't explain something, red flags should be raised.

Yet, I do follow a religion. I'm not going into detail about being a Jehovah's Witness but I don't celebrate anything which is fine because I've had nothing to celebrate. I've always believed God would save me from my Dad and I should be grateful I was, but he also let me get sold. I was upset about that fact but I believe God has a plan for me.

I smiled to myself as hope made its way into my mind. This is an emotion I can always rely on. My thoughts were interrupted as Cerberus tapped on my shoulder. I looked at the man who bought me and he began to sign to me.

'You should smile more,' he told me with a poker face. He paused half way through that signing but signed the rest of it anyways.

'Thank you,' I tell him,'but I only smile for people who didn't buy me.' Cerberus stared at me with a poker face and raised his hands to sign something to me. He dropped his hands and looked out his window.

'Hey, Link,' Cerberus turned back to me,'have you ever been on an airplane?' My face twisted with disgust.

'No,' I sign,'and I never plan on being on a death machine that define the laws of physics.' Cerberus frowned at that.

Maybe, if I wasn't deaf, I would've known his reason for frowning was we were going to be on an airplane.

Maybe, if I wasn't deaf...

~

Words: 2032

* Sign language is a very broken language and doesn't have every word. I'll be writing what they sign as if it wasn't broken

Side note, I am not personally a Jehovah's Witness but I do know quite a bit about it and it also adds character so I hope you guys don't mind Link is religious.