"How many died?" I asked as soon as the door closed behind Lara.

My father hesitated. "We're not sure yet. David is doing an inventory to find out who's missing. We have a few injured but nothing as bad as you and Luca."

I had to swallow a few times before I found my voice. "A-and E-Ethan?"

I already knew the answer but I needed him to confirm it. His breathing sped up slightly until it matched mine. My body jerked when he place a hand on my leg.

"H-he didn't make it," he croaked. "They tried but. . ."

"T-the burns were too bad," I finished his sentence for him.

He nodded and moved closer. I tilted my head back and blinked up at the ceiling to stop the tears from falling, but I lost the battle when my father took a seat on the edge of the bed. Pain shot through my chest and I tried to breathe through it.

"D-Does Lara know?"

"David told her."

I nodded and lowered my head to look at him. Our eyes locked and for the first time in years my father truly showed emotion. He wasn't trying to hide his pain. He was allowing me to see his anguish. Would he have felt so much pain if I had died instead of Ethan? I reached up and rubbed at my eyes.

"W-what happens know?" I questioned after I've managed to get myself somewhat under control. "Lara said that the pack house and some other houses got burned."

Devon cleared his throat and stood. I watched him as he walked over to the window and stared out of it. His shoulders sagged and his head dropped. He didn't get the reaction he was hoping for from me. What was he expecting? Was he expecting me just to forget about everything that had happened and lean on him?

"I don't know," he finally said.

"You should start by investigating the fire," I told him. "It was no accident."

"I know." He turned around. "Calib is already on it. There's going to be a lot of chaos now that the pack is without an Alpha."

And it was all my fault. I should've gone in there sooner to get them out. He had said that there was some business he needed to take care of. I didn't expect him to go home. If I had known I would've reacted faster. He wouldn't be dead.

"You think they will challenge each other for the position?"

"Yes," he muttered, moving closer to the bed.

"What about Calib? He's Ethan Beta, isn't he?"

"Calib is a good kid, but he's not ready to take over. Even if he's announced as Alpha, he's not much of a good fighter so the chances of him winning a challenge are slim. Why Ethan chose him as Beta is beyond me."

I studied him as he paced back and forth by the edge of the bed. He hadn't come here to talk about the pack. Something else was on his mind. Licking my chapped lips, I reached for the cup and took another sip of water. I stared down at my shaky hand as I placed the cup back down. I felt weak. The pain meds they had been giving me were slowly starting to work out of my blood. I could feel every inch of pain.

"Why are you really here?"

He paused and seemed to be debating his answer. Slowly Devon turned to face me.

"We're worried about Lara."

I frowned at him. "She seemed fine."

"That's the thing, Silas. She lost a mate and she's not reacting the way she should. She should be screaming and crying. You know what she told your mother?" I shook my head. "She told her that she felt nothing."

"Everybody grieves in their own way father," I told him. "When can I get out of here?"

His eyes narrowed. "Has the doctor talked to you yet?"

"About what?"

"Your skin grafting surgery to replace the dead tissue they had to remove."

"I don't want any skin grating done. When can I leave?"

"You're going to have scars, Silas. You—"

"I'm going to have scars either way, father. It doesn't matter." I paused. "I'll take over as Alpha until you find a suitable replacement."

Devon blinked at me while his mouth opened and closed. He looked like a fish out of water and in different circumstances, I would've laughed at him, but I didn't, I couldn't. After a minute he nodded at me.

"When do you want to make the announcement?"

"As soon as possible before they start fighting."

He still hesitated by the edge of the bed. If that was all he wanted to talk to me about then he would've left. I didn't like his lingering. I didn't like the way he studied me. I kept my face impassive as I stared at him. The less he saw of my emotions the better.

"Ethan—" He broke off and ran a hand through his hair. "We need to start making arrangements for the funeral. Since you'll be acting as Alpha, I need your permission to. . .change things."

"You need my permission?" I laughed. "Why don't you take over?"

"I don't want to."

I gave him a small smile. "Because you've realized just how putting everybody before yourself fucks you up? Because you—"

"I don't want to talk about this Silas."

"Why not?" I questioned. "You never talk about anything. All you do change the subject—"

"What do you want to talk about, Silas?" he yelled, throwing his hands in the air. "You want to talk about the fact that I'm a shitty father? Do you want to talk about the fact that I'm so fucked up that I couldn't even see that my sons were hurting?"

"You always placed Ethan first," I muttered. "You always praised him and encourage him. Everything you did was always for him."

"No, that's where you're wrong." Devon stepped closer and reached out. "I tried. You have no idea how badly we tried to fix the mistakes we made, Silas. We were wrong and we clearly see that now."

"But it's too late now father," I told him. "Ethan's dead."

"Silas—"

"I'm tired," I interrupted him. "Leave."

I stared down at the white sheet and waited but he didn't leave. His eyes burned into me and I fought the urge to look back up at him. I wanted him to leave so I could grieve on my own. I breathed out when he finally turned and walked over to the door, but he paused.

"For what it's worth," he said softly, "we love you very much. We love both of you equally. Maybe we weren't ready to be parents and maybe we fucked things up beyond repair, but we can't change that. We love you Silas, I want you to know that nothing would ever change that."

***

Heat surrounded me.

Smoke filled my lungs, making it hard to breath. My eyes burned and I couldn't see a thing but I could hear him. I followed the sound and found him in the living room. Ethan's legs were trapped by part of the top floor that had collapsed. He coughed again and again.

I stumbled forward and kneeled next to him.

"Just keep breathing," I told him as I eyed the debris on top of his legs. "I'll get you out."

"N-no," he choked. "G-go. Get out."

"I'm not leaving you."

The beam was too heavy to lift on my own, especially with the other one on top of it. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and tried again and again but it barely moved an inch. My lungs were burning. Why couldn't I fucking move it? I was just as strong as them.

"S-Silas. It won't move. I tried. I-it's stuck. Get out."

"I'm not leaving you!"

Ethan grabbed my arm and jerked me towards him. When I was close enough, he gripped the back of my neck and pulled me lower so our foreheads were pressed together. Our eyes locked and I could feel mine filling with tears.

"I don't want to leave you," I croaked. "Lara needs you. We n-need you."

He gave me a small smile and squeezed my neck. "You d-don't. N-neither of you n-need me. You have each other a-and soon you'll h-have your own f-family. I n-need you to d-do one thing for me."

"A-anything." I blinked rapidly to clear my blurry vision.

"Treat her like a queen. Don't ever let anything like what happened to us happen to your kids." He suddenly started coughing. "L-Luca," he croaked when he finally calmed down. "T-take care of him."

"You k-know I will," I promised.

"R-remember o-our spot by the river?" I nodded. "Find the treasure."

I was about to question him because his words wasn't making any sense. What treasure? But Ethan pressed his hands against my chest and shoved me away. His actions were so unexpected that I fell backwards.

"No!" I screamed when he roof suddenly caved in and tumbled down right on top of him.

The rest of the walls gave way and something fell on me, making it hard to move. I was on fire. I was burning but I felt nothing. All I could hear was Ethan's screams as he burned alive.

***

I jerked awake in panic.

For a few seconds I struggled to breathe. I could still feel the heat of the fire and smell the smoke in the air. Ethan's screams were still echoing in my mind. Guilt made my stomach turn. I threw back the sheets and stumbled towards the bathroom. Flicking on the light, I hurried over to the toilet and dropped to my knees. I clutched the toilet as I puked.

My body tensed when I felt a soft hand on the small of my back. Lara pressed her body to my side as she rubbed my back. I could feel her baby bump clearly. Somehow it only made the guilt in me intensify.

I pulled away from her and got to my feet. Flashing the toilet, I walked over to the basin to brush my teeth and splash my face with water.

"Silas?"

"Go back to bed, Lara," I told her without glancing up. "We have to get up early tomorrow morning."

Tomorrow was Ethan's funeral. I clutched the cabinet tightly and squeezed my eyes closed. Devon wanted to have a human funeral for him, but I refused. It was too risky. After what happened to Lara and me, I couldn't take that risk. Those bastards who kidnapped us were still out there.

"Are you mad at me, Silas?" Lara questioned.

I swallowed. "No."

"W-why are you like this?" I heard her move. "You've been distance ever since you wake up. You won't look at me or allow me to help you. D-do you blame me f-for what happened?"

I slowly raised my head and looked at her. Our eyes locked in the mirror and I could see the pain in her eyes.

It's been a week since I was released from the hospital. A week since Devon had made the announcement that I would take over as Alpha until a suitable replacement was found. A week since our lives turned to hell by a fire that had destroyed nearly half the pack.

"Do you blame me, Silas?"

"No, I don't blame you," I told her as I straightened. "I don't blame you and I'm not mad at you, Lara."

She blinked, making a tear slowly trail down her cheek. Lara quickly wiped it away but another one fell. Turning around, I stepped towards her but paused. My hesitation gave her the wrong idea. With a sob, Lara spun around and ran into the bedroom. I quickly followed her and grabbed hold of her arm before she could storm out of the room.

"Lara—"

"She was right!" Lara yelled. "She was right. You hate me! Everybody hates me."

"Who?" I frowned at her. "What are you talking about?"

Lara started slamming her fist against my chest as she started to cry. I caught hold of her wrist and pulled her against my chest. She started trashing and screaming. Lara jerked her wrists free and managed to kick me and before I could catch hold of her again, she was out the door. I hesitated for a split second before I raced after her.

"Lara."

Slipping an arm around her waist, I lifted her and pulled her off her feet. Instead of fighting, her body went limp. I stumbled backwards until my back hit the wall and then slowly slid down to the floor and placed Lara on my lap. With her back to my chest, she silently cried.

"Look at me," I ordered, but she shook her head. "Please, sweetness."

Another sob fell from her lips. Wrapping both arms around her, I hugged her tightly and buried my face against the crook of her neck. Her cries tore at my heart. I hated seeing her cry but knowing that she blames herself just about killed me.

"It's not your fault," I whispered against her ear. "I don't blame you. Nobody does. You didn't start that fire, Lara."

"S-she said it should've b-been me," she hiccupped. "S-she said it w-was suppose to be me."

"Who?" I questioned.

"A-Avery."

I tensed and then frowned. Avery had told her that? A brief memory of hearing Avery and Lara talk flashed through my mind. It was faint so I wasn't sure if it was real or not. I hugged her a little closer.

"She s-said I w-was supposed to b-be the one to r-run into the house." Lara sucked in a breath. "She said y-you ran in t-there because of me."

Lara shifted, forcing me to move back. She turned her head and looked up at me. I reached up and wiped a tear away with my thumb. My eyes darted over her pale face and lingered on the purple bags underneath her eyes. Lara wasn't sleeping like she was supposed to be.

"Silas?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat but tears filled my eyes. "I ran in there to safe Ethan. I didn't know that he was in the house until I heard Luca. He said he was going to take care of some business." I sucked in a breath. "You needed him. You wanted him."

A tear dripped down my cheek. Lara turned and wiped it away with a shaky hand. "You could've died. I could've lost you and that would've killed me."

"Lara"—I cupped her cheeks and tilted her head back—"you needed Ethan more than you needed me. He could've given you everything I couldn't. He would've made you so much happier."

Her eyes darted between mine. "Y-you don't think you make me happy?"

I shook my head. Lara gave me a small smile as she sat up and turned around to straddle my lap. She placed her hands over mine that was still cupping her cheeks. Licking her lips, Lara pressed her forehead against mine.

"You make me very fucking happy, Silas. I can't imagine living without you anymore. I only want you and nobody else. Ethan will always be a part of me and I can't change that."

"I'm s-sorry I c-couldn't safe him."

"He's really gone, isn't he?" she whispered.

I nodded. "He's really gone sweetness."

"I-I don't f-feel it," she told me. "He can't be gone, Silas."

"He's gone, Lara. Ethan is dead."

I hugged her tightly when she started sobbing but this time I cried with her. I cried for the loss of my brother and I cried for the fact that I would never be able to fix things between us. I cried because I hated him and never told him how much I loved him. I cried because I would never get to hear him laugh or have him teasing me.

I cried and Lara cried with me until our tears dried up and we were both exhausted.

Pressing a kiss against her cheek, I pulled away and stared down at Lara. Her eyes were red-rimmed and I was sure that it matched mine. I moved a few strands of hair from her face and gave her a small smile.

"Why don't we go check up on Luca?" I asked her.

"I'd like that."

We got up and made our way down the hall to the nursery my parents had set up for Luca. He was still healing but we had been assured that he would be just fine. But Luca was different and I couldn't help but worry. The fact that he never made a sound anymore still worried me. I wanted to take him to see some of the elders from the other packs. Maybe they could help.

But when we entered the nursery Luca wasn't in his crib. All we found was a letter with words that had my blood run cold.

If I can't have him, neither can you.