"You ready? He's pretty dangerous." "Yeah. Nothing we can't handle, right?"

I woke up to the sound of my intruder alarm in my ear. Seriously? At 2 in the morning? I just got up and didn't bother  with putting on something other than my pajamas. I went down the stairs and found myself staring at two Octolings with Hypnoshades.

"Look, just leave, guys. You don't wanna risk your lives for this." I tried reasoning with them, but the first one just went for me with a knife. Pathetic. I just sidestepped and kicked him in the nuts. The second, a girl, drew a gun on me instead. "Stand down! I don't wanna have to use this!" I just sighed and went back upstairs. She followed me up, but was met with a swift whack to the face with a golf club. She fell down the stairs and landed on the other guy, and I pulled them both to the garbage chute, and dumped them in. They're gonna be stinking for days, gonna be pretty funny!

Man, this sleep deprivation's getting to me. These guys need to lay off...