We've been on a total of three dates and all of them has been great. Silas kept it simple but romantic. There has been no repeat of the night we ate—or almost ate—dinner at my apartment. He would kiss my cheek in greeting and my lips when he dropped my off at home.

As the days went by our dates became more frequent. Every time Silas said goodbye the need to keep him with me grew. I didn't want him to leave at all which made warning signals flash through my mind. I thought we were going to keep things light. I thought that we were only going to have a few dates and then he'd want to jump into my past to which he would realize why I froze every time he would touch me.

Last night Silas had taken me on a picnic to the park. It was amazing to just sit there under the stars and talk about random stuff. When we finished our food, we had laid down and stared up at the stars. Silas had made his move then and I hadn't stopped him. I loved kissing him and feeling the tingles his touch left on my skin, but when he slid between my legs with his body on top of me, I froze and panic hit.

I laughed it off, like I always had, but I knew he was curious. He wanted to ask questions and I was afraid that if I told him that he would go running for the heels.

This thing between us wouldn't last. In a few weeks I would have to leave. This time I would be leaving all on my own. And sooner or later Silas would also be leaving to wherever he came from. I barely knew a thing about him.

"Earth to Lara," Andrea called, clapping her hands in front of my face.

I jerked back and blinked up at her. I must've spaced out without realizing it. A small sigh fell from my lips and my shoulders sagged. Her eyes darted over my face but I turned away before she could see anything. It was too late, however, because she took a seat on the couch next to me and scooted closer.

"Okay, spill it. What did he do?"

"What makes you think he did anything?"

"You've been moping around the whole day. Just last night you were excited about your date tonight. I've watched the excitement fade along with you smile dropping. I expected you to be halfway ready by now." She gripped my hand. "Talk to me, Lara."

I licked my lips. "I'm confused," I whispered. "I—"

I shook my head. Leaning back, I glanced around the apartment. Most of the small things had been sold off. It was only the furniture that remained. I pressed a hand against my chest to try and ease the dull throb that started there. The thought of leaving actually made me feel sick. It had everything to do with the man that has been haunting my dreams.

"Lara, has he hurt you?" Andrea asked softly. "Is he pushing you into doing things that you don't want to."

"What? No!" I yelled.

I jumped up from the couch and started pacing. It took me only a few seconds to realize that I was trembling. Andrea was staring up at me with a frown. The last thing I wanted to do was dump my problems on her. She had enough wedding plans to worry about.

Stopping, I sucked in a deep breath and slowly blew it out. After a few more breathes I felt calm enough to take a seat next to her again. She turned towards me and waited.

I swallowed. "I'm falling in love with him."

She blinked and jumped up from the couch. "I knew this was going to happen!"

"You're the one who encouraged me to go for it!"

"I told you to have some fun! I didn't expect you to get attached to him so soon!" She ran a hand down her face. "He's obviously a player Lara! The man is a freaking millionaire and super dodgy! Do you know that he has no social media accounts? I google him and—"

My eyes bulged. "You googled him?"

"I had to! All I found was some basic information about him. No mention of any family or close friends." She fell down beside me. "You're my best friend. I want you to be happy but for that to happen you need to find yourself a nice young man who's down to earth and has the same interest as you."

"Silas and I have a lot more in common than you think," I said softly. "I've never felt this way with anyone before."

"Then why does it look like you want to go dig a hole and bury yourself in it?"

I hesitated. "We had a picnic last night. Everything was going great. We were kissing and he climbed on top of me and I panicked."

"Did he push you?"

"No," I yelled, glaring at her. "What is it with you?"

"I'm just worried about you." Her eyes darted over my face. "I don't want you to go through what you went through with that bastard. I know that you're a strong woman, Lara. You've proved it time and time again, but I feel like this time is different. I know this time is different. If Silas hurts you like he did then—"

"He's not like that," I quickly defended Silas. "He's a real gentleman. Silas hasn't pushed me into doing anything. In fact, he's been keeping his distance from me."

"Then what's the problem?"

Licking my lips, I glanced down at my lap. My mind instantly flashed back to last night. "I want him, Andrea," I said softly. "I want to have sex with him but I'm scared that once we get started I'll freeze and have a panic attack."

When she didn't answer me, I risked a glance up at her. She was smiling at me. Andrea moved closer and wrapped her arms around me. Tear burned my eyes. I hugged her tighter. After a pat on the back, Andrea pulled away but grabbed hold of my shaky hands.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, Lara," she said softly. "You are a very beautiful and desirable woman. Nothing that bastard said was true. It wasn't then and it won't be now."

"W-what if he wants to have sex with me tonight?"

"You do what you want to do. If you don't want to have sex with him then you don't need to."

"I want to," I whispered.

"The best advice I can give you right now, is for you to tell him the truth. Either he will understand or he won't. The worst thing that can happen is Silas walking away from you."

That's what's going to kill me, I thought. It would rip me apart if I laid my soul bare only for him to walk away.

***

Nerves were eating me alive.

In twenty minutes Silas was going to knock on the door. But I knew he'd show up a few minutes earlier. Kenzie had allowed me to leave early to get ready when he heard about my date. Silas hadn't given me much to go on as to where we were going but he told me to wear something formal. I was very nervous. Instead of getting ready for my date, I had practiced what I was going to tell him over and over again in front of the mirror.

My body jerked when there was a knock on the door. I stared at it for a few more second before I finally forced my body into action. My legs felt like jelly and my chest tight with panic. It took a few tries to get the door unlocked and open.

Silas turned when I opened the door. He was dressed in a form-fitting black suit and crisp white shirt with a light blue tie. His smile slipped from his face when our eyes locked. In the next instant he was right in front of me with his hands cupping my cheeks. Silas tilted my face up.

"What happened? Are you okay?"

I licked my lips and nodded. My mouth suddenly felt as dry as the Sahara Desert.

"Why aren't you dressed yet?" he asked. "I know I'm a few minutes early but usually you're already ready."

"S-Silas, I—we need to talk."

His hands dropped from my face. "It sounds serious."

Instead of answering, I turned and made my way back towards the couch. The moment the back of my knees hit the couch, I sank down onto it. My eyes darted over to him where he still hovered near the door. He pursed his lips and then blindly reached back to push the door closed. A few minutes later he took a seat next to me.

Silas's eyes darted over my face. I caught a flash of panic in his eyes but then he blinked and it was gone. His eyes were blank again. Reaching behind me, I grabbed the pillow and clutched it to my chest. It was my lifeline when things went wrong tonight.

"Lara, what's wrong?"

I swallowed, but I couldn't bring myself to look back up at him. "R-remember last n-night? At what h-happened at the p-picnic?"

"Which part?"

"When y-you got o-on top of me and I p-pushed you away?"

He stayed silent for a few seconds before answering. "I remember."

"I—" I trailed off.

How was I supposed to tell him? What if he didn't understand? What if he never wanted to see me again? I clutched the pillow tighter to my chest as I tried to fight off the panic.

"Lara?"

"About two years back I met a man," I started softly. "He was rich like you and he swept me off my feet. Things were great." I paused. "After the second date he. . ."

"Did he hurt you?" Silas growled, moving closer. "Did he force you?"

My eyes snapped up to his. He looked murderous. I glanced at his hands that were gripping his thighs tightly. His knuckles were turning white from the tight grip.

I shook my head. "H-he didn't. W-when he kissed me I-I felt nothing. I didn't get turned on like he was. Whenever he touched me I turned cold. I thought it was just him but it kept happening. They told me I'm frigid." I sucked in a breath. "And a whole lot of other mean things. I—"

"You're not frigid, Lara," Silas interrupted.

"I am!" I threw the pillow aside and jumped to my feet. "Every time a man touches me, I freeze and panic hits me."

"Every time?" He stood and took a step towards me. "You didn't freeze the first night I kissed you. You were with me all the way until I took off."

"S-Silas—"

"Whatever that bastard said to you isn't true!" he yelled. "You're not a frigid woman Lara and I'll proof it to you!"

Before I could react, Silas grabbed my arms and pulled me against him. His lips smashed on mine, making every single thought fade from my mind. I melted against him and for a few seconds the panic from earlier was forgotten. The moment his hand slid up my back beneath my shirt, I froze. I pushed at his chest and Silas instantly pulled away but he didn't step back.

"Do you really feel nothing when we kiss? Does my touch really do nothing to you?"

"I—" my words died down his hand lowered and he grabbed my ass.

"I know you're being affected by my touch as much as your touch affects me." He lowered his head to my neck. "I'll show you." His lips softly brushed my skin. "Say yes Lara. Let me show you."

"Silas—"

"Do you feel attracted to me?"

I nodded.

"Did you feel attracted to those men?"

I thought his question over. Those men never made me feel anything close to what Silas was making me feel. He made me feel so much more.

"No."

My hands clutched his shirt when he gave my ass a squeeze before moving his hand up to grip my hip. His lips trailed over my jaw, my cheeks and then back to my lips. This time his lips brushed mine so softly that I barely felt his lips against mine. Frustration hit when he made no move to deepen the kiss. My hand slid up to grip the back of his neck and tug him closer.

"Lara," he breathed when he broke the kiss. "Say yes. Let me show you that what they said isn't true."

What was there to lose? "O-Okay."