Amelia was curled up in her bed, her face swollen and red from crying almost non-stop for two days.

She was holding Zac's T-shirt to her chest, no matter what she chose to do, she would most likely never see him again and it hurt so much she almost wished that she could just die.

She saw no other possibilities, she couldn't drag him down with her, she couldn't let her mistake ruin his career and she couldn't handle that he should be disappointed in her.

Her chest was back to feeling like a raw bleeding wound and it was like she couldn't breathe right, like there wasn't oxygen enough.

She didn't have anymore tears back, but once in a while her body would contract in dry rasping sobs, that hurt her head and her chest.

Her phone had been turned of since she boarded the plane, it was easier that way, she couldn't handle talking to neither Zac nor Jasper or to know they were desperately trying to reach her.

Luckily Jasper where in Hamburg this week with another artist, if he had been in Copenhagen he would probably already be on her doorstep, now she had a couple of days extra before facing him.

Tomorrow Daniel would expect her answer and she still didn't know what to do, she couldn't see a way out.

She couldn't get that kind of money, she had thought about lending them at the bank, but what would she say ? They probably wouldn't lend her that much anyway if it wasn't for a house or car.

And just the idea of going back to him made her feel physical ill, that simply wasn't a possibility.

Right now she was actually contemplating if suicide could be an option, but she didn't think that she could actually do it.

Why couldn't she just be allowed to be happy ? She thought she had worked hard for it, but apparently  she didn't deserve it.

It was like Zac and her was cursed, no matter how much they loved one another they couldn't be together, like something just wanted to keep them apart.

It had felt so right this time, so perfect and for a while, she had actually believed that it was maybe forever.