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38. ARIANA:CHILDHOOD

Lucas's upper back was covered in white scars of all sizes. He had some on his lower back too but it wasn't a lot.

Lifting a shaky hand, I pressed it to his still warm skin. Some of the scars were still raised, making me wonder how deep it used to be and how long it took to heal. He must've been in a lot of pain.

I swallowed.

How had he gotten them? Who had taken care of him as his wounds healed? Had it hurt very badly?

My hands stilled when I spotted something else on his shoulder blade underneath the scars. I pushed myself up onto an elbow and leaned closer to get a better look.

It looked like a birthmark of about three inches in size. The outside lines were shaped in such a way that it formed a bat with its wings stretched while there was a small heart on the inside. My lips twitched.

A little bat with a heart.

But my smile faded and my brows dipped into a frown when I remembered that it wasn't the first time I had seen something like it.

It was in one of the books in Dad's library at home. However, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember what it meant.

Pushing the thoughts away, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to one scar.

Lucas stirred.

I slipped my hand down his back as I pressed another kiss to his skin. .

"Ariana?" he croaked.

I pulled back to look down at him.

He blinked sleepy eyes at me and then frowned. Lucas suddenly tensed and jerked upright. Panic-filled eyes darted around the room as his fingers clutched at the sheets.

"Hey." I scooted closer and reached out to press a hand against his chest. "It's okay."

Lucas's eyes snapped to mine. He blinked once, twice, and then he slowly relaxed. Frowning, he reached out to grip the back of his neck and pull my face closer to his.

The kiss he gave me was unexpected but not something I could complain about. By the time it ended, I was breathless and aching to have him inside my body again.

"Morning," Lucas rasped against my lips. "What time is it?"

I licked my lips. "I don't know."

I raised an eyebrow when Lucas laid back down on his stomach. A low moan fell from his lips as he dropped his head onto the pillow and closed his eyes.

"Are you okay?" I questioned him.

His eyes opened and locked on me. "Just have a headache."

My eyes darted over to the door and then back down to him. Lucas had closed his eyes again and it looked like he was already half asleep.

"D-do you want me to go get you something for your headache?" I asked him even though leaving the bedroom was the last thing I wanted to do.

"No, I'm fine, doll." His lips curled up into a smile. "Come lie with me."

I laid down on my side and scooted closer until my legs brushed his. My eyes darted over his face. They lingered on his parted lips that were swollen from our kiss a few seconds ago, before dropping to trail over his body.

The sheet was tangled at his feet, leaving most of his body exposed.

"You're allowed to look at me, but I'm not allowed to look at you?"

Colour flooded my cheeks but I didn't look away. "I wasn't sure how you would react to my scars," I told him.

When my eyes finally reached his face, I found him studying me intently.

The silence between us was comfortable even though we were both butt naked.

I reached out to touch the birthmarks on his shoulder blade again, making him tense.

"Your birthmark looks like a bat," I whispered. "It looks cute, I like it."

"Do you have a birthmark?"

"No." I smiled at him. "I've seen it somewhere before. Your birthmark," I clarified when he only continued to stare at me. "Dad has a lot of books. Most of them are old but he has a few journals he's written about our history. After the kidnapping, I use to sneak into his library to read them."

"He didn't allow you to read the books?"

"He did, but we weren't allowed to read the journals."

"Why?" Lucas rolled onto his side, making my hand slip down to his arm. "If it's about your history then why did he forbid you from reading them?"

My eyes dropped to his chest as his question circled around my mind. It was a valid questioned and something I hadn't thought of before. Some of the journals were new—Dad had written them himself when we moved to live with Grandma and our Granddads. I knew that the old journals had been destroyed in a fire before we were born.

If the journals contained our history, why couldn't we read them?

I shook all the questions away and focused on Lucas.

"Did your mother teach you how to fight?" I asked him to change the subject.

"No," he answered but he didn't say anything else.

"What was she like?"

Lucas swallowed loudly and reached out to wrap an arm around my waist. His eyes darted over my face before they locked with mine.

"She was a bitch," he said, surprising me. "Mother always wanted things to be done her way. She never had time for me unless it was to train or teach me about your kind."

Pain flashed through his eyes but he blinked and then it was gone. Lucas cleared his throat. He was silent for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"Sometimes I felt like she hated me just as much as she hated—" he broke off abruptly.

"As much as she hated. . .?" I pushed but to no avail.

Lucas pursed his lips and refused to finish his sentence. Nothing else was said about his mother which made me all that more curious about what he was about to say before he stopped himself.

"If she didn't teach you how to fight, then who did?"

Instead of answering my question, he asked one of his own.

"What was your mother like?"

Unexpected pain shot through me. Leaning forwards, I pressed my face to the crook of his neck. I was a bit surprised to find his temperature matching mine. I sucked in a breath. His skin smelt like sweat and sex, but buried underneath it was the scent that drew me to him.

"She died when I was ten," I whispered.

Lucas pressed his cheek to mine. "How did she die?"

"She was killed in a car accident on her way home."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Tears burned my eyes as the pain in my chest increased. I squeezed my eyes closed.

"She was the most amazing mother in the whole wide world," I told him. "Mom always placed our needs before her own. She was kind and loving."

"Was she a Lycan?"

I hesitated, unsure how much I should tell him. Lucas had the right to know about my family history since we were mates, but for some reason, I didn't want to tell him everything. The things Eva said made me hesitate.

"Yes," I answered him. "She was a Lycan."

Maybe it wasn't the right time to tell him everything. He hadn't told me what he was about to say before he stopped, so it meant that Lucas was hiding something from me too.

The silence between us lasted longer but only because I was still debating whether I should tell him more about Mom or not.

"Why do you always want to bite me?" Lucas asked softly.

I pulled my face from the crook of his neck and gave him an apologetic smile.

"It's...instinct to mark you because you're my mate," I told him. "I want everybody to know that you belong to me."

His lips twitched. "As much as I love your possessiveness, I'm not fond of the idea of you sinking your teeth into me."

My smile faded slightly. "I probably won't be able to sink my teeth into you the way I want."

He frowned. "Why not?"

"I can't shift," I whispered. "I haven't been able to shift since the kidnapping. To answer your question, I can't grow claws or sharp teeth to mark you the way I want to."

His lips parted but he seemed to change his mind about what he wanted to say. Lucas leaned forward to kiss me instead.

The sheet slipped from between our bodies, but instead of moving on top of me, he turned onto his back and pulled me on top of him. I gasped when his hands squeezed my ass and then moved me lower so my pussy was directly above his growing length.

As much as I would love to have sex with him again, I knew that I needed to talk to Grayson about the plan I had. I pressed my palms to his chest and sat up.

"I need to—"

A bang on the door made our bodies jerk in fright. "Get your asses up and meet me in my office in five minutes," Grayson growled.  

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