((Please Bare with me, I haven't listened to the First Episode of WTNV in like two years. But as I'm writing this I'm going to listen to it and try to feel the vibes. I'm also so sorry if this has grammatical issues, I'm writing this on my phone.))
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Takashi Shirogane as Cecil Palmer
Matthew Holt as Carlos... The Scientist
Coran as Old Woman Josie
Angels as Angels...
Keith Kogane as Abby (Cecil's Sister)
Lance McClain as StEvE cArLsBuRg
Pidge Gunderson as one of the many scientists that help Carlos (Matt)
Allura as Mayor Dana Cardinal
Hunk Garrett as John Peters... You know, the Farmer
Kuro as Kevin
Haggar as The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home
Lotor as Teddy Williams

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The desert seemed empty, all but a small town that was in the center of it. Well... two towns but who cares about the Desert Bluffs? The town we're talking about is Night Vale. The town was quiet except for the towns local radio station. Inside the radio station was busy with life to get the broadcast going. In the center of it all was a man, dressed in slippers, khakis, a nice shirt, a vest, and a horrendous tie. Lord did that tie deserve to be thrown into the dog park and never be recovered. The man's name was Takashi Shirogane, but the town just called him Shiro. The man was sitting in front of the microphone, waiting for his assistant to give him the signal that he was live. He was staring at his moving tattoos, that kinda looked like scars, but whatever. Soon his assistant gave him the cue and he scooted closer to the Mic, "A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep, " He pauses, "Welcome To Night Vale." He hears the music play as he grabs his first card to talk about. "Hello, listeners. To start things off, I've been asked to read this brief notice: The City Council announces the opening of a new Dog Park at the corner of Earl and Somerset, near the Ralph's. They would like to remind everyone that dogs are not allowed in the Dog Park. People are not allowed in the Dog Park. " He smiles and continues, with his deep voice, "It is possible you will see Hooded Figures in the Dog Park. Do not approach them. Do not approach the Dog Park. The fence is electrified and highly dangerous. Try not to look at the Dog Park, and especially do not look for any period of time at the Hooded Figures. The Dog Park will not harm you, " He continues. He begins to tell his listeners about the news. Old Man Coran had told everyone he had met Angels, who changed his lightbulb. He is now trying to sell the old light bulb, due to it being touched by an angel, and if you are interested meet her in the Car Lot. Changing a light bulb was not the only thing Coran said the ten foot tall, radiant,one of which being pure black, like the void, maybe it was the void, one my never know, beings did, they also were said to have done multiple other household chores. "In other news. A new man came into town today. Who is he? What does he want from us? Why his perfect and beautiful haircut? Why his perfect and beautiful coat? He says he is a scientist. Well...we have all been scientists at one point or another in our lives. But why now? Why here? And just what does he plan to do with all those breakers and humming electrical instruments in that lab he's renting - the one next to Big Rico's Pizza?" He pauses, his voice getting much deeper, "No one does a slice like Big Rico. No one." Shiro continues as though nothing had happened. "Just a reminder to all the parents out there: let's talk about safety when taking your children out to play in the scrublands and the sand wastes. You need to give them plenty of water, make sure there's a shade tree in the area, and keep an eye on the helicopter colors." His voice getting very happy, telling of the colors. "Are the unmarked helicopters circling the area black? Probably World Government. Not a good area for play that day. Are they blue? That's the Sheriff's Secret Police. They'll keep a good eye on your kids, and hardly ever take one. Are they painted with complex murals depicting birds of prey diving? No one knows what those helicopters are, or what they want. Do not play in the area. Return to your home and lock the doors until a Sheriff's Secret Policeman leaves a carnation on your porch to indicate that the danger has passed. Cover your ears to blot out the screams." He looks at his assistant as they frown at him, he shrugs. "Also remember: Gatorade is basically soda, so give your kids plain old water and maybe some orange slices when they play." Shiro finally gets to some more news, this time about a commercial airliner that had appeared in Night Vale elementary's gymnasium. The appearance of the airliner had disturbed basketball practice and was probably put there by Night Vales rivals, the Desert Bluff Cacti. The Night Vale Mountain Lions are greatly disturbed by the Bluffs. The Airliner disturbed practice for several minutes, "For shame, Desert Bluffs. For shame." Shiro then leans on the table and sighs happily, "That new scientist - we now know it's named Matthew - called a town meeting. He has a square jaw, and teeth like a military cemetery. His hair is perfect, and we all hate, and despair, and love that perfect hair in equal measure, " He sighs lovingly, biting his lip, continuing on about how Coran brought corn muffins, that lacked salt but weren't all that bad. Coran saying that the angels took his salt for godly missions. "Matt told us that we are by far the most scientifically interesting community in the U.S., and he had come to study just what is going on around here. He grinned, and everything about him was perfect, and I fell in love instantly." He sighs happily. Though on the other end of a radio was that said scientist who blushed and dropped the beaker he was holding in his hand, covering his face with his hands, curling up into a ball, blushing profusely. Matt could remember when he entered Night Vale, not really remembering how he got there, but still curious to see everything about the town he now lived in. He only tuned into the show when Shiro mentioned his name. Which was actually quite often, though Shiro only talked about, what had already happened that day. Shiro did fail to mention that there was so many people around him, and that he had a team of scientists. Matt remembered Shiro specifically, he was... Weird? Cute? He wasn't really sure, but he wanted to learn more things about Shiro, he wanted to learn about Shiro's family, about Shiro, he wanted to just learn about Night Vale. He hoped that it would be a great day, or year, or eternity, or however long he would be in Night Vale for, he hoped he could grow used to Night Vales Weirdness. Though he might have to avoid Shiro for awhile, he was too adorable to think about while doing experiments. "Government agents from a vague yet menacing agency were in the back, watching. I fear for Matthew. I fear for Night Vale. I fear for anyone caught between what they know and what they don't yet know that they don't know." Matt leaned on his desk, continuing to listen to the voice speak about the press release that was given that morning, something about Night Vale gaining a Waterfront... In the middle of the desert. Shiro continued to talk about the topic, not that Matt was listening. He just needed something to fill up the void of silence. "Guns don't kill people.
It's impossible to be killed by a gun.
We are all invincible to bullets and it's a miracle." Matt looked towards the radio, confused. What had he walked himself into? This town was so weird, "Matt and his team of scientists warn that one of the houses in the new development of Desert Creek, out back of the elementary school, doesn't actually exist." Like he said, what the hell is this town? The house doesn't exist, it's fictional. "'It seems like it exists,' explained Matthew and his perfect hair. 'Like it's just right there when you look at it. And it's between two other identical houses, so it would make more sense for it to be there than not.' But, he says, they have done experiments and the house is definitely not there. At news time, the scientists are standing in a group on the sidewalk in front of the nonexistent house, daring each other to go knock on the door." Matt had said all of those things, but if he's being honest he only used scientific terms when outside of the lab. He usually said things like, "WE'RE GONNA LET THE THINGY GO BOOM! " In short, he was a dork, but a good kinda dork. Shiro had started to talk again, but Matt was now engrossed in other things. Those 'things' were the experiment(s) he was previously doing, once more only tuning in when Shiro mentioned him. Though Shiro did mention a floating cat, he would have to check that out later. "Matt and his scientists at the monitoring station near Route 800 say their seismic monitors have been indicating wild seismic shifts - meaning to say that the ground should be going up and down all over the place. I don't know about you folks, but the ground has been as still as the crust of a tiny globe rocketing through an endless void could be. Matt says that they've double-checked the monitors and they are in perfect working order. To put it plainly, there appears to be catastrophic earthquakes happening right here in Night Vale that absolutely no one can feel.
Well, submit an insurance claim anyway. See what you can get, right?" Matt was absolutely confused at this point, was Night Vale always like this or was it only like this on Mondays? Well he will find out soon. He began his experiment once more, as Shiro talked about the traffic report, "Now, police are issuing warnings about ghost cars out on the highways, those cars only visible in the distance reaching unimaginable speeds leaving destinations unknown for destinations more unknown. They would like to remind you that you should not set your speed by these apparitions, and doing so will not be considered 'following the flow of traffic.' However, they do say that it's probably safe to match speed with the mysterious lights in the sky, as whatever entities or organizations responsible appear to be cautious and reasonable drivers, " The radio booms, before it going silent for a few moments, "and now the weather. " Some music begins to play.
~~(These and More Than These by planetoffinks) ~~

As the song ends Shiros voice comes back, "Welcome back Listeners," He smiles into the mic, looking down at his cards once more. "The sun didn't set at the correct time today, Matt and his team of scientists report. They're quite certain about it. They checked multiple clocks and the sun definitely set ten minutes later than it was supposed to." Shiro leaned closer to the microphone, "I asked them if they had any explanations but they did not offer anything concrete. Mostly they sat in a circle around a desk clock, staring at it, murmuring, and cooing. Still, we must be grateful to have the sun at all. It's easy to forget in this hot, hot, hot desert climate, but things would actually be slightly harder for us without the sun. The next time the sun rises, whatever time that turns out to be, take a moment to feel grateful for all the warmth and light and even, yes, extreme heat that our desert community is gifted with." Shiro began to turn his head to look at the cards again. "The City Council would like to remind you about the tiered Heavens, and the hierarchy of Angels. The reminder is that you should not know anything about this. The structure of Heaven and the organizational chart are privileged information, known only to the City Council members on a need-to-know basis. Please do not speak to or acknowledge any Angels that you may come across while shopping at the Ralph's or at the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex. They only tell lies and do not exist. Report all Angel sightings to the City Council for treatment." Shiro threw the card aside, reading the next, "And now a brief public service announcement. Alligators: can they kill your children?.....Yes. Along those lines, to get personal for a moment, I think the best way to die would be swallowed by a giant snake. Going feet-first and whole into a slimy maw would give your life perfect symmetry. Speaking of the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex, its owner, Lotor, reports that he has found the entrance to a vast underground city in the pin retrieval area of Lane 5. He said he has not yet ventured into it; merely peered down at its strange spires and broad avenues. He also reports voices of a distant crowd in the depths of that subterranean metropolis. Apparently the entrance was discovered when a bowling ball accidentally rolled into it, clattering down to the city below with sounds that echoed for miles across the impossibly huge cavern. So, you know, whatever population that city has, they know about us now, and we might be hearing from them very soon." Shiro looked at his assistant, who was throwing another card at him, " Matt, perfect and beautiful, came into our studios during the break earlier but declined to stay for an interview. He had some sort of blinking box in his hand covered with wires and tubes. Said he was testing the place for 'materials.' I don't know what materials he meant but that box sure whistled and beeped a lot. When he put it close to the microphone it sounded like, well, like a bunch of baby birds had just woken up. Really went crazy. Matt looked nervous. I've never seen that kind of look on someone with that strong of a jaw. He left in a hurry. Told us to evacuate the building. But then, who would be here to talk to sweetly to all of you out there? Settling in to be another clear night and pretty evening here in Night Vale. I hope all of you out there have someone to sleep through it with. Or, at least, good memories of when you did." He said lovingly but still confused. Shiro blinked and shrugged, "Goodnight, listeners. Goodnight, " He moved away from the mic and sighed. He looked up at the ceiling, getting up. Listening to the daily proverb, "Today's proverb: Look to the north. Keep looking. There's nothing coming from the south." Shiro smiled at his coworkers, beginning his walk home.

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Shiro had returned home, still thinking about Matt, he was so handsome, so beautiful. He really hoped he would be able to see him more than once a month. But one can only hope, but hope was all that he needed. Shiro was glad to see someone different, and accepted. He was absolutely in love, but then again he hadn't seen anyone new in awhile. Maybe their story would escalate. Shiro loved that thought.

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The art is not mine, but this idea is. If I get asks to do a second one, about the most important episodes, for Carlos and Cecil or Shiro and Matt. Maybe I'll make this into a series. Who knows. Anyway the art is by a friend of mine.

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