For the first time in a long time, my alarm isn't the first thing that wakes me up. Rather it's the loud sound of UCLA's fight song blaring from outside my window like it has for the past 1 hour. I have been trying to ignore it but whoever is playing it is obviously trying to show some school spirit which just happens to be ruining any chance of sleep left for me this morning. Serves me right for leaving my bloody window open overnight to let in some fresh air after Elle almost burnt down the house making french toast.

I groan as I roll out of bed, my fist grinding into my left eye in a desperate attempt to rub away any ounce of sleep left in my body. I was having my I don't know what to do with my life because I just got out of bed moment when the door to my room barges open and Shade walks in in a silk robe that's hanging all the way to the floor. She went for her hair appointment yesterday and came back late in the night. Although she sent a picture of her new blonde box braids, this is the first time I'm seeing it in person as I was fast asleep when she got back. That picture didn't do her justice at all. She looks amazing.

Judging by the annoyed look on her face I'm guessing she's not too happy about the sound either. Our rooms are right next to each other and we got stuck with the outside window while Elle and Samantha get a pretty view of our indoor courtyard. I'm surprised she's up early though-the girl can sleep through a storm.

"You're up early."

"My head feels like a jazz band has been playing in it all night." Shadé crawls under my cover as I get up to go shut my window. It doesn't drown out the sound but it doesn't sound like the song's playing inside my room anymore either. I nod my head to let her know I understand exactly how she feels. I spent half of the day doing school work, adding a few things to my article (which is due in just a few days) whilst trying not to panick about my meeting at the daily bruin's today. "I had to take my bonnet off in the middle of the night." she adds "Have you got an aspirin?"

"Yeah." I reply as I walk to my vanity to grab the bottle of aspirin that I keep there for when I'm pulling all nighters and I feel like my head's about to explode. I hand it to her with the half drunk bottle of water sitting by the side of my bed. "On the bright side, your hair looks really good though."

After downing the pill she mutters a thank you before dumping her head back on my pillow "I should just close my eyes and go back to sleep but I can't."

I open my closet and bring out my favourite blue mom jeans and a plain white shirt as I turn back to look at her. "I don't expect you to with that sound outside the window." I place my outfit on the bed and grab my towel from where it's sitting on my closed laundry basket "it sounds like an underwater symphony of bassoons and oboes. If that's what we play during the games I'm surprised our school has not been disqualified for noise pollution."

Shade chuckles slightly "I don't know what this guy's playing but the actual song isn't that bad." My eyes roll as I mumble a sarcastic sure. "Honestly Lorraine, I think you should come to the open practice today. We're all going to be there. No point staying cooked up in the house all by yourself."

They've all tried to talk me into attending midnight madness- an annual basketball event that celebrates the upcoming season in which the school team opens its first official practice to the public. It's usually combined with pep rallies and other fan friendly activities that has been going on for the whole week. Everywhere you turn to on campus it's all about the bruins. But tonight is the biggest night of it all. Pauley Pavillion is going to be open and the crowd is usually as crazy and big as actual games. I didn't attend it last year, I'm perfectly fine with not attending it this year too.

"No thank you." I say quickly as I strip down my nightie leaving me in my underwear. I wrap the giant white towel around my body and dump the night dress in my laundry basket. "I'm good."

Shadé sighs, obviously tired about my having to ask me the same shit everytime. Being the most antisocial one out of my friends does suck and although I do try to attend as much outings with them as possible some of them are just impossible for me. This just happens to be one of the impossible ones.

"I'm sorry." I sincerely apologise trying not to feel like a sh*t friend even though I totally should be feeling that way. All they want is for me to not feel left out.

"It's alright. Just sucks that you're not going to be there. Would you at least come to the after party? Aarti's sorority's throwing one."

I open my mouth to say no but stop myself before I can blurt out the word. "I-" I sigh "I'll try."

***

By the time I get to the Daily Bruins, I'm a few minutes late because campus is packed with people. From alumni's with greying hair to high school prospective students. It's like a freaking human sandwich in here and I can barely walk without apologising to people for bumping into them. A rap music is playing close to me but I can also hear the loud chanting of the school's fight song from the line of people walking towards the pavilion.

As I climb up the stairs that lead up to the double doors, I pull my phone out of my pocket. The group chat has been buzzing with the girls constantly updating each other on their whereabouts. Shadé's currently stuck manning her department's tailgate as the guys who were supposed to do it came up with a bullsh*t story to get out of it. She's not too happy about it-especially now that Elle and Sam have finally linked up and are already drinking with Elle's swimming team buddies.

Just as I prepare to whip up a reply on how terrified I am about the meeting I'm about to go into with Melissa, someone bumps into me from behind which causes my phone to slip out of my hand. "Oh my God." Is the first thing that escapes me as I watch the device hit the warm, concrete ground.

"Shit." The guy who bumped into me turns back around and gets to the floor to pick up the phone as I'm too shocked to do so myself. Please don't be broken. Please don't be broken. Please don't be broken. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking -"

"Is it broken?" Dark brown eyes look taken aback at the fact that I just cut off his apology. I know it seems rude but my phone's what important at the moment. He looks down to the phone in his hand, a few locks of his dark brown hair sliding forward to cover his face.

He shakes his head as he looks back at me "Nope. It's all good." I let out a relieved sigh as he hands it to me "the case did a good job."

15$ on amazon well spent.

When I'm done inspecting my phone for any cracks or damages, I look up at the stranger who's still standing a step above me. His lips stretch into an impatient smile "So sorry about your phone again." He apologises before jogging up the stairs letting me swallow my reply.

I stay rooted in my spot for a few seconds as I let the short conversation play in my head again. I think about all the things I could have done right- like allow the poor guy finish his apology, maybe tell him it's not his fault that my phone dropped even though it is. That's how people get conversations started and make friends. But all I cared about is my phone-my non-living best bud.

As I scan my phone once more to check if I missed a crack, the beating of my heart skyrockets as the screen lights up and I see the time.

Shit. Melissa. I'm late.

I jog up the stairs earning a weird glance from the woman with a little boy as I let out a string of sh*t. By the time I get up to the Daily Bruins at least 15 minutes late, I'm out of breath. I wait outside the meeting room for a quick second to myself before opening the door, cutting off whatever speech Melissa was giving to the only other person in the room. I glance swiftly at the dark haired boy sitting to the left of Melissa, a shocked look crossing both of our faces. The guy who bumped into me. What's he doing here? I shouldn't care about that for now. I turn back to Huntley, whose lips is set in an unimpressed line. The woman still manages to look absolutely gorgeous with her icy glare.

"Lorraine, so nice of you to join us." She rolls her eyes as she says this.

Still trying to catch my breath, I try to form some words "I'm sorry for being late I-"

"Save your apologies, leave my office." Melissa turns back to the guy, picking up from where she left off. "The review from the..."

Shocked is an understatement. Not only does it physically hurt to be spoken to in that manner, it's humiliating to be spoken to in that way in front of someone else-A good looking guy for that matter. It makes me want to dig a hole in the ground so deep it swallows me whole. I stand there, the soft thumping of my heartbeat resonating in my ears. I should speak up. I should say something, but just like always, I stand there stupidly with nothing coming out of my mouth as I let another human being walk all over me.

I'm so pathetic.

"I bumped into her on her way here and she dropped her phone. It's kind of my fault she's late." The guy says, eyes pleading for me as he looks from me to Melissa. I don't know what's more humiliating-him begging for me or me just standing there like the Statue of Liberty. I swallow slightly wishing Melissa kicks me out instead. I can think of about at least one thing that I want to do right now which involves tears. I don't want to be here anymore and it'd be much better than storming out on my own accord.

"I don't tolerate lateness, next time you're late to a meeting don't bother showing up."

The next 30 minutes of the meeting is a blur. All I managed to get is that the phone guy-Isaac was an intern last year during his sophomore year, but got offered a part-time job till he finishes college. That's something I'd hope to get out of this internship but I don't think Melissa even wants me here so there's no way in hell that's happening. J just don't understand why she gave me the internship in the first place if she doesn't like me. It's like she knows I'm an easy target and has decided to prey on that.

I try my best to run away from any situation that makes me feel like I'm back in high school. But right now all I feel like is the pathetic girl who was dubbed a mute for four years, the girl who couldn't stand up for herself-still can't. No matter how much I think I've changed, I haven't. I'm still same ol pathetic Lorraine and I hate myself for it.

"Lorraine?"

I look at Melissa, my belly automatically dipping that her attention is on me. I try not to look like I haven't been paying attention for the past hour as I sit up slowly.

"We're doing a section on midnight madness for Monday so I need you and Isaac to go to the event happening at Pauley Pavilion to get me photos, interviews on whatever's happening tonight." Melissa says gathering the papers on in front of her into a clean file. Before I can digest what she just said, she continues "Also, I'm moving up Charlie's article to tomorrow morning."

When I don't get a reason why, I frown "B-ut it was scheduled for the end of the month." I hate the sound of my voice. I sound like I'm scared-which I am.

"Charlie will be announcing that he's back on the team tonight. The press will be all over it and I want to be the first paper to have legit information about exactly what happened this past year."

The article isn't supposed to be coming out for another two weeks-enough time to prepare myself for having my first article on a paper, published for the world. Although Melissa has gone through it and is fine with it, I can't help but worry it's not good enough. The anxiety of what people would think as they read the sports section crawls at my skin and I find myself twisting my fingers rather aggressively under the table. If Charlie thinks I'm a no name journalist then what would other people say about me. And oh God, the accident. Charlie didn't want me writing about that and yet I did. What's going to happen when he finds out what I wrote about him? All these questions are running in my head, ruining the excitement of what's supposed to make me happy and proud.

"That'd be it."

Snapping out of my thoughts, I realise Isaac is now at the door watching me worriedly with Melissa scribbling on a piece of paper. I get my bag from where it's seating on the floor and exist the room. It's not until I'm outside the building that I find it easy to breathe again. Then it all hit me again like a sucker punch knocking the breath out of my chest.

I could sense the panic attack before it actually hit and my bag slips out of my hand as I force myself to breathe. I try to bend over but firm hands grab my shoulder, pulling me towards wherever. I want to resist but my instinct tell me it's the phone guy-Isaac so I focus on my breathing instead. Hot tears prickle my eyes as I think about how weak I must look having a panic attack right in the middle of campus in front of a stranger. I'm pushed softly into something cushy which kind of relaxes me and from the sound I hear next, I know it's a car. I lean against the seat and force myself to breathe. In through the nose and out through the mouth. I repeat the action a few more times before I start to feel normal again. When I can breathe without sounding like a broken engine, I open my eyes.

"You okay?" Isaac asks next to me.

I bop my head in response as I turn to the window.

"Would you like me to drop you home or just head to the pavilion?" I don't say a word to reply him. I'm simply too embarrassed to move or say anything. I just stare out the window hoping he'd make the decision "Since you're not saying anything, I'll head to the pavilion." I hear him say before starting the car.

I'm so tired that I don't find it weird that I'm in a stranger's car. I don't know if it's the fact that I didn't get much sleep during the night but in less than a few seconds, I fall into a deep slumber.

When I wake up, I'm still in the car with a cramped back from sitting in the same position for too long. I let out a loud, unladylike yawn as my eyes adjust to the slight darkness. How long did I sleep for? As I check my phone which is blowing from all the notification from Elle, my eyes catch a sticky note on the air con and I grab it.

Didn't want to wake you. I'm inside the pavilion next to the filming crew if you feel like it. Don't forget to lock your side of the door :) -Isaac.

Crap. Isaac.

A part of me wants to go home and forget that today ever happened but another part of me knows I need to apologise and say thank you to Isaac. The guy does not know me but has helped me twice in one day. Plus I can't just leave him to do all the work Melissa asked us to do. Sighing, I open the door and get out of the car. The parking lot is filled with cars and people trying to get into the arena. People are wearing school merch, laughing, holding funny placards-a contrast to how I'm feeling right now.

Not wanting to be around cheery basketball fans, I take a turn towards the less used entrance that says "Workers Only." I should be able to get in considering I'm here to work. And if I don't, I'll just have to take the main one.

I'm walking with a lot of things weighing on my mind when I hear his voice.

"Sophomore."

I don't need to turn around to know who it is. The squirm in my belly is enough to tell me. There's a funny feeling in my chest at the sound of his voice and I find it hard to continue walking-but I force myself to. The last thing I want right now is to face Charlie knowing very much the article is getting published tomorrow. Plus that phone call that I can't remember....it's all just too much. I can't handle it right now.

"Sophomore, stop."

I don't.

"Lorraine."

Closing my eyes, I halt my steps. I should just continue walking and pretend like I can't hear him but I can't do that. For some reason, I just can't help but turn around. I can't see his face from the hood pulled over his head but my eyes linger slightly on the number 13 on his chest. I find it weird that Charlie's jersey number just happens to be my lucky number. The number I secretly got tattooed on my skin about two years ago. "Are you alright?" He asks calling my attention back to his face. If I didn't know better, I'd think he's worried. But I do.

"Yes." I reply curtly not wanting to say more. I can't risk talking too much and triggering tears. I've had enough emotions for the day.

"Bullsh*t." Charlie calls as he takes a few steps closer. Although I can't see his face, I can feel his gaze on my face. I don't expect the word to affect me as much as it does "Don't lie to me."

I swallow "Just a rough day." I mumble which isn't entirely a lie.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Wanna talk about it? Right now when he should probably be inside the arena? Why's he even asking me this? Charlie's not the type to ask that sort of question. Coming from someone who doesn't even like me this seems like another tactic to fool me into being his fake girlfriend. Or maybe not-he did say he'd leave me alone.

"Can't." I reply quickly. "Gotta go."

Charlie shocks me by grabbing my hand before I can leave, pulling me to him. I hit his chest with an umph and the beat of my heart gradually speeds up at the contact. "Wait....just-wait a minute." His eyes are searching mine-for what? I don't know. But they're searching for something "were you crying?"

"What do you care?" I say harshly. Harsher than I intended. This makes me bite on my lower lip guiltily. What's happening? Why's he looking at me like he cares? Like I matter to him? What is it that he wants from me?

"I'm kind of having a tough day too." There's a long pause and for a second I think he's going to let go but he doesn't. Instead he swallows-the only thing giving away his intentions. There's something wrong. Charlie clenches his jaw slightly "I'm f*cking scared to go in there." He admits on a bitter chuckle "I'm going to f*cking mess it up."

His words suprise me more than I want to admit. That funny feeling in my chest returns and my belly flutters. Why in the world would my belly flutter for him. Him? Charlie and I are just standing there, starting at each other. It's like we're both trying to make sense of the situation. I think we're both too scared to say anything. I can't help but wonder what a guy like Charlie who literally has everything and everyone falling at his feet could possibly be scared of.

"Lor?" A strained laughter jolts us apart and Charlie let's go of my wrist. My face flushed as I turn around to see Elle approaching us with a funny look on her face. She's undoubtedly drunk "what are you doing here? I thought you said you weren't coming?"

"I-I changed my mind." I reply as she pulls me in for an excited hug.

"That's awesome!" She squeals excitedly not letting go "I'm trying to get to the toilet."

The toilet's not even this way. How drunk is she? I roll my eyes and link her hand in mine so that I can take her to the nearest ladies room. But when I turn around, Charlie's gone.