67. ARIANA: SEE YOU LATER
"Knock, knock."
My eyes darted toward the doorway. The frown instantly slipped away as my lips curled into a smile when I realized who it was. I gestured for him to enter my room as I slipped the bookmark into the pages and closed the book.
"Hi."
He smiled. "Hi. How are you feeling today?"
"I wish everybody would stop asking me that," I growled. "If there was something wrong I'd tell you."
"Would you?" he questioned as he took a seat on the edge of the bed.
"Yes."
Ethan's eyes darted over my face for a few seconds and then slipped away to glanced around my room. He didn't give anything away which made me a little more curious to know what he was thinking.
My room didn't look like it belonged to a little girl anymore, but I had kept some of my stuffed toys along with some old storybooks that Mom used to read to us. My walls were painted a light pink but everything else was either white of or light blue.
"I came here to say goodbye," he said softly as he looked at me again. "I didn't want to leave without giving you something."
"I thought you were going to stay since we know the truth."
"Only you know, nobody else knows who I am and it's best if we keep things they away it is." He gave me a small smile. "I talked to your Dad and he agreed that once I find a new place to stay that you guys can come visit me."
I rolled my eyes and blew out a breath. "He still thinks that we're five years old. We're old enough to make out own decisions."
"No matter what age you are, Ariana, you will always be his little girl," he said softly. "Besides, it will make him feel better knowing where you are after everything that's happened."
My eyes dropped. The last thing I wanted to talk about was Oliver. It was hard enough having to tell my therapist everything he had done to me. I wasn't that naive to think that there would be no other dangers lurking around, but with Lucas at our side, I knew that we would always be well protected.
"You and Eva can come visit me if you want to," he muttered. "We can catch up on all the years we missed."
I gave him a small smiled as I nodded. "I'd like that."
"Good." He chuckled. "Eva wasn't very keen on the idea of sitting around a campfire and sharing stories."
"She's lying." I giggled. "Eva loves the outdoors."
"I'll keep that in mind."
He stared at me with a smile playing around his lips. For a moment it looked like he wanted to say more, but he shook his head and pulled something from his pocket.
Ethan unfolded the white envelope and then held it out to me. My name was sprawled on the front in an unfamiliar handwriting.
"It's from Lucas," he said softly. "He asked me to give it to you."
It was never a good thing when someone else was asked to give you something. Swallowing, I took it from him with a shaky hand. Without another word, Ethan stood and then leaned down to press a kiss to the top of my head and then he quietly walked out of the room.
I waited until the door closed before I tore the envelope open and pulled the folded papers out. A part of me already knew that he had left again. I was tempted to rip the letter to pieces and throw it away, but I couldn't because even though it hurt, I wanted to know what he wrote for me.
Dear Ariana
By the time Ethan gives this letter to you I'll be long gone. Believe me, this is as hard for me as it is for you. The last thing I want to do is to leave, but I need to.
Words can't express how I felt that night when you told me that I only had an hour before you tell Silas about the photos. It took everything in me to walk away. I wanted to stay so fucking badly but I knew that if I did things would have ended badly.
I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I need to so you can understand why I'm leaving after I told you that I won't.
Ethan heard our conversation. When I left, he came after me and took me somewhere where I suppose he intended to kill me, but then he saw Eva's locket (I was suppose to give it back to her. Emeric found it in the park where. . .it doesn't matter.) He locked me up instead. During the first month I barely saw him. A few weeks into the second I went through the change. Afterwards Ethan showed me the things he found.
It's basically what you know from what they told us.
Ariana, everything has changed.
I changed.
I'm not sure what I am yet or where I come from, but what I do know is that I want to drink your blood so fucking badly and it scares me. You already gave me a taste. Do you remember, doll?
It's why I need to leave.
I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to accidentally hurt someone close to you. I'm not going to lie and say that I don't like the new abilities I have. To be honest, it's also scary because I have no idea what I'm capable of. Not to mention the whole. . .bloodsucking thing.
Grayson knows a man who's like me. He agreed to help me. There might be a possibility that he knows who my parents might be. I want to find out where I came from. I need to know who I am.
I don't know for how long I'll be gone for, doll.
This is the part that's going to kill me but I need to say it.
You once explained to me what a mate means. I know that the three of us belong together but I know that there's also a possibility that you might get the opportunity to move on with someone else, someone who hasn't hurt you as much as I have.
If that happens I don't want you to feel guilty. I want you to be happy.
Doll, will you ever forgive me?
I knew you before I met you but I only got to know you after. You accused me of lying, I did lie but never about you. Everything I said, everything I did. . .everything that happened between us from that kiss in the shower up until the day you found those pictures. . .it was all true.
It wasn't pretend.
It wasn't to get close to you're family.
It wasn't to get you to trust me.
It was because kissing you, holding you, protecting you and sleeping with you was what I wanted to do.
I haven't been a perfect mate and I know that there's a possibility that I might not be what you really want, but if there's hope for us, I need you to tell me. Long distance might not be ideal but I'd like to give it a try if you want to. Maybe, some distance is exactly what we need to heal.
I need to go now. This isn't everything I wanted to tell you but if I don't leave now I might miss my flight.
This isn't goodbye, doll. (Not unless you want it to be)
It's just see you later.
P.S If you're in trouble know that I'll be there to save you.
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