I want to try on these skinny jeans and a skimpy top. I want to look different from my usual self. So I'm currently on a blue crop top but I had to wear a full button cardigan because my confidence level is at one percent.

I feel conscious of my nonexistent front and backside. It's a night out with my bestie and some of his friends at our regular viewing center.
We rescheduled our hang-out today and I won't miss that for a cup of ice cream with Jessica who's crying over spilled milk.

She was exhausted with Landon acting like they were just friends even when rumor already has it that they're together.

Folks were beginning to question the truthfulness of their situation because there hasn't been any acknowledgment from both sides by a popular show of affection in the hallways, class or cafeteria.

She said they had an argument over it and Landon prefers to focus more on his career which wasn't what Jess wanted.

She craved a trophy relationship, the title of the best couple in May blossom high. They argued over it for hours and she stormed off crying, she deleted his number in my presence.

At this point, I feel the heavens are smiling at me. I don't like that my friend is heartbroken but I like that it makes me feel hopeful and yesterday Landon called me 'love' huh!...

I bite my lip, feeling tingly all over, tonight is special because I'll finally get to spend time with him without Jessica popping up since she already had his number deleted. I guess that's a good hint.

I might probably shoot my shot today.
And before you ask, I don't know how to flirt, I had to watch YouTube videos and read up some.

I'm at Parker's place, it's a two-story complex and the game house is on the first floor. I climb a few steps up, rubbing my hands from the cold. I hear voices coming from a distance.

Probably guys who placed bets and it got cut. I walk towards the entrance and push the glass door open. Thank heavens the lights are dim. I hate unnecessary attention, I don't wanna miss a step and give people the impression that I'm clumsy.

I stand there looking for my friend and his friends and my eyes light up when I see him at the corner in our favorite spot where the TV is close to the window and cushions surrounding it.

I check out the other guys too, Florida, Texas, King Cairo, and...

"Oh, thank heavens he's not here" I gush as I feel relief wash over me before walking over to them.

"K!!!" Landon presses me into his huge frame and I rue putting on this old cardigan, we would have melted body to body.

"You made it?!" he smiles, squeezing my cheeks in such a weird manner that got the others watching like hulks. I don't care.

"Hey T-boy, what's good?" Florida calls. He got that from Terri I'm sure. I nod in their direction.

Texas is fixed on his game, scrolling the pad and so was Cairo with his curly dark hair which always seemed moist. They're both playing against each other at the moment and it seems Texas is taking the win because Cairo is gripping his sexy hair in agitation.

Florida laughs out loud in sheer mockery of his teammate King-Cairo for being a loser.

He has such an awesome name though.

We all used to think he's from Africa because of Cairo and his tanning but it turns out his parents are just weirdos who thought combining such words to form a first name was awesome. His mother is a famous Hollywood reality TV star. I mean who doesn't know Indiana Monarch?

I guess people loved him for that too plus he's good-looking, kind, and quiet. He's one of the reserved kids at our school and also on the football team with Florida and Texas.

We've all been hanging out for a while and it's not an issue for me because I got used to them easily. I'm just happy Terri isn't here.

We play games for an hour, Landon orders drinks, Texas beat King Cairo again and he's embarrassed to the core. Florida doesn't hesitate to mock him, they throw shades at each other, and we all laugh.

Texas is more focused and only lets a smile, Landon throws up while gagging, and it's all interesting and memorable until I turn to the entrance, and there she's standing looking for something or rather someone, shit! Shit!!!.

My mood drops to zero when her eyes land on me and Landon sitting close. So close that I inhale his cologne, the feel of his strong arm brushing against mine was ethereal, I even had to take off my cardigan at some point.

Jessica throws her long legs in a stylish attractive manner causing guys to coo at her. Landon turns to the noise and his eyes lit immediately.

I'm confused, what's going on here?... Isn't he supposed to be angry at her for walking out on him and isn't she supposed to be pissed and done with him?...
She deleted his number right in my presence so how did she find out he was here?

I know Jessica has never hung out with us here not even when we weren't friends.

"Jessy I missed you," Landon says moving towards her while kicking at my legs by mistake. He hugs her just like he did me, my heart is weighing down on me now and I struggle not to have a panic attack.

"No you didn't miss me at all, if not you'd have texted me earlier. You ignored me for hours" she whines pushing at him Landon tries to explain.

Wait, He texted her?!.... So while I thought we were having fun and finally getting along he texted her our location?...

I move over for them and she's sitting between Landon and me.

"Hey Kenny" I mentally roll my eyes before pretending to be happy to see her.

"Jesse, I'm surprised to see you here, I thought you guys quarreled?"

"Yeah, he's sorry and misses me so he called and told me where to find him since my place is out of town."

And I hate myself now, I'm a big fool, he loves her no matter what. He chose her over me so why did I think a little altercation can break them apart?

Kendall, it's time you cut yourself some slack. I need fresh air now or I'll break down in front of everyone.

I step outside for fresh air, there's this low fence before me. I rush towards it not minding that I might stain my jeans. I perch and throw my head over the fence sobbing silently, rubbing at my asthmatic chest.

It's painful, I feel lightweight, like all the blood in my body is rushing to my head. I only realize it's because of the way I'm positioned when strong arms grab me from behind, lifting me off the ground and out from the shabby wall.

I manage to push back my head and stagger when my legs touch ground for a moment.

"Is that all you've got going? Is that all that's to the sorry-ass life that you'd wanna end so soon?!!" The irritated bass voice booms in my ear.

I take time to clear my eyes and trickling nose before I turn to the voice.

"Terri?!!" I'm rigid, my heart palpitates as I watch his dark eyes stare in scrutiny at the mess before him.

I don't wanna feel vulnerable before anyone, not before him, so I think of a lie. I think of how to deflate the situation.

"What?... Why are you looking at me as if I've been caught having sex outside?" I challenge.

He chuckles dryly. "Up with your pretentious mood again huh?... Look T, you can't fool me like you do others, you were hanging your head from that fence, gagging, yet you kept on with it. What was your aim? self-harm?" he asks, throwing me off.

Did he see everything?... But I wasn't, I wasn't trying to kill myself.

"What are you even talking about? just stay away from me Terri you have no say in my life okay?" I hiss, walking out on him and that's when I see he's holding a cigarette. It's almost burnt out. It means he's been using this place as his spot.

He grabs my hand again with force and spin me around, I'm so close to him and he smells of cigar.

"I've been there T-boy and it's as shitty as a pigs outlet. Self-pity, jealousy, pain, and soon revenge... I'm sure you've not gotten to that one yet but soon" he throws my arm away while I wriggle free.

I stand perplexed staring at the different side of him I've never seen, it's like he just shared a sneak peek of his mysterious life. Was the pain and jealousy with Sonia his ex?...

"Nobody is worth your life, nobody" he whispers, scrunching on his cigarette before walking off into the darkness.

I don't know what to say... Was Terri a bad person or was it that people judged him too fast?....

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